Five dimes worth of damage, $40,000 bail -- and all to wrest a measly two grand from some vending machines at Harrah's Atlantic City. That's the losing bet made by two security guards. Couple this with the floormen who destroyed their careers for a comparably picayune sum of money they allegedly scammed from Planet Hollywood, and we're seeing a level of desperation in casino crime the likes of which I can't recall.

City of Dreams. Voters in Ohio haven't approved casinos in any form yet, but that's not stopping Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, who's already had a design executed. Gilbert has lined up critical support by promising to forego hotel rooms and restaurants (though he's left himself a little wiggle room there).

But don't be fooled: Phil Satre used the same Trojan Horse strategy to get an onshore casino in the heart of New Orleans. A few bankruptcies and legislative showdowns later, Harrah's N.O. has a hotel and a couple of restaurants. (Like it or not, Satre was brilliant.) I'll be so not surprised if Gilbert gets his casino, then discovers the numbers don't pencil out at a 33% tax rate, and starts waffling on his non-aggression pact with hoteliers and restaurateurs.

Damn that vox populi! Seems that Harrah's Entertainment had a bit of contractual noblesse oblige written into its pact to purchase Thistledown Racetrack. If the issue of racinos has to be put to a vote of the people, all bets -- so to speak -- are off. Which means that Harrah's can take its $89 million and skedaddle, leaving bankrupt Magna Entertainment holding the bag. For the moment though, Harrah's is playing the issue down, saying talk of a pullout is "premature" and hasn't been given much thought.

Even Las Vegas Sands appears to be feeling disappointed with early results from Sands Bethlehem. A massive, 2,000-slot expansion, slated for November, has been scaled back by 88%. Even so, Pennsylvania casinos are busy planning for the addition of table games (although the Lege hasn't approved it yet). The price of table games will probably be higher (18% tax + $15 million upfront) than casinos want, but at least they've been successful in battling back an expansion-sapping 34% tax rate on tables. For slots, they still have to pay a usurious 55%, one of the worst rates in the nation.

But if Sands wants to maximize its drawing power, it might want to think about finishing the hotel and other amenities that got shoved onto the back burner when Sheldon Adelson's coffers began to run dry. At least Sands has gotten a temporary reprieve from sliding to sixth place because -- even with financing in place -- Neil Bluhm is taking a go-slow approach to his $355 million Philadelphia casino, out of deference to historical preservations. (Funny how Bluhm can build a Philly casino complex for half of what Adelson blew on his unfinished Bethlehem resort.)

Fortune favors the bold, which means it won't smile upon Sen. Ron Wyden (D-OR), who apparently caved to pressure from increasingly useless and counterproductive Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV). It looks like Hapless Harry is behind Wyden's craven withdrawal of an amendment that would have taxed Internet gambling to help pay for health care reform.

Incidentally, an amendment that would have authorized $100 billion to close the infamous Medicare "doughnut hole" was voted down yesterday. Jeez, those 'Net-bet taxes could have come in handy as an alternative means of plugging the hole. (Oh, and fuck you too, Max Baucus.)

And that goes double for you, stock-picker Jim Cramer, whose spam rips through our LVA filters like Japanese torpedoes through the hull of the U.S.S. Oklahoma. It makes me sorry I ever said anything nice about you, Jimbo.