Washington man makes minor concession to reality: The world's least relevant chief executive announced that we are experiencing "uncertain times," then continued on his preferred course of spouting Panglossian optimism. (You know: Everything is for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds.) To read his rhetoric, you'd think the President has abdicated economic leadership to Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke. 

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Online gamblers unite! Speaking of Washington follies, the Treasury Department is rolling out possible regulations to help enforce the midnight ban that Slick Billy Frist (Failed Presidential Aspirant-TN) slipped through Congress to protect our fair shores from Internet gambling. Because, you know, if people are allowed to "have a bit of a flutter" (as the saying goes) at Betair.com and its ilk, then the terrorists have won.

Personally, I think the Treasury Dept. is doing what it is legally obligated to do but might have better luck trying to catch the wind in a butterfly net. If people want to wager online, they'll find a way. And, absent any evidence to the contrary, I'd say that online players face a bigger risk that the games aren't on the square than that they're somehow helping Al-Qaeda launder money.

Besides, if we're going hypocritically exempt horse racing (because it's the sport of kings and all that s&*t), can't we at least make a short-term fix and exclude poker, too? Ex-Sen. Alfonse D'Amato (R-NY) was never my favorite politician but, between this and being a longtime champion of gay rights, he's generally had a good track record when it comes to small-l libertarianism. You go, Al.

On the other hand, Frank J. Fahrenkopf's opposition to regulated, taxed Internet gambling errs too far in the opposite direction. Considering the amount of dues Fahrenkopf's American Gaming Association rakes in every year, I'd still like to know why John Q. Taxpayer is expected to foot the bill for Fahrenkopf's beloved 'Net-gambling study. Farm it out to a think tank and fund it yourself, Frank. Hands off my wallet!

(For the record, Fahrenkopf's AGA was caught napping when a 30% federal tax on gambling was floated back in '04 [by racist ass-clown Rep. Steve King (R-IA)], with a semi-endorsement from President Bush. Now Mike Huckabee has reintroduced this supremely bad idea back into the national debate and the AGA, from all outward appearances, still hasn't done squat. I guess they figure that playing possum is a safer strategy than speaking out.)