Then go hang out at Stack. If they don't like your looks, the in-house goons will be sicced on you. And Las Vegans wonder at the schadenfreude so many people feel with regard to Sin City's current doldrums.

No magic bullet. Liberalization of casino rules in Colorado will raise considerably less revenue than expected. Whoever made the projections that are now coming up 60% short obviously didn't take the recession into account.

Opposition grows. An effort by Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn to saturate the state with video gambling devices is encountering widening opposition. Chicago suburbs Evanston and Naperville are among the areas that have nixed the prospect of slot routes.

Don't like our roads? Mail your thanks to Gov. Jim Gibbons, who just got his knuckles rapped by the chairman of the House Committee on Transportation & Infrastructure for laggard deployment of federal highway funds. It's pretty slow around Carson City once the Lege decamps, so what's Midnight Jim's excuse this time?

Sanity 1, Drunks 0. A trio of boozing bozos who rampaged through Buffalo Bill's before piling their car into a ditch can't sue MGM Mirage for their own asshattery, Nevada's high court rules. Since they were drunk off their asses and getting into fights, the trio of boozehounds maintained, casino management had an obligation to keep them on-property ... presumably so they could have continued terrorizing other patrons and otherwise letting the good times roll. In an unrelated victory for common sense, it is no longer a crime in South Carolina to play poker in the privacy of your own home.

Keystone stalemate. Casino owners like Las Vegas Sands who have gone ahead with preparations to add table games will soon be rewarded -- but not until endless legislative machinations play out. House Democrats appear to be backing off a 34% tax rate for tables (J.P. Morgan reports that leadership is now floating a 21% figure) and may even come down to the 12% rate favored by their GOP colleagues. The $10 million upfront fee, though, appears to be a done deal.

All that said, solons managed to spend much of a special weekend session dickering over matters that ought to be none of their business. Like: Should casinos be allowed to serve free drinks to their patrons? Or: Can they operate on Christmas? Now, nothing sounds more depressing than spending Christmas Day at Harrah's Chester, but aren't these matters that ought to be the prerogative of the individual casino owner? Also, ostensibly pro-business Republicans wanted to put table games before the voters, which could render the whole legislative exercise moot ... and relief can't come soon enough for racinos like Penn National Gaming's Hollywood Casino, which is starting to slash its payroll.