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Semantic Pretzel of the Week

Posted At : March 31, 2008 02:26 PM | Posted By : D McKee
Related Categories: Labor

A tip of the cap to City Life's Steve Sebelius for alerting us to this one. Starbucks CEO Howard Schwartz, whose company just lost a $100 million lawsuit in California over its practice of tip confiscation, issued the following voice-mail bloviation to his serfs, er, highly prized work force:

"I want to personally let you know that we would never condone any type of behavior that would lead anyone to conclude that we would take money from our people."

Got that? Howie wouldn't condone leading people to believe that he takes money from his workforce (because he's too cheap-@$$ to pay supervisors the going wage). But he will continue to actually condone taking "money from our people," as a follow-up corporate statement made clear. Starbucks informed the public that its corporate-socialism program will continue unabated while the company seeks an injunction on San Diego Superior Court Judge Patricia Cowett's ruling. 'Cause, y'know, those simple working people wouldn't know what do with that $86.7 million (plus interest), so it's better they should let Good King Howie spend it for them.

Hey, Howie: There are two more swift kicks headed for your posterior, in the form of Minnesota and Massachusetts lawsuits. So why not quit while you're behind by just getting rid of the tip jars altogether? It's chintzy, it's emotional blackmail of your customers and it just makes your company look like a rinky-dink cheapskate. A cheapskate that charges a fin for a cuppa joe.

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