9/3/2004
Fans of Frugal Fridays should be familiar with the name Deke Castleman. I’ve written about him a few times here, mentioning that he’s my one and only editor, as well as being a dear friend.
But Deke is much more than that. For the past 15 years or so, he’s been the senior editor of Huntington Press, the publishing company that brings you the Las Vegas Advisor, the Pocketbook of Values, Las Vegas Advisor Lite, LasVegasAdvisor.com, LVAGO.com, upwards of 40 books including mine, and so many other things. Anthony Curtis, of course, is the celebrity, while Deke works completely behind the scenes. Yet Anthony and Deke are Siamese twins when it comes to maintaining the high standards of Huntington Press products.
Well, now Deke has a new book out, Whale Hunt in the Desert. It’s about a subject that’s right up my alley: the casino host system. I thought I was familiar with hosts and what they do and how to interact with them to get what we want and all that. Though Brad and I are still mostly low rollers, we sometimes turn into pretty big-time video poker players and get comped to the upscale side of things: airfare, suites, fancy food, gifts, and invitations to casino events. We can live pretty high if we want.
But reading Whale Hunt really opened my eyes! I couldn’t believe just how high it all gets. I’m not gonna give it away, because Deke’s a good storyteller (so it’s a fast and funny book), but I can say that what goes on between the casino and players betting $10,000, $25,000, $50,000, all the way up to $200,000 a hand, is one of the great high-wire acts of all times! And this is the whole story of it.
All right, I’ll give you one example. Though we’ve never stayed at the Mansion at MGM, we’ve attended cocktail parties there. That’s why I was interested to read three pages about it. What really amazed me is the maintenance:
“”When the guests check out of the largest of the villas, the crew that descends consists of four to six villa attendants who make up the rooms; a floral team that replenishes the fresh flowers; a maintenance team that conducts routine inspections of the lighting, air-conditioning, electronics, and facilities; a landscape team that checks on the ponds, fountains, and greenery; and a water-quality team that treats the private pools.””
Of course, that’s the largest of the villas, at around 12,000 square feet — about the size of five suburban houses! This book is full of those kind of details.
Deke has to come out from behind the curtain now and I say it’s about time. I’m proud to recommend Whale Hunt and I wish Deke all the success he deserves.
9/10/2004
The following is a guest column by my friend, John (Lodestone) Kelly, whom many of you know from his “”Video Poker Lost & Found”” column in the Las Vegas Advisor. Those of you who do know VP L&F know that John is one of the funniest gambling writers around.
OPTIMUM STRATEGY WHEN YOU’RE TOO DRUNK TO SEE THE CARDS
Thanks to the genius of software wizards, playing video poker has been reduced to pure science. Expected values are calculated with incredible precision. Every variation has been studied, every game has been analyzed, every penalty card considered. All well and good for the sober player.
But what of that special breed of player that strives to cover his losses by consuming twice the value in cheap alcohol? Where are his strategy cards? There are none. What is his optimum strategy? He knows not. Where did he park his car? He cannot find it. Which lane is his and which is for the oncoming traffic? He cannot be sure.
In support of this hardy, smelly, and short-lived adventurer, we proudly present the world’s only strategy table for drunks.
OPTIMUM DENOMINATION
Nickels have an obvious advantage in that you’ll lose money more slowly, but cocktail service is notoriously slow in low-roller land. Quarters have better service, but will cost you more. BEST BET: Play quarters, one coin at a time! Sure, you’ll lose 2% or so of your EV, but that’s peanuts compared to the increased liquor flow. Discerning drunks should play one-coin in dollars, for higher-quality liquor and younger (and hence faster) cocktail waitresses. Discerning drunks in a hurry should pretend to play something in the high-roller salons — service is great there!
OPTIMUM LOCATION
The obvious answer would seem to be the bar (duh), but bartenders are keen to spot potential problems well before strangers start fighting over who vomited on whom. While it’s good strategy to “”warm up”” at the bar, experienced players/drinkers know when to say when and will to a machine near the bar, directly in the cocktail waitresses’s path.
OPTIMUM CASINO
There are two schools of thought:
1. Drink/play in dives (El Cortez, Western, Gold Strike, etc.), as your drunkenness is less likely to be noticed there. Disadvantage: hangovers, rough treatment from security, being robbed.
2. Drink/play in the swankiest of the swank (Bellagio, Venetian, Rampart), which are less likely to make a scene, as they have an illusion of pretentiousness to maintain. Also, they may mistakenly think you have a serious bankroll and won’t want to risk throwing your semi-conscious carcass out the back door before you’ve lost it all. Disadvantages: overzealous security and patrons with overzealous personal bodyguards.
OPTIMUM GAME
Deuces, because even when your vision starts to tunnel and fail, you can still (generally) pick out (and hold) which cards are deuces (they have that writing on the bottom).
Jacks or Better is also good, because you’ll at least be able to recognize face cards, although aces can be tricky.
Avoid Double Bonus, as quads are key here and after some serious “”play,”” every hand will look like a quad to you. Or a quint.
Avoid Joker Wild, as the unsettling appearance of the joker’s features has been known to trigger a case of the DTs on the spot.
Avoid multi-play machines, as attempting to comprehend so many hands at once can cause premature unconciousness.
OPTIMUM STRATEGY RANK TABLE
1. Pass out on the machine. Neat, clean, and a minimum of fuss. Will garner quick attention of employees, who will be assist you in moving elsewhere, as you’re tying up a profit-making device, thus promptly cutting your losses.
2. Ask the people next to you what they would do. Not only will they undoubtedly have more of a clue than you, but they may summon security, thus promptly ending your losses.
3. Throw up (a.k.a. “”cashing out”” or “”jackpotting””) on another patron. This strategy has the added advantage of causing some temp
9/17/2004
This week I’d like to share some things I’ve found on the Internet recently that give helpful information for gamblers and Vegas visitors — or at least might be interesting to them:
1. Are you a teacher or do you have skills in the medical field? You can really get lucky fast in your job-hunting in Vegas if you’re thinking about moving here, as there’s a severe shortage in these two areas. This is especially critical in the medical field, and hospitals are giving juicy bonuses for trained personnel who will locate here. For more information. teachers can go to http://ccsd.net/jobs. Medical professionals can go to http://www.helpnevada.com.
2. Here’s an interesting study about the health benefits of gambling, especially for us seniors: http://tinyurl.com/5hyfe.
3. Video poker is usually a benign enjoyable entertainment option, but this article relates a story where video poker turned lethal. http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2004/Apr-02-Fri-2004/news/23575815.html.
4. For a good article by Bob Dancer that tells video poker players how to choose a “good” casino, go to http://www.casinogaming.com/columnists/dancer/2004/0210.html.
5. I’ve been hearing some good things about a company called ValetNoir. On their Web site, http://www.valetnoir.com, they state: “ValetNoir is a gaming software and travel company which operates offices in Las Vegas. ValetNoir, a venture-backed company, provides independent casino representation and player development services to a growing number of casino operators in Las Vegas, Laughlin, Lake Tahoe, New Orleans, Reno, Atlantic City, Europe, and shipboard on cruise lines. ValetNoir is an independent company, which operates on contract with certain casino properties to represent players. ValetNoir staff members usually deal directly with the same management that manages the internal casinos own hosts. ValetNoir hosts are highly trained in gaming and the casinos we represent. ValetNoir hosts have seen every level of room in every property we represent and deal daily with high rollers and people on their annual vacation. ValetNoir is adding a major casino property, on average, every month.”
I would consider checking out their gambling junket programs as one option to arrange for a casino vacation. They may or may not be able to give you more benefits than going through a specific casino Web site or your host, if you have one. But it wouldn’t hurt to check out what they can offer, especially if you don’t have a host at the property that you want to visit.
I’ve had one reliable reporter recommend the following ValetNoir hosts: Connie Cardamone ([email protected]) and Jaime Lynne Konzelman ([email protected]).
6. A warning of a problem that might spread to online gambling:
“According to a Gamer.tv survey, young people are spending so much time playing games online that they’re too tired for sex. More than 60 percent of 1,000 young men and women interviewed during London Games Week said they are too tired mentally and physically for sex after playing computer games an average of three hours a night. Said one referring to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer game, ‘My girlfriend is threatening to leave me unless we make love by Wednesday, which is all very well, but I’d much rather finish off Buffy and Willow first.’” — From Fantini’s Morning Gaming Report, at [email protected].
That’s all, folks! Enough is enough!
9/24/2004
1. The always-full-of-valuable-info VIVA LAS VEGAS newsletter has become the VEGASRESOURCE.COM newsletter. You’ll still get the good stuff from Billhere, just under a different name! The new Internet site is found at www.VegasResource.com, which has split into two divisions. You can e-mail the newsletter division to get your free subscription started at [email protected]. The coupon division can be reached at [email protected].
2. EVERYTHING LAS VEGAS, another popular newsletter about all things Las Vegas, is now sponsored by vegasmediagroup.com. New sign-up site: www.vegaslists.com/mailman/listinfo/everythinglasvegas.
3. I just heard from Dan Paymar, who has moved from Las Vegas to retire in New Mexico, where he and his wife can spend more time with their family. They plan to come back to Vegas often and he will continue putting out his newsletter, Video Poker Times, for at least another year. He’s keeping his same Web site, www.OptimumPlay.com, and his same e-mail address, [email protected]. His new mailing address is 1118 Fairgrounds Road, Farmington, NM 87401.
The second edition of his book Video Poker — Optimum Play just came back from the printer. “Lots of minor corrections and updates, new section on Attractiveness Index, Sorokin formula replaces older risk of ruin formula, and a new cover.” He also reports that he’s finally close to releasing his Optimum Video Poker software program. I’ll be sure to let you know when this is out. It will run on any Windows 95 or later operating system (but ME is not fully compatible). And here’s the best part: I know all you Mac lovers have been anxiously awaiting a program you could use without expensive transfer software. This will be it, running on any PowerPC Mac with OS 8.5-9.2.
I know I speak for many of us who have appreciated Dan’s VP help down through the years: We wish for him and Mary a very relaxed and happy retirement.
4. Although I highly recommend the above resources, this next one I must recommend with some reservations. The longtime weekly Gaming Today tabloid newspaper has a new look — an interesting up-side-down one. Look at it in the usual way and you’ll see the usual name and the general casino news and sport articles that you have read for years.
However, turn it to the back page and flip it around and you’ll see a new name, Slots Today, a brand “new” magazine, where all the non-sports gaming news and columns are included, including my favorite, the gossip column by the inimitable Monti Rock III. There are columns about keno, craps, bingo, poker, and slot machines, as well as new games. But as with all gaming writing, you must always be careful that you’re not taken in by too rosy a picture or “sure-fire systems” for negative games. I particularly recommend the columns by Scot Krause, since he gives valuable information for gamblers who want to add value to the games by using promotions and slot club benefits. The only VP column I can recommend is by Elliot Frome, who gives helpful video poker information based on sound mathematical principles, as did his late father Lenny, who wrote for Gaming Today for many years.
So you may see either side of this dual format facing you when you check the freebie racks around town, but be assured you’ll get both papers when you see either one.
5. Here are some interesting facts about LV from the latest Zagat survey, reported by the Fantini Morning Report. To no one’s surprise, price changes are all up!
Restaurants: The average meal rose 3.4% to $34.60. Those surveyed tip 18.7%, the most generous in the country. The most expensive 20 restaurants averaged a $70.67 tab, up 5%, but still below other major cities. The average drink in a nightclub is $9.42, up 12% and higher than other cities.
6. And sometimes the government causes change. This just in from Troy, Alabama: Police raided a plain metal building on the outskirts of Troy, seizing 60 video gambling machines