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Posted At : May 28, 2009 09:08 AM | Posted By : D McKee
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... from the big cardio-scare on Tuesday. Modern medicine ran its usual battery of tests on my ticker -- including one that'll put a good fright into you, aptly called a "stress test" -- and pronounced it in good working order. I also got punctured with needles in no less than seven different places (included a botched IV that rendered my left hand temporarily swollen with saline solution).
So what went wrong? The closest anyone could come was an educated surmise of acid-reflux disease. The conditions were propitious [sic]: I hadn't eaten in the better part of a day, and had just returned from an errand on a hot, fetid afternoon. At least that's the most convincing explanation I was offered for my sudden malady.
In any event, some changes of diet and routine will be in order. A few other random observations about spending 24 hours in the hospital: A) the emergency room was a cross between Kafka and Purgatory -- some patients had been waiting 10 hours or more for treatment; B) every other patient I encountered was more afflicted than I was, so I was counting my blessings the whole time there; C) once you got past the emergency room (from Purgatory to Paradise?), one was treated as warmly as possible; and, D) even the splitting headache caused by the application of a nitro patch was a minor affliction compared to being subjected to six hours of the Discovery Channel.
These included a marathon of Deadliest Catch, which ought to be called Whiniest Catch. You'd think guys who chose such a demanding occupation would put a lid on their self-pity when the cameras are rolling ... but if complaining and blame-shifting were Olympic events, these fellows would take home the gold, silver and bronze medals.
My favorite was the captain so incompetent he sails across his own fishing line, then has the effrontery to lean out the porthole and yell at his crew, like was their fault. Reminds me of a boss I once had, come to think of it.
My deepest gratitude to everyone who wrote or called, expressing their concern. Some of the notes are so kind, I'm almost abashed to read them. Anyway, a huge pile of work awaits but I didn't want to tuck into it before thanking you from the bottom of my ultrasound-scrutinized heart.
Please don't get abashed. You'll end up in that ER again, and they might have to call in the FBI 'cause you were abashed on the internet - there must be an anti-terrorist law against that. :)
Glad to hear things went well, went through the same thing with my mother last year too, sudden chest pains, to hospitalfor 2 days of tests and best they could determine was acid reflux. Although she was very happy to have the chance to go through a full work up and see how things were. So perhaps at least it gives you some peace of mind that you might not have had otherwise.
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