I'm not a good person to write a review of a golf course. In fact, there are probably few worse than I. The reason for that is I recently played golf for the first time in 13 years since playing with a $3 rented set of clubs on a $5 18-hole course on a Navy base in Washington state... and I wasn't any good then either.

The Wizard of Odds, Mike Shackleford, invited me out for a day on the links at the Primm Valley Golf Club along with a couple of his gambling friends. I tried to clearly tell Mike how incredibly bad at golf I was, but he said not to worry about it and just come out and have fun.

As I recalled from my days in the Navy playing on military base golf courses, when I would swing at the ball there was a reasonable chance that the ball would actually go the opposite direction of my swing. Other times I would hit full strength off the tee and the ball wouldn't make it to the ladies tee.

Ah well... I couldn't weasel my way out of it; Mike wouldn't let me. He just said to make sure to wear a collared shirt and no blue jeans and I'd be fine.

After a 30 to 40 minute drive to Primm we crossed the state line into California and arrived at the course. I wasn't aware that the course was actually in California. We were humorously reminded when commencing the round that the course was not in Nevada so no wagering while playing. Uh huh.

Here's me and Mike starting off the day...



After making a 14 and picking up without finishing my putting on the first hole, I then realized that somehow I hadn't magically improved at golf in the 13 years of complete absence from the game. Funny how that works. I had Mike write me down for a 16 but who knows what I would have actually gotten.

On the second hole I got a solid 14, meaning I actually putted the ball into the hole in 14 strokes. That was gratifying.

I know you may be asking what the par for the holes was, but with a 16 and a 14 does it really matter?

I did settle down a little making 7s, 8s, and 9s on a few holes, and on one par 3 hole I had about a 5-footer for par, but I just lipped the corner of the cup. That would have made my day. Of course, I then 2-putted from there for a 6 on the hole.

At one point I was admonished by a staff member of the course because you're supposed to use the cart path only on all the par 3 holes, and holes 1, 4, and 16. Well, I drove the cart on the grass of a par 3 hole and I got a talking to. Live and learn.

So as you can see, I can't tell you a whole lot about the quality of the course since I'm not knowledgeable about that. I can tell you that I got a sandwich and a beer, and when I went to hit a ball from the fairway, a crow started eating my sandwich. I can tell you that the scenery was beautiful and the staff was pleasant, courteous and helpful. Any more questions?

Here are a couple more pics:



Here's a look at the course and mountains from the clubhouse. Not a very exciting picture I know, but I think that crow flying is the one that ate my sandwich.



Here's Mike Shackleford juggling 4 golf balls at the same time. Many might not know this, but he is an avid juggler and unicycler, and also the guy that came up with the Most Popular Baby Names list put out each year by the Social Security Administration.

If you really want the scoop on Las Vegas golf courses, pick up a copy of Golf Las Vegas which is available in both a printed and e-book format.

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My New Orleans trip entry was so popular that I wanted to follow up with a few pictures for you to enjoy.

The St. Louis Cathedral. The buildings on the left and right are museums. The cathedral itself does have Catholic services. This is right along Charles Street. Cafe Du Monde, with its famous coffee and beignents, is across the street.

This guy was at the entrance to one of the many souvenir stores in the French Quarter. He got me for a buck, since I decided to ask him about my future.

My fortune as told by the skeleton dude.

Just some random French Quarter buildings.

The Central Grocery with the biggest collection of spices I've ever seen. I would love to have a store like this nearby to get spices for cooking. They also serve muffuletta sandwiches here.

Harrah's casino at night.

Harrah's casino sign inside the men's bathroom. Men's bathroom ... get it? (Did get some funny looks using my camera in the bathroom.)

One of the many fun parades going on for Mardi Gras.

Bourbon Street.

No idea on this one ...

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Palazzo invited me to a grand opening gala complete with buff guys in towels, hot babes in skimpy togas, waterfalls, red carpet, Jay-Zee and a lot of champagne.

Palazzo looks, well, like the Venetian, only newer. There are 81 elevators in the Palazzo. There are 13 jewelry stores. THIRTEEN JEWELRY STORES.

It has a better video poker selection than the Venetian had, so if you want to get some points there, you can play $1 and $2 JoB in single- and multi-line variations.

The Palazzo has a bizarre soundtrack that plays such hits as "The Rose" by Bette Midler and "The Night Chicago Died" by Paper Lace. If you're like me and plan on spending a lot of time on the casino floor ... bring ear plugs or an iPod.

The Palazzo might have opened a little too fast. For one example, I was playing poker with a Venetian employee who told me that some people had checked into their room and called down soon thereafter with a complaint. Their complaint? There was no toilet in their suite. I don't need a whole lot in a hotel room. But a toilet sure comes in handy.

Kidding aside, the place is gorgeous and I'm looking forward to trying the fine dining. I think the property offers a lot to two groups of people: Those with lots of money that want only the best possible traveling experience, and also the medium rollers like me who know how to gamble and get the best for less. After all, the video poker inventory at Palazzo is better than many of the high-end places on the Strip.

Here are a few random pictures from the visit (put your mouse over the pics for a quick description) [You must use Internet Explorer to take advantage of this feature. -- Ed.]:

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