David Mckee's Stiffs & Georges - TV

On the move

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:02:00 -0700

This will be the last S&G posting before we relaunch our new format. In the immortal words of Lt. Col. Jack O'Neill, "Well, I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound. [pause] Nothing comes to mind."

See you over at WordPress.

Quote of the Day

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:02:00 -0700

"If C.C. Sabathia starts game one of the World Series, the Yankees will know they have won tonight." -- Fox Sports baseball analyst Tim McCarver, sinking to bathyspheric depths of belaboring the obvious, early in Sunday's game six of the ALCS. (The Yankees won and it probably won't take until Wednesday night for them to realize it.)

Adieu F-bleau, hello Hollywood?

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:37:00 -0700

Look what just fell into the S&G mailbag:

Beginning January 1, 2010 Penn National Gaming will partner with RPM Advertising to develop and execute a brand identity for Hollywood Casinos. The full service assignment will incorporate research, brand development, media planning/buying, creative execution, production services and direct marketing. Penn National, one of the top five gaming companies in the world, owns and operates seven Hollywood Casinos across the country including facilities in Aurora, IL; Bangor, ME; Baton Rouge, LA; Grantville, PA; Lawrenceburg, IN; Bay St. Louis MS; and Tunica, MS.

Forgive me if I have a coughing spasm after reading Penn National describe itself as "one of the top five gaming companies in the world." I suppose it would depend on your definition of "top" (number of facilities and/or employees, market cap, etc.) but in an industry that contains MGM Mirage, Harrah's Entertainment, Wynn Resorts, Las Vegas Sands, Boyd Gaming, Station Casinos and even woebegone Trump Entertainment Resorts, the best Penn could hope for in terms of name recognition would be eighth place. (Enter RPM, stage right.)

As for the marketing alliance, given the timing of the belated decision to try and unify the brand, it looks like Penn is going to attempt a Harrah's in reverse: acquire a Strip property (Fontainebleau) and then create a company-wide brand-loyalty program to incentivize customers to visit its shiny new megaresort.

Sounds a bit cart-before-horse to me but, after today's bulletin, it's no stretch of the imagination to suggest that F-bleau could soon become Hollywood Las Vegas or some close variant thereof. At least in terms of brand equity, it would represent a step or two up from F'bleau, whose name recognition factor is now entirely negative.

Green shoot? Weekday room rates for early December at Vdara have nudged upward to $145/night (from $129) according to J.P. Morgan analysts.

What's wrong with this picture? The media night for Wayne Newton's new Tropicana show, Once Before I Go (could we have that in writing?) looks more like a Dancing with the Stars tour stop. In addition to former contestants Sabrina Bryan and Jennie Garth, four DWTS regulars -- including Cheryl Burke and Kym "Tina Sparkle" Johnson -- will be on hand.

Except for Ms. Johnson, who's presumably in town to rehearse current partner Donny Osmond, the quartet is available because they've all been eliminated. (For instance, Alec Mazo helped Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin dance her way to a premature exit.)

Trouble is, they'll be in the audience and the Wayner will be onstage. Wouldn't you prefer the reverse proposition? And since Newton is strictly a short-term proposition for the Trop (six months and out), would it be too much to hope for a Vegas offshoot of DWTS as his successor?

From the mailbag #9

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:55:00 -0700

One reader asks, regarding senatorial aspirant Sue Lowden's esteemed Pioneer Hotel & Gambling Hall:

I'm confused (as usual, but...) - Isn't the Pioneer NOT a gambling hall now, its shell hosting an ABC convenience store & various other small shops?
I don't remember if I ever patronized the place when it was a casino, but its stores are in a good location for the Downtown tourist crowd; the ABC Store is especially popular with our Hawaiian friends. That's good for sales taxes, right?

As for the Vegas Club, please don't vaporize it yet: We're going to stay there at the end of the month, mainly because it's free for me - and a separate free room for a friend of mine - allowing him to attend the Speedway races for that much less money.

You're thinking of the Pioneer on Fremont Street, while Ms. Lowden's establishment is down in Laughlin. And it very much has gambling. As for dematerialization, S&G did not nominate the Vegas Club for that dubious honor but suggested that, as long as Sen. Harry Reid's people are threatening to "vaporize" Ms. Lowden that they make themselves useful and turn their phasers on her grind joint, which is regarded as a bottom-feeder even by Laughlin standards.

The Vegas Club is very much on people's minds, as another reader asks:

How is it possible that TV series VEGA$ starring Robert Urich came out on DVD on October 20 and I saw nothing in the Las Vegas media celebrating the occasion. I saw an ad in Newsweek. They couldn't get something with Wayne F. Newton at the Tropicana or Phyllis Davis and Judy Landers in front of the Plaza or the Las Vegas Club? Sad, sad, sad.

Ah, a Phyllis Davis shout-out. You're speaking our language. And, yes, that VEGA$ release really snuck by, didn't it? In a classic case of the blind following the blind, local TV stations take their cues from the newspapers. The various Greenspun-owned organs have been slashing staff at a fearsome rate, so it's understandable that they'd miss it.

As for the Las Vegas Review-Journal, suffice it to say that staffers there, up to and including head cheese Thomas Mitchell, had to be told that the Moulin Rouge was burning down because -- even though it was happening across the street -- they work in a penetentiary-like building with no windows to the outside world (architecture as institutional metaphor).

So it's not the least bit surprising that our insular and rapidly declining local media would totally blow this one. As for Mayor Oscar Goodman, he had a previous commitment in London, but still ... no proclamation? No declaration that Oct. 2009 was hereby "VEGA$ Day"? Another missed opportunity for some free ink.

Quote of the Day

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:52:00 -0700

"For some people, just being a woman is a pre-existing condition." -- Dr. Nancy Snyderman on the subject of HMOs and their propensity to cover Viagra ... but not in-vitro fertilization or birth control pills.

Why does Steve Wynn hate America?

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:31:00 -0700

Or maybe the question should be, What was Steve Wynn smoking before he told CNBC "Money Honey" Maria Bartiromo that Wynn Macau was making more than all other 30 Macao casinos combined? Perhaps he meant his joint is the single-highest-grossing casino in the Chinese protectorate, but his phraseology is misleading:

Wynn's remarks on the importance of staffing and customer service are, as usual, on point. However, he starts sounding like a puppet of Peking ("One thing about the Chinese government, I think they get it right."), praising the steadiness and thoughtfulness of its policies. Here's an example of Peking's steady, thoughtful policymaking in action:

Wynn's comments that infrastructural improvements don't help at tourism-dependent (casino) industry make him sound naive -- doubly so if aforesaid projects put disposable income into consumers' pockets. Still and all, Wynn is far more reasonable on CNBC -- and immeasurably less obnoxious -- than during his obstreperous Fox News Sunday rants.

Although Wynn clearly fancies himself the new political pundit on the block, he's got but one string to his bow: bellowing "Tax policy" over and over. Which translates as "Tax cuts (for me)!" Yup, if Big Guvmint would just stop collecting taxes from Big Bidness, everything would be hunky-dory, economically speaking. We'd have new jobs coming out the ass.

Here's the problem with that line of argument: We're fresh off eight straight years of tax cuts, tax holidays and corporate loopholes big enough to encompass every square foot of CityCenter. How did that work out for us?

More to the point, given a tax-averse administration and Congress, how did Wynn's casino colleagues handle their newfound largesse? Did they invest it responsibly? Hell to the no! That "bundling of the Strip" which Wynn has decried is the poisoned fruit of companies that were awash in capital and easy credit, who then used it to try and eradicate the competition. (Similar phenomena occurred in the regional casino markets and in the slot industry.)

Having cannibalized their main rivals, casino companies then began to devour themselves, in the form of insupportable debt levels and insane LBOs. And if Wynn really believes that government spending has never improved anyone's lot in life (he must have forgotten the New Deal, for starters), then how many standards of living are raised by merger-and-acquisition orgies? For the average worker, it means jobs are "consolidated" out of existence. Heck, not even executives are immune. Just ask some of the Mandalay Resort Group or Park Place Entertainment higher-ups who are now enjoying involuntary retirement.

Should the current administration hand out the kind of tax vacation Wynn is demanding, would the casino industry A) buy new and shiny objects, B) retire debt or C) create jobs? B & C would probably finish a distant second and third to A.

Just look at Harrah's Entertainment: It can't repay its creditors dollar for dollar but thinks nothing of snapping up 16% of Planet Hollywood. If there's degenerate gambling going on in the casinos, the worst of it can be found in the executive suites. If these guys ever took to playing Russian roulette, they'd probably leave at least five bullets in the revolver.

Wynn is probably feeling his oats, given the bullish, odds-defying early performance of his Hong Kong IPO. The real story may be that gains realized in the Hang Seng will be used to prop up Wynn's Las Vegas operations rather than to expand in Macao.

This just in: The two-week run of A Bronx Tale at the Venetian has been extended to a third weekend. A spoken-word play in a Strip theater seemed like a dicey prospect so this is very good news indeed.

Case Bets: Reid, Goodman, Madison (Holly) & a kegger

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 16:06:00 -0700

As they say on Dancing with the Stars, in no particular order ...

Eight against Harry: For a speedy primer on the myriad challengers to Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV), you can't go wrong with Jon Ralston's droll and speedy primer. It even gets props from John Chachas (R-Central Park West), who recently tossed his homburg into the ring. At least one among the posse Ralston calls "Snow White [Archon Corp. Treasurer Sue Lowden] and the Seven Dwarfs" has a sense of humor.

Reason vs. rage: While Steve Wynn was ranting on the boob tube this weekend, Thomas Krugman's column offers an indirect rebuttal to Wynn's Johnny One-Note ("Tax policy!") table-pounding.

Run, Oscar, run! If these poll numbers don't nudge the World's Happiest Mayor into the 2010 gubernatorial race, perhaps nothing will. Oscar Goodman not only has the highest favorables among Nevada politicians included in the survey, he wins one theoretical electoral matchup and ties for first in the other.

Gov. Jim Gibbons' political future looks bleak (read: borderline nonexistent) and there's not much comfort for Hapless Harry, either. Just think how much worse it would be if Reid had an opponent possessing genuine gravitas. Besides, given the rising tide of discontent among Nevada's progressives, there's a good chance that much of Hapless Harry's old base will just stay home on Election Day.

In Oscar's domain, an architect suggests ways to revitalize Downtown by decreasing energy use, increasing sustainability and generally targeting long-term cost savings. The proposal makes a lot of sense -- a virtual guarantee it will be ignored.

Holly Madison tapped an Oktoberfest keg at Siegfried & Roy hangout Hofbrauhaus last Friday. [Your punchline here.]

"Serpent Head" Jr.: If CNN ever has to let James Carville go on vacation, don't worry ...

... SNL's Bill Hader can fill in and nobody will notice a difference.

Quote of the Day

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 13:42:00 -0700

"[Steve] Wynn, however, has a slowly worded belief that it's time for people to stop listening to economists and start listening to throaty casino owners, and their astounding oversimplifications. Create jobs and we'll give your business $40,000! Please? Maybe? Please?" -- Huffington Post's Jason Linkins, panning the casino mogul's bombastic and condescending performance on Fox News Sunday. Wynn did, however, succeed in coining a catchy new word: "obstacables."

Oh me of little faith

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 16:40:00 -0700

Pardon a smallish digression from the world of games to something truly important ... baseball. With painful memories of the '04 and '05 postseason meltdowns acid-etched into my mind, I've not been able to summon the intestinal fortitude to watch either of the first two Red Sox/Angels games. (And postseason Angels games really take a toll on one's stomach.)

Now, with the Halos up 2-0, I'm wondering if it's safe to peek between my fingers as the series repairs to Fenway Park. My gut-twisting gut-level feeling is that this series goes the full five games, which is my recipe for pure torture. But ... Angels pitchers seemed to have conquered their fear of BoSox hitters and shut them down.

Besides, I've been wrong before about this team -- 1,000% wrong about Bobby Abreu, who's been a tremendous influence for the better. His superb plate discipline has been worlds away from the bizarre flailing of Vladimir Guerrero (which you can only get away with if you're Vlad and can lift a far-outside pitch over the fence in straightaway center). Patient at-bats were the key to the Angels' '02 World Series run, which made up for less-than-dominant starting pitching. If there's an Angels/Yankees ALCS, it'll be a contest to see who can take more pitches: a real tortoise-and-hare match.

At least the Angels and BoSox share a common adversary: the umpires. "Country" Joe West and C.B. Bucknor are showing yet again why they are two of the worst in MLB ... although seemingly every American League playoff game this year (including the Metrodome miniseries that finished the Detroit Tigers) has been plagued by truly craptacular umpiring and amazingly poor calls. If this were the NFL, these clowns would be relegated to working late-season Rams/Raiders games or some purgatorial equivalent.

Speaking of the Yanks, I can't hold out much hope for my old home team, the Minnesota Twins. All the Homer Hankies in the world aren't going to do it for a pitching staff that can't hold a lead against the Bronx Bombers, and it pains me to type that.

Thanks for your indulgence. We now return to our irregularly scheduled blogging. As soon as I find my Rally Monkeys, that is.

P.S.: It's a damnable shame that our server won't load previously unused images into the blogs. 'Cuz I've got a great Philly Phanatic photo that would be perfect should they make it to the Fall Classic.

Case Bets: California crisis, M cutbacks, "Guiding Light" in LV, etc.

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:50:00 -0700

Ist California kaput? That's the question posed by the The Observer and it makes for troubling reading. If Gov. Jim Gibbons (R-NV) is right that tourism from California is the carotid artery of Nevada's economy, then the Silver State is -- to put it politely -- screwed. A good thing the Lege didn't follow Midnight Jim's advice and shut down Nevada's outreach efforts in China.

Speaking of which ... Amidst a flurry of economic developments and positive indicators in Macao, the casinos of Stanley Ho are backing off the expensive VIP trade and going mass-market. (Translation: "We're coming after you, Sheldon Adelson.") Thanks to reader mike_ch for the link.

Colossal buMMer. Breakfast has just been eliminated from the offerings at the M Resort buffet. Unless one lives nearby (a relatively small clientele), M is a heckuva long detour to make for breakfast, so this economy move is understandable ... but depressing all the same. No casino buffet gets higher marks from LVA readers.

That's a bit weird. Stay with me here, folks. CBS cancels Guiding Light, replacing it with Let's Make a Deal, which is shot at the Tropicana Las Vegas. So what should be coming to Vegas in December (at The Rio) but a Guiding Light farewell tour -- yes, Reva, Josh and the whole kit 'n kaboodle. How much you wanna bet they won't be taking in a LMaD taping at the Trop? The only way to make this scenario more Banquo's Ghost-ly would be for the soap convention to be held at the Trop, too.

P.S.: Better get your tickets now before the 'Otalia' fans scarf them all up.

Company. Performances resume at UNLV tonight and it's a must-see. Mind you, the Review-Journal praises the Stephen Sondheim revival with faint damns, while the Sun's review reverses that formula. But I'd pay to see it again, which I don't say about many shows in this town.

In other news ...

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:19:00 -0700

I am happy to report that Stella Stevens' Las Vegas Lady did not make it into our "worst Las Vegas-based movie of all time" poll. (As they say in Chicago, vote early and often.) Crazy Girls Undercover, however, was not so lucky.

Adelson's rescuer?

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:01:00 -0700

Meet Wilbur Ross. He's an investor of all trades with an appetite for distressed assets. And he's turning his sights to the casino industry. In particular, he's drawn a bead on "companies [who] are also looking at selling assets in the Chinese gambling enclave of Macau to support struggling operations in Las Vegas."

That means either Las Vegas Sands or MGM Mirage, and it's old news that Sheldon Adelson has been peddling a couple of retail malls and the non-casino aspects of Sands Macao (above). MGM is attempting a reboot (successful so far) of MGM Grand Macau but still might come up short on completion money for CityCenter, especially if condo prices have to be reduced. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that one Macanese casino beats any number of hotel rooms or retail outlets.

Un-Trumped? Thwarted Trump Marina suitor Richard Fields is making another run at the property, which he's been trying to buy since Homer was a pup. Better still for him, he could get it for as little as $75 million. However, he's got dark-horse competition from a Maryland-based private equity fund that's making a play for all three of the Trump Entertainment Resorts casinos.

Notorious for mainly hanging its corporate shingle in tax-haven Green Valley, would-be casino operator Empire Resorts is not only re-headquartered in New York State, it's got new partners. Some of them bring checkered pasts to the table.

Also, Empire's hopes hinge upon the current administration reversing an especially paternalistic ruling from the George W. Bush years: namely, that casino sites must be within commuting distance of the tribal owners' -- in this case the St. Regis Mohawks -- reservations. If economic self-sufficiency is the endgame of federal/policy, Uncle Sam needs to loosen the apron strings.

Unready for some football. The unceremonious scrapping of Monday Night Football events at The Cannery is explained (second item). Magic word: clearance. Columnist John Katsilometes also notes that the second weekend of Zowie Bowie's Vintage Vegas was better than the first. Which would mean it's graduated from "bad" to "mediocre."

New England moralists are apparently OK with slot machines in Rhode Island, so long as they're covered by the fig leaf of mandatory greyhound racing. At least the slot players have a chance of actually catching the rabbit, metaphorically speaking. Animal cruelty is bad enough but when it's enshrined in state law it's even more objectionable, if such a thing is possible.

Go ask Alex

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:04:00 -0700

Without further ado, we present S&G's much-hyped interview with Tropicana Las Vegas CEO Alex Yemenidjian, a trim, nattily attired man of impeccable manners and refreshing directness, as you will see. I led off with questions from the readership ...

Nelson asks, “What’s your game plan for motivating the staff into offering quality service to your guests?”

First of all, we have a lot of staff that’s already very motivated. When I took over here, it was a very pleasant surprise to see that there is this reservoir of good will. Many of the employees have been here a long time. They love this place, it’s home for them, they are proud of it and they are happy to be part of the future of it, and they’re very excited because these changes that we are proposing is something that they have been waiting for for a very long time.

In addition to that reservoir of good will, we’re going to be implementing a new training program, a new guest-service-quality program to make sure we elevate the service to a whole new level. So I think the combination of those is going to do the trick.

The last time I walked the property, it was very lightly staffed. I saw two maids to a hotel floor, even on a floor with 44 rooms. Rockymet asks, “Will they staff a full size cleaning crew [and] will they spruce up what is/was one of the best pools in Vegas?”

The answer to the first question is, yes, we’re actually increasing our staff in many areas. We’re reducing in certain areas and increasing in others, as the particular area dictates – particularly in the area of guest-room attendants. One of our objectives is for our new rooms that we are designing to look perfect at all times. It’s a whole new image, it’s a whole new brand that we’re putting forward, so we want to make sure that service matches the new brand.

As far as the pool is concerned, [the question is] very timely. I just finished final touches of the design this morning. We will be getting permits by December 1 so that we can open the new pool area by April 1, which is the beginning of the next summer season. We recognize that the pool area is renowned and we want to make sure that we do it justice, so we’re going to be spending a little more money than we originally thought. [smiles] But it’s going to be wonderful.

Jeff in Oklahoma City wants to know if Onex Corp. “is keeping the property warm for MGM until [MGM’s] debt structure gets better” and if this your way back to MGM Mirage?

I can speak for Onex when I tell you that they are not in the business of keeping things warm for anybody.

Your proposed executive team for the Illinois casino you were seeking included Karen Sock and Joe Billhimer, a couple of heavy hitters in the business. Are they or any other well-known executives going to be joining you at the Trop?

At the moment we have an excellent team here. I am very proud of my team. I actually have a team that I wouldn’t trade for any other team in Las Vegas at the moment. As our company expands – and Onex and my intention is to expand by either acquiring new ones or building new hotels – hopefully we will have more openings and more opportunities to have people like Karen and Joe join the team.

Does that mean Trop President Ron Thacker is staying on?

Ron hasn’t been here. Ron decided to retire. He had actually come out of retirement to take this job as a favor to Tropicana Entertainment.

How serious are the deferred-maintenance issues you’ve had to address?

Well, we were spending a significant amount of money on the deferred maintenance that was left to us, courtesy of the previous owners. We addressing all issues, including roof, elevator, escalator – all items of deferred maintenance that have been ignored for a very long period of time, and we are spending whatever it takes to make sure that the property comes up to a top-notch level.

You’ve said that one of the priorities was redesigning the buffet, but what about the food itself? I’ve eaten there and it was one of the worst buffets in Las Vegas.

I agree with you. Lucky for us, you ate there with the previous chef. We have just hired a new chef. He is in the process of changing the quality of the food. He hasn’t gotten to the buffet yet; he is very busy right now in the new restaurant we just opened, an Italian restaurant called Bacio. Pretty soon he’s going to move from there to significantly improving the quality of food at the buffet.

The last I read, Dirk Arthur was on an interim contract, into the autumn. What’s his status going forward?

I think he had a six-month contract. I’m not quite sure when it expires. We’re really quite happy with Dirk Arthur. But we don’t have any particular plans one way or the other. We’re just happy to have him.

How are you able to incorporate Let’s Make a Deal without significant interruption? What kind of infrastructure is involved with having a TV show where Bodies and Titanic used to be?

That’s the pavilion space. It’s 55,000 square feet. It was really sort of custom-made for this kind of a production. We really don’t have much disruption. We have a really large property – 34 acres and we have plenty of space for the additional traffic that is being created.

We welcome the traffic. A little bit of commotion is fun in a casino. It’s actually funny because [contestants] come in these great costumes, walk in and out. We have some major events planned in the pavilion but it turns out that the taping of the first 50 shows will be complete by the time we need to [switch].

You’ve outlined a very ambitious, multi-phase program of changes. How are you going to execute all of that on $175 million, considering how expensive construction and renovation have become in Las Vegas?

Two things. One is, because of the current economic conditions, we are getting at least 30% discounts on all material and all labor. So we only pay $70 million for something that costs $100 million. If we were building this two years ago, it would have been a very different story.

The second aspect to that is that, as you undoubtedly know, a lot of construction projects here in Las Vegas are done with little regard for budget and sometimes people end up overspending. We can’t afford to do that, so we have to make sure that every dollar that we spend counts as $5.

So we are being very cautious and very smart and very careful about making sure that every dollar that we spend, we have an opportunity to impress the customer. And the combination of that and the fact that we’re getting unbelievable bids for the work means that if we announce a $150 [million]-$175 million project, it’s really equivalent to spending $300 million-plus.

Ask Alex!

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:31:00 -0700

Tomorrow morning, I have scored some precious face time with Tropicana Las Vegas CEO Alex Yemenidjian. The ostensible topic of the media event is "Special Guest," er, Wayne Newton.

But screw that. Let's find out what else is going on at the Trop, particularly in terms of capital improvements, staffing, Let's Make a Deal tapings and all those deferred-maintenance issues Yemenidjian inherited from his predecessors.

So here's the idea: If you've got questions, submit them in the "Comments" section (or by e-mail at dmckee@huntingtonpress.com) and I'll use the best ones in my interview. I already had plenty of queries of my own but changed my mind and decided to try and get you guys (and gals) in on the fun.

So what's on your mind, Trop-wise?

Are you ready for some football? No!

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:45:00 -0700

Galaxy Theatres' multiplex at The Cannery has scrapped all its big-screen showings of Monday Night Football, it was announced today, one week into the NFL season. Perhaps the incessant jabbering of Jon Gruden sent patrons screaming out onto the casino floor.

"Historic Announcement" at Trop: New CEO Alex Yemenidjian has booked a press conference on Wednesday morning with a "Special Guest" who represents an "exciting new partnership" in the entertainment sphere. It's the worst-kept secret in Vegas that Mr. Special Guest is better known as blogger Chuck Monster's least-favorite Strip headliner, Wayne F. Newton.

Also, the Sahara is (finally!) pulling the plug on Larry Marshak's ersatz Platters/Coasters/Marvelettes revue. Alas, the last act in this shameful saga of exploitation has yet to play out. The Marshak troupe will actually move up the Strip food chain, to Planet Hollywood. However, its new home is the Wyrick Entertainment Complex, otherwise known as the "Venue of Death." If that doesn't kill the show, nothing will.

Well that's ... weird: The Las Vegas Sun's Brendan Buhler reports that waitresses at Monte Carlo's lounge within the Dragon Noodle Co. restaurant "are dressed as characters from Japanese animé cartoons, a hobby known as cosplay." This strikes Buhler as odd because the U.S. cosplay cosmos is dominated by teens and pre-teens, and is "geeky." (He said it, I didn't.) He likens it to a Miley Cyrus-themed nightclub, before noting that the uniforms resemble "schoolgirl outfits."

Which would explain a lot.

Eight isn't enough. Yet another GOP challenger enters the lists against Sen. "Hapless Harry" Reid (D-NV). Just FYI.

'Phantom' fans hit Vegas

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:36:00 -0700

Heaven knows, there are conventions for soap operas, sitcoms and every iteration of science fiction (I've been to more than a few of the latter). But a fan convention for a Broadway show? That's unheard of.

Yesterday, fans of Phantom of the Opera hit town for the first-ever Phantom con, at the Venetian, where they'll score some face time with director Harold Prince and the Venetian's resident Phantom, Anthony Crivello. (You have to give Sheldon Adelson props: If Glenn Schaeffer had been running the Venetian, he'd have turned down Phantom on the grounds it was free publicity for Paris-Las Vegas. But Adelson knew a good thing when he saw it.) The Venetian has even rolled out a package of goodies to keep Phantom fans on-property. Smooth move there, Rob Goldstein.

Having recently passed its third anniversary, the Vegas-ized Phantom looks well on its way to blowing past Mamma Mia!'s six-year milestone. We could easily be celebrating its 10th anniversary come 2016. Yours truly gets name-checked in Steve Friess' interview with Prince. My only quibble with the story -- and it's a very minor one -- is that it doesn't mention Prince's original stagings of Stephen Sondheim's Company and Follies, two of the high-water marks in Broadway history. And if you think Phantom is a "downer," take Follies out for a spin sometime:

As for fan conventions, except for the annual Star Trek hootenanny at the Las Vegas Hilton, Vegas doesn't do such a great job of attracting them. We've got to work on that. And when Stargate SG-1/Stargate Atlantis/Sanctuary star Amanda Tapping graces a Vegas stage, we can say, "Job well done."

Deathtrap. Sometimes there are shows that warrant venturing away from the comfort zone of the Strip. Las Vegas Little Theatre's production of Ira Levin's Broadway hit is not one of them.

Twitter, ergo sum

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:40:00 -0700

OK, so we still can't upload photos but we can sort of link, thanks to a workaround.

In the meantime, Las Vegas Advisor is plentifully available on Twitter. We have ...

LVA_Tweet (1,791 followers). "This one aggregates [Question of the Day], S&G, [Today's News], Spotlight, and then whatever I throw in there manually," writes Webmistress Jessica, who's also solely responsible for the following three:

SinCityAdvisor (766 followers). Sample entry:

RT @Inkedmag Voting closes today for the Inked Awards. Vote now for tattooer of the year -> http://ow.ly/oPX3 #tattoo #ink #inked

ToplessVegas (567 followers). Sample entry:

Big Booty Urban Nite tonite @ Palomino - only nude club in Vegas with liquor license. Say hi to Foreplay for us ; ) #vegas #stripclub #nude

GreenVegas (251 followers). Sample entry:

RT @HuffPostGreen PETA is at it again: Check out this banned ad with Pamela Anderson (NSFW) http://bit.ly/Qppfj

Personally, I Tweet not. For starters, I lack the manual dexterity of Gov. Jim Gibbons (a prodigy capable of writing hundreds of text messages per day, earning him the sobriquet "Governor Busythumbs"). If the meme of the moment is "I Tweet, therefore I am," I shall have to settle for nonexistence, as per this music video:

Yup, that's Twitter phenom Crystal Chappell delivering the tag line. As for 72-year-old Guiding Light, it will be extinguished on Sept. 18, to be replaced on Oct. 5 with a new incarnation of Let's Make a Deal, starring Venetian headliner Wayne Brady (something for the tired housewife) and being taped at the Tropicana Las Vegas.

(Kinda neat how I brought it back 'round to the the Strip there, huh?)

Considering the lengths people will go to in order to get on a game show (and the near-riot that occurred when The Price is Right staged an anniversary show at The Rio), I'd say a Brady-enhanced Let's Make a Deal is economic stimulus in which Las Vegas can finally believe. Bummer about "La lumiere que guide" (™ Will Ferrell), though.

Any readers who have Twitter accounts and wish to be followed, please post in the "Comments" thread. And if the Comment-Eating Server thwarts you, I'll do a special S&G post on your behalf. Is that a deal?

Blimps on the radar

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:03:00 -0700

Dipping into the dispatch box, S&G finds the following tidbits, courtesy of the nice people at J.P. Morgan:

Alex Yemenidjian is serious about revamping the Tropicana Las Vegas. He's just inked a contract with Bally Technologies for a player-tracking system and other BYI goodies ...

... fading interest in MGM Grand Detroit has caused MGM Mirage to take it off the market. Also, with the company looking at price concessions to its CityCenter condo buyers (i.e., forfeiting money it was counting on to finance CityCenter), it may need to borrow against its Detroit palace, one of the few MGM properties still unencumbered ...

... Atlantic City, like Macao, is and will probably always be essentially a daytripper market. So there's symmetry in the fact that China State Construction Engineering Corp. has been signed to finish the stalled Revel project on the Boardwalk, to the tune of $1.7 billion. A July 11 opening is predicted. This is the best news to emerge from Atlantic City in quite a long while.

Speaking of good news, gaming revenues for Nevada's July are in and, basically, they don't suck. Yes, the Silver State was down 8% and the Strip was 11%. But June's year/year comparisons were far suckier (-15% on the Strip), so there's some consolation to be had. In fact, compared to a series of truly craptacular year/year comparisons -- all in double digits, except for last May -- it's darn near cause for celebration.

Table game drop was down overall but the casinos played lucky, particularly at baccarat. (Watch the first-season Mission Impossible episode "Odds on Evil," if you need a quick primer on this game. You'll get scintillating performances by Martin Landau and Barbara Bain in the bargain.)

Slot play is way down (-17.5% win on -15% handle) and North Las Vegas, bouyed by Aliante Station, was the only part of Clark County to have a positive month. Laughlin got hammered pretty badly (-19%) and neither Reno (-21%) nor South Lake Tahoe (-33%) seems likely to ever fully recover from tribal competition across the border, Tahoe especially. If there was a moment for some "unbundling" by overexposed companies, this is it.

Didn't get the memo. Would somebody break into the R&R Partners biosphere and let oxygen into the office of Billy Vassiliadis? "Billy V" was the author of this boneheaded pensée, which he shared with the Los Angeles Times:

"You've got to drop your rates, but you don't want to create a sense that this is a discount experience or that the experience itself has been diminished."

What the ... ? Las Vegas' recent success was built on the perception (and actuality) of a "discount experience," and lower prices are unlikely to "diminish" a tourist destination that is now synonymous with exclusivity and unaffordability. Vassiliadis, like Sheldon Adelson and the Las Vegas Convention & Visitors Authority, seems convinced that the current doldrums are -- to use my favorite Internet-board gaffe -- "a blimp [sic] on the radar."

They need to wrap their heads around the reality that 2004-like levels of business were damned good at the time (superb, in fact) and that Vegas needs to get back to the value-based messages that fueled the preceding 15 years of growth. Or, as David G. Schwartz writes in a particularly trenchant DieIsCast.com entry: "Of course, unpredictable events can make a hash of any predictions, so it’s possible that five years from now the casino industry will be employing 100,000 more people than it does today. That would be after the federal government offers Americans a $10,000 annual tax credit against travel to Las Vegas, and Las Vegas alone."

Seems like some folks in the marketing bidness should be taking Dr. Schwartz's classes.

Quote of the Day

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 10:57:00 -0700

"You have no idea what you're talking about at all." -- Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson, speaking for millions of Americans this morning. The subject? ESPN buffoon-in-residence Skip Bayless. (I'm convinced that the only reason ESPN keeps Bayless around is because his ignorant proclamations generate such a heavy volume of hate mail.)

From the mailbag #3

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 16:04:00 -0700

Reader Kerr_Mudgeon writes, re the case of a Columbia Sussex executive who was the victim of age discrimination:

She was 67 years old, for gosh sake! She should have taken her token (socialist) Social Security checks and gone on (fascist) Medicare, then waited for the inevitable pounding on her door by a (union) thug from (communist) ACORN who insisted on reading her (nonexistent) rights from the Death Book prior to making an appointment for her to stand before the (mandatory) Death Panel which would have assigned her to the most efficient (statist) queue for her to Take The Pill in order to eliminate Obama's $multi-trillion budget deficit - even though he's intentionally destroying the US economy in order to make himself Dictator of the World because he hates everybody and everything that is good = American (of which he is not one). As a matter of fact, if Jesus's will were in effect in this wicked world, she would not have been able to file her vicious law suit, because Tort Reform would have stopped any shady Trial Lawyers from taking her frivolous case!!!

Reader Jinx asks if I really thought X Burlesque was "awful." No, "awful" would be Anthony Cools' Ooh-la-la, thankfully deceased, although Cools threatens periodically to bring it back somewhere else (read: Tropicana). However, the only specifics I can remember of X were that it was hosted by the late Pudgy on the night I saw it and that the dancers were some of the most "augmented" I've seen on the Strip. At least Crazy Girls has two or three memorable numbers and a comfier showroom.

"Tired and boring," though, is the perfect description of Crazy Horse Paris. It's a depersonalization of the female form, like getting trapped in a Helmut Newton photo album. I don't think the astrology segment is in there anymore or, if it is, it's become thoroughly forgettable.

Thanks to reader Jeff in OKC for his shout-out to one of the truly great ladies of the silver screen, Stella Stevens. They don't make dames like her anymore (Christina Hendricks of Mad Men excepted) and, for your pleasure, here's the opening of Las Vegas Lady -- a festival of vintage Glitter Gulch neon.

Monday Night Foot-in-Mouthball

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:51:00 -0700

Watched as much as I could stand of Monday Night Football and don't know or care who won. However, somebody should start an over/under on how many words ESPN will allow Ron Jaworski to say during a game. As I fear, MNF newcomer Jon Gruden Would.Not.Shut.Up. "Jaws" was virtually benched while rookie Gruden got all the snaps.

As though Gruden's stentorian, mike-hogging, sandpaper-on-eardrums voice were not tiresome enough, play-by-play man Mike Tirico practically fellated "Chuckie" on air. "Jon, how did you know when ... ?" "Jon, why is it that ... ?" (Never mind several verbal tributes Gruden paid to his own gridiron perspicacity.) Unfortunately, the oleaginous Tirico did not -- to my knowledge -- ask, "Jon, how did it feel to get your ass fired by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?" Or perhaps, "Jon, do you realize how obnoxious you are and that this why is you have so many enemies in the NFL?"

Sigh. I miss Tony Kornheiser. Hell, I'd even be willing to put up with John Madden again. I'm that desperate. And it'd keep Frank Caliendo in business, which is never a bad thing.

No more "free" play?; Sahara sleaze; Donny & Tina; Criss F. Angel

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:29:00 -0700

In a decision that could have wide-ranging implications, Foxwoods Casino Resort and Mohegan Sun have been ordered to count (and pay taxes on) "free play" coupons as though they were revenue. This isn't a sock-it-to-the-players move like the one the Hawaii Legislature just pulled, taxing any money won at a casino (even if it's lost right back and then some). However, the ramifications for consumers if free-play coupons are targeted for taxation are discouraging. Play 'em while you've got 'em.

That stale "sleeping giant" analogy has been dusted off (and I use that verb advisedly) for some pimpery of the Sahara. On the glass half-full side, classy and romantic dinner spot House of Lords has been revived. It used to be a perfect place to take your Special Someone and hopefully will remain so. It's just off the main casino floor -- the most Moorish-themed part of the Sahara and the best "retro" experience to be had in town. (Almost everything else of newer vintage is bland grind-joint crud that needs to go.)

As for the empty half of the glass, that'd be the news that owner Sam Nazarian continues to go downmarket with a vengeance. Because nothing says "classic Vegas" like a tattoo parlor and a biker convention. Worse still, the tramp-stamp place will be in the otherwise elegant main lobby, with extended weekend tattoo-ing times ... since you never know when you want to do something you'll regret the rest of your life.

This "desert jewel rich with history and nostalgia" will continue that tradition with "a wet wife-beater contest, bikini tricycle races, a bourbon paired beef dinner with leatherwear fashion show, and an all-you-can-eat beer fest BBQ with one lucky rider winning a 2009 Harley Davidson Cross Bones bike." It's probably just a matter of time before Nazarian converts the big rear parking lot to a trailer park, too. That's Sam Nazarian for you: "class" with a capital "K."

"Tina Sparkle," flanked by Donny Osmond (evidently still in his pajamas) and Marie, who's looking damn fine from here.

It's old news that Donny Osmond is going to be on the next season of Dancing with the Stars, but I hadn't known he was going to be paired with Aussie Kym Johnson. The latter is known to my Better Half and I as "Tina Sparkle" (it's a Strictly Ballroom thing), which would make for great DWTS levity next season, except ...

... for the soul-crushing news that the gorgeous and talented Cheryl Burke has been twinned with the repulsive (and potentially prison-bound) Tom DeLay, one of "Casino Jack" Abramoff's band of Beltway scoundrels. (Was scum-tastic sleazemeister Rod Blagojevich not available?) Bad luck for Cheryl, good news for DeLay because Ms. Burke could be matched with a tree stump and get aforesaid stump into the final three. If she could carry a woodpile like Cristian de la Fuente to the finale, DeLay should be easy lifting. It looks like he's got the requisite arboreal quality.

Does Criss Angel have compromising photos of high-ranking MGM Mirage executives? The company's "branding" him now, evidently having convinced itself that Believe is beyond wonderful ... and never mind that 11-year-old O regularly outdistances Believe in ticket sales by several country miles. Having sunk $85 million into this Cirque du Soleil turkey, MGM is evidently going to stick with it until the last dancing rabbit is hung.

Stupid Politician Tricks

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:43:00 -0700

Please meet our contestants:

Sen. John Ensign (R-NV). "I think it would be inappropriate to start any other way than to say I'm sorry. I've said I'm sorry. I can't say I'm sorry enough. I made a big mistake in my life and I apologize once again to all of you." Thus spake Johnny Casino to 100 supporters in Fernley, Nev. Perhaps he was rehearsing those remarks for when he has to deliver them to his dad, Mike Ensign, whose Prairie Sky casino proposal was (rather too) coincidentally and summarily dismissed in Kansas this week.

Sen. Max Baucus (D-MT), techno-whiz and renowned psychic. "There were a couple of people in the crowd 'with YouTubes, Mr. Baucus added (meaning cameras), and he posited that the agitators were paid and probably from out of state. ('I could just sense it,' he said.)" Yes, my fellow Americans, it is this clueless old fogey whom Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) has made virtually the sole arbiter of the future of American health care. If you have reasons to vote for Reid next year, subtract one.

Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA), churchy casino opponent. The hypocrisy here is so rank that ... well, let's just go to the video (Jindal's up first, so you can skip the remainder if you like):

Ah yes, because the Baton Rouge-New Orleans corridor is so much more heavily traveled than I-15 between SoCal and Vegas. Besides, New Orleans is a renowned temple of virtue and Louisiana doesn't have any o' them vile casinos like Las Vegas. [/sarcasm]

Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA). Included for party balance and on the presumption that he continues to employ, at taxpayer expense, a raging termagant who hates, hates, HATES being called "Liz." And boy, will she let you know it.

What the ... ?

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:14:00 -0700

The following sounds like it was drafted by a Ministry of Propaganda somewhere but it is an honest-to-god Venetian/Palazzo* press release:

"On August 22, The Venetian and The Palazzo Las Vegas welcome the '2009 Miss Chinese Cosmos Pageant of the Americas.' Showcasing their beauty, compassion, vigor, fortitude, and intelligence, the 16 contestants will vie for the ‘Americas’ title to go on and compete in October 2009 for the worldwide competition of the '2009 Miss Chinese Cosmos Pageant.' Capture the excitement of the winner of the 2009 Miss Chinese Cosmos Pageant of the Americas following her crowning.

"The pageant will initially air on Phoenix Satellite Television throughout North America and South America then extended to Phoenix TV’s worldwide audience."

I see that "intelligence" takes a distant back seat to "beauty" among the criteria. Some things never change.

* -- The official stationery has been modified to include a subhead which spells out "The Venetian/The Palazzo®" in Chinese characters. (OK, it could be a recipe for all I know.) It will be interesting to see if this is the new "standard" look or just a one-off.

Privé: behind the juice; Chucky vs. Jaws; Wynn pages Scalia

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:46:00 -0700

Had the Nevada Gaming Control Board not come down upon Planet Hollywood like a hod of bricks, it's entirely probable that Privé would still be up to its scofflaw antics. That's because Clark County has a long history of looking the other way or, at most, administering the occasional love-tap on the wrist. But when Gaming Control lays down a half-million-buck fine, it's kind of hard for Clark County Manager Virginia Valentine's crew to keep their heads in the sand, pretending to be invisible.

Hence the revocation of Privé's license, quickly restored once the Titanic deck chairs were rearranged and the vessel rechristened the Lusitania. I feel much better now, don't you? (It should be noted that there's a sizeable constituency in Las Vegas that thinks the county and NGCB should turn a blind eye and laissesz les bon temps roulez. Hey, why don't we bring back bribery, too? If those officials are going to be ignoring the laws they're charged with enforcing, shouldn't they be compensated for it?)

Kudos to the ever-clever management of Cannery Casino Resorts. They've struck a deal with ESPN to allow simulcast of Monday Night Football on Galaxy Theaters' giant DMAX screen at the original Cannery. The festivities begin on Sept. 14 with a Bills/Patriots and Chargers/Raiders doubleheader. (OK, the nightcap sounds like a real dog, but MNF doesn't get the pick of the litter since moving to cable.)

A 60-foot-tall Terrell Owens? Scary! More worrisome still: Will egomaniac Jon Gruden hog the mike this season, elbowing aside co-analyst Ron Jaworski? Nobody breaks down a play like "Jaws" but will "Chucky" let him get a word in edgewise?

Steve Wynn must be getting a little apprehensive about how Labor Commissioner Michael Tanchek's long-running hearings on tip confiscation will play out. Wynn's benched the able Gregory Kamer, as well as Wynn Resorts' in-house counsel, in favor of Beltway attorney Eugene Scalia. And, yes, his dad is that Scalia. (Does anybody else think the Bush administration passed over Scalia Sr. for Chief Justice in favor of John Roberts because he -- unlike Roberts -- was too contentious to forge majority rulings? Just me? OK.)

Wait Until Dark (@ CSN) obtains tepid praise from the R-J. I saw it last Friday. What's my verdict? Tune in tomorrow!

There's only one Native American currently serving on the federal bench. Might Nevada make it two? Vito de la Cruz, S&G hopes you receive due consideration.

Economic parable: Once upon a time there were two thrift stores in my neighborhood. One, run by Catholic Charities, sold good merchandise. The other, Goodwill, peddled garbage. Guess which one went out of business? It's like the nonprofit version of the Walmart saga.

Quote of the Day

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 21:30:00 -0700

"Obama is deluded if he thinks this will win him any peace or respect or Republican votes. Weakness does not lead to consensus in Washington. It leads to more weakness. The Party of No intends to bring him down and will pile on. Obama has inadvertently demonstrated their strategy of vicious invective seems to be working."-- William Greider on President Obama's timid, appeasement-based approach to the health-care debate. I wish I could quote the whole thing but you can read it here.

Update: The previous blog entry, "This just in ..." has been augmented with the extended-play version of the "Heil Hitler" hoedown at Stoney's. In it, Connie McCrazy (or whatever her name is), reveals her 100-proof ignorance of several facts ... such as that federal funding of abortions is illegal. Probably shouldn't be, but it is.

Quote of the Day

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 11:44:00 -0700

"What makes the show powerful is not nostalgia for an America that few want to bring back — where women were most valued as sex objects or subservient housewives, where blacks were, at best, second-class citizens, and where the hedonistic guzzling of gas and gin went unquestioned. Rather, it’s our identification with an America that, for all its serious differences with our own, shares our growing anxiety about the prospect of cataclysmic change. Mad Men is about the dawn of a new era, and we, too, are at such a dawn. And we are uncertain and worried about what comes next." -- Frank Rich, on tonight's timely return of Mad Men and on its relevance. From where I sit, watching cable news, I wonder if more than a "few" want to bring back the America that Rich describes.

Fun with geography

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:29:00 -0700

Is there no end to Middle Eastern perfidy? You turn your back for even a minute and gosh darn it all if Egypt hasn't snuck through Israel and moved its whole doggone country to the shores of the Persian Gulf.

Looking on the brighter side, you can now say that a certain news channel couldn't find Iraq on a map and have it be literally accurate. Also, I guess this means our long-suffering troops are no longer stationed "in Iraq." It's too good to be true!

There's treachery afoot!

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 18:10:00 -0700

There I was, 90 minutes into composing a piece de résistance of blogging about palace intrigue surrounding Stanley Ho's sickbed ... when a defective link to some Macao TV coverage froze my computer. Dozens of links, paragraph upon paragraph ... all gone, force-quitted into oblivion. It's enough to make one retire to the nearest sickroom. Aaaaarrrrggghhh!

In the future, when I get the notion to engage in long-form blogorrhea, somebody please belabor me with the nearest heavy object until the fit passes.

Donald Trump, comedian

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 12:54:00 -0700

This is a joke, right? Three Atlantic City casinos for a slim $100 million? Then again, if Trump Entertainment Resorts financial advisor Lazard only values unloved Trump Marina at $24 million, maybe exiled chairman Donald Trump isn't so far out of the ballpark after all. What's even more surprising than the measliness of Trump's offer is the alacrity with which CEO Mark Juliano capitulated.

"My daughter Ivanka and I will work tirelessly to make this company great again," pronounced The Donald, displaying yet again his peerless ability to deliver drop-dead laugh lines with a perfect deadpan. He added, "As I have done in the past, we will make Atlantic City hot once more."

If anybody's going to make Atlantic City "hot," Donald Trump it's not -- especially since he's still scheming to get a piece of the Philadelphia slot-parlor action. For those of you waiting until 2020 to redeem your Trump Entertainment debt, the good news is that you'll (eventually) get 94 cents on the dollar. Holders of secured notes due in 2015 get wiped out, along with unsecured creditors. As usual, Trump gets the gold mine, the financiers get the shaft.

But the real winner is MyFox.com, which perhaps unwittingly filed this story under the perfect headline: "Cash for Clunkers."

McKee vs. Lerner

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:01:00 -0700

Actually, the headline misstates what was a very collegial -- if occasionally dissenting -- exchange of views between Union Gaming Group's Bill Lerner and Yr. Humble Blogger on Jon Ralston's Face to Face show. It was only my second-ever gig as a talking head -- and it shows. (Note to self: Consider Botox injections to paralyze overactive facial muscles.)

The ostensible subject of discussion was newly bankrupt Station Casinos, but it ranged as far afield as Singapore and Macao. Actually, we probably could have taped an entire week's worth of shows without exhausting the topic(s).

Lerner was a perfect gentleman, despite all the snarky things I've written about him in S&G (assuming he even reads it, which I doubt). I could certainly learn a thing or two from his poised on-air demeanor. I also found that, if you're in the middle seat on Face to Face, you need to "cheat" a little to your right and downstage or else you'll be masked in all the wide shots. And, as Ira David Sternberg taught me, don't ever look at the camera.

My ex cathedra pronouncements were, however, overshadowed by my alarmingly jowly appearance. When the video is posted, you will see that I look every one of my 200 lbs. -- and quite a few more! Since the episode isn't available on the Las Vegas Sun Web site yet, here's a preview:

Oh, my brain and mouth parted company on at least one occasion. I thought I said MGM Mirage would probably offload The Mirage for "one and a half billion to two billion dollars." What emerged, though, was "a half-billion to two billion dollars." So Jim Murren, wherever you are, I do not think you'd part with The Mirage for a (comparatively) measly $500 million ... just so we're good on that.

At least the high-angle shot at the end missed my bald spot. Thank God for small favors. The rebroadcast is starting; time to find out if I still know how to operate a VCR.

Fasolt

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 16:13:00 -0700

As I write this, LVA mascot Mojo is sunning herself on my office balcony (and doing #2, I fear), turning my mind to the animal kingdom. S&G readers are sometimes so kind as to ask after the health of my gargantuan Maine Coon cat, Fasolt, who briefly went missing last winter while the Significant Other and I were engrossed in an episode of The L Word.

I'm happy to report that Fasolt is in fine fettle, although sufficiently arthritic as to require "pet steps" (pictured) to get onto the bed. He continues to tolerate his stepbrother, Mr. Bit, and to spat with his stepsister, Shadow. He's also growing more neurotic with age, to the point where avoids the litter box like the plague. Some stopgap solutions have been devised, through trial and error, but the occasional father-son chat about "inappropriate elimination" still has to be conducted.

When it's dinner time, he sits (sometimes) patiently at my right knee, awaiting the table scraps that are his due as Senior Cat in Residence. He also likes to "watch" TV with me and, if I'm working at home, he's usually just to right of my desk chair or -- more problematically -- in my lap. And if he feels there's been too much Internet surfing, Fasolt sits on the mouse pad to put a stop to it.

What's this to do with gambling ... well, nothing. But in my not-impartial opinion, Fasolt's native smarts exceed those of certain gaming-sector CEOs.

Longoria meets CityCenter

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:44:00 -0700

A power outage really f-ed up our computers here and destroyed a finished S&G entry ("Save," my ass!). So, to lighten the atmosphere, here's actress Eva Longoria, who stars in a TV show I cannot stand, trying to look excited about a model of CityCenter:

The two gentlemen are CityCenter CEO Bobby Baldwin and Crystals at City Center prexy Frank Visconti. You've got to feel sorry for them because if Eva Longoria's in the photo, you might as well stay home. Ms. Longoria is tactfully posed to conceal the newly truncated Harmon, aka Baldwin's Bump. The actress was in town to tout the opening of a Strip branch of her Beso restaurant, which will be in Crystals. Yeah, I know, like you cared about that.

OK, so it's not another Carmen Electra picture, but I'm doing the best I can, guys. (Photo courtesy of Kirvin Doak)

Tamares' crown jewels

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 13:45:00 -0700

Ian Sutton posted this today at GamingFloor.com and I couldn't resist snurching it. Sandwiched between footage of the Lady Luck and other Downtown detritus is a long, loving look at those two fine Tamares Group dereli ... er, acquisitions: the Queen of Hearts and the Hotel Nevada. The latter has long been closed as was (supposedly) the QoH. But I saw some lights on at the old Queen when we drove past it Tuesday night, so who knows?

The bigger question is why Tamares continues to let these eyesores fester, especially with nearby development on Oscar Goodman's famous 61 acres proceeding apace. It's past time to knock this crap down. Even empty land would be an improvement. Ditto the Lady Luck. For a three-syllable solution to that gargantuan hulk, I defer to the time-honored wisdom of Jimmie J.J. Walker:

Vegas (isn't the only place that) needs Carmen Electra

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:51:00 -0700

Occasionally, S&G readers allow me to share their off-list bon mots with the general public. Such is the case with one Pacific Rim-based gentlewoman who's familiar with the sights and sounds of Macao. Evidently, it's a place where voluptuousness is craved all the more for being in short supply. Hence, the gyrations of a certain Carmen Electra at Crazy Horse Paris prompted this sage observation:

"Macau sure could do with some of this type of sizzle"

No doubt ... but we need Ms. Electra here. (And aren't you gents glad S&G was given a non-gratutious rationale to post yet another photo of Carmen?)

On a serious note, the Electra guest gig stirred up local media "buzz" far out of proportion to its duration. In terms of oomph for the buck, it's given the Holly Madison push at Planet Hollywood a serious run for its money: more evidence that stars are born, not fabricated. Whatever one thinks of Ms. Electra's troubled personal life, she's a "stage creature" and Vegas could use a few more right now.

Supporting the troops. Big ups to the El Cortez for giving $15 dining credits to active-duty servicemen (and women) at its Café Cortez and Flame steakhouse. Our military is grossly underpaid for guarding our liberties (such as appreciating Carmen Electra), so anything the casino industry does by way of a "thank you" deserves S&G's salute.

If you're in the Reno area and are an aficianado of the stellar cable TV service known as Cinemax, I consider it my civic duty to alert you to the following fact: Monique Parent (aka "The Thinking Man's Sex Symbol") will be spokesmodeling -- or something of that ilk -- at a Reno-area Costco next week.

Among the prolific Parent's many titles is the Citizen Kane of erotic films, Play Time ... or so they tell me. <cough> So if you've admired Ms. Parent's fine, wry thesping in Dark Secrets or The Key to Sex, stop by and show your gratitude.

Just a suggestion.

To blog or not to blog?

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 13:52:00 -0700

That is the question for today. It's not the larger, existential question of whether the opinions of one curmudgeonly blogger amount to a hill of beans in this world, especially when even the village idiot has a cyber-soapbox.

No, it's a more practical quandary. My cup runneth over with prospective topics -- and with pending deadlines. To wit, a theatre review and a news story for the July 23 CityLife, reviews to stockpile for Mike Shackleford's forthcoming WizardOfVegas.com Web site, three Question of the Day topics, and a revision of an old article I wrote for Washington National Opera in the wayback.

Say ... one of the QoDs upon which I'm working asks for instances of complaints about Harrah's Entertainment. Care to chip in? You'll be duly credited (or not, if you prefer). Actually, the back pages of S&G have been a marvelous source of information on this topic, due in no small part to your contributions. Actor Ben Browder (Stargate SG-1) says that the most important element of any story is the audience. That goes double for S&G.

Also, in the (I hope) very near future, there will be some original S&G reportage on labor negotiations at Caesars Palace, among other topics. In the meantime, I have a week of GamingFloor.com to catch up with, plus wrapping my brain around LinkedIn and Facebook, when there's a moment to spare. Given the exponentially faster advance of technology (compared to say, 1965), I can but conclude that it's a Star Trek world and we're just living in it ... long and prosperously, one hopes.

In the meantime, if the blogorrhea is less generous than average, I beg your indulgence.

All-Star Game: Not much to say about it, other than its relative brevity was merciful. (Never saw so much first-pitch swinging in my life.) Contrary to expectation, the most interesting aspect was the usually tiresome pre-game extravaganza. Sheryl Crow gave a master class in how the National Anthem should be sung and President Obama threw a rainbow curve the likes of which I haven't seen since the heyday of Sid Fernandez.

And it did bring a lump to my throat to see our nation's first black president shaking hands with Bob Gibson and Lou Brock, venerated figures in the Cardinal-worshiping McKee family and two players whose prime coincided with the apex of the Civil Rights movement in the U.S. I'd love to know how much Brock and Gibson think our country has advanced since then. Oh, and Tim McCarver was actually bearable. Wonders never cease.

Quote of the Day

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 13:41:00 -0700

"Driving to the airport, thinking we take for granted what can only be dreamed [of] in other parts of the world." -- from the Twitter feed of NBC News' correspondent-at-large, Ann Curry. (The hardest thing about giving up cable TV would be relinquishing Ms. Curry's soothing delivery of "news of fresh disaster" on the Today show.) Even here in Las Vegas, poverty is rotting the city from the inside and will become more and more visible on the Strip. Just this morning, I saw a homeless man being jostled awake outside Fashion Show Mall.

Back from Michigan

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:25:00 -0700

With the cats fed and their indiscretions cleaned up, I can report that I have just returned from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, land of indescribable scenic beauty and intermittent Internet access. I spent the better part of five days in the bosom of a truly wonderful -- and big -- family, and only one did I hear the dreaded words, "Michael Jackson." And, lemme tell ya, the annual Pioneer Days fireworks display in Negaunee, Mich., put Las Vegas' most recent Fourth of July shoot 'em up to shame.

Along with souvenirs, I also brought home a nasty cold, so I beg your indulgence as a I get back up to speed. While on the subject of bacteria, I see that "Johnny Casino" has dragged his dad, ex-Circus Circus coporate ringmaster Mike Ensign, into his increasingly sordid sex-fund scandal. Oh, and S&G was way ahead of Huffington Post on this angle. As my U.P. pal Sydney Dorow would say, "Score!"

Wynn vs. Dealers: The final (?) round of the tip-confiscation controversy played out last week. The Transport Workers Union is right about one thing for sure: If Wynn Resorts prevails, its policy will spread like wildfire throughout the state.

Peepshow 2.0: The second time's the charm. As for nearby After the Show, how much you like it will probably be in direct proportion to how many drinks you've had.

Blood: The Last Vampire: Internet responsive to this Chinese-Argentinian-French sanguinary spectacle has been universally derisive. So, wouldn't you know, I liked it.

Off to Michigan

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 00:04:00 -0700

If you notice an attenuation in the S&G blogorrhea, it's because I'm taking a view days to visit terra incognita: the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I'll be spending an extended weekend in the bucolic environs of the greater Marquette area. And, if I start to climb the walls, I might even poke my snout into the nearest tribal casino.

I'll be in a neck of the woods that doesn't have cable TV, which will provide needed respite from the two most tiresome "news" obsessions of the moment: anything and everything related to Michael Jackson, and the hidden meaning in the convoluted locutions of Sarah Palin. Whatever her virtues, the Great Communicator she ain't. (For unimprovable concision, my favorite American president is Calvin Coolidge, he who said, "The business of America is business." A political philosophy in six words. Hard to beat.)

City slicker that I am, I'm sure I'll stick out like a sore thumb in towns like Ishpeming. Sort of like a dog nursing a cocktail ...

So whose leg do I have to hump to get a dry martini up there?

House of wax

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 13:05:00 -0700

I call your bluff, comrade. As you may have heard, casinos in Russia can stay open by converting to poker rooms. A tip of the fedora goes to reader mike_ch for pointing out this story, which delineates some of the pros and cons. In Vegas, even the strongest poker rooms don't generate nearly the body count that table games and slots do. But Russian casinos are much smaller and at least a few might be able to hang on, depending on the size of the rake.

It's mighty big of the Kremlin, by the way, to concede that poker is a sport, not a game of chance. Now if only Uncle Sam would do the same ...

Rescue the Riv! Random observation from driving down Las Vegas Boulevard last night: The Riviera suddenly looks so much better and more classic when juxtaposed with the incredible bulk that is Fontainebleau. Land values have fallen, RIV stock is worthless and the property itself provides ready access to the Las Vegas Convention Center.

Time, methinks, for Penn National to get off its duff and make an offer ... unless Penn CEO Peter Carlino is waiting for the Riviera to go into bankruptcy, so he can pluck the carcass at auction. Then again, if Carlino really thinks that Planet Hollywood and some or all of Station Casinos are low-hanging fruit, who am I to second-guess him?

Who's the dummy? The purpose of our excursion was to attend an incredibly pointless media event at Madame Tussauds at The Venetian. If there was a point, it was so that the assembled media hordes would serve as extras for yet another episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List. A waxwork of Ms. Griffin was being unveiled and suffice it to say that Wax!Griffin looks far better than Real!Griffin. (I must be Officially Jaded, for I scarcely gave the comedienne a second glance.) The various and sundry female impersonators on hand -- led by Frank Marino -- had clearly taken greater care of their appearances than Griffin had of hers. There was, in fact, just about every stripe of LGBT humanity on hand last night, so it was almost more Rainbow Coalition than media event.

What excitement there was went on outside, where a smallish crowd surrounded the Michael Jackson statue. Tributes were in evidence but everything was tasteful and no hysteria was to be seen. As for Mme. Tussauds itself, I've been to the original one in London, and I recall its wax figures as being more believable and the setting itself as more atmospheric (especially the tableaux of infamous British homicides and regicides) ... but that was 35 years ago this month.

Give Vegas Tussauds props for having a Joan Rivers dummy who looks more animated than her real-life counterpart, as seen on the NBC sitcom Celebrity Apprentice. All that's missing is to give the waxwork Rivers a voice box that periodically squawks, "A pokuh playah! A pokuh playah!" Still, we easily spent more time checking out the doodads and gizmos in Brookstone than we did in the wax museum.

World's stupidest couple found

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:02:00 -0700

Actually, they're pretty much who you thought they were. At least their moronic gullibility gave rise to an unusually witty Twitter posting (by Daily Fiasco.com): "Spencer Pratt: 9/11 an inside job. Conspiracy theorists nationwide rush to say it was probably bin Laden after all."

Big Brother 1, Casinos 0: Round 2

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:47:00 -0700

Journalists are working gambling metaphors overtime as they chronicle Vladimir Putin's casino crackdown. Although my previous CNN link dead-ended (pun unintended) are yet more Michael Jackson necroph ... er, coverage, that proved a blessing in disguise. The best and most comprehensive short-form report on the situation in Russia comes from ...

... Al-Jazeera, believe it or not. If you've got a half-hour to spare, Russia Today goes in-depth on the situation. (Ian Sutton has been aggregating links with remarkable thoroughness over GamingFloor.com, if you want even more coverage of Boss Putin's power play.)

For an insight into the paternalistic mentality that led to the Putin Putsch, you can't do better than this:

Not that Americans can afford the luxury of smugness. Consider this Philadelphia TV station's condescending report on Atlantic City, with its snide, disparaging, cliché-ridden attitude toward both gambling and the players themselves:

S&M at Station

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 14:35:00 -0700

Bondholders of Station Casinos must have an infinite capacity for suffering. Either that or CEO Frank Fertitta III is such a virtuosic Pied Piper that they'll follow him anywhere. It's difficult to rationally explain why they're letting a superior offer from Boyd Gaming collect dust, opting instead for the umpteenth forbearance in six months.

Among the drawbacks to the "prepackaged bankruptcy" that Station is languidly pursuing are that it would leave current Station leadership in place, to say nothing of its enablers at Colony Capital. Also, once Colony's share of the promised $244 million in new equity is subtracted, what the Fertitta clan kicks in is likely to be chicken feed -- at least when compared to the half-billion clams various and sundry family members took out of the company during its catastrophic LBO.

S&G never, ever advocates violence ... but if Station's debtors are getting antsy, we'd completely understand if they took a cue from the Stewie Griffin collection method:

For "fake moustaches," mentally substitute "dog tracks in Massachusetts."

Seven essential Web sites ... and other news

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:23:00 -0700

Yes, you too can can be a gaming-industry blogger, with the help of but a few absolutely indispensable Web sites. The ones that I check Monday-Friday without fail (and, as they say on Dancing with the Stars, "in no particular order") are:

GamingFloor.com: The best aggregator of casino news from around the globe, especially since Editor Ian Sutton has an eye for the bizarre. Tons of eye-catching video, too, plus Ian's own on-the-spot reporting from far-flung venues like G2E Asia.

DieIsCast.com: Very eclectic but Dr. David G. Schwartz pounces on fascinating (and not very obvious) stories, often making droll pop-culture connections ... which frequently involve Star Trek.

TwoWayHardThree: Terrific discussions of casino architecture, intermingled with scoops that eagle-eyed moderator Hunter Hillegas snaps up -- not infrequently beating the local papers to the punch. His readers/forum contributors are some of the best-informed you'll encounter.

Las Vegas Sun: You're not going to find better gaming coverage this side of the Wall Street Journal and labor reporter Michael Mishak is one of the finest in the business. (The R-J's pathologically anti-union stance is probably to blame for its feeble coverage of workplace issues, as that paper's editorial-page psychoses leach into its news priorities.) Unlike its cross-town rival, the Sun doesn't take its marching orders from the Chamber of Commerce, either.

Press of Atlantic City: In the land of the blind, the one-eyed paper is king. Oh, and Press: Your new "reader-friendly" redesign blows donkeys. But if there's news a-brewin' on the Boardwalk, this is the first place to look. For more selective -- but in-depth-- coverage, Suzette Parmley in the Philadelphia Inquirer is tops in the region.

Vegas Happens Here: No morning is complete without a jolt of news from the indefatigable Steve Friess. His blog isn't casino-centric but he's quick to spot a breaking story or one that might fly under the radar ... and his Min-and-Bill relationship to Steve Wynn makes for tremendous ongoing fun. Lots of pictures, too.

Las Vegas Review-Journal: Only because it exists (which, existentially, is open to debate). Like the elephant in your parlor, it must be acknowledged and sometimes its slave-driven reporters turn in exceptional work, despite their editors' best [sic] efforts to beat them down. (Inexcusably, last week the entire gaming staff was detailed to chronicle seemingly every hand played at the World Series of Poker.) The paper's shining achievement was Joan Whitely's exposé of dangerous corner-cutting at Harrah's Entertainment. Relative newcomer Arnold Knightly has ferreted out some laudable scoops, too. Howard Stutz, look to thy laurels!

Honorable mentions go to three sites that I can't always check on a daily basis, but which should not pass without notice ...

Pechanga.net: An exhaustive (and sometimes exhausting) aggregration -- but it's a sieve which captures many tribal and regional gaming stories that would otherwise escape notice.

VegasTodayandTomorrow.com: Anybody -- and I mean anybody -- interested in the history and future of Sin City should have this site bookmarked. Mark Adams pores over the Web and any other source at his reach, presenting what bids fair to be the definitive online museum of Las Vegas' evolution. Our "Question of the Day" about the never-built Conrad was greatly aided by Adams' preexisting work. And the Coke-vs.-Pepsi map is must-see Internet.

The Movable Buffet: More showbiz- than bidness-focused. However, in a Vegas blogosphere infested with sycophants, Richard Abowitz provides a needed corrective to the local fawning over the celebutard of the moment. If you wish to following the continuing meltdown of Criss F. Angel step by step, Abowitz is your man. He even makes a colloquy with Holly Madison interesting. The chap's a miracle worker!

Farrah Fawcett, R.I.P.: One of the greatest of Seventies icons has died, at age 62. I was always more of a Cheryl Ladd fan myself, but Fawcett showed herself to be seriously "misunderestimated," especially in her Oscar-worthy turn as Robert Duvall's adulterous wife in The Apostle. Haven't seen it? Rent it! Ditto the severely underrated See You in the Morning, a still from which graces the Los Angeles Times obituary. Speaking of movies ...

Scott Walker 30 Century Man: A rock-and-roller who draws frequent comparisons to Samuel Beckett? Meet reclusive American expat Scott Walker and discover that the analogy has surprising validity. His handsome baritone is also one of the most compelling singing voices to emerge from the U.S. And speaking of singing ...

Patti LuPone's Orleans gig last weekend may just be the downpayment on a long-term deal. If so, it'd be one of the best shows in town and it fits the Orleans Showroom hand in glove. If only LuPone would drop from her set list that anthem to codependency, Oliver!'s "As Long As He Needs Me." She unloads so many mannerisms upon it that it's like Bill Sikes pummeling Nancy. Still and all, I'd take it over a second visit to American Superstars (also reviewed). Aaaaaaaaaaannndddd speaking of shows ...

I've received a critique of the Harmon Theater's new Monday-night, witching-hour potpourri, After the Show. While I'm not at liberty to quote any of it, suffice it to say that After the Show is described in such hallucinatory and pejorative terms that the bottom line is, even if you're a local resident and thus get in free, you've still paid too much. Better we should stay home and watch Jon Stewart, with a Conan O'Brien chaser.

Danny Gans: Still dead -- but not yet resting in peace. For the truly morbid, the R-J has published the 911 call made by his widow (as did the Sun). Listen if you care to; I didn't.

"Peep" slow

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 02:44:00 -0700

Saturday night's 8 p.m. performance of Peepshow played to an audience one might describe as "pitiful." If the auditorium was even half-full, I'll eat my hat. Planet Hollywood has got to be beseeching the heavens that the curiosity/trainwreck factor of adding Holly Madison will get bums in the seats and that Shoshana Bean will keep them coming back. We're talking wing + prayer, folks.

Rump faction: Mel B. with the star of Peepshow.

If you've not seen "original cast" Peepshow, I'll confine myself for now to two observations: A) it's a 75-minute tribute to Mel B.'s derriere -- which is admittedly spectacular -- and; B) Kelly Monaco has the easiest paycheck in show business. Her once -- and future? -- General Hospital costar Nancy Lee Grahn was sitting in front of us.

As star sightings go, that wasn't quite up there with Rita Rudner taking in Sunday night's performance of Patti LuPone: The Gypsy in My Soul at The Orleans. If a meteorite had, God forbid, fallen on the Orleans Showroom, Las Vegas' gay community would have been annihilated. The same projectile could strike Peepshow and miss all four spectators in attendance.

World's angriest person found

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:56:00 -0700

... and she works for Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA). This bit of Countdown Theatre was simply too funny not to share:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Better than sex

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 17:37:00 -0700

Even a prairie wildfire couldn't keep pace with the scandal that's charring what's left of Sen. John Ensign's political career. Cynthia Hampton's dalliance with the dashing Circus Circus scion was quite lucrative for the Hampton family overall. It's all very reminiscent of the way European monarchs used to sustain their mistresses and the latter's complaisant husbands.

Quoth The Associated Press: "An Associated Press review of federal records showed Cynthia Hampton, 46, received a promotion and a pay raise around the time of the affair at one political entity controlled by Ensign and a pay raise at a second."

The prevailing narrative has been that Ensign was being squeezed by Mr. Hampton for hush money. But it looks like quite a bit of such lucre had already changed hands -- particularly the cuckolded husband's severance payment, which coincided with the end of the affair.

As with the downfall of prostitute-patronizing Eliot Spitzer, it's not the sex, it's the hypocrisy (and the possible misuse of taxpayer dollars). Like Spitzer, Ensign loved to mount his soapbox and lecture America on personal morality -- with the sanctity of marriage being a favorite hobbyhorse. If you haven't already, expect to hear quite a bit about "Johnny Casino" and his flexible moral standards when the shoe is/was on then-Sen. Larry Craig's foot rather than his own. Like this ...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

This morning I thought it was too soon to write obituaries for Ensign's political career. This afternoon, I'm not so sure.

D'Amato shoots, he scores!

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 17:03:00 -0700

Former Sen. Alfonse D'Amato (R-NY) has become an energetic champion of the online-poker community. Enjoy his virtuosic and highly entertaining verbal blitzkrieg against the Obama administration's misguided continuation (nay, escalation) of Bush-era anti-casino prosecutions. I'm skeptical of his projection of $20 billion in annual tax revenues from regulated Internet gambling, but otherwise I'm with "the Fonz" all the way.

In case you're joining this story already in progress, here's some exposition:

Thanks to Fox Business News for latching onto this story and devoting so much airtime to it.

Macao" rises again?

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 16:11:00 -0700

Block out the shopworn, mostly useless generalities coming from Las Vegas Sands and groove to Macao's scintillating casinos, recoil from its thick blanket of smog, and take some heart from Credit Suisse's prediction of an upturn in VIP play in the Chinese casino protectorate.

A contemporaneous Australian TV report -- which can't be embedded, alas -- was even more striking, especially in the stunning contrast between the sleek architectural beauty of Melco Crown International's new flagship, City of Dreams, and the fugliness of Sheldon Adelson's nearby monoliths. Cheers to Melco Crown for bringing a needed infusion of taste to the Cotai Strip™.

Train to Nowhere II

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 13:59:00 -0700

Sig Rogich's choo-choo to nowhere won't really be the privately funded enterprise that it's being sold as, the Las Vegas Sun helpfully explains. Bottom line: Rail transportation is inherently unprofitable, so you and I will be ponying up for the R&R Express (as in Rogich & Reid) sooner or later.

Vegas on TV: Our fair city is showcased on Dateline NBC tonight, but not in a nice way. Look for the cameo appearance by Bally's Las Vegas in the pimp-daddy segment. Judging by the brazen attitude of the miscreants shown in this morning's preview on Today, they've taken that "What happens here, stays here" bromide for gospel truth.

Case Bets: Colony Capital, Siegfried & Roy, Obama smacks poker players

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 12:24:00 -0700

"Bats hang over the doorway to the building that housed Mr. Jackson's private arcade; guano stains the threshold." That's how the Wall Street Journal describes Michael Jackson's decaying Neverland Ranch. It gets even freakier from there, with the WSJ receiving a tour of the compound that might be described as Charles Foster Kane meets Pennywise.

Neverland is the latest can't-miss investment play by Colony Capital, whose crackerjack CEO, Tom Barrack, says: "We think we made a very smart real-estate deal ..." Then again, that's probably how Barrack felt about his acquisition of Station Casinos, which just took a bath on some of its land holdings.

Even by Vegas standards, Neverland is way up there on the Bizarre-o-Meter. Too bad Colony can't find a Native American tribe that can claim it as their ancestral land and have it taken into trust. It'd make a casino-based destination resort so demented and perversely infantile, Sin City would be green with envy.

The most blackly funny line in the video comes when the narrator says Colony is taking steps "to remove the taint of scandal." Man, there's no bleach on Earth powerful enough to eradicate that stain. Infamy, like nuclear waste, has a half life of forever.

A Tiger's Tale: Those cats of Siegfried & Roy's were endangering life and limb almost 30 years ago. And gosh, whatever became of the Siegfried & Roy IMAX movie that never screened locally? CineVegas, how can you let this introuvable escape your programming grasp? Maybe Johnny Brenden will let you rent his IMAX screen ... provided you show the movie at 7 a.m. or thereabouts.

So much for the conventional wisdom that Internet poker, at the very least, might find a sympathetic hearing from our poker-loving POTUS. The Justice Department's jihad against online casinos has taken a particularly nasty turn. The DoJ is striking at the soft underbelly of the business, going after players. So if you won $$ fair and square on the 'Net, too bad: Uncle Sam is going to relieve you of your money and if you don't like it, it's not like you can call the cops.

As I. Nelson Rose points out, we're getting into a legal gray area here -- not least because the federal injunction was brought in New York State, where online wagering isn't illegal. Let's give the banks the benefit of the doubt: They probably had little choice to go along with this draconian and unconscionable action, yet another intrusion by Big Brother. Rep. Barney Frank's proposed UIGEA rollback can't happen soon enough.

Adding insult to injury, the Obama administration is going to the mat on behalf of one of Bill Clinton's worst mealy-mouthed compromises -- the Defense of Marriage Act. In doing so, it's resorting to some of the most troglodytic arguments imaginable. Like: Equal rights are bad 'cause they cost the guvmint money 'n stuff.

Heavens, yes, just imagine how expensive it would be if we'd given women and African Americans the vote. What ... we did? I need to read my memos more closely.

So culturally benighted am I that I had to have someone explain to me who this Jon & Kate are and why they are the object of so much fascination. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. At least they haven't "hosted" at a Vegas nightclub yet ... have they?

Wheels coming off 'Peepshow'

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:45:00 -0700

Will Planet Hollywood's big-ticket extravaganza, Peepshow, even last until my July 2 CityLife review runs? Just maybe ... but I don't like the odds for this one making it to the six-month mark.

Various types of faintheardness have dogged this production from the get-go. A Vegas T&A show sans toplessness? Much-ballyhooed headliners signed to only three-month contracts? Peepshow had "low expectations" writ large.

Peepshow: Soon with 100% less Mel B.?

As the revue awaits the arrival of Holly Madison and her two left feet, it's losing Dancing with the Stars winner Kelly Monaco, who will presumably reclaim her niche on General Hospital. However, as Monaco's headed out the door, she might trip over the luggage of co-star Mel B. The DWTS finalist and ex-Scary Spice is reportedly being dropped, leaving Robert Earl's casino-resort with less than two weeks to scare up a replacement and get her prepped.

This unwelcome news doesn't come as a complete surprise after Norm! reported that Mr. Brown was becoming a major nuisance over at Planet Ho. But it does leave the problem of a headliner-driven show whose "name" talent will now be a woman best known for being the armpiece of Hugh Hefner and Criss F. Angel, starring opposite ... who? Earl & Co. could revamp Peepshow as an out-and-out nudie act, though director Jerry Mitchell might prefer swallowing hemlock to that bitter pill. More importantly, a star-free Peepshow would have greater difficulty justifying its ticket price.

Can Peepshow be rescued from being an expensive bust (so to speak)? Dunno, but we'll soon be out of non-gratuitous excuses to post photos of Mel B.

Back ...

Thu, 28 May 2009 11:08:00 -0700

... from the big cardio-scare on Tuesday. Modern medicine ran its usual battery of tests on my ticker -- including one that'll put a good fright into you, aptly called a "stress test" -- and pronounced it in good working order. I also got punctured with needles in no less than seven different places (included a botched IV that rendered my left hand temporarily swollen with saline solution).

So what went wrong? The closest anyone could come was an educated surmise of acid-reflux disease. The conditions were propitious [sic]: I hadn't eaten in the better part of a day, and had just returned from an errand on a hot, fetid afternoon. At least that's the most convincing explanation I was offered for my sudden malady.

In any event, some changes of diet and routine will be in order. A few other random observations about spending 24 hours in the hospital: A) the emergency room was a cross between Kafka and Purgatory -- some patients had been waiting 10 hours or more for treatment; B) every other patient I encountered was more afflicted than I was, so I was counting my blessings the whole time there; C) once you got past the emergency room (from Purgatory to Paradise?), one was treated as warmly as possible; and, D) even the splitting headache caused by the application of a nitro patch was a minor affliction compared to being subjected to six hours of the Discovery Channel.

These included a marathon of Deadliest Catch, which ought to be called Whiniest Catch. You'd think guys who chose such a demanding occupation would put a lid on their self-pity when the cameras are rolling ... but if complaining and blame-shifting were Olympic events, these fellows would take home the gold, silver and bronze medals.

My favorite was the captain so incompetent he sails across his own fishing line, then has the effrontery to lean out the porthole and yell at his crew, like was their fault. Reminds me of a boss I once had, come to think of it.

My deepest gratitude to everyone who wrote or called, expressing their concern. Some of the notes are so kind, I'm almost abashed to read them. Anyway, a huge pile of work awaits but I didn't want to tuck into it before thanking you from the bottom of my ultrasound-scrutinized heart.

(Slots A) Fun Fact

Fri, 15 May 2009 12:22:00 -0700

I've just read that the 2008 cash flow for Slots A Fun, the crown jewel of what used to be Circus Circus Enterprises, was $2.8 million. Which means that current owner MGM Mirage could justify a sale price of $22.5 million-$28 million. (Penn National CEO Peter Carlino, this is your chance!)

Then again, MGM could sell Slots A Fun four times over and probably still not recoup the cost of its Criss Angel vanity project, Believe.

Atlantic City gets a monorail. And other infrastructural-type stuff. That $3.6 billion would probably be better invested into building two or three new casinos, not to mention getting rid of those Colony C(r)apital grind joints.* New Jersey Gov. Jon Corzine (D) thinks Atlantic City's recovery is on the way. But as long as the market breaks down -- as its revenues do -- into Borgata and Everything Else, "recovery" will just be a euphemism for "much slower rate of decline."

* -- If banks won't underwrite new development there, why -- laws permitting -- shouldn't the state? I'm just askin'. The alternative is pretty bleak.

This just in: Yes, TV ads for impotence drugs (think of "Viva Las Vegas" debased to "Viva Viagra"), with their tacky innuendi, are embarrassing (albeit not as much as those for incontenince drugs). But Congress has slightly better things to do that adopt the proposal of Rep. Jim Moron, er, Moran (D-VA) to force them off the air ... least not untl it's amended to outlaw any TV programming featuring the bloated visage, voice and ego of failed casino boss Donald Trump. (Sorry; can't link to the Yahoo News video. I tried.)

QoD'd out

Tue, 12 May 2009 18:03:00 -0700

My apologies if the blogorrhea has been insubstantial of late. Not only do I have a five-day GamingFloor.com mountain of headlines to surmount but I've been deeply enmeshed in other projects, mostly for our Question of the Day feature. For the latter, I've been writing about the Frontier strike, the late Danny Gans, the underwriting of jackpots, more Danny Gans, and that pre-Brokeback Mountain couple, Vegas Vic and Wendover Will, not to mention their love child, River Rick. (Yes, there really is such a neon personage.)

In the meantime, you may have heard that J.J. Abrams' Star Trek film hit warp speed on opening weekend, raking in approximately $76 million. In honor of this accomplishment, here's vintage Trek ...

... in the style of Gerry & Sylvia Anderson. Since my 48-episode trip down the memory lane that is Space: 1999 ended last night, I'll be in withdrawal for a while yet. Damn you, Fred F. Freiberger!

A (much different) Gans question

Fri, 08 May 2009 14:40:00 -0700

Story after story on the tragic decease of Danny Gans has used one or another variant of this phrase, "named 'Las Vegas Entertainer of the Year' 11 years in a row." Most recently, it popped up in a Las Vegas Review-Journal tribute. What I want to know is who kept bestowing this 11-time (or more) accolade? And I've not been the only one asking.

It's simple Journalism 101 to be able to cite the bestower of this honor. For all we know right now, it might as well have come from The Man Upstairs. And was Gans "voted" that honor 11 times? Or was he "named" it "12 years in a row"? )(CNN opted for the 11-year version.) Does anybody even know? It's like some kind of self-perpetuating legend.

The obit in the New York Times, significantly, steers clear of the issue, though it's otherwise quite a trove of Gans-iana. Same with the Los Angeles Times obituary. Both papers clarify that it wasn't Gans who rejected Broadway but the other way around: His 1995 B'way show closed after only six performances ... which is probably at least 500% longer than Criss Angel's Believe would last on the Great White Way.

If newspapers and TV stations are going to keep parroting this superlative, it'd be nice if they could provide even an iota of context. (Gans is alleged to have had only two predecessors as "Entertainer of the Year," by the way, one of them a drag queen -- and, no, it wasn't Frank Marino.) The blogosphere is often accused of being a "giant echo chamber," but in this case it's the sacrosant MSM which is performing that function.

To Gans or not to Gans? That is the question.

Fri, 08 May 2009 12:00:00 -0700

A week after the demise of Strip entertainer Danny Gans, fissures are starting to appear in the cone of silence that's enshrouded his untimely exit from this vale of tears -- and let's just say it's not pretty. The Las Vegas Review-Journal is hamstrung by a potential conflict of interest because its book-publishing arm is slated to bring out Gans' memoirs, but the Las Vegas Sun has been less circumspect and the blogosphere is buzzing like bees. Already, war has broken out between two cyber-journalists and things promise to only get worse.

What do you think? Would you care to read a boiled-down summary of "The Investigation So Far" (as TNT reruns of Law & Order bill their mid-episode recaps) or is it better to remain aside from the fray? My mind keeps looping an unanswerably pithy aphorism: "Don't touch shit with gloves. The gloves get shittier, the shit doesn't get glovier."

Speaking of Law & Order, habitual viewers of TV crime dramas (like myself) got a salutary dash of reality via the Gans post morterms. You know how Lt. Van Buren used to be able to "get the tox screen" in a matter of hours? The toxicology report on the unfortunate Mr. Gans will not be complete for weeks to come, supposedly. And "Las Vegas" on CSI looks remarkably like the residential parts of Burbank, come to think of it.

On the lighter side, be sure an check out today's "Question of the Day," involving a robotic version of comedian Foster Brooks that once inhabited MGM Grand 2.0 (i.e., the lion's-mouth version). It's a strange story, even by Vegas standards, but it's only available today. We're working on ways to put the whole QoD archive online ... honest Injun. It's just taking a while.

Danny Gans, R.I.P.

Fri, 01 May 2009 11:25:00 -0700

Words are always inadequate on tragic occasions like this. (Both daily papers have more pro forma obituaries.) Unfortunately, the late Mr. Gans hadn't been gone from this vale of tears even four hours when the mythmaking machinery kicked into gear. A KVVU-TV anchor informed viewers that it was Steve Wynn who put Danny Gans on the map.

Now, if there's one current Vegas figure whose resumé needs no inflation, it's Steve Wynn. His accomplishments are many but Gans was firmly affixed to aforesaid map well before he signed with Wynn ... nor, I hasten to add, has the Wynn family been responsible for putting this urban legend into motion.

Gans was an established, hot-ticket act at The Rio when Wynn lured him to The Mirage. Unfortunately for Gans, Wynn was soon elbowed out by Kirk Kerkorian and it would be nearly a decade before the two were reunited at Encore. Gans found himself working for a different set of bosses than he'd anticipated and an occasionally stormy relationship ensued -- much as he'd bickered with Rio ownership (not without justification) towards the end of his tenure there.

From a business standpoint, Wynn is left with the burdensome task of having to find a new resident act for the Encore Theater for the third time in as many years. To compound the burden, the room had recently been extensively reworked to suit Gans' show, so that's a "given" when contemplating possible successors.

Bottom line, Wynn's got a customized showroom and no one to fill it. That's scarcely at the collective forefront of Wynn Resorts' mind today, but it soon will be.

Wynn, unplugged

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:27:00 -0700

"Wynncore"'s boss has been all over that series of vacuums and tubes which some call "the Internet" this week. He did Kirk Kerkorian a favor by suggesting that he, Steve Wynn, would be tractable to buying anything the aging aviator had to sell ... even Circus Circus.

While Wynn may have been merely being playful, enjoying how much the worm has turned since then-MGM Grand forced him out of then-Mirage Resorts, his expression of interest helped goose MGM Mirage stock by 5%. Holders of Wynn Resorts shares, however, may have emitted a collective "Eek!" at the thought of Wynn buying yet another clown-themed casino (don't forget that he once owned the Boardwalk). WYNN shares slipped 3%.

If Steve Wynn on 60 Minutes is good, then 69 minutes with Steve Wynn must be better, right? Either way, here he is at the Milken Institute's Global Conference 2009. What's inarguable is that there is no other CEO in the gaming group -- no, not even Sheldon Adelson -- to whom people would listen for anywhere near that amount of time. True, many Americans do watch an hour-long TV show starring ex-casino mogul Donald Trump, playing a parody of CEO (or could it really be a cunningly disguised Alec Baldwin in the role of Old Fish Lips?) ... much as they do When Animals Attack! or World's Scariest Police Chases.

Bloomberg News cornered Wynn for a few minutes and the unscripted result was better than any televised fender-bender. [Warning: The audio is subject to frequent dropouts.] Wynn began by acknowledging that, times being what they are, Americans are scarcely obligated to visit Las Vegas.

One wishes certain umbrageous local figures would get that memo.

He also notes that Wynncore is cheek-by-jowl with "all the convention centers." So I take it that proposed Wynn Las Vegas/Encore convention center is now off the drawing board. Strip land acquisitions are flatly ruled out -- no doubt causing some long faces at Elad Properties, Triple Five and other companies that bought acreage at the top of the market (i.e., $33 million-$36 million/acre) and can't do squat with it now. Uncle Steve is not coming to their rescue, I'm afraid ... and why should he? As Wynn obliquely acknowledges, he's got plenty of land of his own, fully amortized but not developable in these tight-credit days.

But it's when the conversation turns to politics that things get well and truly interesting. Starting with an observation that the government is too fixated on infrastructure improvements, Wynn gradually works himself up into an fine rage. His description of President Obama's policies runs the gamut of "naive ... doesn't have much credibility ... unimpressed ... ridiculous shopping list ... the right ideas at the wrong time ... shotgun approach." He faults the current administration for lacking "experience and priorities" and -- in a somewhat ironic choice of analogy -- says that when a patient is undergoing major surgery, "you don't give 'em advice on a nose job."

You want must-see TV? This is it!

Unfortunately, Wynn is somewhat hamstrung when pressed for constructive alternatives. His one substantive answer is a proposal that Uncle Sam subsidize new hires if the employer provides health benefits. Beyond that, he falls back on a broad-brush invocation of tax policy (which "incentivizes people to do what the government wants them to do"). Wynn thumps the "tax policy" tub so relentlessly that he starts to sound like a personality-implanted version of Rep. John Boehner, pining for the return of the previous administration's economic policies as fiscal Viagra.

Give the man credit. He's got strong opinions and no fear about voicing them. He's a cheerfully impolitic figure in word-parsing times and the casino industry might be unbearably dull without him.

Macao in 7 minutes

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Quote of the Day

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 11:44:00 -0700

"I fear my obsession with Las Vegas may have gone overboard. This weekend I broke down and subscribed to Face to Face with Jon Ralston on iTunes. Even more pathetic, I find it very interesting. Sad, sad, sad." -- e-mail from a reader

Saint Jack

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:59:00 -0700

Who says nobody finds redemption in the slammer? Washington, D.C. über-sleazeball Jack Abramoff, presently spending some quality time as a guest of the federal penal system, is seeking redemption via a pair of Hollywood liberals. (Irony abounds.) Kevin Spacey and Factory Girl director George Hickenlooper are developing Casino Jack, a biopic that aims to present a kinder, gentler Abramoff.

Considering that Abramoff bilked and deceived Native American clients, fraudently gained control of the Sun Cruz casino line (part of a beyond-seamy saga that included eventual bloodshed) and was an out-and-out racist, Spacey and Hickenlooper are going to have employ a bathysphere to dredge up empathy for this sack of sludge and like-minded sidekick Michael Scanlon (to be played by Young Darth Vader himself, Hayden Christensen).

But, an Abramoff sympathizer insists, it was "Casino Jack" who was the victim and what he did "wasn't ... anything that wasn't happening on K-Street already." Even if you swallow that bullshit sandwich, the supposition that Abramoff's actions were just bidness as usual doesn't even begin to excuse them.

Let's hope this project gets put in perpetual turnaround. Besides, Abramoff doesn't deserve to be portrayed by an actor as good as Spacey. I'm thinking they should cast the part with Ted McGinley instead.

Never a dull day in Nevada

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 16:56:00 -0700

At least one good thing happened today. In other news ...

"Infidelity is not relevant ... in Nevada": Faced with being all over the teevee and not in a good way, Gov. Jim Gibbons set off a series of distractions. First, he tried to score a photo op with the BMOC. (Midnight Jim's blustery public comments form a droll contrast to the obsequious tone of his letter to POTUS.) Then he managed to piss off the Armenian community. Whoops, there go those campaign contributions from MGM Mirage, governor.

Maybe those dollars will go to former casino owner and outgoing Reno Mayor Bob Cashell. He's the latest Nevada Republican to pass up the chance of taking on Sen. Harry Reid, preferring his odds against the decreasingly viable Gibbons. Cashell says he's got "well-connected" backers down here in Southern Nevada.

Ensign for President? Despite having been an ineffectual fundraiser and candidate-recruiter during his tenure at the RSCCC, Nevada's junior senator (and Circus Circus scion) appears to have his eye on the Oval Office. S&G encourages such presidential aspirations, if for no other reason than that all the other presumptive candidates for 2012 are from the anti-gambling subset of the GOP. Since Ensign's nickname on Capitol Hill used to be -- and perhaps still is -- "Johnny Casino," he can expect to hear a lot of that on the campaign trail.

Elsewhere ...

The chicken is back! The tic-tac-toe-playing chicken is the new star attraction at Greektown. When you're $777 million in the hole, a bit of fowl play can't hurt. The chicken is only playing Detroit through June 9 but an extended engagement would be advisable: With MGM Grand Detroit openly on the market, Greektown's chances of finding an interested buyer just took a mighty wallop.

St. Stanley. The benediction of the American Gaming Association will be bestowed upon Stanley Ho during G2E Asia. Quoth AGA President Frank Fahrenkopf, "we are excited to hear his thoughts during his keynote address.” Yes, Frank, especially the part where Stanley starts ranting about the pernicious effects upon Macao of American capital, as he is so wont to do these days.

Quote of the Day

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:39:00 -0700

"Raise or be destroyed."

"So the score is poker dealers 1, cylons 0." -- UNLV Center for Gaming Research Director David G. Schwartz on the failure of robo-poker at Trump Plaza.

Quote of the Day

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:00:00 -0700

"You mean like when I go to any given page of the R-J site and a gigantic roll-down ad takes over my browser and then disappears? Like that?" -- "Bill," pointing out the hypocrisy of a Review-Journal column decrying embedded advertising in TV newscasts.

Nevada: Building a bridge to the 19th century

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 13:50:00 -0700

Our antiquated regulatory infrastructure is making headlines again. You'd think fiscal watchdogs would raise a hue and cry about casino regulators having to fly up and down the state every time there's a meeting. Why all the travel? Because previous and current administrations are too damn cheap to invest in more and better teleconferencing equipment. It's a classic example of spending a dollar in order to save a penny.

Nevada is hemmorhaging casino and resort revenue to competing states, so what does Gov. Jim Gibbons propose to do but disembowel the Commission on Tourism. 'Cause if there's one thing Nevada doesn't need it's more of those pesky tourists, right? Good riddance to the varmints!

This shortsighted thriftiness is playing to predictably bad reviews in the Legislature. Even Midnight Jim's own lieutenant governor disses the notion, but the best sound bite comes from Assemblyman Marcus Conklin (D-Las Vegas). He took the commission's fill-in director to task, saying, "Your budget -- and I realize it's not your fault -- lacks vision and general business understanding. Those customers that would traditionally come to Vegas are going to be marketed to aggressively by everyone else, while we're sitting here playing tiddlywinks because we don't understand what's going on in the market."

Call that a proxy smackdown. "Lacks vision and general business understanding ... playing tiddlywinks" -- he's talking about you, Jim.

In defense of Gibbons on another matter, his accidental (?) defunding of the Nevada Film Office doesn't seem like such a big deal. State government isn't -- and hasn't -- done squat to incentivize film production here, content to see it snapped up by neighboring states (and Canada). Until the Silver State is going to do more than pay lip service to the silver screen, why bother pretending otherwise?

A twist of Fator

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 11:08:00 -0700

We took in Saturday night's opening of Terry Fator and his Cast of Thousands, as did quite a few C- and D-list celebrities, plus several MGM Mirage executives -- no doubt enjoying 90 minutes' respite from worrying about their company's future. MGM brass weren't nearly as visible as Harrah's Entertainment exec-about-town Don Marrandino. He was last seen chatting up a threesome of bottle blondes in matching, skintight, red dresses. Presumably they were the string trio Alizma, although I hope they're better at fiddling than at finding their seats, a feat which required circumnavigation of the auditorium. (Such are the perils of wearing bright, identical outfits.)

The evening was more like a corporate cocktail party with intermittent entertainment by special guest Terry Fator, as audience members couldn't be bothered to take their seats for a full 20 minutes, kibbitzing away interminably. This meant that people who were actually prompt (Quaint notion!) were treated to tape loop upon loop -- I lost count -- of Fator having his portrait painted. At least it gave one plenty of time to appreciate the skill and energy of DJ Ben Harris, as good a warm-up act as you could have.

Terry Fator and co-worker.

Although the crowd seemed extraordinarily reluctant to actually sit down and watch the show, once it started, they ate it up. Some Red State-friendly material was red meat to the opening-night audience, but the biggest laugh had to be when Fator took a jab at Believe divo Criss Angel. You had to wonder how the MGM execs felt, listening to the roar of savage glee directed at their failed, $80 million wonder boy. (Looking on the bright side, never has Lance Burton gotten such good reviews as he did right after Believe exploded on the launch pad.)

With the exception of Norm(!) Clarke, local press reaction to Fator has been pretty 'meh,' the consensus being that it's mostly tame, old-school fare (or, "cloyingly cute, reactionary and regressive") that will play well to a broad audience. Sounds like a can't-miss box office formula to me.

Perhaps it's because I have low expectations where ventriloquism is concerned or don't find Strip entertainment very cutting-edge anyway, but I thought Fator exceptionally good. Singing is in and of itself very difficult -- doing it well while also throwing your voice and manipulating a puppet takes an inconceivable level of skill, to say nothing of stamina. And, save for a brief costume change, Fator is onstage for the entire show. In fact, it's so densely packed with material that it risks overload. It's like walking that tightrope between being sated or outright stuffed at the buffet.

Fator has a snazzy-looking set and a crisp, seven-piece backup ensemble. The CGI imagery that accompanies most of the songs is beautiful and state of the art. The video montages for "Home" and "What a Wonderful World" aren't just corny, though, but are so literal-minded they stray into parody.

The vast majority of Fator's songs and pop-culture references are contemporary, with Patsy Cline and Roy Orbison impersonations are throwback-y as he gets. James Blunt, Gnarls Barkley, Amy W(h)inehouse and several other current artists get their due, so I'm perplexed by the critical consensus that Fator's material is tepid and dated. By contrast, Danny F. Gans adds two or three adult-contemporary numbers into his mix and it's treated like a massive reinvention.

OK, so maybe ridiculing Michael Jackson is like tripping a dwarf but this is a Jackson-obsessed town. Our dailies keep tabs on Jacko's whereabouts and speculation about if or where he'll headline in Vegas is neverending. So Fator is hardly off-base here. His sudden swerves into political japery, though, are so unexpected that they can throw you right out of the rhythm of the show. They contrast jarringly with the prevailing soft-and-cuddly vibe, sounding more like sudden irruptions from Fator's id. Most of the other laugh lines are ribald enough for Vegas but not so raw that a parental advisory is required.

The giant, flanking-video-screen setup is de rigeur for almost any showroom these days but give Fator props: He's in closeup much of the time, so any technical sloppiness on his part will be writ large. As for his occasional confusion as to which voice should be emanating from which mouth or his tendency to "corpse" in mid-routine, dissolving in laughter ... well, that's part of the fun and keeps the evening from feeling too slick.

At first, I thought The Mirage was taking a huge risk by awarding a long-term contract to a ventriloquist. But Fator is no ordinary ventriloquist and the gambit appears certain to pay off. The Mirage looks like it's got a huge hit on its hands -- maybe not Donny & Marie huge, but not too far behind either.

As though to put Fator in perspective, the truly awful Gordie Brown returns to the Golden Nugget on March 27. (Given former owner Steve Wynn's affinity for things French, I always think of that place as Le Nugget d'Or ... but I digress.) At least Brown won't be contractually obligated to sing that craptastic "Golden Nugget" theme song with which Rich Little opened his shows -- we think.

I won't get to find out, as we have an insuperable conflict with Trent Carlini's Elvolution that night. Aw shooty!

Update: Darn it all but they've gone and pushed the Trent Carlini ~~opening~~ media night back to April 24. Guess I'll just pass on Gordie B. in favor of watching DVDs of Space: 1999.

Coming attractions: You'll get Anthony Curtis' take on Terry Fator when the next issue of Las Vegas Advisor makes print.

More M Resort pix

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 18:15:00 -0700

Armed with my first digital camera (which the Significant Other won during the brief run of "The Real Deal" at the Venetian), we scoped out M Resort on opening night. If Encore marked the return of "the red casino," M responds with what might be called "the resinous casino." If you grew up in a region thick with sap-laden trees, the look will be familiar:

This pillar motif runs throughout the resort ...

... as here, over the slot floor.

Fixtures like these ...

... also make nifty places of concealment for the domes that mask the PTZ surveillance cameras.

This lovely canopy in the grand foyer ...

... is but a stone's throw from the check-in desk.

The sports book. Obviously.

The requisite wild-and-crazy casino carpet, for those who dig that jazz.

Blown-glass ornaments in the VIP players' lounge, where the TV (not shown) ...

... was set to Family Guy, in a gesture of impeccable taste. Other teevees throughout the property were tuned to either ESPN or Fox Noise, er, News. The lounge was also home to ...

... this floral arrangement. (Like, duh.)

Sample table setting (out of several) in one of the smaller meeting rooms.

Just add conventioneers and stir. (Groovy carpet, huh?)

Lastly ...

... your humble blogger comes to grips with one of M's self-service beverage stations. As you can see, I'm partial to the Real Thing. And, yes, I often look similarly vexed. All this and we still got home in time for United States of Tara. (Toni Colette can play damn near anything.)

Enjoy!

Smoky Station

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 01:41:00 -0700

Smoke gets in your eyes ... and your nostrils ... and all up in your business the instant you pass through the doors into Sunset Station. This was the overriding impression left by a Saturday-night visit and it was quite a striking contrast to the older Hooters, which I expected to be smoke-ridden but wasn't. Sunset Station, contrarily, seems to be aspiring to be the second coming of Nevada Palace. This is a recent and unwelcome phenomenon, suggestive of severe maintenance cutbacks and, just perhaps, an underlying assumption that people either won't notice or just won't care.

That's what really reeked when it became obvious that the Harrah's Entertainment and Station Casinos LBOs were going to go through. Because inadvisable debt loads aren't the customers' problem per se. But in order for those newly overburdened companies to make their nut, particularly when it came to debt servicing, it was obvious that customer service, comping and maintenance were going to take it in the neck. Which is, by all accounts, what's happening. But with companies sky-high on cheap credit and banks gleefully playing the role of the neighborhood pusher, high-risk deals were getting made left and right back then (circa 2006) because so many circumstances conspired to 'enable' -- nay, encourage -- them.

At least the downward march of Sunset Station toward grind-joint status is still reversible. And the smell of smoke is a temporary annoyance ... unlike the tooth-grinding dissatisfaction that was tonight's (in)conclusion of The L Word. Oh, the waste, the Indian-giving, the sucktacular-ness of it!

Wall Street Hearts WYNN

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 14:05:00 -0700

"Buy Wynn!" is the bottom line of James Dobosz's unqualified endorsement of the stock. He especially likes the recent volte-face that saw Steve Wynn abandon an occupany-driven strategy in favor of high ADRs, on the theory that customers who can afford top-dollar hotel rooms can spring for like-priced spa treatments and restaurant offerings.

Putting a "buy" rating on a casino stock is akin to placing one's head on the chopping block these days. Consider Bernstein Research, which initiated ratings of Wynn Resorts and -- get this -- Las Vegas Sands at "outperform." Bernstein's rationale for the Wynn rating is persuasive, but anybody who writes blithely that Sheldon Adelson's company will "find its way out of its liquidity bind and emerge with a stellar portfolio of assets centered in Asia and including a crown jewel in Singapore," hath quaffed a dram too many of the LVS Kool-Aid, methinks.

The next day brought this "Oh shit!" bulletin from Singapore. A 13% drop in tourism is nothing to downplay, considering that both Marina Bay Sands and Genting's Sentosa Island megaresort will live and die on international business.

Bernstein's $8-a-share bullishness on Sands drew a withering blast from CNBC's James Cramer that began, "All right, you just rolled a seven in craps. That is, if you own the crap known as Las Vegas Sands!" His volcanic tirade is not for the faint of heart ... but Cramer was prescient when he frog-marched gaming stocks off to his "Sell Block" 14 months ago. Read the latest LVS financials and see what you think.

And even if LVS has held the Marina Bay Sands budget down to its $3.2 billion starting point, $300 million in cash flow is but a 9% ROI. We're looking at 5.5% if the worst-case scenarios are accurate. The $1 billion-plus megaresort epoch that kicked off with Bellagio and Mandalay Bay may someday be known as The Era of Diminishing Returns. If you want to buy casino stock, God bless you. Just don't expect the double-digit returns of yore.

Gibbons retreats, sorta

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 12:33:00 -0700

Gov. Jim Gibbons has scuttled away from one of his several proposals to jack up taxes on the only segment of Nevada that's carrying its own weight -- the casino bidness. He's retreating from a demand that casinos pay taxes on uncollected markers (which, in turn, would be certain to cause a tightening of casino credit). Midnight Jim continues, though, to support raising hotel-room taxes in Clark and Washoe counties, and taxing comped meals. The casino industry's love affair with Gibbons -- which helped get him into office -- has so far proven a one-way romance.

Worries about Boyd. Here's why I resist the occasional invitation to give stock picks: No sooner have I sung the praises of Boyd Gaming's sound fundamentals, its diversified casino portfolio and its (Echelon excepted) aversion to risk, comes news that analysts have the heebie-jeebies in re Boyd. A slow-ramp-up at Water Club in Atlantic City and weakness in the Las Vegas locals market are the primary worries.

Advertising during the Oscars: Casinos that ran ads during last night's interminable Academy Awards snoozer included M Resort (twice), Encore, the CasaBlanca in Mesquite and Green Valley Ranch, which has suddenly discovered a great lurve for the local clientele. The latter is quite a turnaround for a property that used to tout its high-end cachet. Oh, and Mickey Rourke got totally, utterly and criminally screwed. Which ruined the evening right then and there.

Atlantic City Death Watch, cont. After taking a long gander at the market, Macquarie Securities analyst Joel Simkins had this to say: “In our view, there is a distinct possibility that one to three casinos could be permanently closed in the next few years, particularly when many older locations are barely breaking even and, we believe, cannot be rehabbed to be economically viable.” [emphasis added]

Anybody care to speculate which casinos Simkins has on the "do not resuscitate" list? Resorts Atlantic City is a no-brainer for the "one." As for the "to three," we could toss in the Atlantic City Hilton and Trump Marina, where the news comes in two flavors -- Bad and Worse.

The Tropicana might also be on the bubble, partly because it's not performing up to its preponderant size and also on account of interim management's inability to restore the business that was lost during the Columbia Sussex reign of error. A veteran Trump-watcher has another suggestion, writing that"his decision to abandon and bad-mouth the company suggests that this may not be the routine Chapter 11 bankruptcy from which the company eventually emerges. Indeed, I wouldn't be surprised if this is the last gasp for Trump's three Atlantic City casinos."

Trump: The end

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 13:40:00 -0700

So Trump Entertainment Resorts has such little worth that it's facing delisting, having become quite literally a penny stock. In a move described as "petulant," not only is Donald Trump taking his ball and going home, he wants the name of the company changed.

He claims he could have done better, had he simply been allowed to exercise his incomparable casino mojo ... but this emperor's been naked for the better part of a decade. As for the "wasteful spending" he decries, one can only guess he's referring to the capital improvements at Trump Taj Mahal (the sort of thing Trump himself could rarely be bothered with) which have goosed business there substantially.

The already discounted sale of Trump Marina to Richard Fields (who hasn't lined up the dough and recently liquidated his Manhattan pied-a-terre) looks shakier than ever -- and it was not a deal that inspired confidence to begin with. Trump's tantrum could easily kill it outright. Fields' company is hemming and hawing ominously. And if that sale doesn't come through, one analyst predicts a "death spiral" for TER.

View the video at CNN.com

Bloviation alert: Trump disses own casinos, says they're not worth beans.

Meanwhile, the Trumpster is engaging in a little revisionist history, complaining that the company hasn't diversified outside Atlantic City. Oh, its various incarnations have tried. A Trump-branded riverboat in Gary, Ind. (now Don Barden's Majestic Star II) enjoyed an early vogue, then went into steep decline. A Trump tribal-casino-management arrangement in California was short-lived. An effort to get in on the Philadelphia market went nowhere, except to court. As always with Trump, when in doubt ... sue!

Contrary to Trump's ever-bombastic contentions, things are not coming up roses for him elsewhere, either. (On a personal note, I balked at purchasing an otherwise appealing necktie at Filene's Basement because it bore the Trump moniker on the reverse. Would you call that "negative brand equity"?)

About the only good thing that's come out of Trump's insufferable TV series, The Apprentice, is that the mainstream media finally began paying attention to the thing of smoke and mirrors that was Trump's casino kingdom.

Who are they kidding?

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 12:35:00 -0700

Mesquite casino oligopolist Randy Black bought himself some TV ad time during the Super Bowl to tout his latest value proposition (starring one Randy Black). His opening gambit: "Everybody's cutting back." Uh no, not if you're Randy Black and just served yourself a nice pay increase while skipping loan payments and sacking the help. But we digress ...

What's Randy's big value message? A midweek rate of $99/night, which gets you either a free spa treatment or a round of golf. The prospect of a $99 golf game or spa visit had better be pretty strong, because there's certainly no point in hauling ass out to Mesquite for a $99 hotel room, not when you can stay at Planet Hollywood this week for that little -- or for even less at The Rio or the Flamingo, to name two of the nicer propositions. (If your standards are more flexible, you can stay on or very, very near the Strip for $20.)

Columbia Sussex continues to live in a dream world, demanding $249/night midweek for the Westin Casuarina. Heck, you could stay at Trump International for less than half that amount. Donald Trump and Phil Ruffin really let both the condo market and the budget get away from them on the latter, whose budget quadrupled to a final $1.2 billion. But it's not one of those properties (I'm looking at you, Aladdin) where you walk around and wonder, "Where did the money go?"

The recent discounting binge on the Strip may have done its job. J.P. Morgan reports "we are finding that casino operators are reducing the number of promotions that are available by and large" and theorizes, "operators have built up a book of occupancy that enables them to not have to rely on a promotional environment." If that's the case and promotional-rate offers continue to dwindle, it's a classic case of gather ye rosebuds while ye may.

Hey, hey, goodbye

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 17:38:00 -0700

Covetous Rod Blagojevich has been returned to private life, by unanimous vote. Hurrah! Under Blagojevich's watch, Illinois went from being one of the best casino markets in the U.S. to one of the least hospitable -- damage that may be irreversible. So good riddance and don't let the doorknob hit you in the ass, Blago.

We'll miss his hair, though. I haven't seen anything like it since Jack Lord's rug on Hawaii Five-O.

The red badge of comping

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 11:48:00 -0700

Once again, the Post-Eating Server (our technologically evolved version of Charlie Brown's nemesis, the Kite-Eating Tree) has devoured something intended for the "Comments" section, so I hope you'll indulge me while I respond to reader mike_ch lthusly ...

I used to slag you when you were on That Other Site [Las Vegas Business Press -- Ed.] and were calling Wynn childish names over his labour dispute, but now it's starting to float in the other direction. And you're not even the first person I've heard say that the best channel is the one where Steve talks all day long.

When you see the rest of the channel lineup, you'll realize that's not quite the compliment it seems (since I didn't notice any free HBO, Showtime or Cinemax in the repertory). However, the dance-competition show on Italian network RAI did give "Steve TV" (or maybe "sTeVe") a run for its money.

Also, I forgot to mention that the TV is set (deliberately?) to the incorrect scaling mode, so that non-HD channels display in that "stretched" setting that makes everybody look 50 pounds heavier. (Gotta use the whole screen, y'know.) Re-set "aspect ratio" to "native" and everything will be fine. However, since my apartment complex -- among its many other crimes against humanity -- balks at replacing a corroded cable-TV line, staying at Encore is as close to HD cable as I'm going to get for a while.

Those of you who weren't around for the "childish names" not only didn't miss anything but need only know that they were pejorative references to some plastic surgery (or Botox-ing maybe) that had very unfortunate -- but temporary -- side effects on Steve Wynn's face. It was a lapse on my part that I'd like to think I've outgrown or am at least trying to (ditto Sheldon Adelson's coiffure).

Per the ongoing dispute over Wynn's tip-confiscation regime and his generally shameful treatment of his dealers (covered in detail at LVCityLife.com), I'd like to paraphrase something once uttered about composer Richard Strauss: To Steve Wynn the casino impresario, I take off my hat; to Steve Wynn the person, I put it back on. His tip grab was not only a giant blotch upon an otherwise industry-leading record in labor relations, it was petty, stubborn and -- unless he relents -- it will follow him to the grave.

Seriously? And I've been hearing about this "media day," but did they really shack said journos and bloggers up in complimentary rooms?

More like a week, actually. Four days of events. As for who was comped: Journos, yes. Bloggers, I dunno. Not me, though. My (red) badge relegates me to the anonymous status of "Media Guest." Which serves as a useful restraint upon one's ego.

And nobody wondered whether that would affect credibility? (Note I'm not singling out you here, I've heard about this event from others on Twitter and I figure if they're bringing bloggers along then the Medium-Large Media must be getting this, too.)

Some of Wynn's most favorable coverage comes from Greenspun-owned media outlets and those folks aren't allowed to accept anything worth more than a buck, so I question the efficacy of comping. It certainly doesn't make a substandard experience (names withheld to protect the guilty ... for now) any less irksome, especially since you're receiving something of dubious financial value in return for the surrender of that which is priceless and irreplaceable -- your time.

Also, if I've been comped to something, I try to include that caveat in my postings, so that readers can weigh my coverage accordingly. (Constantly mentioning that yours truly was the proverbial "plus one" does, however, have the bathetic side effect of seeming like a constant proclamation of, "Look! Look! I have a girlfriend!")

As for my opinions of Encore, the Dec. 22 media walk-through set them pretty much in stone, with slight amplifications and alterations during "Media Week." If/when I can afford it, I'll be back as a paying customer, as I've been at the Venetian (very good) and MGM Grand (not so good). Which reminds me that I have to book an anniversary dinner at Sinatra ...

Of course Steve Wynn knows how to run a company, but I'm not so convinced that I'll join his Official Fan Club, even if he does leave members a personal message on their birthdays.

If you're like me and think that, with a few exceptions, most other casino operators on the Strip wouldn't have a clue (or would be stuck 10-20 years in the past) without Wynn's example, it's easy to sound fan-clubby. But I don't harbor any illusions that I'm even a blip on Steve Wynn's mental radar, so I don't expect to receive any birthday greetings from him ... and would be mighty suspicious if I did.

(Actually, if I got a personal message from Steve Wynn, I'm extremely confident that it wouldn't be "happy birthday" but would be of a rather less pleasant nature.)

Anyway, since S&G is meant to be more of a conversation than a sermon, I hope that my impromptu dialogue with Mike has provided something of value (at least reaching the Greenspun-mandated $1 threshold).

Now I must be off to find out what the heck -- if anything -- ever happened to that "For Sale" notice Don Barden hung upon the downtown Vegas Fitzgeralds property.

Lanni: The official story

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 17:27:00 -0700

My favorite exchange in one of my favorite current TV series, Mad Men, takes place when weasel-like junior exec Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser) goes to rat out his boss, Donald Draper (Jon Hamm), to company owner Bertram Cooper (the cunningly cast Robert Morse). "Draper" is, Campbell has discovered, a Korean War deserter who has risen to the upper reaches of Madison Ave. circa 1960 under an assumed identity.

Cooper takes all this in imperturably, bestows upon the youngster a pitying gaze and says, "Mr. Campell ... who cares? This country was built and run by men with worse stories than whatever you've imagined here. The Japanese have a saying: ‘A man is whatever room he is in' — and right now, Donald Draper is in this room."

Which was pretty much my reaction to the J. Terrence Lanni resumé-inflation flap (it came and went too quickly to qualify as a scandal). The casino industry was built by men who did far worse things than list a nonexistent MBA on their curriculum vitae. Heck, Harrah's Entertainment is operated by a Ph.D late of the Harvard University faculty and it's not exactly an advertisement for fiscal well-being these days ($415 million lost in 2008, and counting). For that matter, we've entrusted our country for the last eight years to men with MBAs who said they'd run it like a corporation. How'd that work out?

And even if Lanni deliberately padded his resumé to get ahead ... who cares, Mr. Campbell? At worst, the reins of MGM Mirage might have gone to somebody more obviously "qualified" ... like a Gary Loveman or a Frank Fertitta III. MBA or no, Lanni was good enough for owner Kirk Kerkorian, a man with a Ph.D from the School of Hard Knocks.

Simply put, at a time when Mob-tainted Clifford Perlman is in the American Gaming Association's Hall of Fame (presumably soon to be joined by the late Lefty Rosenthal) and when Columbia Sussex CEO William J. Yung III got run out of New Jersey for running a rogue outfit in Atlantic City, but retains casino licenses in Nevada, Louisiana and Mississippi, outrage is difficult to muster.

Which is not to excuse the whitewash (Steve Friess has an even harsher term for it) that ran in Sunday's Las Vegas Review-Journal. Basically, the story amounts to a regurgitation of MGM's company line, which boils down to, "We (sort of) planned it this way." Less charitably, the R-J lends its credibility to an attempt to sweep Lanni's speedy and inglorious exit under the nearest available rug.

"(T)here is never a perfect time" for MGM's CEO to step down, we are told. No, but ringing up Kerkorian on the evening of Nov. 12 and giving him two weeks' notice is something less than the "smooth transition" MGM and the R-J are trying to depict. CEO-in-waiting Jim Murren stepped gracefully into Lanni's shoes but the timing and alacrity of Lanni's departure leave many questions hanging.

Given the extreme proximity between the Wall Street Journal's exposé on Lanni's credentials and his resignation, the official stance that it was all just a big coinky-dink, while possible, is difficult to swallow. (After all, a plan for Lanni to remain on the MGM board was quietly withdrawn when casino-oversight three states, including Nevada, began to probe the academic-credential issue.)

But let's give everybody the benefit of the doubt on that one and consider what else might have propelled the CEO toward the exit:

Perhaps Lanni, a man well-served in Asian sensibilities, was falling on his sword for the good of the company. After all, Nov, 12 marked the first time in at least five years that MGM stock closed at $10/share. Maybe, as Jeff Simpson has suggested, Lanni placed a "sell" order on himself once the stock price hit that inauspicious threshold.

The massive Harmon screw-up was already known to him. Or perhaps the sale of Treasure Island and writedown of $1.2 billion related to the Lanni-supervised takeover of Mandalay Resort Group were already done deals, and Lanni foresaw himself presiding over the partial dismantling of an empire he'd helped build.

Or maybe he just woke up that morning and, channeling Danny Glover in the first Lethal Weapon movie, growled, "I'm getting too old for this shit." That, at any rate, is The Official Story (minus the scatology).

It appears we will never know what ultimately prompted Lanni's leap ... or at least not for a long time. I'm with those who say, "he will be judged on his leadership." He certainly did much more than any executive I can think of when it comes to making diversity a priority in a boy's-club industry. He extended the company's reach into new overseas markets. And if MGM's reach exceeded its grasp toward the end of the Lanni Era, it did not do so to the extent that has Harrah's, Station Casinos and several other companies presently skirting the edge of bankruptcy.

Heck, we only demand honesty from CEOs on a selective basis. On Oct. 29, Lanni said no asset sales were on the table at MGM. Two weeks after Lanni left, Phil Ruffn plunked down $775 million for Treasure Island. Perhaps that deal really did come together in a fortnight, although it's not been MGM's style to move so fast. If, for purposes of argument, Lanni had been in talks with Ruffin in late October and told the press that asset sales were being discussed, what would have happened? MGM stock might easily have dropped like a brick. So if Lanni did fib about the Ruffin talks, do we further discount his credibility or do we say that it was his fiduciary duty to fudge the truth every so often?

One could go further about Lanni's accomplishment (which also include the complete domination of the Detroit market and the development of a strong executive team), but let it suffice to say that J. Terrence Lanni was "in the room."

Nor did he deserve the non-person status he fell into upon his resignation. His name was scarcely even mentioned at the most recent G2E and, when it was, it was sort of muttered in the corners of the press room. Honestly, there was neither a death in the family nor anything about which to be embarrassed -- and casino regulatory bodies have matters more material with which to deal than with the occasional fudged resumé. The probity and financial solvency of the mergers and alliances they are asked to bless might be a good place to start.

Banned in Britain

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 16:20:00 -0700

From our Today's News page:

Ladbrokes' humorous "Quench Your Thrill Buds" TV spots didn't amuse Britain's advertising czars. The bluenoses at the Advertising Standards Authority have nixed airings of the commercials, one of which showed a risk junkie accidentally plunging to his death by attempting to use a potato chip bag as a parachute. The punchline: "If only he'd seen Ladbrokescasino.com his thrill buds would have been quenched."

After receiving one (yes, one) complaint, the ASA dropped the hammer on Ladbrokes, informing The Guardian that "while the TV ads would not be viewed as realistic or aspirational, it agreed with the complainant that the overall portrayal of gambling was in a context of toughness with links to excessive risk-taking and reckless behaviour." Ladbrokes responded that the ASA's prudishness was "political correctness gone too far."

And now, as an S&G public service, we present the ads that were too funny for the nation that gave us Monty Python and Eddie Izzard. The sun has well and truly set on the British Empire.

"Climber":

"Parachute":

and, best of all, "Shark":

Does your mother know?

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 12:26:00 -0700

Seen at the Playboy Store (Forum Shops) autograph signing last Saturday:

Pinnacle's Bahamas debacle

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:22:00 -0700

It wasn't so long ago that Pinnacle Entertainment was the fair-haired boy of the casino industry, especially after it hit a home run in the Lake Charles, La., market with tony L'Auberge du Lac. Then it nearly followed Columbia Sussex over the precipice in the crazy Aztar Corp. bidding war. Its much-anticipated Lumiere Place in St. Louis is now regarded as a succes d'estime, a budgetary overindulgence. (It's certainly failed to make any significant dent in proximate Ameristar Casinos and Harrah's Entertainment operations.)

Pinnacle paid a bundle to agglomerate land on Atlantic City's Boardwalk that it now can't afford to develop -- and may be regretting the precipitate fashion with which it shut down and demolished the Sands, which could have been generating a modest revenue stream all this time. A Baton Rouge riverboat project is behind schedule, and now ...

Isle of Capri Casinos and Harrah's now can welcome Pinnacle to the club of U.S. casino owners who have found nothing but a dead end in the Bahamas. (In fairness to Harrah's, it never got a chance to operate there, its Baha Mar project having fallen victim to internecine plotting and counterplotting that still haven't been sorted out.) The torrent of red ink from Exuma has done a number on Pinnacle's bottom line, which really doesn't need any more bloodletting right now.

It seems that Pinnacle decided last summer to either sell or outright close its casino on Exuma and will draw the blinds on Jan. 2 (which tells you just how bad business must be). Given that the Bahamas also turned out to be a fiscal graveyard for "Pile of Debris" (one of the bad decisions that ushered out the Goldstein Era), no wonder Pinnacle's Exuma casino is wanting for takers. Yes, they couldn't even get James Packer to take this turkey, so things must be very dire indeed. The ill-starred property has even been purged from Pinnacle's corporate Web site. "Bahamas casino? What Bahamas casino? No, we never had one of those. Where did you read that?"

I'm tempted to say this is the end of U.S. casino operators trying to reinvent the Bahamas as a market for Vegas-style gambling. But this is an industry with no shortage of persistence and optimism, mostly justified but sometimes not.

Last-minute reminder: The final episode, "Vegas" of Stargate Atlantis -- partly shot on the Strip -- airs tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern and Pacific. I'm just sayin'.

Not-so-boldly going ...

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:14:00 -0700

... where no slot has gone before, Harrah's Entertainment has thrown caution to the winds and says it may order as many as -- hold onto your hat -- 120 of WMS' Star Trek-themed machines (third item) "to 40 properties" ... well, 37 maximum, unless you count Harrah's outpost in Paraguay. So that breaks down to a whole 3.25 Star Trek slots per casino. A good thing Harrahs.com still has "Slot Finder" or you'll never be able to locate the frelling* things.

* -- Sorry about the Farscape reference; there's no faux-profanity in the Star Trek canon, to my knowledge.

Gaming bosses step up

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 18:33:00 -0700

While some casino companies we won't name (coughBoyd Gamingcough) are responding this week to the bad economy with downsizing their workforce, others are setting a nobler example.

Executives at both Isle of Capri Casinos and Trump Entertainment Resorts are literally taking it in the wallet, sharing the pain that is customarily meted out to line employees. Trump spreads the sting of a 5% salary decrease across 21 executive positions. But even that noble gesture pales next to what happened at Isle. CEO James Perry, COO Virginia McDowell, Chairman Bernard Goldstein and Vice Chairman Robert Goldstein imposed a 25% -- 25%!!! -- pay cut on themselves, retroactive to Nov. 1. (You see why these are some of the most admired executives in the casino biz.)

Both companies are in serious turnaround mode and leadership is really putting its money where its mouth is with these sweeping moves, which should be a tonic for corporate morale. Isle will also be a little heavier in the wallet now that Executive Vice President Allan B. Solomon has stepped down and no replacement has been named. Solomon was part of the old Goldstein crew that led Isle to prominence but arguably stuck around too long while other companies caught up with and passed them.

Recently, MGM Mirage made a big show of forgoing end-of-year bonuses but, as you read here, that was a sham. Show me some Vegas bigwigs who did what the Isle and Trump brass did and then we'll talk. So might ex-Borgata dealer Stanley Silow, who took issue with management's resort to the meat-cleaver approach: "They're kind of cold about it. I know business has declined and all that, but they didn't even attempt to reduce hours. They just cut."

The morale-boosting gesture at Trump couldn't come at a timelier juncture. Third-quarter numbers were horrible, representing 74% of the $188 million TER has lost this year, including a $46 million markdown on the sale price of Trump Marina and a further $62 million, Marina-related writedown. The company says it hasn't laid off any employees this year (though some attrition appears to be taking place), which bolsters CEO Mark Juliano's contention that staff can't be reduced any further without shuttering big chunks of the operation. If there's a silver lining, it's that most of the lumps taken were in the nature of one-time charges and most of whatever bruising is likely to be done to TER this year has been done.

A guy who 'gets it.' Few TV reporters display any degree of expertise when covering the casino industry. A sterling exception is KVBC-TV's Steve Crupi, as this report on the potential collapse of Las Vegas Sands demonstrates. Very thorough. Crupi really knows his shit -- though I don't think he'll put that quote on his resumé.

McCain's destination revealed

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:29:00 -0700

Maybe you saw that B-roll of Sen. John McCain hitting the road in an emerald SUV yesterday, with Sen. Lindsey Graham riding shotgun, ostensibly en route to planning "legislative initiatives." (I couldn't find the footage in that "series of tubes" that Alaska's most famous felon otherwise knows as "the Internet"; sorry about that.)

Uh-huh.

An S&G listening device had been implanted in the aforesaid emerald-colored car. Now, since S&G is a no-frills operation, our bug quickly fritzed out. But the following fragments of conversation were salvaged via a painstaking process Wayne Brady would call "making #%it up." Here's what we were able to piece together:

"Craps ... legalized ... Colorado ... new casino in Cripple Creek ... where the [inaudible] is that? ... Move over, Stanley "Golden Arm" Fujitake: It's game on!"

McCain wins!

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 12:44:00 -0700

Gold River Casino, in Oklahoma, found a way to get jiggy with the election. (Sen. John McCain "won" the mock plebiscite, with 52% of the handle pulls.)

This prompted the following missive from the event's promoter (which I've edited very slightly, so I doesn't read quite so much like a poem by ee cummings):

[J]ust stumbled across your blog and wanted to take a minute to thank you for calling our (pick a president) [YouTube] video "must see tv".

[W]e had a lot of fun creating the promo and the response was beyond belief; every slot, poker, BJ, and restaurant seat was filled on election night, which is not historically a great gaming night.

(Perhaps our Oklahoma City correspondent could be so kind as to share his thoughts on Gold River, assuming he's played there.)

MGM Mirage curbs retail. Word is just coming in of cutbacks in hours at MGM Mirage's Las Vegas stores. Watch our Today's News column for "the 411," as those 'Net-savvy kids call it.

Election night at The Palazzo

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:28:00 -0700

Now I won't be waking up early and apprehensively. Better still, I can enjoy food again, instead of having my stomach tied in a pretzel. Meanwhile, a quick Election Night vignette ...

The Better Half was feeling very upbeat but I wasn't having any of it. When we were passed in The Palazzo foyer by a red-, white- and blue-clad woman wearing an enormous "McCain-Palin" badge and a scowl three miles wide, I should have taken that as a portent.

We assumed that the GOP victory [sic] party would be held at Adelson Central, per tradition. Little did we suspect that it was right beneath our feet, at the erstwhile 40-40 Club, brainchild of Jay-Z. There's irony for you. But if Nevada Republicans really are the party of the Average Joe (Plumber, Six-Pack, etc.), they should make a cause celebre of the wretched service culture at The Club Formerly Known As 40-40.

The much-ballyhooed Election Night extravaganza at SushiSamba was a dud. To qualify for the drink and appetizer specials, you had to crowd into a smallish bar area (with one's hindquarters practically sticking out into the surrounding mall). Various TVs -- tuned to CNN -- were either partially obstructed or, in one case, canted at a neck-twisting angle. The pace of service was glacial, which at least earned us half-price on our "Obamaramas" by way of apology. We didn't stay long.

William Bennett, sanctimonious slot flea. This holier-than-thou guy looks as though, if he gets any more full of it, he's going to burst a seam and it won't be pretty. Meanwhile, is there a padded cell somewhere for CNN's Gloria Borger? Although she's one of the more egregiously off-base pundits in D.C., perhaps the very most, if you mute the sound on your TV and just watch her eye-popping gyrations, they're pretty darn funny.

We need a laugh

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:20:00 -0700

It seemed like this day would never come and we're probably all a little frazzled. So let's celebrate (and I mean celebrate!) the end of the campaign(s) with one of the most inspired Saturday Night Live political sketches ever ... and I've been watching SNL for 32 years, so I don't issue that compliment lightly. Have fun. You've earned it.

Case Bets: Move over, CNN ...

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:33:00 -0700

... and Fox News, MSNBC, plus the "big three" networks while you're at it. Univision and other Spanish-language media are the place to find substance-driven election coverage, seems like.

When the casino industry catches a cold, Nevada goes into intensive care. Happy Nevada Day.

First word on Believe. "Horribly bad" was the initial eyewitness description I received of media night for Cirque du Soleil's new Criss Angel extravaganza, which reportedly features dismemberment, bunny cannibalism and other family fare. (Let's put it this way: The clowns are the least disturbing element, I'm told.) Cirque has already sent in a snooty French Canadian to issue some pre-opening special pleading.

To no avail. Richard Abowitz likens Believe to the movie Showgirls. And not in a good way.

Harrah's sharpens the axe. Impending job losses were cited as a reason not to implement Atlantic City's smoking ban. So the ban was banned. Result? Job cuts at Harrah's Entertainment properties -- with more to come.

The newest "Vegas Gang" podcast is online, in what seems like record time. No Chuck Monster this time, which further dampened the spirits around the telephonic table. You can tell how the economy is wearing on our psyches just from how short some of our discussions are becoming.

Select windmill, charge!

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:14:00 -0700

Sheldon Adelson contemplates the remainder of his liquid assets.

OK, remember how we discussed close U.S. Senate races yesterday? It looks like Sheldon Adelson's been paying attention, too. His hobby farm, Freedom's Watch, has cut several spots on behalf of embattled Sen. Gordon Smith (R-OR), but similarly beleagured Sen. John Sununu (R-N.H.) and Sen. Norm Coleman (R-MN), who's in a real squeaker, can probably forget about seeing any help from the doge of the Venetian.

Why? Because Adelson's Freedom's Watch is aiming in the direction of ... Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.). Guess what? Schumer's not even on the ballot this year! But Sheldon's evidently not going to let a trifle like that stand in his way. Nosiree Bob, Freedom's Watch rolled out an anti-Schumer ad on Wednesday -- two years too early to do any good.

More pointless still, it's one of those onanistic spots that urges people to ring up Capitol Hill and reflexively regurgitate boilerplate nonsense ("Call [Creepy Conservative X] and tell him to stop his shady schemes," "Call [Godless Liberal Y] and demand he support our troops" -- ersatz examples, but you've undoubtedly been subjected to umpteen tedious examples of the real thing by now).

Adelson's got a right to tilt at any windmill of his choosing. But his target selection sure can be peculiar.

McCain accepts -- Gasp! -- casino bucks

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:00:00 -0700

TV coverage of the casino industry is rarely well-informed in nature and here's a particularly egregious example. If you squint really hard and read between the lines, the unifying force between various casino CEOs' support of Sen. John McCain appears to be opposition to legislation that would facilitate unionization by card-check rather than by secret-ballot election.

That's as close as this cheap-shot CBS News piece comes to discerning a common motivation. (Though I do have one suggestion for McCain and his CEO benefactors: Since you don't have anything to hide, when CBS comes calling don't act like you've got something to hide and go running for the tall grass. Cowboy up, guys.) Steve Friess gives this bit of drive-by journalism the body-slam it deserves, so I'll leave the rest of the commentary to him.

Case Bets: Sands bankruptcy?; California spite, Ted Binion still dead, etc.

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 17:52:00 -0700

The 'B' word. Yup, somebody finally said it. Stifel Nicolaus & Co. analyst Steven Wieczynski blames The Big Sands Sell-off on fears that "Las Vegas Sands is in jeopardy of running out of cash and going bankrupt." Sands stock closed the week at a dismal $6.32 a share, 96% off its 52-week high.

The Adelson family, meanwhile, plans to turn its pockets inside out, looking for money.

Gary Jacobs is a good guy. The MGM Mirage executive veep is among the donors supporting California's Proposition 2, which would ban certain forms of cruelty to farm animals. Which earns him this animal lover's vote of thanks.

Other Nevadans are really motivated to donate to Proposition 8. Steve Friess has all the details. Having shot Nevada's economy in the leg with their opposition to gay marriage, some of the same folks may inflict similar economic damage on California. Which is their First Amendment prerogative and amen to that, but I'm not of the misery-loves-company persuasion.

Nevada's casino resorts have been cut out of on a lucrative market segment, although Harrah's Rincon has been among the California ones benefiting from Silver State prudishness, which Harrah's Entertainment has cannily leveraged into some Vegas-honeymoon promotions. If tribal sovereignty doesn't shield Harrah's Rincon and other gay-friendly casinos from Prop 8, I guess that Prop 8 donors from economically blighted Nevada can congratulate themselves on having lopped off their nose to spite their face yet again. Anyway, kudos to Harrah's execs Michael Weaver and Gwen Migita for contributing to the anti-Prop 8 campaign.

Marker for murder? Back where I come from, we call this "motive."

Time Tunnel. How drastically has the Vegas Strip changed since 1992? Follow this awesome photo stream and find out.

This just in: Made-for-cable movie about Lonnie "Ted" Binion stinks. Hey, it's a Lifetime Channel production. What else would you expect?

Vegas = Scary-looking celebs

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 11:23:00 -0700

A while back, I railed against the vapid PR for T&T (as in "tacos and tequila") at Luxor. You know, "rock 'n' roll vibe ... high-energy," all that other buzzword blather.

So last night, the Better Half and myself opted out of the media event in favor of dinner at Lone Star Steakhouse (where the sound system treated us to a truly bathetic C&W Christmas song, I kid you not) and the first two episodes of John Adams ... after having a look-in on a soporific World Series game that was on pace to run 4.5 hours.

But look what we missed! Carrot Top getting up close and personal with Criss Angel -- scarier than an evening at Fright Dome.

I'm not sure what young Mr. Angel means with his sideways 'peace sign' there -- unless he's indicating the number of Cirque du Soleil shows that are outselling his, one which debuted 10 years ago.

(Photo courtesy of Erik Kabik/RETNA.)

Venetian update: I was in an end-of-the-day rush when I posted "Sunday at The Palazzo with Sheldon." So I've gone back, corrected a typo or two, and elaborated on some aspects of the experience. Hopefully this revised version will provide more of a "you are there" feel.

Vegas catchphrase of the year

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:05:00 -0700

For those of us who are at a loss for how to describe CityCenter's mix of glass-clad towers, UNLV's David G. Schwartz has nailed it:

"City Center's six-pack"

Splendid! I will borrow and employ it shamelessly. Schwartz coined this felicitous phrase in the course of likening the Vegas Strip circa 1995-2003 (or up to the point where Treasure Island was de-pirate-ed) to Original Flavor Star Trek. Post-2003 Vegas, with its profusion of sleek skyscrapers and earth tones, therefore can only be ... Star Trek: The Next Generation. (Of course, if visitation dries up and we're all wandering around in a state of disorentation, we'll have become Star Trek: Voyager.)

Quote of the Day

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 12:09:00 -0700

"But I find myself tuning out. Obama is boring. McCain is coming off cranky." -- Andrew Sullivan, having the exact same reaction to the Hofstra debate as did I (who should have watched the Philadelphia Phillies chew up the Los Angeles Dodgers).

Harrah's wants your two cents

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 12:13:00 -0700

Not as in your opinion, this time, but just to book a room. That's right, guys, Harrah's Las Vegas is offering two-cent Tuesdays. The catch is you have to stay in the Strip casino that most closely resembles an urban penetentiary. But at these prices, why let some beastly architecture stand in your way?

One reader takes a less heady view of it, though, opining that "the credit market patient has gone critical." No question, the timing of the casino industry's romance with private equity buyouts was impeccable -- if you mean "impeccably bad," that is.

Thank god it's Friday, because that means tonight is the two-hour premiere of Sanctuary. This series was originally created for the Internet and, when I saw the pilot 'webisode,' a year ago, I couldn't fathom why the SciFi Channel wasn't picking this up (instead of renewing moribund Stargate Atlantis). Yes, it stars Amanda Tapping. Why do you ask?

1 Picture = 1,000 Words. Your caption here.

Case Bets: Aria, 'Stargate', Spain, Sir Charles

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:34:00 -0700

A few quick odds and ends, just for fun ...

At last somebody had the nerve to say what I was merely thinking about the hotel rooms at Aria. That somebody is Chuck Monster, who calls them "supremely underwhelming, even with all the gadgets and gizmos." Thanks for putting into words so well and succinctly, M. Monster.

Another installment in The Greatest Achievement of Western Civilization (aka Stargate SG-1) has come forth upon video. I'm not in the DVD extras this time around, which means I can review it -- and did. I sprang for a supplemental Blu-Ray copy, too, which shows you how pathe ... deeply devoted I am. (If you think that's bad, you should have seen me jumping for joy at Comic Con when I realized I was going to be meeting Amanda Tapping face to face.)

Aw heck, even I know who José Luis Rodriguez Zapatero is and what country he runs. Say, whatever happened to that Harrah's Entertainment megaresort that was slated for Spain? Que pasa, Señor Loveman?

"The Charles Barkley Show" live from Wynn Las Vegas. I'm sure this sounded a lot better in the writers' room. Or else they should have engaged the real Sir Charles to do the sketch. I don't think I'm spilling any trade secrets by saying that Mandalay Bay exec Rick Fields singled out Barkley the other night as an exceptionally amiable and low-maintenance high roller. Many other (unnamed) celebs -- not so much.

I invade France

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:55:00 -0700

... or Gallic television sets, anyway. Last weekend, I had the decidedly surprising experience of being contacted by a reporter from French TV network Canal+. He was looking for someone to interview about the casino industry's role in the 2008 election.

Now, you're probably thinking that I wouldn't be your first (or even 10th) choice for this gig. I can tell you that the same thought crossed my mind several times over. But a friend in academe had put a kind word in for me and, besides, I'd never done the TV talking-head thing, so it looked like an adventure. Sort of like skydiving -- without the parachute.

Which is how I came to be pretending to casually stroll down Las Vegas Boulevard on a sticky Sunday evening, wearing a business suit. It's difficult not to feel like an idiot when you're doing that ... or when answering questions on camera and sensing that every fact you've ever known has just fled your brain. And that the further you bloviate, the more inflated with hydrogen you seem to become, ready to burst into a fireball -- a veritable Hindenblogger.

Filming almost came to a dramatic and violent halt when were accosted near The Venetian by several self-identified Nevada white supremacists, one shirtless, another in a wife-beater and nearly all of them spoiling for a fight.

Cooler heads prevailed, but not before each of us was called "a nigger" and advised to "go back to fucking France." In other words, it was little different than the average "Comments" thread following a Review-Journal story.

Although I'm hoping to get left on the cutting-room floor, the worst-case scenario is that if I'm not, it'll only be seen on French TV and then not until after the November election. Better still, I'll probably be overdubbed in French, which will lend some much-needed sangfroid to my babblings.

Whatever happens, it was a valuable learning experience, as the saying goes (and after seeing the video feed of the Podcast-a-Palooza,* I knew I could use the education). That includes developing a little extra respect for those ubiquitous TV pundits. It may look like falling off a log, but it sure as heck isn't. Except for the falling sensation, of course.

* -- and, no, I am not going to link to the online video feed. My appetite for public self-mortification has its limits.

End of 'The Experience'

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:48:00 -0700

Because, gosh knows, if there's anything Las Vegas desperately needs, it's one more nightclub, Star Trek: The Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton has been marked for death. This has already been noted in an LVA "Question of the Day" and elsewhere. Chuck Monster has also weighed in, including a moving video depiction of the "Wall of Memories": protest after protest, all in vain.

As a birthday present, the Significant Other treated me to ST:TE last weekend. I'm hardly Trek-literate and wish I'd been feeling up to making the round of the museum exhibits and timeline: This is a marvelous resource and worth keeping in town (which CBS/Paramount says it's trying to do). Here and there, one could see evidence that new owner Cedar Fair had been letting things go to seed. But while the costumed "crew" had every reason to feel down in the mouth, all but one or two were in fighting trim, performing their roles with great spirit.

As motion-simulator rides go, "Klingon Encounter" is the best of my experience, a real bronco-buster, even if the concluding footage of the "present-day" Strip circa 1997 is unintentionally amusing. That should have been re-shot years ago. "Borg Invasion" wasn't quite so impressive, despite being far more recent: Sit at the rear of the theater and light spills from the sides diminish the experience; sit up front and the 3-D doesn't align properly.

Still and all, we had a good time and couldn't help noticing the huge turnout. (Hint: Get there a half-hour before the doors open at 11:30 a.m.) The sets, with their winding corridors and plethora of detail, are quite something and I can well understand why it will take three months to load the whole thing out. But it shouldn't have come to this and, starting Sept. 1, there will be one less only-in-Vegas attraction.

Can Colony Capital come up with something equally unique as its replacement? The company's track record gives me scant cause for optimism. I suppose the rumored Michael Jackson venue would be "unique" ... but probably not in a good way.

More bankruptcies predicted

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:26:00 -0700

Financial Week weighs in the casino industry's current doldrums, amplifying the newly recurrent refrain that the revenue diversification which we thought would shield Las Vegas and other destination markets from the bad times is instead increasing its exposure to same. A gentleman over at RateVegas.com/blog was asking why Boyd Gaming said Echelon didn't "make sense" without its retail-mall and boutique-hotel components.

I was a bit stumped for an answer. Aesthetically, Echelon might have looked lopsided if it had opened without those amenities. But, with a bit more foresight, Boyd might have advisedly split the project into phases and mothballed the more troubled southern half before any significant work was done. (Sort of the way Sheldon Adelson once planned to launch successive "Venetian" and "Lido" resorts -- a plan that came a-cropper betwixt the Venetian's craptacular opening, the '01 recession and the post-9/11 blight.)

Such a bifurcation of Echelon would have left the core of the project, including the casino and the Anschutz Entertainment Group-steered concert hall, intact. Hugh Jackson's previously-cited analysis that Boyd got caught up in emulating CityCenter and consequently bit off more than it could chew seems especially pertinent to this aspect of Echelon's freeze. Or, as my Mom used to tell me at the buffet line, "Your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

Of course, we don't have access to whatever financial models Boyd used to determine that the mall, and the Mondrian and Delano hotels planned by attention-deficient Morgans Hotel Group were essential to project's fiscal health. Morgans' contribution can't have been that integral, seeing as Boyd stated publicly that it wasn't necessary that Mondrian and Delano open alongside the rest of Echelon. (Of course, that was back when there was still a slim hope that Morgans could raise the money, so positive thinking was the order of the day.)

Boyd ultimately made the right call and is, again, to be congratulated for going through with what could have been a humiliating decision. I just can't help wondering if coming to that realization sooner might have meant keep at least part of Echelon moving forward for the time being.

Does this look like a $5 billion project to you?

Further down in the Financial Week piece, it forecasts bankruptices for Indiana's usual market laggard, French Lick Resort & Casino, and for Herbst Gaming, which has missed two interest payments. (News that got little, if any, play around here.) Meanwhile, Elad Properties and IDB Group must know something we don't, because they've got their Plaza project budgeted at $4.75 billion-$6.75 billion, once land costs are backed out.

Whatever crystal ball they're using, some folks in Las Vegas would like to borrow it, probably starting with Jim Murren. After all, Moody's is predicting we're going to have endure another year of this slump before the good times return.

Knee-jerk Journalism 101. Our local papers don't usually make it a practice to deride the very conventioneers upon whose patronage we're so reliant. However, exceptions are annually made for the people attending the porn-industry show and the ones who turn out for the Star Trek Convention at the Las Vegas Hilton.

Hence the Las Vegas Sun is treating us to the obligatory "Let's make fun of these strange Trekkies" story. What really puzzles me is that a story about a concert that took place on Saturday didn't run until Tuesday morning. Evidently the rapid-response capabilities of a Web-based business model are as nothing when pitted against human indolence.

Update: The Las Vegas Review-Journal's Doug Elfman shows how this kind of story can and should be done. Bravo, Mr. Elfman.

America's biggest celebrity

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 12:57:00 -0700

Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign rolled out a unique tactic this week: complaining that McCain's opponent is more popular and famous. I suppose you could call it "out of the box" thinking, though it seems a tad whiny to me.

(McCain's ad about Hispanic-Americans shows a far nobler side and is notable for its sobriety and lack of flash. It also takes some cojones to run it, given the virulent anti-Latino sentiment that infects much of the GOP "base" (in multiple senses of the word), especially here in Nevada.

But the McCain people have it all wrong. America's heftiest celebrity is 44-pound stray cat Princess Chunk, the heaviest domestic pussycat in the world. This exemplar of avoirdupois is already scheduled to appear on Good Morning America and Live with Regis and Kelly. Surely the Today show is chomping at the bit to get in on the action. News of the giant feline has made headlines at least as far as Australia -- although I seriously doubt that an American cat-caregiver would say, "how do you lose a 20-kilo cat?" (Journalistic license, mayhap?)

Even Princess (né Captain) Chunk's gender is a source of confusion, so we may to settle on plain old "Chunk." Or "Powder," its given name. And, in a "ripped from the headlines" touch worth of Law & Order, it turns out that Chunk/Powder is just the latest victim of the nationwide foreclosure crisis. Powder's elderly owner found herself out on the street and turned the poor -- if portly -- kitty loose, which is why it was found lumbering about Voorhees, N.J., which sure is getting its 15 minutes of fame.

Anyway, it looks like the behemoth feline will soon find a new home -- and if he/she/it doesn't, maybe Mandalay Bay can give it a comfy domicile. Chunk/Powder might even outdraw that other big bruiser, the Komodo Dragon.

All-star atrocity

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 15:07:00 -0700

Pardon the digression whilst I vent about the bad joke that was last night's MLB All-Star Game (or was it the "State Farm All-Star Game" or something like that? Bud Selig is whoring the national pastime out like a regular pimp daddy). It was Exhibit A for everybody who hates baseball and says the games are too long and slow.

A 290-minute playing time is simply unforgivable, especially when you consider that it was prefaced by 90 minutes or so of huffing and puffing as Fox Sports foot-dragged its way to the first pitch. You'd think it was a presidential inauguration or something. Plus, the hellish 15-inning duration meant that we had to endure more than our fair share of those two Comstock Lodes of conventional wisdom, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.

(Although the "WTF?" moment came from ESPN's normally sagacious Karl Ravech, who offered the seemingly insane opinion that George "The Boss" Steinbrenner was the most beloved person in Yankee Stadium that night. Heck, if fans had to choose between the also-present Yogi Berra and George, Steinbrenner would have trouble finishing third. Besides, has everyone forgotten the petty, vindictive and cruel ways in which Steinbrenner would punish pitchers like Jim Beattie, Hideki Irabu and Donovan Osborne who had the temerity to lose games?)

For an All-Star game, it also had precious few stars. The two managers -- Terry Francona most of all -- were in an obsence hurry to get the marquee players off the field ASAP. Which meant that the game was decided, and that most of it was played, by the second-stringers, not the players voted in by the fans, i.e., the players people were presumably tuning in to see. If truth-in-advertising laws had pertained to Fox's All-Star [sic] Game promotion, the TV spots would have featured Michael Young of the Texas Rangers and George Sherrill of the Baltimore Orioles, not Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez, who made but cameo appearances. "This time it counts?" You'd never know it from how the game was managed.

Just seconds before J.D. Drew clocked a fat fastball into the right-field stands, to erase a 2-0 National League lead, I thought, "He's going to homer on the next pitch and then he'll be more insufferable than ever." What's worse, he was all-too-predictably voted MVP of the game. That honor should have gone to Sherrill or, in a losing cause, the Rockies' Aaron Cook, who both performed extra-long relief stints as the game dragged into the wee hours of the morning, Yankee Stadium time.

But what made the game truly brutal, other than its marathon length, was the "uggla" play of Florida Marlins second-sacker Dan Uggla. If anyone single-handedly managed to lose the game for the NL, it was he. But with Chase Utley having been prematurely pulled, it was nine innings of ineptitude from Uggla that spectators got.

(In fairness to the NL players, they may still have been in a funk from that rambling, unfocused, repetitive and downright depressing speech Ernie Banks gave them in the clubhouse beforehand. Conversely, George Brett's feisty address to the AL crew made me want to grab a bat and have a go.)

Here's a modest suggestion for future All-Star Game managers: Don't yank (pun unintended) your starters until the game appears to be reasonably in hand. Both Francona and Clint Hurdle were congratulating themselves on having gotten everyone into the game. Being down to your last player isn't cause for popping a cork; it's an admission that you weren't managing to win. Heck, except for Mike Scioscia in 2003, nobody's tried that seemingly radical concept. Might be worth looking into again, y'know?

This wasn't a game for the ages. It merely succeeded in lasting for ages.