Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear (D) is coming for your Internet casino, even if he has to pry it from your cold, dead fingers. No, the "D" behind Beshear's name doesn't stand for "demented," "deranged" or even "doofus," as there's a coldly pragmatic rationale behind his actions (which he lays out in rich, high-fidelity MP3 sound).

He's right upfront about doing this not to stop gambling per se but to ensure that Kentuckians who gamble do so at the Bluegrass State's horse tracks or in its lotteries (or maybe in those brick-and-mortar casinos he still dreams of building). Thus, any pieties the guv may utter about the social costs of gambling are at best mouthwash and more likely hypocrisy.

Steve Beshear, working on his "crazy" look.

Were Beshear's actions not so much in line with liberal do-gooderism (as well as with right-wing nanny-state-ism), casino detractors might point out that he's apparently hunky-dory with the "ease, availability and anonymity" of losing one's money playing the ponies or the lottery -- a notoriously regressive form of taxation.

When you come right down to it, Beshear's doing the dirty work of one branch of the gaming industry at the expense of another ... much as he carried water for Columbia Sussex oligarch William J. Yung III when he put casino legalization before the Kentucky Lege, in what became known as "the Bill Yung scandal."

Beshear's certainly right about this case being "unprecendented" and "potentially groundbreaking": Not even the U.S. Department of Justice has unleashed such a wide frontal assault on Web-based casinos. And, in his defense, he's enforcing laws already on the books in Kentucky. As for why enforcing aforesaid laws is suddenly such a priority, my colleague David Matthews has the answer: "He hopes to be able to have the state take over the domain names and then shut them down, or perhaps even use them for his own marketing purposes."

"In essence, this is a threat to national security." Yes, Beshear really says that. Before you stop rolling with laughter, know also that he brandishes the old "terrorism" and "money laundering" shibboleths that Slick Billy Frist used to help ram the UIGEA through Congress in the dead of night. Oh, and Internet casinos are not to be trusted, Beshear tells us, because they're "foreign," unlike wholesome American casinos in "Ne-vaahhh-da."

Mmmmmm ... xenophobia served between two piping-hot slices of fearmongering. Yummy! And, as Matthews points out, Beshear's on "a political crusade" that will please the churchy and horsey sets alike. It's a win-win for him. 

"Don't gamble on the Internet, child. Do it at the track."

One of Beshear's lieutenants acknowledges that the domain-name grab could impact sites that have already blocked Kentucky users. Meanwhile, there's been no concerted response from Internet casino operators. Nevada's congressional delegation and über-lobbyist Frank Fahrenkopf, for their part, continue to promote a ridiculous resolution for a one-year study of Internet gambling, yet another indignity foisted upon long-suffering taxpayers.

Worse still, they oppose federal regulation in favor of a patchwork state-by-state approach. Faced with that potentially nightmarish crazy quilt of divergent regulatory regimes, overseas 'Net casino operators may decide that trying to do business in the U.S. is prohibitively expensive -- which may be Fahrenkopf's endgame and that of his patrons.