Despite story upon story, Penn National Gaming refuses to oblige the Las Vegas Review-Journal and purchase The Mirage. (This was the paper that pooh-poohed the Phil Ruffin/El Ad deal when it began to break.)

While -- for all we know -- intense negotiations may be going back and forth right now between Penn and MGM over the titular property and a deal could be thisclose, the story has never amounted to much more than feverish speculation that The Mirage simply must be for sale. It would also run a cart and horses through the equally prevalent conventional wisdom that MGM is simply 'renting' Ruffin Treasure Island and will buy it back for $1.2 billion somewhere down the road. After all, if the pirate place doesn't make sense without The Mirage, the reverse equation makes even less.

About the only thing we know for certain is that Ruffin ran the Mirage numbers and found it too rich for his blood, opting for Treasure Island as a Christmas present to himself. And that Steve Wynn didn't make an offer for it. Or so he keeps saying (and I don't for a moment believe that he did or would). Is there a story here or are we all on a fishing expedition?

My best guess -- and it's nothing better than that -- is that MGM is trying to interest Penn in one or more of at least four other properties but Penn wants something mid-Strip, for obvious reasons, and doesn't want to pay the going rate. (Naturally, given God's rich sense of irony, a Mirage sale will be announced today or tomorrow and I will be proven spectacularly wrong. If so, much crow will be eaten.)

What's new and interesting is the revelation in today's paper that, unlike your average sleeping-dog corporate board, Penn's board of directors actually paid more than lip service to its fiduciary duty by restraining CEO Peter Carlino from making a bid on a Las Vegas Strip property until prices fall further. "Penn National's management is committed to acquiring a Strip resort, potentially in 2009," reads the article, in which case Carlino has put himself on the hook and probably shouldn't hope for any discounts. In other words, he's become the equivalent of the pig in the old ham-and-egg-breakfast analogy, with MGM Mirage, Harrah's Entertainment, etc., enjoying the role of the chicken.

Update: Hunter Hillegas has a slightly different take on l'affaire Mirage and his readership appears to be growing skeptical of the rumored sale, for myriad reasons. There's also a valuable link to MGM Mirage property-by-property financials (a nicety the company has discontinued) toward the bottom of the thread.

Update 2: Read this next Mirage dispatch only if you have a strong stomach. I guess bloggers aren't being comped at Encore after all.

Hot flash: Menopause closes April 5.

Is Colony Capital's malaise reaching its sclerotic, baneful arm out for the Las Vegas Hilton? Parts are starting to fall off the LVH vehicle at an increasing rate. First, Star Trek: The Experience was shuttered and still no replacement has been found. Now Norm! ("The Scene and Heard") informs us that the end is drawing nigh for Laugh Out Loud, featuring The Scintas, and the LVH's cabaret mainstay, Menopause: The Musical.

According to man-about-town Clarke, "a sexy show is under consideration" in their place. Whew! I'm so glad to see the LVH doing something original. 'Cause if there's one thing you can't find in Vegas, it's a "sexy show." Nope, nothing like that in these here parts. Way to go, Colony Capital, the company that brought you a celebration-less New Year's Eve at the Atlantic City Hilton. And excuse me but when did Chrissy Scinta cease to be sexy?