... says the Motley Fool, in essence. Even Borgata, which posted a higher operating profit year/year, is deemed merely to suck less than everybody else. I'm not sure I'm with the Fools on this one. For instance, shouldn't Sands Bethlehem be doing better than fifth among Pennsylvania casinos, especially when you consider its proximity to New York City?

Elsewhere on the Boardwalk, the UAW is fighting Trump Plaza, the Plaza is fighting the National Labor Relations Board and Trump dealers are fighting amongst themselves. Since 32% of dealers initially voted against UAW representation, it should be a cinch to round up 30% to sign a decertification petition. Kudos to Trump Entertainment Resorts CEO Mark Juliano for going out of his way to soothe potential animosity between labor and management.

MILF convention in A.C.: On Oct. 3, former Bunnies and other veterans of the short-lived Playboy Hotel & Casino will return to the shore to relive the good old days. A few might even wriggle into their old Bunny costumes. Maybe a re-infusion of the Playboy brand is what Atlantic City needs. It can only help. Are you listening, Carl Icahn? Revel? Pinnacle Entertainment? Anybody?

Finally, a reason to visit Orlando ...

... or maybe not. And that dude from Scotland is in serious need of subtitles.

Resort-style casinos come to Colorado and doesn't Ameristar's new hotel look lovely? Now, if only somebody would build a mid-market property like this on the Strip. Why must average Americans settle for older, second-tier properties if they're to afford a Vegas vacation?

Health care reform + Internet gambling? Is it just me or is Sen. Ron Wyden (D-OR) onto something here? This may be just the carrot to dangle in front of legislators who still balk at allowing Americans to wager on the Web.

Creditors screwed again. How much is Greektown Casino worth? Is it the $725 million its creditors claim? Or the $540 million that Greektown asserts? Or maybe the lowball $485 million that lead bidder Tom Celani is willing to pay? Greektown's recent -- and well-publicized -- inroads into the market share of its Detroit rivals lend merit to the higher-end valuations. If the place was in the doghouse, I might sympathize with Celani (who's likely to boot the very management team responsible for Greektown's turnaround), but Fine Point Group has definitely enhanced a once-seedy casino's value.

It's official. VIP-player commissions in Macao will be capped. Since the war over junketeer commissions was threatening to make Macao a negative-revenue proposition, the new ceiling will greatly improve cash flow for Macanese operators. Middle-of-the-pack Galaxy Entertainment is expected to benefit the most (+27% EBITDA), followed at some distance by Stanley Ho (16%), with Las Vegas Sands and MGM Mirage bringing up the rear. Although the elderly Ho may be on his deathbed, he's lived long enough to broker peace in a potentially destructive situation where the only sure winners were the sought-after junket operators.

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It's not quite on the global scale of the Ultimate Bet brouhaha, but the Tran Organization's conspiracy to fleece dozens of U.S., Canadian and tribal casinos is racking up an amazing head count. To date, federal prosecutors have already nailed 31 scalps to their wall, not counting three other individuals to who pled out to related charges (including one in Canada).

If you thought this was the end of the Tran Organization ... surprise! The feds unsealed another set of indictments this month. Eight more individuals were hit with various counts of "conspiracy to steal money and other property from Indian tribal casinos, and conspiracy to travel in interstate and foreign commerce in aid of racketeering."

At the core of the Tran Organization's scam was the execution of "false shuffles," whereby "slugs" of unshuffled cards were insinuated into blackjack and mini-baccarat decks. This required the cooperation of corrupt casino employees and, from the looks of the Department of Justice's announcement, the core Tran Organization members must be rolling on their casino-employed helpers.

The Tran gang managed to take no fewer than 26 casinos during the life of its scheme, which is a very black mark against the industry's standard of game protection. The dishonor roll is as follows:

1) Beau Rivage Casino, Biloxi, Miss.
2) Casino Rama, Orillia, Ontario, Canada
3) Foxwoods Resort Casino, Ledyard, Conn.
4) Gold Strike Casino, Tunica, Miss.
5) Horseshoe Casino, Bossier City, La.
6) Horseshoe Casino & Hotel, Tunica, Miss.
7) Isle of Capri Casino, Westlake, La.
8) Majestic Star Casino, Gary, Ind.
9) Mohegan Sun Resort Casino, Uncasville, Conn.
10) Palace Station Casino, Las Vegas, Nev.
11) Resorts East Chicago Hotel & Casino, East Chicago, Ind.
12) Sycuan Casino, El Cajon, Calif.
13) Cache Creek Indian Bingo & Casino, Brooks, Calif.
14) Emerald Queen Casino, Tacoma, Wash.
15) Imperial Palace Casino, Biloxi, Miss.
16) Argosy Casino, Baton Rouge, La.
17) Trump 29 Casino, Coachella, Calif.
18) Isle of Capri Casino, Bossier City, La.
19) Agua Caliente Casino, Rancho Mirage, Calif.
20) Spa Resort Casino, Palm Springs, Calif.
21) Pechanga Resort & Casino, Temecula, Calif.
22) L'Auberge du Lac Casino, Lake Charles, La.
23) Nooksack River Casino, Deming, Wash.
24) Barona Valley Ranch Casino & Resort, Lakeside, Calif.
25) Caesars Indiana Hotel & Casino, Elizabeth, Ind.
26) Monte Carlo Resort & Casino, Las Vegas, Nev.

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Relaxation of stringent visa restrictions from Guangdong Province came a full four months sooner than expected, starting Sept. 1. Now, residents will be able to visit Macao once a month instead of quarterly. While this has prompted J.P. Morgan to raise its price target on Las Vegas Sands stock, analysts also fret that Sands may overreact and go pedal to the metal on its unfinished Cotai Strip™ hotels.

Those same analysts are bullish on the manufacturing sector, though. They think casinos will be more willing to reinvest in the slot base as 2009 draws to a close. Also, the onward march of casino expansion means more jurisdictions and facilities to whom IGT, Bally and WMS can peddle their products. They're 'meh' on regional casino operators like Penn National, Ameristar Casinos and Pinnacle Entertainment, due to flattish performance. (Penn could catch a break in Kansas, though I still think Cordish Gaming has that sewn up.)

But that's a rave notice compared to the long face Morgan analysts pull when pondering Boyd Gaming's prospects. They cite the slow-to-recover, promo-driven locals-casino market in Las Vegas ("trickle-down" economics of the worst sort); Atlantic City's critical condition -- "the best-case scenario here is that [Borgata] would do less bad" than most of A.C. -- those blah regional metrics and new competition for the Blue Chip riverboat in Indiana, which had been looking like 2009's feel-good story.

Intriguingly, the prospect of a Strip acquistion is floated in lieu of a 'stalking horse' bid for floundering Station Casinos. Boyd's still got enough unused borrowing capacity it could even swing an acquisition of The Mirage (with money to spare), not to mention some of the lower-hanging fruit, which now includes Planet Hollywood. But if the J.P. Morgan guys are gun-shy concerning Boyd ...

They're over the moon about MGM Mirage's CityCenter: "we are increasingly under the belief that City Center will be a new must-see property for both domestic and international gamers/travelers that should drive solid visitation volumes to the Strip in 2010. We were impressed with the massive 18m-square-foot complex ... a new type of high-end product for the Strip that should garner increased trips. It has a very contemporary feel that is different than anything else on the Strip, with lots of natural light and high ceilings, interesting room product and, for a massive property, ease of getting around from one 'neighborhood' to the next."

More good news comes in the form of a press release from Commerce Casino (in Commerce, Calif.), which rolled out the welcome mat for a group of undoubtedly weary firefighters. A strike force of 30 Bay Area-based firemen is being housed in the casino's hotel, with the casino comping all meals and picking up most of the hotel tab. Let's hope that such civic-mindedness spreads through the industry like -- if you'll forgive the analogy -- wildfire.

In case it matters, "super-starlet" (yes, that's the official term) Holly Madison has been given a 12-month contract extension at Peepshow, so she's obviously earning her pay. Also, I've heard through the grapevine that she and incoming Aubrey O'Day do not get along, so the timing of the Madison announcement should make clear who's got the upper implant in this situation.

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Plans by Pinnacle Entertainment to move its President riverboat upriver just hit a big snag. Taking the view that the President's license is portable, Pinnacle hoped to use either the vessel itself or the license to jimmy open a new market niche along the Mississippi River.

Seems the Missouri Gaming Commission doesn't hold with Pinnacle's logic. Move the ship, they say, and it's open season on that 13th (and last) license in the Show-Me State. Right now, Pinnacle's keeping the President operational as a charity case -- thereby preserving the license -- but the Coast Guard is likely to shut her down in 10 months, so decrepit is the vessel.

Not that I wish ill for Pinnacle, one of the classier outfits in the industry, but this here is what's called "karma." Both Pinnacle and Ameristar Casinos pushed hard for legislation last year that uncapped the state's loss limits in return for capping the number of licensees. It was an anti-competitive move that was inveighed against in these pages.

Ameristar and Pinnacle tried to lock up what was an open territory. Now, with the President's license skittering about the field like a wet football, Pinnacle's going to find itself having to grapple with the very competitors it thought it had excluded from the game. Which is as it should be.

There can be only one. Two casino proposals from Cordish Gaming and Penn National have been forwarded to the Kansas Lottery Gaming Facility Review Board (Uff da!) for final arbitration, Remember that the last time we went through this, Penn got a whopping zero votes (probably due to a series of peevish public pronouncements), but then Cordish wanted to resubmit its project in smaller form.

This time around, Penn execs have been playing well with others, rather than trying to dictate the process. They're promising a three-phase, $564 million casino-resort (subject to certain economic conditions). Cordish is choosing to under-promise, committing only to a $390 million casino, at least until bluer skies return. Partnership with the Kansas Speedway still gives Cordish an edge (as does the Hard Rock brand) ... but the Kansas-casino process has been long, tortuous and filled with reversals of fortune. (Mike Ensign, anyone?)

Speaking of Kansas ... shoo-in Foxwoods has announced that it's restructuring its debt and enlisting outside assistance, yet another victim of ill-timed expansion. Small wonder Foxwoods and Lakes Entertainment decided to pool their pennies on Chisholm Creek Casino (above) rather than duke it out for the Wichita market.

Compromise is near. Down in Florida, that is. A formula too complicated to summarize here would bring the Seminole Tribe and the Sunshine State's Lege into agreement. (The Seminoles took one look at the compact fashioned by the Lege last spring and spat it out like bad food.) In return for accepting some restrictions on game offerings at some casinos, the Seminoles get a complete exemption from paying taxes to the state -- if private-sector gambling spreads beyond Broward and Miami-Dade counties. And if existing non-tribal casinos get, say, blackjack the Seminoles' obligation to the state is halved.

So tell me, why does Sheldon Adelson seriously think Florida is a potential growth market?

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Second-quarter results from Boyd Gaming and Ameristar Casinos gave continued reason to be sanguine about each company. Both reported profits (12 cents per share at Boyd, double that at Ameristar) and both missed their revenue targets by an aggregate of only $8 million. A whopping (27%) jump in Colorado revenues for Ameristar last month was additional reason for confidence, offsetting weakness in Kansas City.

Cost control was credited with helping Boyd's performance, as was much-better-than-expected cash flow at Borgata. The Las Vegas locals market also ran ahead of expectations in that regard, while downtown and the Midwest/South casinos lagged. Bankruptcy filing or no, Boyd maintains that it continues to be a suitor for Station Casinos. Oh, and keeping Echelon mothballed -- while the least expensive of alternatives -- isn't cheap, costing Boyd $3 million a month.

MGM Mirage has sent LVA a revised, official list of dates for the debut of the various bits and pieces of CityCenter. (Excepted, of course, is the Harmon[ini] which, as of last Wednesday, had no firmer opening date than "late 2010.") The openings are as follows:

Vdara (Dec. 1); Crystals (Dec. 3); Mandarin Oriental (Dec. 4); Aria (Dec. 16), while condo closings in Veer Towers are set to "begin in January." When MGM gave a CityCenter dog-and-pony show to the Nevada Hospitality & Lodging Association last week, the computer graphics still showed Baldwin's Bump at its original, 48-story height. Also, the bluish tint that denoted CityCenter's acreage, by quirk or design, extended to embrace the Cosmopolitan. A portent?

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While everybody's been focusing on the implosion of Station Casinos, the analysts at J.P. Morgan snuck out one of the more unusual (and entertaining) reports I've ever come across. They pored over Penn's 2Q09 filing and had some tales to tell.

The lead was that Penn was falling short of its cash-flow targets for the quarter. That musn't have been a complete surprise, given the incapacitation of Empress Joliet and the swapping out of one Lawrenceburg riverboat for another. However, there was trouble in River City, with Morgan analysts noting "an unexpected spike in large employee medical catastrophic claims at that [Lawrenceburg] property (bizarre), and 4) a less than productive new marketing program at Charlestown (marketing at Charlestown?) that did not produce incremental revs, but increased costs." The medical claims alone were a $1 million black eye.

They counseled against heading for the lifeboats, though, and pointed out that Penn has $795 million in cash in the till. (Do I hear an offer for Beau Rivage?) Morgan is also bullish on Penn's expansion prospects in Kansas (really?), Ohio and Maryland.

There was even some good news for competitor Ameristar Casinos, thanks to continued troubles at Harrah's Entertainment. Wrote the Morgans team: "Harrah's has not increased its promotional activity (comps, spending, reinvestment)," boding well for everyone else.

As Morgan reported earlier this month, Harrah's was -18% in Louisiana in June, by far the worst decline of any operator in the market -- while Boyd Gaming notched a slight gain (but a major victory in that context). Just as I've expected from the start, Texas Pacific and Apollo (Mis)Management are nickel-and-diming Harrah's into the poorhouse.

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"We don't want them in there," huffs Ameristar Casinos' Troy Stremming (left) with regard to pathological gamblers. Stremming's high dudgeon rings a mite hollow now that the Missouri ballot initiative he crafted and shepherded to victory last fall is providing a free pass for problem gamblers. Once boarding requirements were repealed, away went the mechanism for screening self-banned gamblers. Whoops.

It's not like they still can't be caught on-property, though. Woe betide the player who hits a sufficiently big jackpot for his slot machine to go into "IRS lockdown." His identity has to be verified -- which means he can kiss those winnings goodbye and prepare to be handcuffed. To quote Geena Davis in Thelma & Louise, "The law is some tricky shit."

But Missouri's got nothing on Illinois, where casino employees double as "bounty hunters." If you're a self-banned player who's shooting dice at Alton Belle or Casino Queen, there's literally a price on your head.

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Continuing a trend of lower-than-projected returns across the Midwest, Iowa's riverboats were flat last month and racinos saw a 5% decline. All major operators lost ground but something is very wrong at Ameristar Casinos, whose Council Bluffs boat was way outside the margin, reporting a 15% decline from last year.

Over in Detroit, in the hardest-hit state in America, general economic collapse is finally eating into the casino bidness. With MGM Grand Detroit off 10% and Motor City down 3%, it took a 24% upward leap in revenues at recently expanded Greektown Casino (above) to keep the market on an even keel. With an 0.4% overall decline in dollars won, Detroit stays within the "flat" classification.

Good time to own IGT. Sitting upon Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn's desk is a bill that could swamp the state with as many as 77,000 video slot machines. As J.P. Morgan breaks down the particulars: "video gaming terminals may be placed in 1) licensed establishments (“any licensed retail establishment where alcoholic liquor is drawn, poured, mixed, or otherwise served for consumption on the premises”), 2) licensed truck stop establishments (“facility that is at least a 3-acre facility with a convenience store and with separate diesel islands and parking spaces for commercial motor vehicles”), 3) licensed fraternal establishments (“location where a qualified fraternal organization regularly meets”), and 4) licensed veterans establishments (“location where a qualified veterans organization regularly meets”)."

Morgan analysts take a less-alarmist position on this change, projecting that no more than 40,000 devices will be installed, over a two-year period starting next year. Still, they like the prospects of International Game Technology, which is predicted to snare 60% of the market, with another 30% equally divided between WMS Industries and Bally Technologies -- a bit of a snub to favorite son WMS, no?

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While the Bible Belt may hold out until the bitter end, we may finally be seeing the demise of the "boats in moats" arrangement, a fig leaf that enabled Midwestern states to blushingly accept casino money. Illinois has started phasing it out. Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland's decree today that seven Buckeye State racetracks can go to racino status may be a real game-changer for neighboring Indiana.

First, a word on the Strickland move. It anticipates legislative passage of a package deal that would require tracks to pay $65 million upfront and the usual usurious tax rate (48-50%). However ... slot machines would be purchased by the state (and run under the auspices of the Ohio Lottery), which softens some of the pain. Racino facilities would have to be periodically upgraded, too, at an average of $16 million/year.

All this has spurred (well, slowly prodded) Indiana's Lege to take a second look at the Hoosier State's riverboat regime. This could mean everything from on-land casinos to free drinks for players. There's also talk of "simplying" taxes and admission fees. How about simply eliminating the latter? It's a paternalistic anachronism that needs to go away.

Don Barden's two Majestic Star boats will likely prove an impediment. Some solons want any arrangement to include moving one of them out of Gary, Ind., to better the chances of both. Whatever the case, don't expect any action until next year.

The recession is catching up with regional casino markets. Even the loosening of operating rules in Missouri wasn't enough to stave off a slippage in revenues. Chrysler and Hummer plant shutdowns might explain a -1% shift in St. Louis, but what about a -2.5% June in Kansas City? A 2% drop in statewide slot win was almost countered by an 8% jump at the tables, where higher betting limits are now in force.

Ameristar Casinos took the hit in K.C., down 12%. All other three major boats posted growth, led by Isle of Capri, up 5%. With a $19 million June, the Ameristar boat still led the market in dollar volume but both Harrah's Entertainment and Penn National are closing the gap.

In the greater St. Louis area, both Harrah's and Ameristar fell by an average of 5%, while Pinnacle Entertainment's Lumiere Place gained almost 6%, really starting to give the two older casinos a battle. Even the snake-bitten President had a good month, chipping in nearly $2 million to Pinnacle's kitty.

Further good news came in the form of the bulletin that Isle of Capri had eked out a month in the "plus" column. So even an outwardly disappointing June in the Show-Me State cosseted some significant tidings of comfort and show.

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May wasn't great for Las Vegas, to say the least, with hotel occupancy -6%, a figure somewhat amplified by the presence of 3% more hotel rooms. The local ADR of $96.96 would have been regarded as real money back in the day. Hoteliers now are more likely to look at it in the context of the -28% shift from last year's rates. More worrisome is that convention attendance (-33%) outslid the number of conventions held (-26%), whereas it used to be the reverse.

Indiana has absorbed the effect of its two new racinos. Casino revenues were flat in June, a decline at most boats offset by the extra dollars generated at Harrah's Entertainment's Horseshoe Hammond (+13.5%) and Boyd Gaming's Blue Chip (+4%), both of which recently expanded. Penn National was hurt by the switchover to Hollywood Casino Lawrenceberg, its new vessel, and Ameristar East Chicago (-15%) withered under the glare of Horseshoe Hammond.

Illinois is scraping along, having evidently struck bottom ... for now. Once the impact of a fire-closed Empress Joliet was backed out, Illinois was down a mere 3%. That's practically a moral victory. Of course, with the institution of slot routes en route and the Lege contemplating a huge casino expansion in the state, any celebration will be short-lived. Harrah's Joliet was the logical beneficiary of the Empress Joliet shutdown (+5%), while MGM Mirage's Grand Victoria spiraled -17%.

There were a few gainers, ranging from miniscule (Boyd's Par-A-Dice) to massive (+109% at independent Casino Rock Island). East St. Louis-based Casino Queen finally lost a significant chunk of business (-11.5%) to its augmented Missouri rivals, while Penn's Alton Belle kept its leakage to -3%.

It's not a free market. Lawmakers in the Land of Lincoln have not only introduced slot routes, they may add four more casino licenses to the state. Factor in Neil Bluhm's casino project in Des Plaines (license #10), and the gambling market in Illinois becomes seriously diluted. However, no compensatory tax reduction is on the table.

When it comes to casinos and taxes, solons think simply that more = more. However, in a state where competition is limited by statute, not only does guvmint control the levers of the market place it has an obligation to take the economic consequences of its actions into account. This is not being done and the repercussions are likely to be severe.

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