"If C.C. Sabathia starts game one of the World Series, the Yankees will know they have won tonight." -- Fox Sports baseball analyst Tim McCarver, sinking to bathyspheric depths of belaboring the obvious, early in Sunday's game six of the ALCS. (The Yankees won and it probably won't take until Wednesday night for them to realize it.)

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Pardon a smallish digression from the world of games to something truly important ... baseball. With painful memories of the '04 and '05 postseason meltdowns acid-etched into my mind, I've not been able to summon the intestinal fortitude to watch either of the first two Red Sox/Angels games. (And postseason Angels games really take a toll on one's stomach.)

Now, with the Halos up 2-0, I'm wondering if it's safe to peek between my fingers as the series repairs to Fenway Park. My gut-twisting gut-level feeling is that this series goes the full five games, which is my recipe for pure torture. But ... Angels pitchers seemed to have conquered their fear of BoSox hitters and shut them down.

Besides, I've been wrong before about this team -- 1,000% wrong about Bobby Abreu, who's been a tremendous influence for the better. His superb plate discipline has been worlds away from the bizarre flailing of Vladimir Guerrero (which you can only get away with if you're Vlad and can lift a far-outside pitch over the fence in straightaway center). Patient at-bats were the key to the Angels' '02 World Series run, which made up for less-than-dominant starting pitching. If there's an Angels/Yankees ALCS, it'll be a contest to see who can take more pitches: a real tortoise-and-hare match.

At least the Angels and BoSox share a common adversary: the umpires. "Country" Joe West and C.B. Bucknor are showing yet again why they are two of the worst in MLB ... although seemingly every American League playoff game this year (including the Metrodome miniseries that finished the Detroit Tigers) has been plagued by truly craptacular umpiring and amazingly poor calls. If this were the NFL, these clowns would be relegated to working late-season Rams/Raiders games or some purgatorial equivalent.

Speaking of the Yanks, I can't hold out much hope for my old home team, the Minnesota Twins. All the Homer Hankies in the world aren't going to do it for a pitching staff that can't hold a lead against the Bronx Bombers, and it pains me to type that.

Thanks for your indulgence. We now return to our irregularly scheduled blogging. As soon as I find my Rally Monkeys, that is.

P.S.: It's a damnable shame that our server won't load previously unused images into the blogs. 'Cuz I've got a great Philly Phanatic photo that would be perfect should they make it to the Fall Classic.

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Only $14 million in cash (plus a $100 million equity infusion), according to The Donald. Bondholders say, we'll see your $115 million and raise you $100 million. The latter would recoup at least some -- but not very much -- of their $1.25 billion debt under their plan, while Das Trump would send them away virtually empty-handed. (Moral: When Donald Trump asks you for a loan, take a page from Nancy Reagan and Just Say No.)

The bondholders' assignment of a $75 million valuation to Trump Marina seems awfully optimistic for what is, in essence, a corpse that can't be sold. In essence, the real value proposition is resurgent Trump Taj Mahal, with the other two casinos scarcely better than throw-ins. The Marina is, if anything, an albatross around the company's neck. Still, given that CEO Mark Juliano is going to exceptional lengths to champion the Trumpster's bid, which is a big "screw you" to the debtholders, here's hoping Judge Judith H. Wizmur holds firm for a more responsible solution.

Ho: No! "I don't see major resorts opening for the next couple of years now," says Lawrence Ho. thereby raining pessimism on the expansion plans of Las Vegas Sands, Wynn Resorts and Galaxy Entertainment. The younger Ho also speculates upon the Chinese government's motivation for throttling, then somewhat relenting upon travel to Macao. Interesting tidbit: Marketwatch.com reports that "Venetian Sands" [sic] has cut its number of table games by 25%.

Nevada revenues in. And yeah, they suck. They're much less sucky than usual (-9%), showing an upward trend in baccarat plus two locals-oriented bright spots in the form of Aliante Station and M Resort. It's unclear, though, how much of the growth generated by the last two is new business vs. redistribution of dollars from elsewhere in the valley. The Sun's analysis is far more informative than that found in the R-J.

Wait 'til next year. That's the timeline for casinos in Massachusetts. Even though western Mass looks like slim pickings, lawmakers will probably have to put a casino there just to get the bill onto the floor.

Penn bid falls. Lenders to bankrupt Fontainebleau won a small victory or two, as the judge overseeing the case seems determined to keep lead developer Jeffrey Soffer as far from the disposition of F'bleau as possible. (Soffer is both a debtor and creditor on the project.)

F'bleau, for its part, revealed that Penn National Gaming's offer is now "substantially less" than $300 million, but would include money to replace the windows that are reportedly falling off the building. (One more reason not to build a Strip megaresort tower flush against the "pedestrian realm.")

Groundbreaking today for the long-awaited SugarHouse casino in Philadelphia, under the shadow of a stick-it-to-SugarHouse tax that's been proposed in the Lege. Table games, meanwhile, might be off the table in the face of a $200 million lawsuit. You see, non-racino casinos are allowed to have 5,000 slots (in return for a $50 million fee). Small "resort" casinos -- known as "Category 3" -- only have to $5 million and get 500 slots (accessible only to guests). That's proportional, obviously, and seems fair.

However ... lawmakers want to tilt the playing field by giving Category 3 casinos 30% as many slots as, say, Rivers Casino or SugarHouse, instead of 10% ... and open those games to the general public, not just guests. Of course, the state can't go to the one existing Category 3 casino and ask for another $10 million -- can it? Casino operators are also solidly behind the GOP position on table games: $10 million upfront plus a 12% tax. But, unless House Dems completely capitulate, the gaming bosses are unlikely to get what they want, at least where the tax rate is concerned.

Penn whiffs again. Although Penn Nat'l was supposed to be a bidder in the bankruptcy auction for the Lone Star Park racino, it evidently didn't get into the action and the track went to the Chickasaw Nation for $27 million. (A lot less than Harrah's Entertainment paid to get into Ohio.)

Which means that if/when gambling is legitimized in Texas, the Chickasaws will have a double advantage (parimutuel + tribal status), while Penn will be looking at yet another missed opportunity. Penn's corporate strategy is a baffling alternation of rashness and hyper-caution.

In other tribal news, much-criticized National Indian Gaming Commission Chairman Phil Hogen is gone, thank God, and with him his new, more-restrictive Class II rules. Hogen was justly pilloried for attempting a rollback of hard-won gains in what games tribes could offer. His new rules reflected Bush administration paternalism toward tribes and while they're officially postponed for a year, I think it's safe to say they're dead.* No wonder Rep. Dan Boren (D-OK) is smiling. Watch out for that doorknob, Mister (Ex-)Chairman.

(* It's probable the same thing would have happened under a President McCain, as either candidate would have brought a more enlightened attitude to D.C.-tribal relationships.)

Supporters of video gambling are starting to push back in Illinois, at least in rural, conservative McHenry County. So far it's been the urban areas where this expansion of gambling hasn't been gaining traction.

A repeal of UIGEA continues to gain ground in the House of Representatives, even if it got pulled off the floor in the Senate. (Thanks for nothing, Harry Reid.) The money quote, literally, is a reference to an amendment Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA) which would would specify that "corporate taxes owed on regulated Internet gambling activities are collected, as they currently are from the land-based casino industry." [emphasis added]

If that means what it implies, it would remove the spectre of industry-wide federal gambling taxation from the discussion and leave taxation to the states. If not, then the nose of the federal casino-tax camel is still sticking through the legislative tent. And you know where that leads.

We've seen a nationwide gaming tax get shot down during the Clinton administration but there are desperate times, obviously. Republicans like Mike Huckabee and Rep. Steve King (R-IA) have been looking to sock it to casinos at the federal level for some years now, so I fear it could have bipartisan support, should such a debate come to pass.

It's playoff time. A tired, flat-footed Minnesota Twins squad looked positively dreaful last night, flailing at outside pitches from C.C. Sabathia (if you couldn't reach that slider in the first inning, your arms aren't going to be any longer in the seventh, son). Cliff Lee made short work of the Colorado Rockies (besides, Jim Tracy can't win in the postseason), the St. Louis Cardinals look set to continue their tradition of postseason underperformance and my Anaheim Angels are forever reduced to a quivering heap of Jello in playoff games against the Boston Red Sox. Why am I having visions of brooms? 

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Meet Wilbur Ross. He's an investor of all trades with an appetite for distressed assets. And he's turning his sights to the casino industry. In particular, he's drawn a bead on "companies [who] are also looking at selling assets in the Chinese gambling enclave of Macau to support struggling operations in Las Vegas."

That means either Las Vegas Sands or MGM Mirage, and it's old news that Sheldon Adelson has been peddling a couple of retail malls and the non-casino aspects of Sands Macao (above). MGM is attempting a reboot (successful so far) of MGM Grand Macau but still might come up short on completion money for CityCenter, especially if condo prices have to be reduced. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that one Macanese casino beats any number of hotel rooms or retail outlets.

Un-Trumped? Thwarted Trump Marina suitor Richard Fields is making another run at the property, which he's been trying to buy since Homer was a pup. Better still for him, he could get it for as little as $75 million. However, he's got dark-horse competition from a Maryland-based private equity fund that's making a play for all three of the Trump Entertainment Resorts casinos.

Notorious for mainly hanging its corporate shingle in tax-haven Green Valley, would-be casino operator Empire Resorts is not only re-headquartered in New York State, it's got new partners. Some of them bring checkered pasts to the table.

Also, Empire's hopes hinge upon the current administration reversing an especially paternalistic ruling from the George W. Bush years: namely, that casino sites must be within commuting distance of the tribal owners' -- in this case the St. Regis Mohawks -- reservations. If economic self-sufficiency is the endgame of federal/policy, Uncle Sam needs to loosen the apron strings.

Unready for some football. The unceremonious scrapping of Monday Night Football events at The Cannery is explained (second item). Magic word: clearance. Columnist John Katsilometes also notes that the second weekend of Zowie Bowie's Vintage Vegas was better than the first. Which would mean it's graduated from "bad" to "mediocre."

New England moralists are apparently OK with slot machines in Rhode Island, so long as they're covered by the fig leaf of mandatory greyhound racing. At least the slot players have a chance of actually catching the rabbit, metaphorically speaking. Animal cruelty is bad enough but when it's enshrined in state law it's even more objectionable, if such a thing is possible.

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Galaxy Theatres' multiplex at The Cannery has scrapped all its big-screen showings of Monday Night Football, it was announced today, one week into the NFL season. Perhaps the incessant jabbering of Jon Gruden sent patrons screaming out onto the casino floor.

"Historic Announcement" at Trop: New CEO Alex Yemenidjian has booked a press conference on Wednesday morning with a "Special Guest" who represents an "exciting new partnership" in the entertainment sphere. It's the worst-kept secret in Vegas that Mr. Special Guest is better known as blogger Chuck Monster's least-favorite Strip headliner, Wayne F. Newton.

Also, the Sahara is (finally!) pulling the plug on Larry Marshak's ersatz Platters/Coasters/Marvelettes revue. Alas, the last act in this shameful saga of exploitation has yet to play out. The Marshak troupe will actually move up the Strip food chain, to Planet Hollywood. However, its new home is the Wyrick Entertainment Complex, otherwise known as the "Venue of Death." If that doesn't kill the show, nothing will.

Well that's ... weird: The Las Vegas Sun's Brendan Buhler reports that waitresses at Monte Carlo's lounge within the Dragon Noodle Co. restaurant "are dressed as characters from Japanese animé cartoons, a hobby known as cosplay." This strikes Buhler as odd because the U.S. cosplay cosmos is dominated by teens and pre-teens, and is "geeky." (He said it, I didn't.) He likens it to a Miley Cyrus-themed nightclub, before noting that the uniforms resemble "schoolgirl outfits."

Which would explain a lot.

Eight isn't enough. Yet another GOP challenger enters the lists against Sen. "Hapless Harry" Reid (D-NV). Just FYI.

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Most of us hew to the standard English-language definition of "fixation" (as in "I have a sudden fixation with actresss Crystal Chappell"). However, in Cirque du Soleil-speak, "fixation" means "damage repair." To wit: Criss F. Angel vehicle Believe has been in need of fixation since before it opened. (Only Crazy Girls and Steve Wyrick get lower ratings from LVA members.)

It's nigh upon 11 months since Believe was foisted upon an eagerly skeptical Las Vegas and apparently, the "fixation" process still drags on within the catacombs of Luxor. Or not. Whatever the case, Cirque du Stuck on Themselves ain't tellin', not even to the Los Angeles Times.

Two thoughts: If the show's problems are so intractable they take nearly a year to "fixate," why not just bag it? Also, if what Cirque is presenting is a work in progress, ought not Believe to charge consumers a "price in progress"? Like, oh maybe $15/person to see Mr. Angel and his Cirque enablers try to figure out what the hell kind of show they want to do?

While I don't share Richard Abowitz's enthusiasm for Zumanity (for me, it's a show about sex that's staged by eunuchs). Ka is awe-inspiring and Mystere is enjoyable if you have a very high tolerance for whimsy. But it is with masterly understatement that Abowitz writes, "Cirque can be pretentious on stage and in the corporate culture."

Guy Laliberté's cosmic dream, our nightmare

Scarily, he reveals that head Cirque jerque Guy Laliberté is planning to spread coulrophobia to the cosmos. Is no place safe from putty-nosed clowns? Can't they accidentally-on-purpose open the airlock when Pennywise is trying to juggle in zero gravity or whatever Laliberté has in mind? (Given the reports of Laliberté's heterosexual athleticism, I have my suspicions as to what he really wants to experiment upon in zero G's.)

On the subject of ass-clownery, this takes the cake. I guess he believes "If you haven't been bookmarked, re-Tweeted and blogged/You might as well not have existed."

Adios, Charo? Moving further up the Strip, Abowitz speculates that an ankle sprain may provide the excuse for the Riviera to draw the curtain on Charo in Concert. (I accidentally typed "Charon." A Freudian slip?) Even reliably everything-is-better-than-ever Robin Leach concurs. Who'd have thought that, back when I reviewed Charo's show for CityLife, in tandem with Ali Spuck's cabaret act, that two months later, the plucky Ms. Spuck would be the one -- pardon the pun -- still standing?

Since the flamenco-guitar portion of Charo's show was a bit light on content (five songs), the Riv could have turned lemons into lemonade by working in more guitar and less coochi-coochi. But evidently not. But don't despair, guys. The Riv's still got Scarlett, Princess of Magic and her red bikini.

In an unrelated rumor, Tony 'n Tina's Wedding is alleged to be halfway out the door at Planet Hollywood. That always seemed a mismatch of show and venue; it will surely pop up somewhere else (LVA members give it our highest rating), should the rumor turn out to be true.

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Reader herbop reports on the latest thrift move by Tamares Group: "While other Downtown hotels are installing in-room safes, and removing complaint-causing daily fees for same, the Vegas Club Hotel has pulled out the installed safes from its rooms. When I inquired, they said it's 'policy.' Guests can still use the casino's safe deposit boxes.

"They left the four bolt-holes in the wall, unpatched. Classy, right?"

Geez, I hope those German G2E attendees opted for the Plaza over the Vegas Club. Nice work, Tamares. Why don't you strip the copper out of the place and sell it on the black market while you're at it? (Whoops, we probably shouldn't give Pojo Z. and his flunkies any ideas.)

Kickoff time. Since NFL season finally draws nigh (after what seems like five months of preseason games), it's probably worth mentioning LVA Sports. It includes a directory of football contests, pigskin parties and team bars in the Vegas area. There are no fewer than 12 watering holes allied to Da Bears but only half that number for Packer Backers.

Tennessee Titans fans will just have to drink their beer at home, because our staff couldn't locate any Titan-affiliated bars. Ditto Tilman Fertitta's Houston Texans. Even the ever-putrid Oakland Raiders have three bars to their credit -- but getting to last year's Super Bowl still only netted one Vegas hangout for Arizona Cardinals fans. Go figure.

Don't pop the champagne for stalled Boardwalk resort Revel just yet. The latter has issued a clarification stating that China Construction Engineering Corp. only has a potential agreement in place to finish Revel, for which the resort must drum up funding later this year. Also, yesterday I misstated the opening date as "July 11" when I meant to type "July 2011." I regret the error.

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"You have no idea what you're talking about at all." -- Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson, speaking for millions of Americans this morning. The subject? ESPN buffoon-in-residence Skip Bayless. (I'm convinced that the only reason ESPN keeps Bayless around is because his ignorant proclamations generate such a heavy volume of hate mail.)

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Watched as much as I could stand of Monday Night Football and don't know or care who won. However, somebody should start an over/under on how many words ESPN will allow Ron Jaworski to say during a game. As I fear, MNF newcomer Jon Gruden Would.Not.Shut.Up. "Jaws" was virtually benched while rookie Gruden got all the snaps.

As though Gruden's stentorian, mike-hogging, sandpaper-on-eardrums voice were not tiresome enough, play-by-play man Mike Tirico practically fellated "Chuckie" on air. "Jon, how did you know when ... ?" "Jon, why is it that ... ?" (Never mind several verbal tributes Gruden paid to his own gridiron perspicacity.) Unfortunately, the oleaginous Tirico did not -- to my knowledge -- ask, "Jon, how did it feel to get your ass fired by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?" Or perhaps, "Jon, do you realize how obnoxious you are and that this why is you have so many enemies in the NFL?"

Sigh. I miss Tony Kornheiser. Hell, I'd even be willing to put up with John Madden again. I'm that desperate. And it'd keep Frank Caliendo in business, which is never a bad thing.

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Had the Nevada Gaming Control Board not come down upon Planet Hollywood like a hod of bricks, it's entirely probable that Privé would still be up to its scofflaw antics. That's because Clark County has a long history of looking the other way or, at most, administering the occasional love-tap on the wrist. But when Gaming Control lays down a half-million-buck fine, it's kind of hard for Clark County Manager Virginia Valentine's crew to keep their heads in the sand, pretending to be invisible.

Hence the revocation of Privé's license, quickly restored once the Titanic deck chairs were rearranged and the vessel rechristened the Lusitania. I feel much better now, don't you? (It should be noted that there's a sizeable constituency in Las Vegas that thinks the county and NGCB should turn a blind eye and laissesz les bon temps roulez. Hey, why don't we bring back bribery, too? If those officials are going to be ignoring the laws they're charged with enforcing, shouldn't they be compensated for it?)

Kudos to the ever-clever management of Cannery Casino Resorts. They've struck a deal with ESPN to allow simulcast of Monday Night Football on Galaxy Theaters' giant DMAX screen at the original Cannery. The festivities begin on Sept. 14 with a Bills/Patriots and Chargers/Raiders doubleheader. (OK, the nightcap sounds like a real dog, but MNF doesn't get the pick of the litter since moving to cable.)

A 60-foot-tall Terrell Owens? Scary! More worrisome still: Will egomaniac Jon Gruden hog the mike this season, elbowing aside co-analyst Ron Jaworski? Nobody breaks down a play like "Jaws" but will "Chucky" let him get a word in edgewise?

Steve Wynn must be getting a little apprehensive about how Labor Commissioner Michael Tanchek's long-running hearings on tip confiscation will play out. Wynn's benched the able Gregory Kamer, as well as Wynn Resorts' in-house counsel, in favor of Beltway attorney Eugene Scalia. And, yes, his dad is that Scalia. (Does anybody else think the Bush administration passed over Scalia Sr. for Chief Justice in favor of John Roberts because he -- unlike Roberts -- was too contentious to forge majority rulings? Just me? OK.)

Wait Until Dark (@ CSN) obtains tepid praise from the R-J. I saw it last Friday. What's my verdict? Tune in tomorrow!

There's only one Native American currently serving on the federal bench. Might Nevada make it two? Vito de la Cruz, S&G hopes you receive due consideration.

Economic parable: Once upon a time there were two thrift stores in my neighborhood. One, run by Catholic Charities, sold good merchandise. The other, Goodwill, peddled garbage. Guess which one went out of business? It's like the nonprofit version of the Walmart saga.

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