David Mckee's Stiffs & Georges - Sports

Quote of the Day

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:02:00 -0700

"If C.C. Sabathia starts game one of the World Series, the Yankees will know they have won tonight." -- Fox Sports baseball analyst Tim McCarver, sinking to bathyspheric depths of belaboring the obvious, early in Sunday's game six of the ALCS. (The Yankees won and it probably won't take until Wednesday night for them to realize it.)

Oh me of little faith

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 16:40:00 -0700

Pardon a smallish digression from the world of games to something truly important ... baseball. With painful memories of the '04 and '05 postseason meltdowns acid-etched into my mind, I've not been able to summon the intestinal fortitude to watch either of the first two Red Sox/Angels games. (And postseason Angels games really take a toll on one's stomach.)

Now, with the Halos up 2-0, I'm wondering if it's safe to peek between my fingers as the series repairs to Fenway Park. My gut-twisting gut-level feeling is that this series goes the full five games, which is my recipe for pure torture. But ... Angels pitchers seemed to have conquered their fear of BoSox hitters and shut them down.

Besides, I've been wrong before about this team -- 1,000% wrong about Bobby Abreu, who's been a tremendous influence for the better. His superb plate discipline has been worlds away from the bizarre flailing of Vladimir Guerrero (which you can only get away with if you're Vlad and can lift a far-outside pitch over the fence in straightaway center). Patient at-bats were the key to the Angels' '02 World Series run, which made up for less-than-dominant starting pitching. If there's an Angels/Yankees ALCS, it'll be a contest to see who can take more pitches: a real tortoise-and-hare match.

At least the Angels and BoSox share a common adversary: the umpires. "Country" Joe West and C.B. Bucknor are showing yet again why they are two of the worst in MLB ... although seemingly every American League playoff game this year (including the Metrodome miniseries that finished the Detroit Tigers) has been plagued by truly craptacular umpiring and amazingly poor calls. If this were the NFL, these clowns would be relegated to working late-season Rams/Raiders games or some purgatorial equivalent.

Speaking of the Yanks, I can't hold out much hope for my old home team, the Minnesota Twins. All the Homer Hankies in the world aren't going to do it for a pitching staff that can't hold a lead against the Bronx Bombers, and it pains me to type that.

Thanks for your indulgence. We now return to our irregularly scheduled blogging. As soon as I find my Rally Monkeys, that is.

P.S.: It's a damnable shame that our server won't load previously unused images into the blogs. 'Cuz I've got a great Philly Phanatic photo that would be perfect should they make it to the Fall Classic.

What's a Trump casino worth?

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 15:07:00 -0700

Only $14 million in cash (plus a $100 million equity infusion), according to The Donald. Bondholders say, we'll see your $115 million and raise you $100 million. The latter would recoup at least some -- but not very much -- of their $1.25 billion debt under their plan, while Das Trump would send them away virtually empty-handed. (Moral: When Donald Trump asks you for a loan, take a page from Nancy Reagan and Just Say No.)

The bondholders' assignment of a $75 million valuation to Trump Marina seems awfully optimistic for what is, in essence, a corpse that can't be sold. In essence, the real value proposition is resurgent Trump Taj Mahal, with the other two casinos scarcely better than throw-ins. The Marina is, if anything, an albatross around the company's neck. Still, given that CEO Mark Juliano is going to exceptional lengths to champion the Trumpster's bid, which is a big "screw you" to the debtholders, here's hoping Judge Judith H. Wizmur holds firm for a more responsible solution.

Ho: No! "I don't see major resorts opening for the next couple of years now," says Lawrence Ho. thereby raining pessimism on the expansion plans of Las Vegas Sands, Wynn Resorts and Galaxy Entertainment. The younger Ho also speculates upon the Chinese government's motivation for throttling, then somewhat relenting upon travel to Macao. Interesting tidbit: Marketwatch.com reports that "Venetian Sands" [sic] has cut its number of table games by 25%.

Nevada revenues in. And yeah, they suck. They're much less sucky than usual (-9%), showing an upward trend in baccarat plus two locals-oriented bright spots in the form of Aliante Station and M Resort. It's unclear, though, how much of the growth generated by the last two is new business vs. redistribution of dollars from elsewhere in the valley. The Sun's analysis is far more informative than that found in the R-J.

Wait 'til next year. That's the timeline for casinos in Massachusetts. Even though western Mass looks like slim pickings, lawmakers will probably have to put a casino there just to get the bill onto the floor.

Penn bid falls. Lenders to bankrupt Fontainebleau won a small victory or two, as the judge overseeing the case seems determined to keep lead developer Jeffrey Soffer as far from the disposition of F'bleau as possible. (Soffer is both a debtor and creditor on the project.)

F'bleau, for its part, revealed that Penn National Gaming's offer is now "substantially less" than $300 million, but would include money to replace the windows that are reportedly falling off the building. (One more reason not to build a Strip megaresort tower flush against the "pedestrian realm.")

Groundbreaking today for the long-awaited SugarHouse casino in Philadelphia, under the shadow of a stick-it-to-SugarHouse tax that's been proposed in the Lege. Table games, meanwhile, might be off the table in the face of a $200 million lawsuit. You see, non-racino casinos are allowed to have 5,000 slots (in return for a $50 million fee). Small "resort" casinos -- known as "Category 3" -- only have to $5 million and get 500 slots (accessible only to guests). That's proportional, obviously, and seems fair.

However ... lawmakers want to tilt the playing field by giving Category 3 casinos 30% as many slots as, say, Rivers Casino or SugarHouse, instead of 10% ... and open those games to the general public, not just guests. Of course, the state can't go to the one existing Category 3 casino and ask for another $10 million -- can it? Casino operators are also solidly behind the GOP position on table games: $10 million upfront plus a 12% tax. But, unless House Dems completely capitulate, the gaming bosses are unlikely to get what they want, at least where the tax rate is concerned.

Penn whiffs again. Although Penn Nat'l was supposed to be a bidder in the bankruptcy auction for the Lone Star Park racino, it evidently didn't get into the action and the track went to the Chickasaw Nation for $27 million. (A lot less than Harrah's Entertainment paid to get into Ohio.)

Which means that if/when gambling is legitimized in Texas, the Chickasaws will have a double advantage (parimutuel + tribal status), while Penn will be looking at yet another missed opportunity. Penn's corporate strategy is a baffling alternation of rashness and hyper-caution.

In other tribal news, much-criticized National Indian Gaming Commission Chairman Phil Hogen is gone, thank God, and with him his new, more-restrictive Class II rules. Hogen was justly pilloried for attempting a rollback of hard-won gains in what games tribes could offer. His new rules reflected Bush administration paternalism toward tribes and while they're officially postponed for a year, I think it's safe to say they're dead.* No wonder Rep. Dan Boren (D-OK) is smiling. Watch out for that doorknob, Mister (Ex-)Chairman.

(* It's probable the same thing would have happened under a President McCain, as either candidate would have brought a more enlightened attitude to D.C.-tribal relationships.)

Supporters of video gambling are starting to push back in Illinois, at least in rural, conservative McHenry County. So far it's been the urban areas where this expansion of gambling hasn't been gaining traction.

A repeal of UIGEA continues to gain ground in the House of Representatives, even if it got pulled off the floor in the Senate. (Thanks for nothing, Harry Reid.) The money quote, literally, is a reference to an amendment Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA) which would would specify that "corporate taxes owed on regulated Internet gambling activities are collected, as they currently are from the land-based casino industry." [emphasis added]

If that means what it implies, it would remove the spectre of industry-wide federal gambling taxation from the discussion and leave taxation to the states. If not, then the nose of the federal casino-tax camel is still sticking through the legislative tent. And you know where that leads.

We've seen a nationwide gaming tax get shot down during the Clinton administration but there are desperate times, obviously. Republicans like Mike Huckabee and Rep. Steve King (R-IA) have been looking to sock it to casinos at the federal level for some years now, so I fear it could have bipartisan support, should such a debate come to pass.

It's playoff time. A tired, flat-footed Minnesota Twins squad looked positively dreaful last night, flailing at outside pitches from C.C. Sabathia (if you couldn't reach that slider in the first inning, your arms aren't going to be any longer in the seventh, son). Cliff Lee made short work of the Colorado Rockies (besides, Jim Tracy can't win in the postseason), the St. Louis Cardinals look set to continue their tradition of postseason underperformance and my Anaheim Angels are forever reduced to a quivering heap of Jello in playoff games against the Boston Red Sox. Why am I having visions of brooms?

Adelson's rescuer?

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:01:00 -0700

Meet Wilbur Ross. He's an investor of all trades with an appetite for distressed assets. And he's turning his sights to the casino industry. In particular, he's drawn a bead on "companies [who] are also looking at selling assets in the Chinese gambling enclave of Macau to support struggling operations in Las Vegas."

That means either Las Vegas Sands or MGM Mirage, and it's old news that Sheldon Adelson has been peddling a couple of retail malls and the non-casino aspects of Sands Macao (above). MGM is attempting a reboot (successful so far) of MGM Grand Macau but still might come up short on completion money for CityCenter, especially if condo prices have to be reduced. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that one Macanese casino beats any number of hotel rooms or retail outlets.

Un-Trumped? Thwarted Trump Marina suitor Richard Fields is making another run at the property, which he's been trying to buy since Homer was a pup. Better still for him, he could get it for as little as $75 million. However, he's got dark-horse competition from a Maryland-based private equity fund that's making a play for all three of the Trump Entertainment Resorts casinos.

Notorious for mainly hanging its corporate shingle in tax-haven Green Valley, would-be casino operator Empire Resorts is not only re-headquartered in New York State, it's got new partners. Some of them bring checkered pasts to the table.

Also, Empire's hopes hinge upon the current administration reversing an especially paternalistic ruling from the George W. Bush years: namely, that casino sites must be within commuting distance of the tribal owners' -- in this case the St. Regis Mohawks -- reservations. If economic self-sufficiency is the endgame of federal/policy, Uncle Sam needs to loosen the apron strings.

Unready for some football. The unceremonious scrapping of Monday Night Football events at The Cannery is explained (second item). Magic word: clearance. Columnist John Katsilometes also notes that the second weekend of Zowie Bowie's Vintage Vegas was better than the first. Which would mean it's graduated from "bad" to "mediocre."

New England moralists are apparently OK with slot machines in Rhode Island, so long as they're covered by the fig leaf of mandatory greyhound racing. At least the slot players have a chance of actually catching the rabbit, metaphorically speaking. Animal cruelty is bad enough but when it's enshrined in state law it's even more objectionable, if such a thing is possible.

Are you ready for some football? No!

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:45:00 -0700

Galaxy Theatres' multiplex at The Cannery has scrapped all its big-screen showings of Monday Night Football, it was announced today, one week into the NFL season. Perhaps the incessant jabbering of Jon Gruden sent patrons screaming out onto the casino floor.

"Historic Announcement" at Trop: New CEO Alex Yemenidjian has booked a press conference on Wednesday morning with a "Special Guest" who represents an "exciting new partnership" in the entertainment sphere. It's the worst-kept secret in Vegas that Mr. Special Guest is better known as blogger Chuck Monster's least-favorite Strip headliner, Wayne F. Newton.

Also, the Sahara is (finally!) pulling the plug on Larry Marshak's ersatz Platters/Coasters/Marvelettes revue. Alas, the last act in this shameful saga of exploitation has yet to play out. The Marshak troupe will actually move up the Strip food chain, to Planet Hollywood. However, its new home is the Wyrick Entertainment Complex, otherwise known as the "Venue of Death." If that doesn't kill the show, nothing will.

Well that's ... weird: The Las Vegas Sun's Brendan Buhler reports that waitresses at Monte Carlo's lounge within the Dragon Noodle Co. restaurant "are dressed as characters from Japanese animé cartoons, a hobby known as cosplay." This strikes Buhler as odd because the U.S. cosplay cosmos is dominated by teens and pre-teens, and is "geeky." (He said it, I didn't.) He likens it to a Miley Cyrus-themed nightclub, before noting that the uniforms resemble "schoolgirl outfits."

Which would explain a lot.

Eight isn't enough. Yet another GOP challenger enters the lists against Sen. "Hapless Harry" Reid (D-NV). Just FYI.

Do not resuscitate?

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:01:00 -0700

Most of us hew to the standard English-language definition of "fixation" (as in "I have a sudden fixation with actresss Crystal Chappell"). However, in Cirque du Soleil-speak, "fixation" means "damage repair." To wit: Criss F. Angel vehicle Believe has been in need of fixation since before it opened. (Only Crazy Girls and Steve Wyrick get lower ratings from LVA members.)

It's nigh upon 11 months since Believe was foisted upon an eagerly skeptical Las Vegas and apparently, the "fixation" process still drags on within the catacombs of Luxor. Or not. Whatever the case, Cirque du Stuck on Themselves ain't tellin', not even to the Los Angeles Times.

Two thoughts: If the show's problems are so intractable they take nearly a year to "fixate," why not just bag it? Also, if what Cirque is presenting is a work in progress, ought not Believe to charge consumers a "price in progress"? Like, oh maybe $15/person to see Mr. Angel and his Cirque enablers try to figure out what the hell kind of show they want to do?

While I don't share Richard Abowitz's enthusiasm for Zumanity (for me, it's a show about sex that's staged by eunuchs). Ka is awe-inspiring and Mystere is enjoyable if you have a very high tolerance for whimsy. But it is with masterly understatement that Abowitz writes, "Cirque can be pretentious on stage and in the corporate culture."

Guy Laliberté's cosmic dream, our nightmare

Scarily, he reveals that head Cirque jerque Guy Laliberté is planning to spread coulrophobia to the cosmos. Is no place safe from putty-nosed clowns? Can't they accidentally-on-purpose open the airlock when Pennywise is trying to juggle in zero gravity or whatever Laliberté has in mind? (Given the reports of Laliberté's heterosexual athleticism, I have my suspicions as to what he really wants to experiment upon in zero G's.)

On the subject of ass-clownery, this takes the cake. I guess he believes "If you haven't been bookmarked, re-Tweeted and blogged/You might as well not have existed."

Adios, Charo? Moving further up the Strip, Abowitz speculates that an ankle sprain may provide the excuse for the Riviera to draw the curtain on Charo in Concert. (I accidentally typed "Charon." A Freudian slip?) Even reliably everything-is-better-than-ever Robin Leach concurs. Who'd have thought that, back when I reviewed Charo's show for CityLife, in tandem with Ali Spuck's cabaret act, that two months later, the plucky Ms. Spuck would be the one -- pardon the pun -- still standing?

Since the flamenco-guitar portion of Charo's show was a bit light on content (five songs), the Riv could have turned lemons into lemonade by working in more guitar and less coochi-coochi. But evidently not. But don't despair, guys. The Riv's still got Scarlett, Princess of Magic and her red bikini.

In an unrelated rumor, Tony 'n Tina's Wedding is alleged to be halfway out the door at Planet Hollywood. That always seemed a mismatch of show and venue; it will surely pop up somewhere else (LVA members give it our highest rating), should the rumor turn out to be true.

From the mailbag #5: Vegas Club, football, Atlantic CIty

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:07:00 -0700

Reader herbop reports on the latest thrift move by Tamares Group: "While other Downtown hotels are installing in-room safes, and removing complaint-causing daily fees for same, the Vegas Club Hotel has pulled out the installed safes from its rooms. When I inquired, they said it's 'policy.' Guests can still use the casino's safe deposit boxes.

"They left the four bolt-holes in the wall, unpatched. Classy, right?"

Geez, I hope those German G2E attendees opted for the Plaza over the Vegas Club. Nice work, Tamares. Why don't you strip the copper out of the place and sell it on the black market while you're at it? (Whoops, we probably shouldn't give Pojo Z. and his flunkies any ideas.)

Kickoff time. Since NFL season finally draws nigh (after what seems like five months of preseason games), it's probably worth mentioning LVA Sports. It includes a directory of football contests, pigskin parties and team bars in the Vegas area. There are no fewer than 12 watering holes allied to Da Bears but only half that number for Packer Backers.

Tennessee Titans fans will just have to drink their beer at home, because our staff couldn't locate any Titan-affiliated bars. Ditto Tilman Fertitta's Houston Texans. Even the ever-putrid Oakland Raiders have three bars to their credit -- but getting to last year's Super Bowl still only netted one Vegas hangout for Arizona Cardinals fans. Go figure.

Don't pop the champagne for stalled Boardwalk resort Revel just yet. The latter has issued a clarification stating that China Construction Engineering Corp. only has a potential agreement in place to finish Revel, for which the resort must drum up funding later this year. Also, yesterday I misstated the opening date as "July 11" when I meant to type "July 2011." I regret the error.

Quote of the Day

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 10:57:00 -0700

"You have no idea what you're talking about at all." -- Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson, speaking for millions of Americans this morning. The subject? ESPN buffoon-in-residence Skip Bayless. (I'm convinced that the only reason ESPN keeps Bayless around is because his ignorant proclamations generate such a heavy volume of hate mail.)

Monday Night Foot-in-Mouthball

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:51:00 -0700

Watched as much as I could stand of Monday Night Football and don't know or care who won. However, somebody should start an over/under on how many words ESPN will allow Ron Jaworski to say during a game. As I fear, MNF newcomer Jon Gruden Would.Not.Shut.Up. "Jaws" was virtually benched while rookie Gruden got all the snaps.

As though Gruden's stentorian, mike-hogging, sandpaper-on-eardrums voice were not tiresome enough, play-by-play man Mike Tirico practically fellated "Chuckie" on air. "Jon, how did you know when ... ?" "Jon, why is it that ... ?" (Never mind several verbal tributes Gruden paid to his own gridiron perspicacity.) Unfortunately, the oleaginous Tirico did not -- to my knowledge -- ask, "Jon, how did it feel to get your ass fired by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?" Or perhaps, "Jon, do you realize how obnoxious you are and that this why is you have so many enemies in the NFL?"

Sigh. I miss Tony Kornheiser. Hell, I'd even be willing to put up with John Madden again. I'm that desperate. And it'd keep Frank Caliendo in business, which is never a bad thing.

Privé: behind the juice; Chucky vs. Jaws; Wynn pages Scalia

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:46:00 -0700

Had the Nevada Gaming Control Board not come down upon Planet Hollywood like a hod of bricks, it's entirely probable that Privé would still be up to its scofflaw antics. That's because Clark County has a long history of looking the other way or, at most, administering the occasional love-tap on the wrist. But when Gaming Control lays down a half-million-buck fine, it's kind of hard for Clark County Manager Virginia Valentine's crew to keep their heads in the sand, pretending to be invisible.

Hence the revocation of Privé's license, quickly restored once the Titanic deck chairs were rearranged and the vessel rechristened the Lusitania. I feel much better now, don't you? (It should be noted that there's a sizeable constituency in Las Vegas that thinks the county and NGCB should turn a blind eye and laissesz les bon temps roulez. Hey, why don't we bring back bribery, too? If those officials are going to be ignoring the laws they're charged with enforcing, shouldn't they be compensated for it?)

Kudos to the ever-clever management of Cannery Casino Resorts. They've struck a deal with ESPN to allow simulcast of Monday Night Football on Galaxy Theaters' giant DMAX screen at the original Cannery. The festivities begin on Sept. 14 with a Bills/Patriots and Chargers/Raiders doubleheader. (OK, the nightcap sounds like a real dog, but MNF doesn't get the pick of the litter since moving to cable.)

A 60-foot-tall Terrell Owens? Scary! More worrisome still: Will egomaniac Jon Gruden hog the mike this season, elbowing aside co-analyst Ron Jaworski? Nobody breaks down a play like "Jaws" but will "Chucky" let him get a word in edgewise?

Steve Wynn must be getting a little apprehensive about how Labor Commissioner Michael Tanchek's long-running hearings on tip confiscation will play out. Wynn's benched the able Gregory Kamer, as well as Wynn Resorts' in-house counsel, in favor of Beltway attorney Eugene Scalia. And, yes, his dad is that Scalia. (Does anybody else think the Bush administration passed over Scalia Sr. for Chief Justice in favor of John Roberts because he -- unlike Roberts -- was too contentious to forge majority rulings? Just me? OK.)

Wait Until Dark (@ CSN) obtains tepid praise from the R-J. I saw it last Friday. What's my verdict? Tune in tomorrow!

There's only one Native American currently serving on the federal bench. Might Nevada make it two? Vito de la Cruz, S&G hopes you receive due consideration.

Economic parable: Once upon a time there were two thrift stores in my neighborhood. One, run by Catholic Charities, sold good merchandise. The other, Goodwill, peddled garbage. Guess which one went out of business? It's like the nonprofit version of the Walmart saga.

Quote of the Day

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:23:00 -0700

"[Ryan Miller can] lead the University of South Carolina to the SEC championship and the national championship!" -- Gamecocks head coach Steve Spurrier, exuberantly unaware that the student in question plays trumpet, not football. But never underestimate the power of a killer marching band.

Quote of the Day

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 14:08:00 -0700

"Privé. Gibbons. Ensign. Rampant foreclosure. Half-built, hubristic casinos. Record unemployment. UFC. Mob Museum. Maybe Las Vegas 2009 is just Tom Wolfe's next novel." -- Las Vegas Weekly Editor Scott Dickensheets, from Facebook.

House of wax

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 13:05:00 -0700

I call your bluff, comrade. As you may have heard, casinos in Russia can stay open by converting to poker rooms. A tip of the fedora goes to reader mike_ch for pointing out this story, which delineates some of the pros and cons. In Vegas, even the strongest poker rooms don't generate nearly the body count that table games and slots do. But Russian casinos are much smaller and at least a few might be able to hang on, depending on the size of the rake.

It's mighty big of the Kremlin, by the way, to concede that poker is a sport, not a game of chance. Now if only Uncle Sam would do the same ...

Rescue the Riv! Random observation from driving down Las Vegas Boulevard last night: The Riviera suddenly looks so much better and more classic when juxtaposed with the incredible bulk that is Fontainebleau. Land values have fallen, RIV stock is worthless and the property itself provides ready access to the Las Vegas Convention Center.

Time, methinks, for Penn National to get off its duff and make an offer ... unless Penn CEO Peter Carlino is waiting for the Riviera to go into bankruptcy, so he can pluck the carcass at auction. Then again, if Carlino really thinks that Planet Hollywood and some or all of Station Casinos are low-hanging fruit, who am I to second-guess him?

Who's the dummy? The purpose of our excursion was to attend an incredibly pointless media event at Madame Tussauds at The Venetian. If there was a point, it was so that the assembled media hordes would serve as extras for yet another episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List. A waxwork of Ms. Griffin was being unveiled and suffice it to say that Wax!Griffin looks far better than Real!Griffin. (I must be Officially Jaded, for I scarcely gave the comedienne a second glance.) The various and sundry female impersonators on hand -- led by Frank Marino -- had clearly taken greater care of their appearances than Griffin had of hers. There was, in fact, just about every stripe of LGBT humanity on hand last night, so it was almost more Rainbow Coalition than media event.

What excitement there was went on outside, where a smallish crowd surrounded the Michael Jackson statue. Tributes were in evidence but everything was tasteful and no hysteria was to be seen. As for Mme. Tussauds itself, I've been to the original one in London, and I recall its wax figures as being more believable and the setting itself as more atmospheric (especially the tableaux of infamous British homicides and regicides) ... but that was 35 years ago this month.

Give Vegas Tussauds props for having a Joan Rivers dummy who looks more animated than her real-life counterpart, as seen on the NBC sitcom Celebrity Apprentice. All that's missing is to give the waxwork Rivers a voice box that periodically squawks, "A pokuh playah! A pokuh playah!" Still, we easily spent more time checking out the doodads and gizmos in Brookstone than we did in the wax museum.

In like a "Lion"

Fri, 22 May 2009 17:19:00 -0700

Are they feeling the love tonight?

It's too soon for the box office verdict but Mandalay Bay's production of The Lion King is hitting one home run after another with local critics. Joe Brown in the Las Vegas Sun pens an out-and-out rave, which the Las Vegas Review-Journal's Mike Weatherfor seconds -- with modest (and funny) reservations. CityLife Arts Editor Mike Prevatt deems it a "near slam-dunk" for long-term success.

Lion King predecessor Mamma Mia! set a daunting benchmark with its almost six-year run and Phantom of the Opera is closing in on the three-year mark, while Jersey Boys will probably be here as long as there are enough Four Seasons fans (Who isn't?) to fill a showroom. So Broadway-on-the-Strip is scarcely the bedridden invalid that is sometimes portrayed.

Las Vegas Weekly's John Katsilometes, like others, noticed a few longeurs but also gives The Lion King top accolades. But somebody had to be the spider on the valentine and that'd be me. At least my mixed feelings weren't the only ones: The R-J's Anthony Del Valle has a comparable set of "pros" and cons."

Best reason to get out of town this weekend: Malcontent-for-hire Terrell Owens ('Have bad attitude, will travel') is to be the celebrity du jour on Sunday night at Rok Vegas nightclub. Our condolences to Rok management in case it gets an up-close-and-personal experience of the pouting, whining, 'There is no "team" in "I"' mindset that has so endeared Owens to the San Francisco 49ers, Philadelphia Eagles, Dallas Cowboys and their respective fans. (Not to mention various pushed-under-the-bus QBs.)

Owens may have difficulty hanging onto a football but when it comes to "hosting" at a nightclub, if Spencer Pratt can do it how hard can it be?

Best reason to be in town this weekend: Two words -- Cheryl Burke.

Have a glorious holiday weekend.

Fickle cougars jilt Greektown

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:35:00 -0700

Every so often, there's a news story so weird all you can do is report the facts and scratch your head. Case in point, a Monday Detroit Free Press report on the impact of Final Four Weekend on Motown's gambling halls. Perennial also-ran Greektown Casino experienced a 5% decline in gambling revenue April 3-5, even though “We had twice as many people in the building as we did the same Saturday a year before. We had great hotel revenue … great food and beverage," according to CEO Randall Fine. So people are staying there -- they're just not playing there?

No. Evidently the prototypical Greektown gambler is a 55-year-old female slot player and Fine theorizes they fled en masse to MGM Grand Detroit and MotorCity to avoid Final Four fever. (It's a theory hardly without substance: Those casinos' revenues were up 12% and 6%, respectively.) It's a little difficult to imagine the "big game" crowd passing up those two casinos for grind joint Greektown, but there you have it. Remarkable.

Mr. Fine also finds himself in the situation of being a CEO whose own shareholders are trying to oust him -- and never mind that Greektown's market share has grown 2% since his appointment. "This is a major casino" proclaimed a presumably irony-free attorney for the Sault Ste. Marie Chippewa Tribe, owner of Greektown and whose umbrage reportedly came as a surprise to Fine. Considering how badly Greektown was faring under its previous management, perhaps the tribe should put a sock in it and give Fine the chance he's obviously earning.

March in Detroit was a mite frosty where casino revenues were concerned. While MGM may dominate the market, MotorCity (+1%) made tiny inroads, while both the lion house (-4%) and Greektown (-7%) coped with declines.

Case Bets: Seminoles, Iverson, Harrah's, PartyGaming, Station's luck, etc.

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:01:00 -0700

Down in Florida, the tide may be turning in favor of the Seminole Tribe. Both the Florida Retail Federation and Restaurant Lodging Association have thrown their support behind the status quo, as represented by Gov. Charlie Crist's Class III casino compact. Crist's unilateral gambling expansion has the not-so-small problem of being unconstitutional but this latest turn of events ratchets up the pressure on solons to pass a version of the compact that meets judicial muster.

That'll be no problem with the state Senate but the uptight House would like to roll back the Seminoles to slots-only status (and would get rid of the casinos altogether, if only they could in their benighted heart of hearts). The table-game genie isn't going back into the bottle -- at least not until the federal courts have their say -- so the Solomonic question at hand is how to level the playing field for private-sector racinos without sacrificing the Seminole tax revenue that Crist secured. Easier said than done, obviously.

"Is too!" "Is not!" Both MGM Grand Detroit and Greektown are refuting a report in the Detroit News (with which MGM has taken issue before) that they'd 86'd former Philadelphia 76er Allen Iverson from their casinos. Let's face it, the man is a boor but he's a wealthy boor, so neither casino is likely to turn him away as long as he only bounces basketballs, not checks.

Headless casino. Not only did Harrah's Entertainment sack the GM and five other execs at Harrah's Reno, it won't be replacing them. At almost any other company, running a casino by remote control would come as a surprise but Harrah's has the reputation of employing a ruthlessly standardized business model. Besides, the company has to free up some dough to pay its new Internet/World Series of Poker guru Mitch Garber, whose former employer, PartyGaming.com, just cut a deal with the feds.

The luck of the Fertittas. Dodging yet another bullet, Station Casinos extended negotiations with its debtors by another month. While some form of bankruptcy at Station is inevitable, the company continues to fend off a takeover attempt by Boyd Gaming. However, Station says that when it comes to the terms offered to unsecured creditors, it's hanging tough. If that's the case, what's to discuss? (Or is Station being more flexible than it's letting on publicly?) My money, so to speak, is still on Station brass and co-owners Colony Capital retaining possession of Station and at a substantial discount to its market value, too.

An obscure racino company is cleaning house and relocating from Las Vegas (where it had no logical business being headquartered) and back East, where all its business is. The board of Empire Resorts really wasn't minding the store, was it?

The company might at least saved a bundle on long-distance charges if it had condescended to have its corporate offices in New York State, where its physical operations were, and not in tax haven Green Valley. But don't cry for outsted CEO David Hanlon, who parachutes out with 100 grand and plus another hundred large for nine months of "consulting services." These days, nothing succeeds like failure -- provided it's done on a grand scale.

Update: These are the same clowns whose Maryland slot application got tossed because they didn't bother to include the mandatory application fee when they filed.

Pennsylvania's biggest gaming screwup is history ... sort of. Former Mount Airy casino owner Louis DeNaples is guilty as hell of hanging out with the wrong crowd but innocent of perjury and will maintain one degree of separation from the casino, which remains in the DeNaples family. The Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board can claim a semblance of victory but the four-and-a-half-year imbroglio is a lingering embarrassment to a body whose vetting process has been inarguably the sloppiest in the U.S.

The PGCB needs to pay more attention to background checks and less to "juice" (see Barden, Don) -- and also to develop questionnaires that aren't so "imprecise and potentially confusing" they could open applicants to charges of perjury. It would also behoove Pennsylvania to quit "stovepiping" PGCB and state police investigations. Were it not for a lack of information-sharing (prohibiting by Keystone Kop, er, State law), this whole mess would probably have been avoided.

The end of Viva

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:02:00 -0700

That's one of the implications of Colony Capital's potential cash infusion into CityCenter. Since Colony owns 3/4 of Station Casinos and might find itself with a big piece of CityCenter, it's an utter certainty that it wouldn't go along with the notion of Station building a fugly CityCenter knockoff on the other side of I-15. Of course, the Fertitta Bros. still control the Station board, so they could try and drag Colony down the Viva highway to hell if they want to force the issue.

But what does it say about CityCenter if Colony wants to buy in? The fund's track record in casino investing has been predominantly dreadful of late. A philosophy of acquiring "non-performing loans, distressed assets ... out-of-favor sectors," hasn't worked out so well. For instance, the REIT got a fire-sale price ($140 million) on Resorts Atlantic City, then saddled the dowager with a mortgage 160% excess of her market value.

When Resorts' sclerotic revenues caught up with Colony, it simply opted out of its "house payments." This nearly brought us the edifying spectacle of seeing a casino get repossessed by the bank. Between the venerable Resorts and the comparably ancient and non-performing Atlantic City Hilton, the fund's Boardwalk portfolio risks being dubbed "Colony Crapital."

Not only did Colony overpay (or, more accurately, over-borrow) for Station Casinos, it got further hornswoggled in the deal. Despite holding 76% of the equity, it only controls 40% of the board. Similarly, it let Goldman Sachs buy into the Las Vegas Hilton by dint of surrendering ultimate authority over capex decisions to Goldman.

It seems baffling from a common-sense standpoint that Colony could purchase a big stake in City Center, offer $850 million for the Tropicana Atlantic City (as it did last spring) or start a new fund to buy more yet distressed assets (as it's doing) when most of its casino properties are sucking wind. Shouldn't it be salvaging what it's already got?

Ethically, yes; realistically, no. For a fund like Colony, that'd be throwing good money after bad. ("Wanna buy a piece of this fund to bail out Resorts A.C.? No? How about putting some more into Station? Why not?!?") The way it's compartmentalized, Colony can keep buying shiny new silos, no matter how many of its existing silos are crumbling into barkdust, so long as there are takers for its fund offerings. Leave the bad investments to their fate and better luck next time.

One might be pardoned for thinking Colony couldn't run a lemonade stand profitably, as the company's gaming-sector strategy seems to consist of throwing money against a wall over and over again until some of it comes back. One of the questions raised by the CityCenter discussions is: How much control would Colony get in return for its money? Given that MGM Mirage is setting aside shutdown capital for the project, Colony appears to hold the leverage. It'd be smart to leave MGM in the driver's seat -- and besides, Colony is no stranger to dealing itself into a position of weakness.

Then again, Colony may well be a stalking horse for Saudi mogul Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal, one of its business partners. He's got deep pockets and grandiose plans ... just the sort of fellow who might fancy being the monarch of CityCenter.

Speaking of the Fertitta Bros. ... the president of their pride and joy, the UFC, a charming fellow by the name of Dana White is making headlines and not in a particularly good way.

Those [expletive] UFC [expletive] board meetings [expletive] must be [expletive] really something [expletive] else, [expletive]. Wouldn't you [expletive] want to [expletive] be a [expletive] fly on the [expletive] [expletive] [expletive] wall, mother[expletive]?

Should Colony take a stake in CityCenter -- thereby dooming Viva -- perhaps the Fertittas can send Mr. White to Colony HQ as their good-will ambassador.

Slumdog billionaires

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Local publisher Sherman Frederick's man-crush on Frank III & Lorenzo Fertitta is taking on groupie-like proportions. He devotes today's edition of his blog to a gooey ode to les freres Fertitta and their UFC, "Las Vegas' No. 1 business success story." (For my own feelings about the UFC, I yield the floor to the senior senator from Arizona, the Honorable John McCain, who once described it unforgettably as "human cockfighting." And that guy knows a thing or two about brutality, having been an extended-stay guest of the Hanoi Hilton.)

"Even with the economy going to hell in a handbasket," Frederick swoons, "the guys at Ultimate Fighting Championship seem to have caught lightning in a bottle. While casinos, real estate and retail are on bended knees right now in Nevada, the business of mixed martial arts is jumping through the roof."

And you know whose casinos are among those "on bended knees" right now? The Fertitta Bros., that's who. An ill-advised LBO (~~at a mind-boggling 17X EBITDA, according to a Morgan Stanley research note~~ at 9.8X the company's 2007 EBITDA) has Station Casinos teetering on the precipice of Chapter 11. Reservationists have been sacked and their jobs offloaded to the Third World; 401(k) contributions have been halted; the company's revolving line of credit has been raided to pay operating costs; ownership's proposed rescue plan was so disadvantageous to debtholders that they all but spat upon it. Just part of "the biggest Las Vegas business success story" of the 21st century, I guess.

Kill Mojave Max! Who needs desert tortoises? Not Frederick's editorial braintrust (now there's a contradiction in terms), who ridicule attempts to preserve Nevada's second-most beloved species ... "whales" being the first, of course.

Pinnacle: "We're the boss here!"

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:46:00 -0700

"Pinnacle tells store owner to lower his price" reads the headline in the Press of Atlantic City, and it's no exaggeration. Although the owner of the Atlantic City News Agency (a bookstore) has dropped the asking price for his property by 29%, that's just not good enough for Pinnacle Entertainment, which balks at paying more than $2.3 million. The store's owner wants $3.9 million.

"I think we have to be more realistic on price. They have a written offer. That's the way it is," huffed Pinnacle's viceroy for Atlantic City, Kim Townsend. Yup, Massa Pinnacle's giving the orders here and those pesky locals better fall in line, pronto. Although Pinnacle CEO Dan Lee has slammed the News Agency as "tawdry" because it sells adult magazines, the real tawdriness is Pinnacle's attempt to dictate market values and its picking a fight over $1.6 million in the larger context of a project on which it will spend at least $1.5 billion.

Pinnacle execs would undoubtedly reply that they're simply being fiscally responsible, and I'm sympathetic to that. But projects like Pinnacle's Atlantic City megaresort tend to be advanced with the argument that they will improve property values. Well, property values have improved -- and Pinnacle should have expected this scenario when it pushed past the boundaries of the old Sands site.

Strong language: Never have I seen a journalist who regularly covers the casino industry unload on it in the terms employed by Jeff Haney in a recent excoriation of a Boyd Gaming parlay-card promotion. While the latter's "best parlay cards on the planet" verbiage is obvious hyperbole, Haney ran the numbers and found Boyd's cards not even to be remotely the best in downtown Vegas. Haney called the claim "a blatant lie that goes beyond the usual bluster and hype and reflects poorly on legal gambling in Nevada" and "an out-and-out falsehood."

He said it was even worse than the "sleazy and demeaning to customers and visitors" promos that audaciously touted 6-5 blackjack as a "whopping" advantage. (To the casino, maybe. To the player ... not so much. You should hear the suppressed anger in former dealer Dennis Conrad's voice when 6-5 blackjack is the topic.)

Haney also opened a can of verbal whup-ass on "the bizarro realm of corporate doublespeak, where gambling is 'gaming,' the Super Bowl is the 'professional football championship contest,' and rank suckers (such as those who think Boyd has the best parlay cards) are 'valued guests.'"

His thesis boils down to a central paragraph that reads as follows: "Touting parlay cards as the best on the planet while offering average or below-average odds serves to lower the discourse on the business of state-regulated legal gambling toward the level of a big con."

Players have few advocates more outspoken than Jeff Haney. Bettors are fortunate to have such one-man truth squads on their side.

Beach blanket roulette

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 11:01:00 -0700

Contrary to a popular local sentiment, government performs some useful functions -- like monitoring the cleanliness and safety of swimming pools. (Unless you're of the persuasion that your landlord never has anything but your best and highest interests at heart.) Clark County's pool inspectors are subject of a Jason Whited cover story in this week's City Life, in which three Vegas-area casinos play supporting roles.

Yes, casino pools sometimes have to be shut down, although not for reasons that are particularly grotty. The casinos' attitude toward the matter, though, can sometimes be surprisingly flip. Whited's story cites four incidents, including ...

May 6: The pool at Palazzo is closed, partly due to excessive chlorination. Do Las Vegas Sands executives wait for the county to recertify the pool? To borrow a Steve Friess coinage, hell to the no! They just reopened it on their own. When you're bringing the Sands brand to China, Taiwan, Singapore, India and points west, I guess you don't have time to follow the rules back home.

July 10: For similar reasons, New York-New York's pool is closed. Again, not only was the pool reopened without permission but the check for the closure fee bounced (and MGM Mirage is at a loss as to why). Seems the company can borrow billions but can't cover a $348 check. Bizarre.

July 18: Red Rock Resort's Backyard Pool is discovered operating without lifeguards on duty. Sure, people come here to gamble, but probably not to the extent of wagering their lives.

At least MGM Mirage faced the music when City Life came calling. Sands and Station Casinos dove under the table. The latter can at least brag that Red Rock made LVA's Cool Pools list, while NY-NY and Palazzo didn't.

If the trade of Brett Favre to the NY Jets was sufficiently earth-shaking to get Jets betting lines temporarily pulled off of Vegas sportsbooks, I can only imagine what disorder is running rampant today. The torn ACL suffered by Tom Brady has kicked a season's worth of prognostication into a tricorn hat. That sound you hear is reams of exhaustive analyses going clear out the window.

Sportsbooks, a radical concept

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 21:53:00 -0700

Those poor Las Vegas Sands spokespeople; they don't get paid enough, I'm sure, for the ridiculous things they're expected to say while keeping a straight face. At the very tail end of a breaking Sun story, one of them who (wisely) opted for anonymity, said the buyout of the 40/40 Club "gives us an opportunity to fill an identified need" for a sportsbook.

Gee, ya think? I mean, let's not get all rash here. This wacky, novel, out-of-the-box sports-betting craze just might not last, y'know. It's not like everybody's got one -- only MGM Grand, the Las Vegas Hilton, Eastside Cannery, Green Valley Ranch, New York-New York, the Tropicana, The Palms, the former Barbary Coast, a little joint called Caesars Palace, etc., etc.

Like I said, clearly a risky concept.

Seriously: It took them eight months to figure out that a toll booth masquerading as a sportsbook wasn't going to cut it? I refuse to believe that Sands execs are that dumb. I'm going to stick with Theory A: That they weren't convinced the 40/40 Club would work out and, if it didn't, they'd have a perfect sportsbook fall right into their lap. Which it has.

Meet Bill Yung

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:17:00 -0700

That preening Master of the Universe wannabe you see above is Columbia Sussex CEO William Yung III, subject of a lengthy (and deeply unflattering) exposé in the Louisville Courier-Journal. The article basically explains what Missouri Gaming Commission Director Gene McNary meant when he cryptically told the Kansas City Star's Rick Alm that "There were things turned up in the investigation that did not comport with law-abiding behavior."

On a more humorous note, the Courier-Journal article refers to Yung as a "gambling czar." In an industry dominated by the likes of Kirk Kerkorian, Sheldon Adelson, Steve Wynn, Gary Loveman, and various and sundry Fertittas, Yung is -- at best -- more like a minor aristocrat whose estates are slowly going to seed. (His casino employees could certainly identify with the serfdom.)

Put on a happy face: New Jersey authorities are doing the best they can to spin the paltry number of bids (at best, three) for the Atlantic City Tropicana as a big win. We still don't know if Colony Capital actually put in a formal offer, although this newspaper didn't get the memo about the Mohegans' high-profile pullout.

A casino that was projected as selling for in excess of $1 billion could now go for considerably less. "Given where they are [relative to the market], if you were a bottom-feeder, you'd wait 'til the last dog was hung," says a source familiar with the situation, adding that the condition of the Trop may have scared off buyers: "It's basically three crummy properties and one great one smushed together."

To nobody's surprise, the New Jersey Lege passed a $90 million, three-year subsidy for the Garden State's horse racing industry, to be funded by Atlantic City casinos. You might say that the casinos are the horse in this case, lumbered with an overweight jockey in the form of the state's struggling tracks.

Lousiana riverboat gets third chance. The Hollywood Shreveport riverboat casino couldn't make a go of it under the now-forgotten Hollywood brand and then turned turtle while under Penn National's stewardship. Now, Reno-based Eldorado, which has been running the place for three years, has been approved to take full control of the vessel, which is worth roughly $40 million.

BoSox take a stand. When there's a players' strike, managers and coaches have to toe ownership's line and work with the scabs. But when Boston Red Sox ownership tried to shortchange its coaching staff, the players threatened to boycott the season opener unless their coaches were properly compensated. Now that's team spirit.

On the other hand ...

Steroid-lovin' union boss Don Fehr is demanding -- nay, insisting -- that, by golly, somebody better hire "Balco Barry" Bonds or there'll be consequences 'n stuff. Hmmmm, let's see: a decrepit, 43-year-old, surly, steroid-using player who clanks up the plate wearing a veritable suit of armor, can't play defense and is under federal indictment? Nah, I don't see any problems there. No distraction whatsoever.

Racinos a bum deal?

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 16:55:00 -0700

They are if you're a horse owner at The Isle Casino & Racing @ Pompano Park, which not only left trainers and owners out in the cold, as far as slot revenues are concerned, it just slashed purse amounts by 35%, reports the South Florida Sun-Sentinel.

Pompano Park, it should be noted, is an isolated case. The track, owned by Isle of Capri Casinos, argues in its own defense that slot revenues were lower than expected. But will racing be driven out in the process? Again we are faced with the question of how viable horse racing actually is (I'm looking at you, Kentucky) if massive subsidies from slot machines are what's needed to keep it alive. And while not contractually obligated to do more than it's done for the horsemen, at first blush it looks as though Isle of Capri has pulled a bait-and-switch here.

My 18-year-old son is in the news again. Oh wait, that's Florida House Speaker Marc Rubio, fighting a dogged rearguard action against Gov. Charlie Crist's gambling expansion in Florida. Rubio is arguing that A) Crist's revenue projections won't pencil out and B) "it is morally wrong to balance the budget on the backs of the poor and the working class."

It's a good day whenever a Grover Norquist-type conservative like Rubio comes out against regressive taxation. Unfortunately, Rubio's remedy is to dismantle the Florida state government. Also, he's made a habit of opposing fellow Republican Crist whenever possible (the two are vying for the mantle of Jeb Bush) and when Rubio says he's against "transferring" disposable income, it sounds to me like code for "By all means, let's keep it away from the Seminoles," whose Class III compacts Rubio is challenging in court.

So forgive me if I doubt Rubio's altruism just a bit. (And, no, I don't have an 18-year-old son.)

If he's lost Schwartz, he's lost Middle America. The lone media defender of Columbia Sussex CEO Bill Yung has left the building. UNLV's Dr. David Schwartz finally loses patience with the Kentucky hotel baron after reading about Yung bragging on his ability to fling $1 million at the feet of Kentucky's new governor in the same week that Columbia Sussex stiffed the state of New Jersey for 750 large. Is Yung's company really that hard up or is this a passive-aggressive way of getting back at the Garden State?

Excessive federal zeal in prosecuting gambling rings finds an unsympathetic ear at the Supreme Court. If there's a reason some Americans are distrustful of expanded federal law-enforcement powers, whatever the premise or the administration (the Clinton-Gore administration had its intrusive proclivities, too) it's because, inevitably, they will be pushed past the breaking point.

Neon Museum on hold

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 14:14:00 -0700

From the pages of the Las Vegas Sun ...

For want of $1.5 million, work on the long-awaited Neon Museum has ground to a halt. Mind you, this is a museum that would preserve many of the most evocative relics of an industry that raked in $12.8 billion in gambling win in the Silver State last year.

With so much money pouring into casino coffers, you'll never convince me that a spare million and a half can't be spared to make an hommage to the Strip icons of yesteryear. Heck, Steve Wynn probably loses that much under his sofa cushions.

South Point owner Michael Gaughan is the point man pushing for rescinding the ban on cell phone use in Nevada sports books. It's an idea worth debating but there is one small fly in the ointment: Enforcement of the proposed new rule would rely on the honor system. We're given the less-than-reassuring assurance that "most locals know the rules and don't violate them."

Yes, and most people obey practically every law (except maybe speed limits). All it takes is a few rotten apples and -- kaboom! -- the majesty of the law is down upon Nevada and Delaware, not to mention any other state (like New Jersey) that is considering the legalization of sports betting. I'm just sayin'.

Bo Belinsky remembered. For some of us, he will be best known as the ex-husband of 1965 Playmate of the Year Jo Collins. (No, tasteful nudity does not lurk beneath that link. Sorry, guys.)

Elsewhere ...

Dictator steps down, U.S. still cutting off nose to spite face. Political posturing, si! Commerce? Free exchange of ideas? Cuban cigars? No! I mean, Cuba is a dangerous superpower, not a free-speech-loving, human-rights-promoting, democratic, economically non-threatening, anti-Communist little country -- like China. (Or, if you're my age, "Red China.")

Local columnist Hugh Jackson points out (in Jacksonian fashion) that a post-Fidel Cuba is probably A Good Thing for the casino industry. For American sugar beet producers ... not so much.

Las Vegas CityLife, which "lends its dubious endorsement" to S&G, among other fine blogs (including VegasTodayAndTomorrow.com) is launching a new rotating blog of its own.

Sports-betting scandals reach new low

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:03:00 -0700

Dear heavens, not snooker! Is nothing sacred, nothing at all? Oh, the humanity!

Dobson hearts Huckabee

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 11:26:00 -0700

Having sat on his unsullied hands until it's too late to affect the outcome, pediatrician and anti-gambling prude Dr. James Dobson has flung himself into the arms of Gov. Mike Huckabee. Dobson says his tender, casino-despising breast was torn between the two remaining "pro-family" (translation: anti-gay) candidates, Huckabee and Mitt "Two-Face" Romney. When Romney climbed atop the funeral pyre of his campaign yesterday, equating himself with Ronald Reagan in the process, Dobson's dilemma was solved.

Ever modest and demure, Dobson says he's endorsing Huckabee simply as "a private citizen." Uh-huh. A private citizen with a national radio show, a newsletter, a tax-exempt foundation and a swanky Colorado Springs HQ.

Given the mounting pressure on presumptive GOP nominee John McCain to pick Huckabee as his running mate, you have to wonder what's going through the mind of staunch McCain backer and MGM Mirage CEO J. Terrence Lanni. After all, Lanni had to spend some of the best years of his life in the company of Dobson, when the two were part of the National Gambling Impact Study Commission, back during the Clinton administration.

A 'McHuck' ticket would create something of a pickle for Lanni and like-minded colleagues. McCain would be conjoined with a Dobson anointee who also favors a 30% federal tax on all gambling-related goods and services. And this person would be a heartbeat away from the presidency.

On the other hand, Dobson has proven malleable to casino-industry interests in the recent past. Or maybe he was just a dupe all along.

Did not! Did not! Did not! Use steroids, that is. Says Roger Clemens despite physical evidence to the contrary. I feel better already.