Jean Scott's Frugal Vegas

Frugal Fridays – August 2005

Posted on August 3, 2005 by queen of comps

8/4/2005

Math experts find it easy to figure what percentage a casino slot club gives as benefits. They start assigning x’s and y’s to unknown elements of an algebraic equation, then they take it from there. I don’t know about you, but I never used much algebra once I went out and got a job in the real world. My career choice was one that demanded more principles of psychology than formulas of mathematics — teaching English to high school boys (mostly) who hated to read. I struggled through a couple of algebra courses in college, but even that knowledge, rarely used, is about as rusty as it gets. I know there are many players in this same boat, because I get so many e-mail and personal questions about how to figure out the value of slot club benefits.

So many people ask me how to figure this without using algebra that several years ago I created a six-step “”easy” method. Sorry, but this does involve arithmetic — there’s simply no way around it — so make nice neat columns and keep your decimal points in the right place.

1) Determine how many dollars (A) you have to put through a machine to get one point.

2) Determine how many points (B) you have to earn to get $1 in benefits.

3) Multiply A times B. That number (C) is how much you have to put through the machine to earn $1 in benefits.

4) Now divide $1.0000 by C. That number (D) will have four decimal places.

5) Move the decimal point to the right two places (E).

6) Add a percent (%) sign to E and — hooray! — you have your slot club benefit percentage.

Here’s an example using this “”easy”” method and the simplest slot club point system at — let’s call it — Casino Easy.

The club brochure tells you that you earn 1 point for every dollar you put in the machine. That’s easy: $1 coin-in equals 1 point earned. Okay, you have this first figure: $1 (A).

Now you have to find out how many points you must earn to get $1 cashback. Fortunately, you see a sign at the slot club desk that says they give you $10 for 4,000 points. Also fortunately, you remember the math trick you learned in grade school that if you want to divide by 10 in your head, you just cut off a zero at the end of a number. So you do that and you have your second number. To get $1 you have to earn 400 points (B).
Now you multiply $1 (A — the number you arrived at in number 1) times 400 (B — the number you arrived at in number 2) and come up with $400 (C).

Divide 1.0000 by 400 and you get .0025 (D).

Move the decimal point two places and you have .25 (E)

Add the % sign and — hooray! — you’ve now figured out that this slot club pays .25% (or one-quarter of 1%, to state it another way), which means 25¢ for every $100 coin in.

What’s that? You say that this still isn’t very easy? Well, you’re right.

Most of us were floundering in this ocean of math confusion until Jim Wolf’s Frugal Video Poker software came out in 2002. When he originally showed me the beta version of this software, I asked him if there was anything he could do to help all of us players who were not mathematically inclined to be able to figure slot club benefit percentages faster and easier. Expert computer programmer that he was, he replied, “Piece of cake!”

And so today, if you have the FVP software, you can cut this cake fast and truly easy by using the Slot Club Cashback Calculator. It figures the percentage value of cashback (or comps) and adds it to the VP game you’ve chosen, so you can quickly come up with the total value of this play.

People ask me why I gave Jim permission to put “Frugal” in the name of this software. With this slot club calculator feature (and many others that are unique) added to the basic functions of analyzing almost any game return, tutoring you as you play, and letting you generate strategy charts that you can print out, I feel that this is the one best resource available today to help you become a more skilled VP player.

8/12/2005

I thought you all might like the trip report filed by my grandchildren. Read it and decide for yourself if Vegas is still family friendly!

Our July Las Vegas Vacation
by Kaitlynn Starr, age 10,
with additional notes by Zachary, age 12

This has been the best summer ever! What made it really fun was going to Las Vegas to visit my Grandma Jean and Grandpa Brad.

The trip to Nevada from Georgia was a long process. First we drove three hours from Columbus to Birmingham, Alabama. We stayed at a hotel so we could “park and fly.” The next morning we got up early and took a shuttle van to the airport. We got on a Southwest airplane, for free using my grandma’s frequent-flyer certificates. The non-stop flight to Las Vegas took a little over three hours, and then we were finally in Las Vegas.

We met Grandma and Grandpa in the airport, got our luggage, and went to pick up the rental car at New York-New York. Then all of us went to the Palms to eat at the coffee shop, because after that long trip on the plane, we were really hungry. Since Grandma had broken her foot just before we came, we had to push her in a wheelchair all over creation! (Zachary: It was fun pushing her downhill, but hard pushing her up hills.)

My brother and I stayed at our grandparent’s condo while Mom and Dad stayed at the condo of friends. That night we finally got to cool down when all of us went swimming in their condo pool, even Grandma with her broken foot!

The next morning my mom and I went to get manicures and pedicures at the Palms Salon using slot club points. When we came home, Grandma’s hairdresser, Cindy, showed up at the condo to cut everyone’s hair. Then all the girls dressed up and met Grandma’s friends for Afternoon Tea at Bellagio. I practiced my good manners while I was there. I wasn’t too fond of the food, but I guess my taste buds don’t like all that fancy stuff yet. That night we all six met friends and went to the Alize restaurant on top of the Palms for dinner and it was very fancy. It was hard for me to choose what I wanted to order, because I didn’t recognize some of the French food names! (Z: My food was all seafood that grossed some people out.)

The next day Grandma had to speak at a seminar at the Sunset Station casino. While she was doing that, Zach and I went to the Kids Quest. I was a little disappointed that our favorite Kids Quest at the Palms was closed, but I’m excited about playing at the new remodeled one next summer. (Z: I’m bummed, because I’ll be too old to go there any more. But maybe I’ll try to fake my age.)

That night Zach and I stayed at the Rio with my Mom and Dad in a comped suite. In the evening we walked over to the Gold Coast to see “Forever Plaid.” If you ask me, it was hilarious! It was a little dull at first, but it got a lot better and I enjoyed it. (Z: It was very funny and had some cool songs.) After swimming at the Rio’s sand-beach pool the next morning, we rode on one of the floats in “The Parade in the Sky.” It usually costs $9.95 per person, but, of course, it was paid with comps. (Z: It was fun. Everyone down below us looked like ants.) After such a long day, we relaxed in the room and got a good night’s rest.

On Friday morning we went back to Grandma’s condo to pack for Astro Camp, which Zach and I were going to attend in California for the next week. This would give the adults some time to do grown-up things without kids tagging along.

Saturday morning our parents took us to the airport and we flew by ourselves to California. Astro Camp is a science camp that is awesome! After a fun week, we flew back to Las Vegas. The plane was so full that we almost got bumped –- Zach and I volunteered! (Z: The turbulence was so bad I thought we would have to make an emergency landing.) We only had energy the rest of the day to take a swim.

Mom and Dad stayed in a Venetian suite for our last three days in Las Vegas and we got to stay over with them one night.

8/19/2005

This week I want to talk about some psychological aspects of gambling. No, I haven’t deserted arithmetic. Anyone who has read my gaming writings for the last seven years knows I’ve written continually about the wisdom of following proven math principles. I still believe that all short-term sessions add up to the long term. More important, no money-management plan can turn a negative game into a positive one, and increasing your bet when you’re losing is the surest way to end up broke.

However, most gamblers make short-term goals that have a strong psychological base. Even the skillful gambler who has complete faith in the math does not become a robot–and as human beings we bring our human weaknesses with us into a casino. Most gamblers, skilled or not, have said to themselves at one time or another, “Why didn’t I quit when I was ahead?” Or “Why didn’t I quit when I reached my pre-determined stop-loss figure?”

I’ve written a lot about when to quit a playing session: for comfort reasons, like when you’re tired or hungry or cold; or for math reasons, like when a promotion has ended and it’s no longer a good play. But emotional reasons are just as valid, and one of the strongest is when you win a jackpot. Take time to celebrate and savor your win!

In More Frugal Gambling I write about one gambler who pleaded, “Do you have any advice on money management in Las Vegas? My usual plan of losing every cent I can get my hands on is not very effective.” Gambling has a very strong pull and it takes a lot of self-discipline to resist the temptation to take leave of our common sense, to let greed guide our actions. Nowhere is this more evident than when you win big on a machine. At one point or another, we’ve all said to ourselves, “Well, I finally got lucky and hit a jackpot–and some of this money is going to go home with me!” But then you continue to sit there and feed it all back into the machine. Or you hit a lucky streak at the tables and think about the good feeling you’ll have going home with some winnings. But then you keep playing and lose it all back. When you finally do quit, do you feel miserable and play the “I Wish” game for days after?

I know many gamblers who’ve tried to lock up some of their winnings to take home: sealing it in an envelope, locking it in a suitcase, even giving it to the spouse. But the envelopes get ripped open, the suitcases get unlocked, and the spouse relents and gives you back the money after you beg and plead.

Recently, I was introduced to a product that addresses this problem and can give a little help to your self-control in a casino. In fact, I was so impressed with the Winners Bank200 that it’s now available to order at www.FrugalGambler.biz. It’s a small durable locked metal bank you can slip in your pocket or purse and take to the casino. It has a slot where you can insert bills, coins, or chips that you really want to take home with you. Once at home, where you’ve left the keys to the bank, you can open it and be happy you were able to bring back some winnings.

While you’re at our Web site, you might want to check out another handy gaming product, one that can help you get all your slot cards organized. The leather My Card-It wallet has a patented safety ring that allows you to easily slip in and out any plastic card as you need it. You can keep it strictly for casino slot cards, or add all the cards you carry, like identification and insurance cards and credit cards.

8/26/2005

Recently, a friend sent me a clipping from a small-town newspaper, the headline being “Find Positive New Definition for “F” Word — Frugality.” It was a syndicated Cheapskate feature by Mary Hunt. Here are excerpts from her column:

“Frugal! That word once repulsed me. Being thought of as cheap was to me the ultimate insult. I equated frugality with digging through dumpsters in search of food and who knows what else.

“To me, cheap people skipped out without leaving a tip. They were slovenly in appearance, lacking dignity and self-respect.

“I accepted the offers of freedom that credit-card companies offered to me. I could fix up the house, treat the kids, have new clothes, drive nice cars — just about anything I could think of. And it worked for a while.

“When I came to my senses, I wasn’t experiencing freedom. I sold myself into bondage one dollar at a time.

“Frugality doesn’t mean you have to become someone you aren’t. Frugality means doing whatever it takes to spend less than you earn. Frugality is understanding that if you say yes to one thing, you may need to say no to something else. Frugality is about deciding what really matters and not living to impress others.

“If you don’t start telling your money where to go, you’ll always wonder where it went.”

This article got me thinking about the use of the word “frugal” in my life. I’ve written that I’ve been known in the past, much to my daughter’s embarrassment, to look in a casino trash can and fish out a good coupon, even if I did have to wipe some ketchup off it. I’m not as bad at this as I used to be. But when a casino sends out valuable coupon books to everyone in our condo complex, you might see Brad and me doing some ginger dumpster diving. (We don’t lose our self-respect at these times, but perhaps our dignity does suffer a bit!)

I still love to shop at second-hand stores, on a quest for bargains for my grandchildren as I did twenty-five years ago for my children. With my experienced eye for quality, no one would know that they’re not dressed from a fancy store at the mall.

It probably won’t surprise you that I have a lot to say about frugality –- especially of its powerful influence through 21 years of casino gambling. Next week I’ll talk about some of the ways that being frugal has made this avocation so successful –- and so much fun.

In the meantime, you might go to http://tinyurl.com/2gbhh and find out if you’re a “demon customer.” I’m probably guilty as charged, in or out of a casino!

(And here’s a nifty little computer tip for you, non-gambling related, but very handy. The URL in the previous paragraph was originally 92 characters long, too long for one line. But I went to http://tinyurl.com/create.php where they quickly and easily cut it down for me to the 24-character one I gave above. That’s being thrifty with letters!)

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Frugal Fridays – July 2005

Posted on July 3, 2005 by queen of comps

7/1/2005

Although I’m on the outside of the casino business, that is, on the player’s side of the fence, I like to read about the inside of it. Some may quote the old adage about knowing your enemy, although I’ve always said I’m not fighting the casino; rather, I’m battling the casino edge. However, down through the years I’ve found that the more I know about the casino business, the more opportunities I can find to increase my own bottom line.

Below is an article written by my good friend Glenn Buxton, who’s been in the gaming business for more than 15 years. It was first published in the Global Gaming Business Weekly and clearly shows that casino executives aren’t perfect. This article might shed some light on the question of why some casino programs are so unorganized and so many policies puzzle the player.

WEIRD SCENES INSIDE THE FANTASY FACTORY
By Glenn Buxton

The Dilbert-ization of Marketing

The cliché “we have met the enemy and they are us” often rings true when it comes to casino marketing. Not many people truly understand the comprehensive tasks involved in effective casino marketing, but everyone certainly has an opinion on what “they” think it should be.

Company politics, turf battles, and the ever-familiar “too many chiefs and not enough Indians” are a far greater challenge to both seasoned and newly anointed marketing department heads than getting profitable customers to the property.

Governmental policies; regulatory considerations; company politics; corporate, vendor, friend, and family influence; not giving the marketing department the authority it needs to make the proper decisions, but then holding it accountable for the micromanagement of non-departmental influences — at the end of the day these are the greatest obstacles an effective marketing-department head needs to overcome to navigate successfully throughout the increasingly Dilbert-infested waters surrounding today’s casino-marketing functions.

Following are the top ten truths about the gaming business that “they” don’t want you to know . . .

It’s a Very Stressful Business
Not only is it a 24-hour-day 7-day-a-week business, but mix in people drinking and gambling and all the ingredients for a volatile situation are complete. The intensity of the gambler’s emotions is often directed directly at the front-line employees. To throw a little salt in the wound, management then schedules employees for awkward shifts, sections, and days off, making breakdowns in the “fantasy factory” façade even more likely. This usually manifests in high turnover rates in the gaming business, as well as frequent absenteeism and malicious obedience, which usually shows up in secret shopper reports where you learn “you get what you inspect, not what you expect” from your staff. Clichés such as “while the cat’s away, the mice will play” and “out of sight, out of mind” are closer to statements of fact in most gaming establishments. Supervisors and managers will “smoke and joke” and abuse their power for their own benefit at every opportunity –- resulting in a trickle-down effect that the customer experiences as long lines, rude, slow, and apathetic service, improper staffing and scheduling.

Highest Incidence of Gambling
Gaming-business employees have the highest incidence of gambling of any group. Being around people gambling day after day makes casino employees think they can win too. This causes even more problems for both work morale and, after being out gambling and losing money, the temptation to steal from/scam/cheat their casino employer

Nepotism, Favoritism and Worse
Friends and relatives of those with the power to schedule shifts, pay, days/time off and on, promotions, etc. are often treated more favorably than the rank-and-file hard-working employees, who then quickly become demoralized, resulting in not only increased turnover, but even more difficulty in getting consistent good customer service

7/8/2005

Sheesh! My files are overflowing with e-mails from readers who have commented on past Frugal Friday columns. So here goes! (If you want to read old columns I refer to, go to www.lasvegasadvisor.com/frugalfridays-archive.cfm.)

Another Southwest Airline tip: “Did you know that with Southwest you can now check in online at 12:01 a.m. on the day of travel and if you don’t have access to a printer, you can reprint your boarding pass at the airport and still maintain your A boarding group?”

———-

On the topic of Balance in a Gambler’s Life, I received this post from a former Southern California gal who wrote about switching from the losing slots to knowledgeable VP when she moved to Las Vegas.

“July 2003 — Time to get serious!! Set up a $3,000 bankroll in a separate account for full-pay Deuces Wild. Have earned 27 comped nights, countless free meals, 3 or 4 tanks of gas, and approximately $100 in gift certificates to the mall and other stores. Hit 4 deuces countless times and just hit my third royal two weeks ago.

“I’ve lived here for 2 months as of today. Where am I now? At $2,707 of my original bankroll, with another $40 in cashback floating around town, as well as about $50 in comps. If I so wished, I could eat free for half my meals this month (assuming 3 meals per day). Las Vegas rocks!

“I don’t have time to participate in drawings or raffles. The above is merely by joining slot clubs, playing only VP, and sometimes going on multiple-point days. I go when I have time, but try to stay balanced with a life outside the casino that includes a full time job. It’s all about balance and discipline.”

[Our correspondent is too modest to mention this, but I happen to know that she’s a full-time teacher of hearing-impaired elementary students in a very poor part of town.]

——

Here’s a post from someone else on the same general subject:

“I enjoyed reading The Frugal Gambler long ago and have recommended it often since. But I’m curious about your perspective on advantage play versus work. This may even be interesting for a column. As a minister’s daughter, your approach emphasized values like honesty and frugality. But an advantage player doesn’t actually produce anything and instead merely transfers value from other people. Perhaps a poker pro keeps the game alive to provide recreation for amateur ‘fish.’ But blackjack and video poker players exploit casino weaknesses to enrich themselves at the expense of casino shareholders.

“It’s not immoral to play fair and win, especially since casinos are always begging people to play. But it seemed like you were pre-retirement when you started devoting serious time to video poker and advantage-play exploits. At one time you were playing dollar machines, so the EV was not astronomical. It was probably more flexible, but not better paying than a teaching job. Since Vegas had a terrible shortage of teachers, it seemed like a real shame to waste your talent playing video poker instead of educating children. Your clear books prove you are a great teacher!

“Of course, you have no obligation to teach, and many others have left the profession. To your credit you have shared your knowledge of video poker and enriched the lives of many recreational players. As a fellow educator, I wonder whether you considered the social impact of quitting teaching for advantage play? Maybe these decisions were unconnected. You might have family reasons for quitting work or moving to Vegas. Do you have any thoughts on the tradeoff between the social contribution through work and advantage play?”

My answer to this reader:

We only took vacation trips to Vegas from Indy when we were both still working. We didn’t play as much then as after we retired. We never really planned to get this involved in casino stuff. We were just looking for reasonable vacations. It sort of grew on us.

7/14/2005

About the positive side of gambling: “I understand the negative connotations associated with ‘gambling’; I hear the note of disapproval in the comments from friends when I admit to studying video poker books or confess I’m heading to Las Vegas yet again. It’s the same tone I hear from my doctor when I admit I like to have a glass of wine (or two…) with my dinner, but that’s another story.

“The point is that gambling can be tremendous recreational fun. My parents have become quite the gamblers. Because they live in Tennessee, they have to plan a trip to pursue their gambling, and as they’ve gotten older, the number of trips they’re taking has increased. I have other family members who see this as problematic. I, however, think it’s great they’ve found something to do in their ‘senior years’ that gives them great pleasure. It’s a heck of a lot better than sitting at home watching TV every day. And for them, I think they feel secure in the controlled environment of a casino. Let’s face it. You can take care of a lot of needs in one place when you’re in a casino — food, entertainment, and in many cases, a place to sleep and shop. All without expending a lot of effort.

“Obviously, gambling presents a problem for some people. But for others, it’s entertainment, pure and simple. And anything that provides a little fun and diversion in this scary day and age can’t be all bad.”

About TITO (ticket-in-ticket-out): “I’m still surprised (and a little annoyed) to see people bringing numerous tickets up to the cashier. The cashier then has to total them all up with a calculator or adding machine, then do the payout. Jeez, how long will it take for people to realize they can run them all through a machine and bring one ticket to the cashier?”

Responding to the “Dealing with the Heat” guest column (May 6), a friend whose husband worked in the tire business for 19 years wrote: “My husband was upset to see Brian recommending that people use those cans of flat-tire repair stuff. He said it can destroy your tires, and it’s extremely dangerous to the person to whom you ultimately bring the tire for repair. He said the better suggestion is just to be sure you have a good inflated spare tire.”

About personal safety for gamblers: “Be careful letting others see your address in casinos. One of the home invasions in Las Vegas happened on the same street as a local Las Vegas video poker player. Considering this was a gated street and the home invasion happened at 10:30 in the morning, no one is safe.

”There’s been a sizable increase in home invasions in Las Vegas in recent years. Maybe it’s happening due to the influx of population. Whatever the reason, these thugs are breaking in armed to the teeth. One way to keep a low profile is always refuse publicity shots or the posting of your name if you win a jackpot, prize or drawing in a casino. Even if it says in the rules that you must allow publicity, should you win still say no. Some years ago Gaming Today( back then it was called the Sports Form) posted the picture and name of a local couple who won a $68,000 slot jackpot. They were robbed at gunpoint in their home a couple of days later.”

Frugal Fridays – June 2005

Posted on June 3, 2005 by queen of comps

6/3/2005

TAKING MY OWN ADVICE

“Just ask.”
I keep all the material for each casino where we play in its own Ziplock bag — slot cards, coupons, information about hosts and comps, mailers, requirements for bounce-back, whatever. Although I try to be careful with these, I somehow lost my Harrah’s baggie. I could replace the slot cards easy enough, but there were some valuable cash coupons that I figured were gone forever. Most of these have all sorts of warnings on them that they cannot be replaced, so I just kissed that money goodbye.

However, the next time I stopped at the Rio slot club desk for another reason, I told the boothling about our loss, then asked, “I don’t suppose there’s anything you can do about this?” She went to a computer in a back room and, after some time, came back with five slips of paper –- three for Brad and two for me. We took them to the cashier and walked out with an extra $136 in our pockets!

“Always read casino mail carefully.”
I’d pretty well washed my hands of the XXX Casino. They’d taken out the good VP games we had been playing — $1 NSUD (Not-So-Ugly Deuces) –- and replaced them with a lower pay schedule. Plus, they’d been cutting down the amount of our “welfare checks” – the bounce-back bonuses we Vegas locals love so much. And then our monthly mailers arrived with four anemic coupons attached, ones that wouldn’t pay for us to brave the traffic crossing the Strip to collect. I almost pitched both into the trash without reading them, but at the last moment scanned one. Hmmm… they’re giving 3x points one day a week. Let me figure what the total play would be worth with three times the cashback, even on fairly ugly ducks. I crunched the numbers and found a good percentage play for the month, even with just a weak bounce-back bonus.

“Talk to other experienced scrambling players to get information that will help you find better plays, learn to use the slot club and comp system better, and increase your chances of leaving the casinos with more money in your pocket.”
I don’t publicize good plays in my public writing as much as I used to. 1) They’re too likely to get burned out by those players who do not use good judgment and aren’t interested in moderation tactics to make them last longer. And 2) Too many casino executives read my stuff and will pull any good play I recommend.

However, if you talk to me personally, I’m always happy to answer questions and give advice. And I’m grateful for all the expert players who share their scouting secrets with me. It’s hard for one person or couple living in Vegas to keep up on all the ins and outs of smart gambling. Networking –- in person and on the Internet –- is one of the most important keys to success. That’s why I’m at my computer many many hours a week!

6/10/2005

Casinos are determined to make me eat my words!

“”So, there’s simply no reason I can think of why you would want to leave any cashback in a slot club account beyond your current trip.””

That’s part of the answer I wrote for the June 5th Question of the Day — for which I’m called an Expert Contributor — on the homepage of this Web site. I’d been given this question some time before that date – and glibly wrote out that answer, just like I WAS an “expert.”

In case you missed it, here was the question:

Q: Is it better to cash in our cashback dollars at the end of each trip or to let them build up over time at the casino? We know that if we don’t return in 18 months, our player’s account will go dead and we’ll lose our cashback money.

After I wrote and submitted this answer, the Coast properties came out with a June promo that pays you $50 in a Visa shopping card for $40 worth of cashback points – and you can redeem your old points for this as well as currently earned ones in June!!! Murphy’s Law is alive and well in casino matters. Guess who just cashed in a bunch of stored up Coast points in March?

It’s a fact that a lot of casinos wipe out cash and/or comp points in a certain length of time, varying from the end of an out-of-town trip to perhaps two or three years. This is not always published in the slot club literature; it can happen whether you frequently play in that casino or not at all, and you’re usually not sent a letter warning you of this ominous event. Your slot club account can disappear when casinos go bankrupt, get sold, are imploded, or simply change to a new system.

All that being said, it’s usually wiser to keep your slot club account cleaned out, especially if you don’t live near the casino and/or aren’t able to get to it at short notice. If the casino is one where you play frequently and if you make an effort to keep very alert for slot club news and changes, you might be safe in letting your points accumulate just in case a juicy promotion comes up where you can take advantage of a lot of stored points.

Although I’ve now been told that these promotions do pop up now and then, we’ve belonged to casino slot clubs for 17 years and this is the first one we’ve ever come across where we wished we hadn’t cashed in our points so often. However, considering all the interest we’ve earned by banking cashback, we might still be ahead anyway. So we collect our cashback fairly often. Hey, we’re getting to the age that we don’t even like to buy too many green bananas!

On a side note, I should mention Question of the Day (QoD), which, again, is found here at LasVegasAdvisor.com. This is by far the best question-and-answer format on Las Vegas that I know of — in print, online, anywhere. I can tell you that Huntington Press has hired an employee who’s dedicated to doing nothing but QoD, and the research that goes into these answers is nothing less than awesome.

Note that the day the question is posted, anyone can come and read it. But as soon as it moves into the archive at 12:01 the next day, it’s available only to members of the Las Vegas Advisor. So I highly recommend that everyone return to the homepage here every day to check out the question and answer. The range of subject matter and the depth of information posted are well worth the few minutes it takes.

6/17/2005

By Guest Columnist, John (Lodestone) Kelly

Casinos don’t care about you and me, and with good reason. We’re low rollers. Small fry. Peasants. Pond scum. So I tend not to waste my worries on the whys and what-fors concerning their indifferent treatment of most customers. But surely they take pains to lavish their $100 players with soothing, tranquil, elegant surroundings. Right? Wrong! My pursuit of the best possible play sometimes takes me into the home of the high and mighty, and I’m appalled to find out that the other half lives much the same as you and me. My least-loved high-roller areas:

NEW YORK-NEW YORK
Located near the front entrance of the casino, the layout funnels the confused and the drunk into what appears to be the most direct route into the casino. In reality, they are wandering into the high-roller salon, and a dead end. Thus, the following scenario is repeated about once every 30 seconds:

“It’s THIS way guys! THIS way!!!” says the lead drunk, typically resembling “Cousin Eddie” from the movie Vegas Vacation. At least one member of his entourage will elbow every high roller in the head on the way in.

“NO. WAIT. IT’S A DEAD END!!! $#!+!”. The party now stumbles to a halt, confused. They mill and gawk.

“HEY! THIS FELLER’S PLAYING A DOLLAR MACHINE!” They gather to watch me play and root loudly.

“HEY THIS FELLER’S PLAYING A HUNDRED DOLLAR MACHINE!!” They lose interest in me, much to my relief. They elbow me in the head on their way to disturb a whale.

While this layout is unfortunate, it’s readily remedied. Any sort of red velvet rope would gently guide all but the most navigationally challenged customer into the main casino. I, and many other patrons, have suggested something of the sort to the slot attendants, who all shrug and reply that management likes it this way. Why? I can only guess that they believe that displaying $100 machines to newbies will embolden them to bet more than they had planned. A possibility, I suppose. But consider some of my more intimate encounters with the masses as a result of this phenomenon:
1) “I sense an aura of good fortune that SURROUNDS you!” declared one crystal-waving young woman and her bearded robed boyfriend. I was about $800 down at that point and decided to call it a day.
2) “Watcha doing? You wanna party?” said a provocatively dressed gum-chewing young woman. I went to go play quarters with the wife.
3) “Excuse me sir. Where’s the latrine?” The clothing and hairstyle of the young man strongly suggested that he was no longer in the service. I directed the vet to the nearest men’s room and departed.

PALMS
Off-the-beaten path and nicely appointed, but marred by the favorite pastime of Palms employees, gossiping about other Palms employees. I know way too much about the personal lives of the Palms staff.

RAMPART
Luxurious and reasonably isolated, but they plopped the only cashier on that entire side of the casino right in the middle of it. So every coupon-bearing looky-loo passes time in line commenting on your play.

SUNCOAST
Location, location, location. Its location, right in the middle of the casino, in front of the cashier’s cage, ensures plenty of foot traffic. Its cul-de-sac layout ensures that none of this foot traffic will readily reach their destination.

FIESTA
Again, right in the middle of everything. At least there are no dead ends, so there are fewer elbows and naughty words.

So who gets it right? The best high-roller area that I can think of is the Venetian’s. Secluded, roomy, featuring its own restrooms and a break-room with free munchies and refreshments. Sure, the free munchies cost them an extra $100 a day, but some of the whales they land bet $500 per hand. Frankly, if I were running a casino, that sort of player would be receiving a steady supply of champagne, peeled grapes, massages, dancing girls, and any and all sexual favors upon demand, as long as they remained s”
6/24/2005 “If you’re planning a trip to Vegas sometime in 2005, or if you live here, and don’t earn comps for every penny you spend in a casino, you still might find good value in the 2005 editions of the following coupon books. Each of the Web sites given contains a descriptive list of the coupons, so you can evaluate the total worth to you before you order.

Entertainment
This is a coupon book for Las Vegas and more than 150 other major metro areas, including Reno-Tahoe. The 2005 book is free when you order the 2006 book – or you can buy it alone for $10 plus shipping at http://www.entertainment.com. The coupons in the 2005 book don’t expire until November 1. (My thanks for this tip to the friendly posters at http://www.vegas4locals.com, another good place to look for coupons and useful information about Vegas. I especially like their huge collection of the best free things to do when you’re in town.)

The American Casino Guide 2005 Edition
This guidebook provides gobs of good gambling information as well as coupons. Go to http://www.americancasinoguide.com.

The Pocketbook of Values (POV)
This coupon package, which comes with a one-year membership to the Las Vegas Advisor, is worth more than $3,434 with optimal use. An online subscription is $37; if you want the hard-copy newsletter mailed to you, the subscription costs $50. Order at http://www.lasvegasadvisor.com.

All three of these books contain at least one coupon that could recoup your total initial cost; everything else can be gravy. (I never use every single coupon I get!) And the first two now provide you with a single card you need to present to show that you own the book, so you no longer need to lug the entire book along, and can just bring the coupons you want. You do need to bring the entire POV book with you, but it’s small enough to tuck in a purse or pocket.

And here are a couple of the books about Vegas I’ve been reading lately — when I take a few spare minutes from writing my own!

1,000 Naked Truths by Norm Clarke, Sin City’s ace insider and Las Vegas Review-Journal gossip columnist. 1,000 Naked Truths gives you more interesting–and unknown–Vegas facts per square inch than any other book about Vegas I’ve ever read. I thought I knew a lot about Vegas, until I read this book. Norm covers the clever, the culinary, the classy, and the kinky. It’s a great book to keep beside the “”throne”” in the “”reading room”” in your house. Order at http://www.stephenspress.com/booklist.html.

Neon Nuptials, The Complete Guide to Las Vegas Weddings by Ken Van Vechten. I love to pick up this book and read a page or two when I have just a few minutes and need a smile–or a big belly laugh–although I really don’t actually need the information for any upcoming weddings. Put it with the above book in your “”reading room””–and find out more unusual and fascinating facts about the most weird and wonderful city in the world.

And now, I’d like to continue on a subject I talk about periodically: balance in one’s life, even for a gambler who lives in Las Vegas. For us, this is home, not Sin City, which carries over to my reading material. I have to read about Vegas to write about Vegas, but I have an entirely different book list for my inner spiritual self. At the top of that list, and a book I always have by my bedside, is How to Know God by Deepak Chopra. Deepak is my favorite author. For one thing, he’s a model for me as a writer: I can only dream of packing so much meaning into one sentence. But I admire him most of all for his words that strike my heart so forcibly, about a God who is not bound by rigid denominational

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Frugal Fridays – May 2005

Posted on May 3, 2005 by queen of comps

5/6/2005

The following is a guest column by Brian G.

Summer in Las Vegas can be brutal — hard on your body, hard on your vehicle. And these days, having to drive all over the place to pick up bounce-back cash from casinos, it’s good to know how to avoid the worst of the heat. Here are my top-ten tips for keeping (relatively) cool June through September.

10) Leave early; come back late. Pretty obvious, but you can usually do one or the other. Keep in mind that summer days are usually at their hottest around 4 pm.

9) Drink lots of water! Purified is better than tap. Keep a big container of drinking water in your car for emergencies.

8) If you must exercise outside, do it early or late. Keep your hair cut shorter. Walk in the shade. Carry water with you. Use sunscreen. Wear sunglasses. Wear lightweight cotton light-colored clothing.

7) Properly maintain your vehicle. Make sure the battery, cooling system, and a/c are in good shape, you have your oil, oil filter, and air filter changed regularly, and your tires are in good shape and properly inflated. Have your belts and hoses checked or replaced before the summer heat begins. Having your car break down when it’s 110 out is no fun! Keep a can of flat fixer in your trunk, maybe a roll of duct tape, too!

6) Always keep your cell phone with you for emergencies. Make sure its battery is charged! Subscribe to some sort of 24-hour roadside service, and have its number programmed into your cell phone.

5) If the cooling system in your car is in good shape, and if your a/c starts blowing warm air when you are stopped in traffic, slipping it into neutral and raising the engine speed a bit will turn the compressor faster and cool down the air blowing into your car. Do not do this if your temperature gauge is close to “”hot,”” or if it heads that way rapidly when you raise the engine revs! Make sure your a/c is set on “”re-circulate.””

4) Park in the shade, or in a covered parking lot or garage! Getting into a 160-degree car is a terrible thing to have to do! Not only is it extremely uncomfortable, but your a/c will take forever to cool the car down. Better to park in the shade and have to walk a bit than to park in the sun right by the door. You will cool down quickly once you get indoors; your poor car is stuck outside.

3) If you must park your car in the sun, use sunshades, reflectors, or anything that blocks out the sun from shining onto the interior of the car. At the very least, put a white towel or cloth over your steering wheel and shifter knob so you don’t burn your hands on them!

2) If you must park in the sun on a regular basis, when you buy a new car (or get the one you have repainted) get a light color with a light interior. Everything else being equal, the interior of a white car can stay as much as 20 degrees cooler than that of a black car. Also, a dull finish absorbs more heat than a shiny finish, so keep your car clean and waxed.

1) Use good judgment. Walking a couple of miles might be easy for you in November; in July it could kill you. Always keep in mind the dangers of really hot days.

5/13/2005

This just in from a Rio insider: “Yes, we know paying only even money on blackjacks in our bikini-dealer pit is a terrible deal for the customer. We decided to try it as an experiment, and if there were many complaints or business dropped off, we were planning to quickly put it back up to 6/5. But business is still booming at even money – so why change?” Hey, what if everyone in casinos all over the world would stop playing 6/5 for just one week?

From an Internet bulletin board, discussing the super new-member slot club promotion the Westin Casuarina Casino ran awhile back, giving $600 in free play for a buy-in of $300: “Some pros recruited players from a pool hall to go in and sign up. The pros took the bonus and gave the players beer and cigarette money. Another player went in with what looked liked a 35-year family reunion. They had enough relatives to play ‘Family Feud.’ Hey, where was Richard Dawson?” Some people with “insider friends” were throwing around huge figures (like a half-million, several million) for the loss sustained by the casino during this two-day disaster for them.

My sister was in town at the time I heard about this promotion and I figured we’d take her there to join up. But I, of all people who know better, procrastinated and she got shut out. I need to re-read my own books!

Headline: “IGT launches 1-cent Megabucks.” I don’t get it – the max bet to get the top jackpot of this “penny” progressive, beginning at $10 million, is 300 pennies. The original Megabucks is a dollar machine with a max bet needed of $3. DUH!!! Do they think we’re too dumb to figure out that 300 pennies is $3? And speaking of dumb and dumber, my friend Deke Castleman, senior editor of Huntington Press who checked out the new machines, says, “”The max bet’s the same as regular Megabucks, but there’s a million ways to play short coin.””

Brad always did believe that casinos pumped something –- maybe more oxygen? — into the air in casinos that kept customers playing longer. I was dubious. But recently I read about a company that since 1991 has been installing environmental-aroma systems in the air-conditioning ductwork of casinos, more than 30 of them in Las Vegas and Reno. They call their fragrance blends Aromatic Symphonies –- kind of like the Bellagio Fountains without the water.

And now here are a couple of stories of which I’d like to know the rest.

I just read one of the strangest gambling items I have ever heard tell of, in Casino Player: “In Weston, West Virginia, population 4,300, Mayor Jon Tucci wants to convert a former insane asylum into a $300 million hotel-casino.” I’m still deciding whether to laugh or ponder deeply about whether this just might be appropriate!

And from Fantini’s Gaming Morning Report: “Vandals glued shut the doors to 25 betting shops in Australia prior to the running of the Melbourne Cup, the nation’s biggest horse race, Reuters reported. They used quick-drying glue. Seems appropriate, given the proverbial fate of old horses.”

5/20/2005

Brad is always looking for subject material for me to use in this column, especially about “real life” in Las Vegas. But this time he outdid himself. Actually, he wasn’t looking for this particular story; rather, it came to him, abruptly, as he was cruising in the Frugal Silver Bullet down the same quiet neighborhood street he travels almost daily to the post office, just a few blocks from our condo. He was driving slowly, as he often sees police cars lurking about in this area on the lookout for speeders.

Suddenly, in a where-are-the-police-when-you-need-them second, he heard a loud boom and felt intense pressure against his chest. It took a few seconds for him to realize that his airbag had inflated and the van was sliding across the intersection. After the vehicle stopped moving, it took him a few more seconds to figure out what happened. His first major clue was the badly damaged car sitting some yards down the street from him. All he could think was: “Where did that car come from? I’d looked both ways before entering the intersection!”

Then it dawned on him: He’d entered the twilight zone inhabited by Vegas drivers who think stop signs and red lights are just suggestions. The other driver had barreled down the cross street so fast, not seeing (or ignoring) his stop sign, that he was never in sight when Brad, who had no stop sign, approached and started through the intersection.

Fortunately, Brad was broadsided on the passenger side rather than the driver side of the van, and he suffered no injuries, except some chest bruises where the airbag and seatbelt left their marks. The two people in the other vehicle were lucky. In spite of two big curved recesses in the shatterproof windshield where their heads had bumped (no seat belts on), they had relatively minor injuries, although they were taken to the hospital by ambulance. Neither vehicle came out so well, though. Both totaled.

We can now tell you about Vegas police reports (lengthy), Vegas towing companies (complex details), Vegas car-repair companies (highly complex details), and Vegas insurance adjusters, who aren’t simple to deal with either.

I was already drowning in the above paperwork when insult was added to injury a few days later. The rental car our insurance company had arranged for us was stolen right out of our parking slot in the condo parking area! More lengthy police reports and notary visits and the complexities of a second insurance claim in five days!

We finally went out and bought another vehicle after continuing our Vegas real-life research project at car dealers and the DMV, plodding through more official red tape to make our little plum-colored PT Cruiser street legal.

Now, after almost a month since the accident, we’re finally crawling out from under the stacks of documents the whole affair generated. We’re more knowledgeable about business in Las Vegas than we ever cared to be. But all’s well that ends well. We got to keep our FRUGAL license plate. And we drive the Frugal Plum with a fairly secure feeling — we’ve got extra turbo power to get out of the way of reckless drivers, plus side airbags. But we trust Vegas drivers even less than we ever did, which wasn’t much, and I notice Brad slows down a bit at every intersection.

We’re looking forward to a vacation away from Vegas traffic this weekend, when we will be in Canada, at Casino Windsor, where I’m speaking at seminars during a Gambler’s Jamboree. Hope to see some of you fellow frugal gamblers there!

5/27/2005

We’re home from the Gambler’s Jamboree at Casino Windsor, having flown free round-trip Vegas-Detroit on Northwest tickets bought with travel vouchers for $600 earned from a bump on a flight in January. Northwest is becoming a favorite airline of ours: We were bumped twice on this trip to Detroit, for a total of $1,200 in travel vouchers. We were offered a choice of vouchers or two sets of round-trip tickets to any U.S. city to which Northwest has service. We were advised by the agent not to take the free tickets because of many restrictions in their use. We’d already decided to take the vouchers anyway, since we can usually find a fare for less than $300 for a round-trip ticket to any city where we might want to fly, and we’d also earn frequent-flyer miles with the tickets bought with the vouchers. You don’t earn FF miles on free tickets.

We were bumped both times at the start of our trip in Vegas. The first time there were no seats on any flights the rest of the day, so we were able to go back to the condo and sleep in our own bed and return to the airport the next morning, scheduled on the same flight as the day before. Fortunately, we’d planned to arrive a day early for the Jamboree anyway, so we were able to adapt to this delay.

The second morning when we arrived for our rescheduled flight, we volunteered again when the gate agent called for volunteers. This time we could get out in the afternoon, although this meant a late arrival in Detroit and an even later arrival at Casino Windsor. I had to speak at a seminar the next morning at 10:30 a.m. But for $600 we figured we could catch some zzzz’s on the plane and take a nap in the afternoon the next day to catch up on our sleep.

We had about a five-hour wait until our afternoon flight. We thought about popping down to Ellis Island, which is not far from the airport. It was a 5x-points day and we can always get a comped meal there. In addition, we were planning to play there at least one Friday this month anyway to keep up our level of play to get our usual bounce-back checks. However, we would’ve had to get our car out of the garage, then come back to the airport early enough to go through security again, with the lines being extremely long that day. It was going to be a very busy and tiring proposition.

But to be totally honest with you, my dear readers, there was an even more important reason why we decided against this plan: We just didn’t have the stomach to risk losing what might be even much more than the $1,200 we’d just scored with Northwest. Now, you may think this was silly of us. If you know us at all, you might tell us that you know that we often lose much more than $1,200 many days that we play video poker. I know that –- and it’s quite possible that we’ll lose that much or more playing at Ellis Island this week. However, that won’t bother us. You say this doesn’t make sense.

Yes, we are skilled. Yes, we are experienced. Yes, we have an adequate bankroll to play at the levels we do. But we are only human –- and our feelings don’t always follow our logical minds!

So I asked the gate agent for a food comp, which he was glad to give us, and we had a nice leisurely meal in the airport. Then I got out my laptop and worked on my current writing project. Brad read the newspaper and some magazines and snoozed a bit. It was a relaxing afternoon. And when we finally got on a plane, we had a nice relaxing flight in first class, an extra perk from a grateful airline and one of our favorite comps!

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Frugal Fridays – April 2005

Posted on April 3, 2005 by queen of comps

4/1/2005

Nope, we don’t quit at 2:30 p.m., even if we are now winners.

2:46 p.m. Brad is dealt 4-of-a-kind. “”It seems like I just can’t improve these hands.”” I remind him of something he already knows — that you only improve one time in 12 hands even if you get them on average — which you rarely do. Streakiness is the name of the game in everything about video poker.

2:50 p.m. The tiny timer in my purse buzzes. I remind Brad it’s time to take his cholesterol-lowering medication.

2:56 p.m. Someone in our row gets a royal. We’re happy for him, of course, but it’s hard not to be a little jealous.

3:00 p.m. Brad throws away a trash hand — and gets a dirty royal (one “”ruined”” by a deuce) on one hand on the redeal. He gripes, “”Why couldn’t this darn machine have given me one on the first deal?”” He’s getting a little cranky, since he’s now lost all of his deuce-jackpot credits and half of his stake.

3:30 p.m. We put on jackets; the Arctic wind has started. And we trade machines so I can get away from a smoker beside me. Smoke doesn’t bother Brad as much as it does me. We’re now down $700.

3:35 p.m. I hit 4 deuces on “”Brad’s”” machine and we’re now up $400.

3:45 p.m. Brad hits 4 deuces on “”my”” machine. We’re up $895.

4:30 p.m. I decide to take a break and go outside to get some fresh air. When I come back in a half-hour, I find we’re now down $500. So what’s new? It’s always a roller-coaster ride.

5:30 p.m. Brad takes a break, going to the race and sports book to look up some scores and watch a couple of horse races. He was a frequent visitor to Kentucky racetracks before he discovered casinos. He rarely puts any money on a horse anymore, but he likes to watch them run!

5:50 p.m. Brad returns and gets dealt four to a royal, always a hopeful time for us. But as mostly happens, the magic card does not show. One always expects too much “”luck”” when playing multi-line. We’re down $600.

6:05 p.m. Brad holds 3 cards to a royal. He’s hoping for at least a dirty royal. And wonder of wonders, a “”real”” royal appears on one line. Immediately, the machine so kindly pops up with a do-you-want-to-double-your win notice. Brad quickly looks for the I-don’t-think-so button! We’re $3,200 up — and life is good. Now’s the time to take a break and have dinner and celebrate. We ask for a comp to the buffet, which our host gives to us cheerfully.

7:00 p.m. Back from dinner, feeling refreshed, we go back to “”work.”” We start feeding our profits into the machine, which suddenly has a ravenous appetite.

8:30 p.m. We’re now up only $2,200. One always hates to lose profit, but we look at the long term and this is still a good play and we aren’t tired. So we plod on.

9:20 p.m. Brad holds 2 deuces and catches 2 more on one line.

9:35 p.m. Brad is on a roll: He holds one deuce and surprises himself with 3 more on one line.

9:50 p.m. He does it again — turns one deuce into 4.

10:00 p.m. We’re getting tired, although we’re feeling heady from Brad’s jackpot streak. We count the profit in our pocket and the credits on our machines and find we’re exactly $4,000 ahead. Plus, we’ll collect $1,200 in slot club cashback. It’s time for us to quit. The promotion lasts two more hours and we want to play longer, but the quit messages from our tired brains and weary bodies are too strong. When you’re risking $25 a hand, you want to be at your best physically and mentally so you can play accurately.

So we cash out and drive home, two tired but happy promotion puppies.

Next week I’ll talk about how we would do things differently if this same promotion were this week. You can test yourself to see how many differences you found.

4/8/2005

For the last two weeks, I’ve talked about a promotion we did several years ago. I stated that our playing routine was quite a bit different then than it is now.

Some concepts haven’t changed. We still make a special effort to play a promotion like this with a good EV, especially since there aren’t quite as many opportunities as there used to be. We still bunch activities when we’re out driving around town — doing personal chores, eating out, picking up bounce-back cash, and playing video poker. We rarely go out to do only one thing. And I still enjoy using coupons, although I’m more selective and coupon only when it’s easy.

It’s also still cold and drafty in the majority of casinos, so we take sweaters or jackets with us no matter the temperature outside. We continue to take short breaks to go outside and get some fresh air (or warm up). We often break up a session with a long break to eat a meal. And video poker is still a roller coaster, emotionally and financially!

Now for the differences. I’ve finally developed some sense and do not stay up at my computer until two in the morning. I’m usually in bed by 11:30 p.m., so I can get up earlier in the morning to process my still-heavy e-mail load. That never seems to decrease!

The biggest difference is that we no longer play such long sessions. Even with frequent short breaks outside in the fresh air and longer breaks to enjoy a meal, our usual limit is about three hours of play in one day. We just don’t have the energy we used to have, and no stamina for marathon playing sessions. Plus, especially since Brad’s heart attack, neither of us can take the smoke for long periods. So we probably would not have gone back to playing after dinner. Savoring the sweet taste from Brad’s royal, we would have enjoyed a relaxing and smoke-free evening in our own living room.

One characteristic of a wise gambler is that he/she needs to be flexible. We’ve had to make adjustments as we grow older, particularly because of health factors. And many of our friends are thinking about the health factor too, even though they’re younger. But there are other areas where adjustments will have to be made. Video poker players may have to learn new games, when their old favorites disappear. We never visit some casinos where we used to spend a lot of time playing, because of changes in game inventory or slot club benefits. Out-of-towners may have to change casinos to find one that will comp their rooms easier.

The name of the casino game is “change.”

4/15/2005

Last October, I wrote a couple of columns discussing the importance of a balanced life for a gambler. Most professional players, gaming writers, or anyone who spends a lot of time in casinos will tell you that they have (or want to have) many meaningful interests and relationships that are totally separate from the casino world.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot during the last few months, as Brad’s and my casino activity has taken a backseat in importance to “real-life” issues, regrettably a lot of them medical-related. My false-alarm “heart attack” I told you about a few months ago was finally diagnosed as an esophagus problem. An endoscopy found that a web-like growth was causing a major blockage. At that time a stretching procedure was done to try to rectify this. Time will tell if more will have to be done. The best news was that all tests came back negative for malignancy.

I’ve also been concerned with medical problems in my family. My younger sister, Starr, has developed some medical problems serious enough that she had to give up her law practice. She recently spent two weeks in Vegas with us and we were so happy to give her a chance for some much needed R+R. My 90-year-old father has been going downhill for a couple of years with Alzheimer’s, but my stepmother had been able to keep him at home. Recently, however, he developed several medical problems, was hospitalized, and is now in an acute-care nursing facility. We three sisters are helping our stepmother make some difficult end-of-life decisions.

I’m not complaining here. I’m just trying to give you readers, whom I also consider my friends, an accurate picture of our life in Vegas. Because I mainly write about gambling and Vegas, some people think we have this carefree glamorous life, spending every day in exciting casinos doing exciting things. We do have a wonderful life and sometimes it has a fairy-tale aura. But it’s still real life – with all that real life entails, the joy and the sorrow, whether you live in a big city of garish glitz or a small town of comfortable ordinariness.

One last personal note: How time flies! I can’t believe I started writing this column five years ago this month. I’ve often threatened to stop – and I did once! Lasted about two weeks, I think. I did take a four-week vacation another time. And periodically, friends have taken pity on me and provided guest columns.

How long will I continue? Who knows? I may be addicted and can’t stop until I no longer have a rational thought in my head and my fingers are no longer able to navigate around a keyboard.

4/22/2005

Typically, I run a guest column when Brad and I are out of town, entertaining out-of-town visitors, participating in a time-consuming promotion, feeling under the weather, or just too cranky to think of anything pithy. But this week, I can’t claim any of the usual excuses. I’m running this guest column simply because it’s so funny and true. Enjoy.

THE MOST COMMON CASINO MISTAKES

By John (Lodestone) Kelly

After reading what I usually write about casinos, you might get the idea that I think casinos are run by inbred imbeciles who only got their jobs because they happen to be a blood relative of some well-connected uncle. This is not true. Many of these relatives are in-laws who are not genetically related. But because I’m a compassionate person, I hereby offer some kind words of advice to lend a helping hand for the education and edification of these lost casino-management souls. I use small words when possible.

We’re Old, It’s Cold
Although the temperature maintained in most casinos is about right for winter-wear, summers in Las Vegas routinely reach 110 degrees or higher. That’s why we customers are inclined to show up wearing shorts and sandals. You, on the other hand, are dressed for work, wearing three-piece suits. You’re also running around a lot, yelling at your employees and sucking up to high rollers. This tends to keep you warm, so the temperature feels right to you. Furthermore, you’re young, and most of us are old. We prefer things a little warmer, especially when the only calorie-burning activity we’re performing is moving our fingers. It’s drafty in here, sonny. We’re not wearing your casino logo jackets in July to show our loyalty. There’s something seriously wrong when our reaction upon exiting the casino and entering the mid-day blast furnace of the great outdoors is “AHHHH!!!” Try saving a few hundred thousand dollars a month on your electric bill by edging up the thermostat a few degrees.

Ergonomics and Economics
I know your bean-counting cousin figured out that you could cram half-again as many upright machines into your casino as you can slant-tops, and your nephew cites some article on ergonomics that he saw in Tiger Beat that indicates sitting upright is the best way to play video games. But in reality, nobody likes uprights. The stress on our back, shoulders, wrists, and butt is considerable when playing for more than a couple of minutes. There’s something amiss when you spy prim and proper grandmas with their feet planted up on the counter and their legs splayed up and apart like they’re at the OB-GYN’s office, in a vain attempt to get comfortable. Also, while we realize that bolting the chairs to the machine keeps them neat and tidy in pretty rows, no person in his or her right mind designs seating like this. Your customers come in all shapes and sizes. Allow them to place the chair where they want it.

Lines: Our EV Is 100%; Our Enjoyment is Zero
While lines are somewhat inevitable in establishments that draw as many people as casinos and some casinos have made great strides in remedying this situation, long mind-numbing vacation-ruining family-fighting lines still abound. While long lines of bored patrons reassure your boss that you’re successfully packing your casino with customers, if you observe carefully, you’ll note that none of these customers are doing anything that profits the casino in any way. They’re not playing any machines. They’re not seeing any shows. They’re not buying anything in the stores. And when they finally get their starving carcasses into that *$!@&# buffet, they’re going to eat you out of kitchen and coffer. This ain’t Disneyland, where they’ve already got the customer’s money and could care less how they spend the rest of their day. You need these people busy and emptying their pockets, not bored and wondering why the hell they came. Do what ya gotta do: Create comp lines, hire more cashiers, raise prices, whatever. It’s sinful to keep cust”
4/29/2005 “How’s this for frugal? McDonald’s celebrated its 50th birthday a couple of weeks ago and we took advantage of a special they ran in the food court at a nearby mall: hamburger, fries, and milkshake combo at the price they charged in 1955 – a big 45 cents! Of course, we could have gotten it free at the Palms store, using points, but not bad for a non-comped meal!

A research project at Yale University finding that recreational gamblers 65 and older seem to be healthier than non-gamblers has received a lot of press. I have another take on this subject, thinking about all the wheelchairs, walkers, and oxygen tanks I see in casinos. We senior gamblers just don’t let medical problems keep us down.

Continuing on the subject of research, studies suggest food variety causes people to eat more. Hey, we Vegas locals have known that for a long time. Many people who move here gain weight the first year or so – until they learn that there will be another buffet, with just as much food, the next day!

I haven’t seen any of these in casinos yet, but I saw them advertised in a magazine for people in the casino industry. They’re bilingual (Spanish/English) video slot machines called Used Cars. Just my opinion, but doesn’t this seem politically incorrect?

Some tips for Southwest Airlines passengers:

* A new and very welcome change – multiple customers who are traveling on the same reservation can now check in online and request their boarding passes.
* Why should you get a boarding pass online in advance if you’re checking baggage and could get one at that time? You can check in online beginning at 12:01 a.m. local time on the day of departure and the earlier you check in, the more likely you will be assigned to the A boarding category and have a better choice of seats.
* Are you out of luck for checking in early online because you’re in a hotel room with no computer and printer? Try asking – sweetly, of course – at the hotel front desk if they can do this for you. Many have found this a successful technique, especially if you choose a slower time when there aren’t long lines.

Dear Abby tackles a knotty gambling problem: “If a gentleman asks a lady to accompany him to a casino and gives her money to gamble, is it proper for him to insist that she split her winnings with him?” Her sensible answer: “Considering the fact that your date advanced the money that brought you the windfall, I’d say you are 100% ahead of where you would be had he not been so generous. You may feel offended at his sense of entitlement, but a lady would have offered to share.”

One last reminder about the Gambler’s Jamboree at Casino Windsor, just across the border from Detroit, May 21 and 22. Go to http://www.FrugalGambler.biz and click on Calendar for all the details, including discounts if you mention when you register that the Frugal Gambler sent you. Brad and I are looking forward to being able to chat with fellow frugal fans.

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Frugal Fridays – March 2005

Posted on March 3, 2005 by queen of comps

3/4/2005

Last spring I wrote several ranting columns about too much gratuitous sex everywhere I look in Vegas — and now I feel myself getting wound up again. The Nevada Gaming Commission dismissed two of three counts of a complaint against the Hard Rock Hotel for a controversial advertising campaign. Then they gave them a slap-on-the-wrist fine — and blatantly sexy billboards spring up in more and more places. Read the frustrating details at http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/business/2004/oct/27/517730842.html.
However, I just don’t have the energy to rant and rage this week — so a good friend has stepped in to help me out.

But first, a World Series of Blackjack program note:
Tonight, Friday March 4 at 10 p.m. (Pacific Time) on GSN, the BJ contestants are Angie Moneytaker, Jimmy Pine, Ken Einiger, Rick Jensen, and yours truly. This show will repeat three hours later and on Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesday evenings. Check the time in your area that GSN (formerly the Game Show Network) will air the WSOB. Cox has the GSN on Channel 344 in Las Vegas.
(This show has been preempted and has been rescheduled for next week, at 10 p.m. on March 11 and then repeated on the evenings of 12, 13, and 15th)

Sex and The City
by Winnie

Las Vegas has gone through several makeovers in its short history. Although I don’t have all of the dates and haven’t made a historical study, several distinct periods stand out in my personal recollections. This is by no means a factual presentation, but more one person’s perspective.

First there was the “wide-open anything-goes” period during the very early days. There was open control by the mob, which oversaw not only the gambling, but also a variety of other activities, such as prostitution. This lawlessness was so flagrant and drew so much scrutiny that it eventually was replaced by the more respectable corporate America.

This more businesslike approach cleaned up the city and made it a respectable place to visit. These businesspeople knew that it wasn’t necessary to have a criminal element, as they made a huge profit without cheating. Good gambling was offered and the honesty of the games was promoted. There was still some nudity in the big production shows, but it was not risqué, only classy and elegant. The seamier side of Las Vegas was largely hidden from view.

During one of the slower periods, someone had the idea to promote Las Vegas as a family destination. An amusement park was built at MGM. and Treasure Island, Circus Circus, and Excalibur along with many other casinos marketed the family theme heavily. This new approach was popular with the families who wouldn’t have otherwise visited the city. The only problem was that this group of visitors seemed to spend more time entertaining their children than gambling in the casinos — and that was bad for business!

The next Las Vegas phase was all too short, in my opinion. This was a period when culture ruled in Las Vegas. Art galleries were found at Bellagio and Venetian, and major Broadway productions were offered at many of the larger hotels. Shopping was upgraded from the cheap tourist stores to stores with all of the major retailers represented along with designer names. “Class” was in and the Treasure Island pirate battle and Bellagio water show were the frosting on the cake. There were still plenty of activities for all the family, but a more affluent and sophisticated crowd was now attracted to Las Vegas.

Unfortunately, the casinos felt they had to offer something new to these new customers. The new phase in the city is epitomized by the ad slogan, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!” In other words, anything goes in Sin City. Suddenly, this title of Sin City is springing up everywhere. Almost every major Strip casino is opening an after-hours club and plastering their walls with provocative posters. “Be”

3/10/2005

Brad and I are trying to recover from our third bout with the flu this winter, so I’m grateful for John Kelly’s willingness to do a guest column for me once in a while to give me a rest. This time he is discussing a problem that plagues us all!

But first, another World Series of Blackjack (WSOB) program note due to a preemption last week that caused a one-week postponement of the original schedule:

Tonight, Friday March 11 at 10 p.m. (Pacific Time) on GSN, the BJ contestants are Angie Moneytaker, Jimmy Pine, Ken Einiger, Rick Jensen, and yours truly. This show will repeat three hours later and on Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesday evenings. Check the time in your area that GSN (formerly the Game Show Network) will air the WSOB. Cox has the GSN on Channel 344 in Las Vegas.

HORRIBLE, PATHETIC, EXCRUTIATING LOSING
By John (Lodestone) Kelly

A great deal is written about how to win at video poker, but what no one likes to talk about is the fact that most sessions are no winners at all. The nature of the game is such that even with the best of games, most sessions don’t land you a jackpot, and without that, the edge is in the casino’s hands. And sometimes it turns from grim to downright ugly. Play long enough and you’ll experience god-awful streaks from hell — it’s almost guaranteed.

We experienced skilled players know this and console ourselves with the fact that it’s all part of the game and that in the long run we’ll almost certainly prevail. But use of this stoic logic ignores the fact that we’re emotional creatures and that this is an emotional game. You cannot robotically continue to try to do something over and over (fill a flush, catch a quad, etc.) and fail, time after time, without getting frustrated. And following frustration is the realization that you’re having a lousy time and this is supposed to be your vacation, dammit! Other fun thoughts:

This “”free”” buffet just cost me $300.
I’ve worked and saved all year … for this?
Gee, this is fun. Why don’t I just add to the excitement and hit the buttons with my forehead?

Even more aggravating is knowing that, as a skilled player, you’ve invested considerable time and energy into getting every edge you can, while next to you Mr. or Ms. Clueless has just gotten four aces and a kicker. If it’s really that kind of day, said person will start to offer you unsolicited advice, i.e.: “”Always hold sixes. That machine gets four-of-a-kind in sixes a lot.”” This is why casinos don’t allow patrons to carry weapons.

We’re all grown-ups and theoretically have enough sense to pick up and leave whenever we want. Why don’t we? First of all, the game is hypnotic in itself. But, as skilled players, we’re actually more susceptible than most to play ourselves into a state of misery. Our knowledge actually works against us here, because it provides rationalizations for continued play. Here are some of the more common ones and the pitfalls that come with them:

“”This is the best play in town and I’d be an idiot to leave.“” My wife once commented, “”It seems like whenever we get killed, it’s always when we’re playing with some big edge.” I had to agree that she was right. After giving it a little thought, I realized why: We only play when we have a huge edge. Duh. Regardless, that extra percentage point isn’t worth losing your temper over. If you’re playing angry, leave!

“”Losing streaks are purely a characteristic of random probability, and are an illusion. My chances are as good now as they ever were.”” Absolutely true. On any given hand, your chances are as good as they were during your hottest winning streak. But just try to convince your emotions of that! Personally, when I’m “”hot,”” my inner child is convinced that every lousy two-pair is “”half a quad.”” I’m excited by everything. I’m having a blast. I’m feeling immortal. On the other hand, when I’m losing, not even being dealt four-to-a-royal

3/18/2005

Well, my episode in this year’s World Series of Blackjack finally premiered — and now you know I didn’t advance. But neither did a lot of players, most who were certainly more experienced than I am in tournament BJ — so I’m not embarrassed about my performance. I made $2,500 for 3rd place at my table and they mentioned The Frugal Gambler several times, which is always good book publicity. I made some new friends and we had a lot fun during the filming.

Saying that we had fun filming does not mean it wasn’t stressful. I’ve been on TV many times and have never been nervous, with the exceptions of “To Tell the Truth” and this tournament. Even though neither show was actually live, they’re both taped under circumstances similar to live programming. “To Tell the Truth” was edited very little. The BJ tournament edited out some hands, but we couldn’t play a hand over if we did something dumb the first time. So I and many other players did make some boneheaded plays from the pressure. Don’t ask me why I did something in hand number whatever. When I watched it the first (and second) time on TV, I kept muttering, “Why in the heck did I do that?” Fortunately, I came out smelling like a rose on some dumb plays. Unfortunately, my inexperience was revealed on some other plays that did hurt me. But at least I didn’t surrender a twenty as one player did.

As I said, I was very nervous, especially at the beginning, and was pretty stiff. However, during the breaks in the filming, I was encouraged to be more “enthusiastic.” They were teasing me that I was chosen because I was supposed to be a “character.” Luckily, I started getting some hands that didn’t require acting. I got caught up in the joy of victory and the agony of defeat and started being myself. One time when I was extra enthusiastic, Max Rubin commented that this was the reason why I don’t play live poker. So true!

I was grateful for being asked to be in this tournament. I felt it was a real honor. But most of all, I’m grateful the shot angles didn’t make me look 10 pounds heavier!

Las Vegas Library Appearances: I’ll first give a talk, followed by a Q+A session and book signing. I’ll stick around as long as there are people with questions for me.

April 10: 2-4 p.m., Sahara West Library and Fine Arts Museum, 9600 W. Sahara Avenue.

April 21: 4:30-6 p.m., Downtown LV Library, 833 Las Vegas Blvd. North.

3/25/2005

This is an article I wrote several years ago, then stuck in a file. It might be interesting for some of you who have followed my writings to try to spot the differences in our playing style between now and then. This is definitely not the way we usually do things now!

10 a.m. — The first thing I think about when I wake up this morning is: Here it is — deadline day for a column, but a too-good-to-miss promotion at a casino. What to do?

Well, how about combining the two, with a blow-by-blow diary of Brad’s and my day?

Hmmmm. Could be a little risky. It might turn out to be a boring routine video poker session. Or we might lose a bundle, which would scare people and discourage them from ever studying video poker. Or we might hit three royals, which would give people the wrong impression that it’s always easy to win.

Hey, everything’s a gamble. I’ll take the risk.

10:05. I jump out of bed and start getting dressed. I wish I could get up earlier like most other folks do, but then I’d have to figure out a way to turn off my computer and get to bed before 2 a.m. My old body has to have eight hours of zzzzzz’s or it doesn’t operate well.

Noon. Brad has been ready to go for hours; men have it so easy. I just now am able to get out the door. But then, besides getting dressed and doing my hair, I’ve read 40 e-mails and answered 10, fielded four phone calls, and gathered up dry-cleaning.

Since the casino with the good promotion is clear across town, we do some errands on the way: drop off the dry cleaning, pick up bounce-back cash at a different casino, and stop at Office Max and Rite-Aid to pick up some items I have coupons for. Sometimes I wish I could make myself stop couponing — Brad says it isn’t time-efficient — but I still think it’s fun to get something for nothing. So I guess I’ll keep this one pleasure and count it as entertainment!

1:40 p.m. We pull into the parking lot of our target casino and I use my cell phone to call a friend who’s already playing there. Are there any seats open at the good machines? He says two are open and he’ll save them for us. We’re lucky today that this promotion has not been widely publicized and there are more seats than players. Thank goodness for our circle of friends who share such information.

1:50 p.m. We arrive at our machines, our favorite choice, $1 Five Play NSUDs (Not-So-Ugly-Ducks). We played classic Deuces Wild, with its 100.7% EV, for many years at the quarter level and missed it when we went up to playing $1. But now we can frequently find this newer Deuces version with a promotion that will take its 99.7% EV up nicely over 100%. Today, we’re getting triple slot club points, adding a fat .75% and making this a great play since we can put a lot of money through the machine at $25 a hand. Plus we’re doing the play for the regular bounce-back coupons this casino sends us monthly. We put our jackets on the back of the chairs (it’s 105 degrees outside, but we may feel Arctic air blowing on our shoulders any minute), feed five $100 bills into each of our machines, and wiggle around in our chairs to get comfortable.

1:55 p.m. The battle begins as we start to play.

2:00 p.m. Brad has to go into his pocket. Darn, $500 gone in five minutes. It takes nerves of steel to take this, even for old hands like us.

2:05 p.m. Yeah, baby! I get 4 deuces for $1,000. At least we won’t have to lose $3,000-$4,000 before we hit a jackpot, which can and does happen frequently.

2:15 p.m. Brad is dealt 3 deuces. Our hopes rise. Our hopes fall. Not one hand was improved on any of the five lines. You know your luck is bad when it takes 3 deuces to make 4-of-a-kind!

2:16 p.m. Brad is dealt 2 deuces and makes 4 on one line. We’re on Cloud 9 — and up $800. And Brad gets a nice polo shirt, thanks to a coupon. Right after logo jackets, shirts are on Brad’s favorite free things.

2:30 p.m. Brad is dealt 5-of-a-kind made up of three deuces.

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Frugal Fridays – February 2005

Posted on February 3, 2005 by queen of comps

2/4/2005

Recently, I’ve run across two new products I’d like to recommend for blackjack players. The first is a three-card set of tri-fold laminated blackjack strategy charts developed by the esteemed blackjack guru Don Schlesinger. There’s a card for single-deck, double-deck, and multiple-deck, and each card gives four different strategies, depending on the rules in the game you’re playing.

They’re called “Ultimate Blackjack Strategy Cards.” Now, I’m usually suspicious of anything labeled “ultimate,” but these cards are not misnamed. They’re the most scientifically accurate BJ strategy cards on the market today. And I like the fact that they’re usable for any level of play, since there’s a basic strategy for recreational gamblers and the “ultimate” one that will take you as far as you can go on the advanced level. http://www.AdvantagePlayer.com is home of Don’s Domain, one of the most informative, comprehensive, and reliable blackjack sites on the Internet today.

The second BJ product I would like to recommend is the newly released book, You’ve Got Heat, by Barfarkel. This is not your typical BJ book written by a well-known BJ expert, full of mind-numbing statistics and endless charts. It’s the chatty warts-and-all account of one low-stakes card-counting BJ player who makes 26 trips to Vegas over a period of four years, with a goal of turning a $2,000 bankroll into $10,000.

I suppose I liked this book so much because it’s the true tale of a fellow “scuffler,” someone, like me, who doesn’t depend just on playing one game skillfully so you have an advantage over the casino. Although his main game is BJ and mine is VP, the constant scrambling to get an edge over the casino is the same. It’s never seeing a good coupon you don’t jump to use; it’s a constant search for good promotions to exploit to the max; it’s becoming a part of the Internet gambling family to learn of new juicy playing opportunities; it’s having a network of friends who share your passion – and the secret advantage plays they’ve dug up; it’s the constant search for freebies that the casinos hand out.

http://www.bjinsider.com is the Web site of long-time BJ expert player and writer Henry Tamburin, who published this book. At this site you will find a wealth of good information on BJ and can read the free articles in his popular, monthly electronic newsletter, Blackjack Insider, in which Barfarkel continues to write about his BJ playing adventures in Vegas.

You can buy both of these products here on this site; go to http://www.greatstuff4gamblers.com/.

2/10/2005

Brad and I recently took a road trip to Laughlin, where I had a TV appearance and a speaking engagement at the library. It had been a number of years since we’d been to Laughlin. Before we bought our condo in Vegas and moved here permanently, we drove back and forth from Indiana to spend the winter in Vegas and often made a stop in Laughlin. The first thing we noticed was the improvement in the road between Vegas and Laughlin. What used to be a two-lane death trap is now mostly a nice wide four-lane divided highway. In the one stretch that’s still two-lane, there’s a passing lane every few miles – and this stretch will be four lanes within a year, I’m told.

Another change that surprised us was how the town has grown. Actually, maybe it hasn’t. I’m not talking about Casino Row along the river – that hasn’t changed a lot – but the actual town a couple of miles up on the hill. Brad and I discussed this and we concluded that we’d never been in that section before, always staying in a casino down along the river. We thought of Laughlin, as many uninformed people do of Vegas when they only visit the Strip, as being just a place full of casinos, never exploring enough to realize there are churches, libraries, drug stores, grocery stores, and all the other businesses that grow up when there are houses, apartments, and condos full of people who actually live an ordinary life like in any hometown USA.

One thing we found that hadn’t changed: snowbirds in their RVs camping all over the place. And we met a lot of them, an enthusiastic bunch who came to get some good gambling advice when I spoke at the library. I could tell a lot of these snowbirds came to Laughlin for two reasons: the warm winter temperatures AND the chance to spend time in casinos.

We stayed at Harrah’s and found out what we’d read on the Internet VP bulletin boards – that good video poker is still alive and well up and down the river in this casino town. However, we did take a little time for exploring in areas we hadn’t visited before. From the town center, we drove out a few winding miles to the Indian casino, Avi. We were surprised at the size of this resort. There’s a 300-room hotel and a 260-space RV park, which was quite full. The large casino has a buffet, sit-down restaurants, and a food court. It sported new slot machines, video poker, and slot club promotions, and was bustling with action on the Friday night we were there, looking like any crowded Vegas casino.

It was a fun getaway weekend, although some might call it a busman’s holiday. But we got to meet a lot of enthusiastic frugal fans and we won a little money playing VP. What more can we ask for from a mini-vacation?

A couple of “programming” notes:

The World Series of Blackjack (WSOB) has started airing on GSN (formerly the Game Show Network) on Friday nights (with reruns all week) and has been both a fun and educational watch. The show on which I play airs on Friday night March 4, with the usual reruns several times during the week following.

Some have asked when Brad and I would be appearing on the A+E series, “Caesars 24/7.” I don’t know, and I have very mixed emotions about this show and whether I want our segment to air or hope it doesn’t. Goodness knows they need someone on the show to give some balance by providing sound math advice on how to gamble smarter. However, I may spoil the image that they seem determined to show. I’m kind of blond, but I’m not young. I don’t go out in public half-dressed, with body parts hanging out of my blouse. I’m not against sex, but I don’t think of it every waking moment. And I may have committed the carnal sin in the filming – perhaps I accidentally said something that showed I had a brain or two in my head.

Que sera sera!

2/18/2005

Bounceback Part 1

Bounceback casino cash is an incentive sent to you in the mail to get you to return to a casino. Whether you collect it in good ol’ U.S. bills or in free play credits that you have to run through a machine at least once, it’s the favorite casino promotion for most players. However, they differ on how they view and take advantage of this promotion. Here is one person’s take on the subject, a friend who does not want his name used.

“”Those of us who play lots of video poker at several casinos in Vegas have many choices to make. One of those choices is whether or not it’s worth the time, effort, vehicle expenses, and aggravation to drive all over town to collect bounceback benefits. Many casinos send bounce-back cash or free play to their customers in an effort to both reward loyalty and to get players back in the door to play more. Some of these casinos are the Palms, Stations, Fiestas, Coasts, Hard Rock, Tuscany, Ellis Island, Westin, Rampart, Cannery, Hacienda, NY-NY, and Sam’s Town, among many others. Amounts you can collect in one trip vary from as little as $3 to as much as $100 or more.

“”My personal rule of thumb is that I will drive ANYWHERE in the Las Vegas area for $50 or more. For $25 to $45, I will make a special trip if it takes less than 15 minutes each way. For $20 or $15, I must be either driving past the casino or just a block or two away on other business. I don’t bother with $10 or $5 unless I’m in the casino playing anyway. You must make your own choices on what your time is worth!

“”Many people try to play in such a way as to maximize their advantage. They figure out, or read, or guess at how much they must play at property X in order to receive the largest amount of bounceback compared to their play. This is a fine strategy for many, but it’s not for me. Driving around picking up $15 here and $20 there seriously eats into my actual playing time and my leisure time as well. Call me lazy, but I don’t enjoy fighting traffic in order to pick up bounceback at six or seven distant casinos, possibly taking half a day — and especially not in summer’s triple-digit heat. Maximizing your edge (including bounceback) at lots of casinos carries with it a price that’s too high for me personally. My preference is to pick a few casinos with decent games, where I truly enjoy playing. I have one core casino where I play most of the time, enjoy the comps, and get the maximum bounceback. I also play occasionally at three or four other casinos in the same general area, just enough to receive sufficient bounceback to make the short drive worthwhile. This is the strategy that currently works best for me.

“”Many years ago, bounceback was rare or nonexistent. I would generally play at the casino with the best combination of games and cashback, with ambience and comps as smaller factors. A couple of years ago, when bounceback became more common (and cashback began dwindling), I tried to play at lots of places to maximize my mailings. Financially, this worked okay, but it was not something I was happy doing. In the past year or so, I realized that gambling should be fun as well as (hopefully) profitable. Reducing the number of casinos I played at, and therefore reducing my “”driving-around”” time, has made playing video poker much more relaxing and enjoyable for me. It might work for you too, especially when you consider that you’re actually LOSING both time and money while you’re in your car, running into and out of casinos, and not playing!”

Next week we’ll continue with this subject.

2/25/2005

This week we’re continuing on the subject of bounce-back, which we initiated last week with a guest column from a single guy in Vegas and how he decides how much emphasis he wants to put on bounce-back benefits.

We local Las Vegas gamblers call bounce-back cash our “welfare checks” and the opportunities for this money seem almost endless, as long as you can find time to play in an endless number of casinos to earn it. You might think that no one would ever complain about going to a casino to PICK UP money, but in Vegas this can become a scheduling nightmare. Each coupon is time specific. For example, this month Brad and I have 38 pick-up times in seven casinos scattered all over town. Good thing I’m extremely organized or collecting money could get to be WORK!

There are many possible takes on this subject. Because Brad and I both qualify for separate bounce-back amounts on our separate accounts at each casino, one car trip is worth double to us as a couple, an advantage single people don’t have. To save an extra trip to a casino, we try to plan our play in a casino on a day we are also doing a pick up – although occasionally this doesn’t work, because promotions we want to take advantage of do not overlap pick-up days. We do “clump” our casino pick-ups, conducting anywhere from two to four in one area on the same day, so we have one or two free days a week when we don’t have to visit a casino and we can do just-life things. But again, this takes great organizational effort.

We try to avoid heavy-traffic times, but this isn’t always possible – Vegas traffic is a source of aggravation most of the time. We always have a wide choice of restaurants whenever we’re hungry and want to eat during one our bounce-back pick-up runs, since we have comps at all of the casinos where we play. And we sometimes plan an entertainment activity, like a movie, at the same casino where we are doing a pick-up.

Most importantly, since there’s a ceiling for bounce-back at any one casino, we find we play with a better edge (and better profit potential) when we emphasize bounce-back at many different casinos rather than playing beyond the ceiling requirements at any one casino. There are few casinos where one can play every day with a good edge, especially beyond the quarter level. You need to move around to different casinos and take advantage of the best promotions, including bounce-back.

As in all things, personal goals are the key. As long as Brad and I are having fun picking up bounce-back all over town, we will continue to do it. However, I notice that we’re already slowing down a bit in this area. Is it a sign of old age? Or perhaps I’m finally getting some sense? Five or ten dollars doesn’t tempt us out of the house. We can even skip picking up $15 or $20 and I have only a twinge of regret as I tear up the coupon.

If you want to know more about maximizing bounce-back benefits so you can run around collecting money from casinos, I suggest you read the 10-page section in More Frugal Gambling in which I discuss this topic in depth. If it sounds too much like work, that’s okay. I’ll still like you anyway.

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Frugal Fridays – January 2005

Posted on January 3, 2005 by queen of comps

1/6/2005

We “escaped” from Las Vegas at just the right time, missing most of the rain and catching Georgia in an unusually warm and sunny winter period. We enjoyed our time away from video poker, with no demanding casino bounce-back coupons regulating our schedule each day. We felt a bit of pain as we had to hand over a credit card instead of a comp every time we took the Frugal Princess family out for dinner, but got over it quickly by shopping where we had gift cards we’d earned with our casino play in the past and stockpiled for the occasion. Lowe’s cards were used for materials for a retaining wall and privacy fence in the back yard of their new house. Best Buy cards bought a new computer for the kiddies since theirs had just crashed. Angela and I shopped until we dropped at the after-Christmas sales and got rid of hundreds of dollars on cards from Penny’s, Sears, and Dillard’s. The kid found many ways to get rid of a lot of Target and Wal-Mart cards. It was a shopping binge like Columbus, GA, had never seen!!!! All of Angela’s and Steve’s friends want us to adopt them.

Now we’re back in Vegas, glad to be home, especially since we’re both battling respiratory infections. Brad is waging his war on the couch. I count sitting in front of my computer resting, but he says that’s cheating. He was a Federal Service employee for 30 years and says he’s an expert on resting!

We’re in a long dry period where we almost get bumped from our scheduled flights and then at the last minute they find they do have seats for us – often it seems the very last two available! But we keep trying.

Speaking of being bumped, I just read an article in the LV Review-Journal about people getting bumped from hotels here, even though they have confirmed reservations. I guess this happens more frequently than I thought it did. As in airplane bumping, it pays to have a flexible schedule and an adventurous spirit – and nicely but firmly ask for more compensation than might originally be offered.
http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2005/Jan-02-Sun-2005/business/25454255.html

Next week Brad and I fly to Wisconsin (brrrr!!!!) where we’ll be staying at the Ho Chunk Casino in Baraboo from the 10th through the 13th. I’ll be speaking at a couple of seminars for Ho Chunk executives and employees. But if you see Brad or me in the casino, stop and say hi!

Here is some preliminary information about a Players Jamboree sponsored by Frank Scoblete that will be held at Casino Windsor in Ontario, Canada, May 21 and 22. This will be similar to the spectacularly successful one we had last year in Tunica, with more than a dozen well-known gambling speakers, including yours truly. Not only is there a wide choice of seminars all day long on both days, but during the breaks and at lunch time there’s plenty of hands-on instruction and the chance for one-on-one contact with gambling experts on all the casino games, including BJ, craps, VP, slot machines, poker, roulette, and the newer games.

I’ll have the complete details in a week or two and will let you know here when I will post them on my Web site. Frank has given me the opportunity to offer a 10% discount on the price IF you mention that you learned of the offer through my recommendation – and there’s also a price break for 2 people who register together.

Brad and I are really looking forward to this Jamboree and hope to meet many long-time and new frugal friends as we did in Tunica. It will be a 2-day smart-gambling blast!

1/13/2005

The big news out of Las Vegas is that it SNOWED here on Friday last week. In my part of town it was only a few white flakes that mostly didn’t stick, but pictures of snow-covered neighborhoods were all over the TV, and not just on the local news. We even made CNN Headline News! The Strip with its light white dusting was a popular shot for professional and amateur photographers. Depending on the area in the valley, many residents saw 1-4 inches of the white stuff.

Although Mt. Charleston and other mountain areas just a short drive out of town get plenty of snow every winter (11 inches during this stormy period brought the season total to 14 feet), many Vegas residents, especially children, had never seen snow. Only the elementary school on Mt. Charleston actually closed early that day, but other schools allowed kids to leave early if their parents came to pick them up. And many parents did just that, mainly so their children could play in the snow. One parent told a reporter that several of the parents came to get their kids and said they had “appointments.” The school authorities just laughed as they gave their permission, saying they knew those appointments were with a sled!

As usual in Vegas, no matter what the weather, a lot of motorists continued to drive at their customary hell-bent speed, so there were fender-benders all over town, but fortunately no serious accidents.

I mentioned last week that we would be at the Ho Chunk Casino in Baraboo, Wisconsin, from the 10th to the 14th for a couple of seminars for casino executives. I’m writing this column early, on the 8th, so I’m sure the snow we had here in Vegas will be just a sissy event compared to what we’ll experience in the Wisconsin woods, but it was a very important event in town nevertheless.

For a while the snow was the most popular subject on all the Vegas and gambling Internet bulletin boards I’m on. Of course, some of those stuck back in the Snow Belt, with snowfall measured in feet, not inches, wrote some and-you-think-you-have-it-bad reports. And since a lot of Vegas residents are transplants from the snow states, there were some I-moved-here-to-avoid-this posts.

But mostly it was a fun thread. Someone commented that they knew this snow was a surprise for those Midwestern visitors who never pack anything but shorts when they come to “sunny Las Vegas.” But the funniest post reported Jay Leno’s take on the subject:

Leno complained about all the rain in LA and then said, “And it’s SNOWING in Las Vegas. “Well, that proves it – hell HAS frozen over.

1/21/2005

$500 A Hand

Two weeks ago I talked about the balmy weather in Georgia when we visited the Frugal Princess and her family and last week I wrote about the unusual snow we received in Vegas. I didn’t plan that weather would be a continuing topic in Frugal Fridays, but our trip to Wisconsin last week demands my third column on the subject — and I hope the last one for a while. I guess we’ve been gone from Midwest winters too long and memories have faded, but constant wind chills below zero are not our idea of fun and we did a lot of complaining and stayed indoors as much as possible.

The final weather extreme came when we stayed all night in Minneapolis on our way home. The wind chill had been predicted for minus 40 degrees, but it warmed up and only hit minus 20. This one was bearable, because we were staying all night in a hotel near the airport, compliments of Northwest Airlines. After complaining just two weeks ago in this column about our bad luck in this endeavor, we finally scored an airline bump! A comped dinner, an overnight hotel room, a comped breakfast — AND $600 in travel vouchers! The thoughts of a free flight warms us up fast!

We enjoyed our stay at the Ho Chunk Casino in Wisconsin. We had lots of free time when I wasn’t involved in the seminars, so we relaxed a bit away from the hustle and bustle of Vegas, reading, watching TV, working out in their exercise room.

And, of course, we spent a little time at video poker machines, where, I’m afraid to admit, we EACH made one of the most catch-my-breath mistakes in our 20 years of casino gambling. The machines we were playing were the tricky kind on which you can bet from 1 to 100 coins. We were playing $5 x 5 coins, $25 a hand, being careful not to hit the Max Bet coin button. However, old habits are strong. We usually just automatically hit the Max Bet button when we start a new game or put bills in the machine to be sure we don’t accidentally play short-coin.

Well, you can imagine what happened. Brad and I both unconsciously hit the Max Bet button, which meant we were betting FIVE HUNDRED dollars on one hand, and there’s no way to take it back. Brad did it first — and he didn’t draw it to my attention until he made 3 of a kind, which on the deuce game we were playing is a push. Whew! Never had breaking even on a hand felt so good. After that scare we were both very careful on each of our machines for the next couple of hours — until I got distracted and oops, I made the same scary move! Fortunately, I could breathe easily right away, because I was dealt two deuces; I knew at least I would get my $500 back. But then the thought hit me: If I pulled two more deuces, I would win $100,000. I held my breath and the two deuces, then drew. When I saw what came up, I strated breathing again, and smiling. No, I didn’t hit four deuces, but I did make four jacks. We decided to quit after they paid me my $2,000. We were nicely ahead at that point and figured our nerves couldn’t take any more of those machines!”
1/27/2005 “Here are the details I promised you several weeks ago about the Frank Scoblete Gambler’s Jamboree on May 21 and 22, at Casino Windsor in Ontario, Canada, just minutes across the border from Detroit. The last one — in Tunica — was a blast and this one will be even bigger, two days of non-stop activities that will make you a smarter gambler! Many people who attended the one in Tunica have told me that they learned so much there that they quickly recouped their registration fee by losing less and/or winning more in their subsequent casino play. Plus it was a lot of fun too!

There will be 42 powerful seminars on all aspects of casino gambling to choose from. There will be over 25 gambling experts available that you can personally meet and question, with many giving hands-on game instruction. And to add to the fun there will be contests, prizes, and giveaways.

Here is the list of speakers:

* JEAN SCOTT, The Queen of the Comps, author of The Frugal Gambler
* FRANK SCOBLETE, casino gaming’s #1 best-selling author
* DR. HENRY TAMBURIN, BJ expert, best-selling author
* DOMINATOR, dice control expert and author
* JOHN GROCHOWSKI, gaming columnist and best-selling author
* BILL BURTON, poker expert & author of Get the Edge at Low-Limit Texas Hold’em
* JOHN ROBISON, video poker/slot author and columnist
* DR. DON CATLIN, mathematician and author of The Lottery Book
* DAN PRONOVOST, blackjack expert and software developer
* ALENE PAONE (“”the beautiful A.P.””), gaming columnist
* GWEN MILLER, famous gaming astrologer
* WALTER THOMASON, best-selling author
* JOHN MARCHEL, roulette expert and author
* STICKMAN, video poker, blackjack, and crap expert
* BILLY THE KID, crap expert
* JOHN KRUEZ, lawyer, financial planner, and gaming expert
* Arman “”Pit Boss”” Pirim
* The Golden Touch Dice Control Crew
* The Golden Touch Blackjack Crew
* The Golden Touch Texas Hold’em Crew

As you can see, whatever game you play, there will be an expert to talk about it!

Now for the frugal details! There’s a room discount at the beautiful Windsor Hotel and Casino for attendees. You will get the details on that when you register. There’s a discount if two people register together. And again, as there was last year, there is a 10% discount if you mention that you heard about this Jamboree from the Frugal Gambler.

There are several different ways to register. If you wish to register online, go to my Web site at www.frugalgambler.biz, click on “”Calendar”” and you will see some more details about this exciting event and there is a link you can use to register and automatically get the discount. That link is http://www.gamblersjamboree.com/signupDiscount.php3?GJamRefID=scott.

If you wish to register by phone or by snail mail, just be sure to mention that you want the Frugal Gambler 10% discount.

Brad and I hope to see a bunch of you all there!!!!

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Frugal Fridays – December 2004

Posted on December 2, 2004 by queen of comps

12/2/2004

Brad and I counted comps in our gambling win/loss figures when we first started playing in casinos more than 20 years ago, and many casual recreational gamblers may want to do it too. And if you’ve planned to take money out of your pocket in the same amount for the rooms, food, shows, and other non-cash perks you get comped, it’s quite correct to count them in your total return. I know many gamblers who stay in the big Strip resorts where the best games, even with cashback, still don’t quite come to 100%. But with all the non-cash perks and comps, they’re playing well over 100%.

However, you must be careful in your calculations here. We didn’t count comps in our total return for very long, because we were soon getting so many comps that we were increasing the number of our casino vacations and the luxury of our casino lifestyle to a level that we could never have afforded on our own budget. So we started counting comps as “gravy” and chose playing opportunities that were over 100% in CASH return.

If you want to count comps, you must figure the average amount, like I showed you last week, that you’ll lose over the long term by playing at a percentage below 100% in actual cash return. If you can’t afford that loss, you can’t “afford” all those luxury freebies – it’s that simple.

We’re careful to value our comps conservatively. Back when we were staying in casino-hotels, we could get a decent room for less than $50 most of the time. So when we got a comp for a more luxurious room that usually went for $100, we still only counted it as $50 in money value. (The higher psychological value was just a nice extra.) We’ve always eaten simply and have never been impressed by high-priced restaurants, so we always valued our gourmet meals at what we would ordinarily spend when we ate out. If gourmet is a real pleasure for you, then of course, you may want to value it at the actual price, especially if you’re going to spend your money on this anyway if you don’t get it comped. Figuring the value of comps is a very personal matter and depends on what you consider important.

The popular freebies that many casinos are now giving are merchandise certificates or shopping sprees. This is a nice comp that we enjoy, but again, we’re conservative in how we value it. If I earn a certificate I can spend at Target or Home Depot or a local outlet mall, I can count it at full value. I’ll be using it for things I’d buy anyway and I can even increase its value by shopping during sales. On the other hand, if it has to be used at an expensive store where I never shop, i.e., Saks Fifth Avenue or at a specific Caesars Forum shop on one specific day, I often won’t even play for this offer, because it isn’t valuable to us.

If I get something like this anyway, like a $1,000 shopping spree based on extra points we’ve been earning all year in our regular play, I, of course, don’t turn down this freebie. But I often value it at a fraction of the stated value. Recently, we had a $1,200 offer for Hugo Boss. Brad now has a very expensive sport coat and three nice shirts, but I valued it at only $600, since I’m sure I could have found the same items – and just as nice – for that amount. Having a famous name sewed into clothing is worth very little to us!

And of course, I’ll need to wind up this discussion about “free stuff” with a warning. Learn the system so that you get all the comps you’ve earned, but be careful of playing more than you had planned just to get a comp. This is a dangerous path. The siren call of comps can lead you to the jagged rocks that will destroy your gambling bankroll and/or your enjoyment of the casino atmosphere!

12/9/2004

This week I have a guest columnist. Though he prefers to remain anonymous, he’s a good friend of mine who has, in my opinion, something very important to say to all casino visitors, whether they’re high rollers or low, whether they gamble once in a while or all the time.

Playing Nice

We’re all different. Makes life interesting, right? How boring it would be if we were all the same. This Frugal Fridays guest column is about how different people react differently toward casinos and their personnel.

In the seven years I’ve been gambling in Las Vegas almost every day, I have always thought of the casinos, meaning the employees I interact with, as my friends. I try to be nice to everyone, even on days when I’m losing horribly at video poker. Sometimes I do get a bit cranky, but if I let it show, I try to explain to the person that it’s because I’m having a bad day on the machine, not because of anything they’ve done. Casino employees understand this quite well! They spend eight hours each day mostly dealing with gamblers who are losing their hard-earned money. For the most part, this doesn’t put people in the best of moods. But it’s good to remember that the casino folks on the floor are rooting for you to WIN–they’re much more likely to receive bigger tips from gamblers who are winning and tips are a large portion of their income.

There are many types of casino gamblers. Very few are knowledgeable about gambling and even fewer will end up winners over their lifetime of play. Many (most?) believe that gambling is all luck and are forever asking themselves why they’re so darn unlucky. Makes them MAD — at least some of them. And they sometimes take it out on the casino personnel — slot floor people, slot club attendants, cocktail waitresses — anyone they interact with can be subject to their wrath. Even smart gamblers can react badly to losing and may see the casino as the enemy.

This adversarial attitude is actually a self-fulfilling prophecy. Casino personnel can tell when you don’t like them, and the natural reaction is to treat you in a similar fashion. This cannot be a good thing in a casino, or anywhere else for that matter. On the other hand, making an effort to be friendly fosters the same reactions in return. This is a good thing in a casino, or anywhere else.

I’m acquainted with hundreds of people who gamble in casinos on a regular basis. Those who feel the casino is their enemy, in general, are not content with the gambling experience, win or lose. They’re suspicious, cynical, nervous, and angry much of the time. They tend to blame casino personnel and management for any losses they might incur. They’re distrusting of the honesty of machines and dealers, despite the massive numbers of rules, regulations, and laws that govern the casino business. Given the always-present human element, it IS likely that there are a few transgressions on the part of a very small minority of casinos, usually by a very few unscrupulous individuals without the knowledge of upper management. However, on the whole, gambling in a major Las Vegas casino
will NOT get you cheated. If you lose, as most gamblers usually do, it’s because the casino has a mathematical advantage on almost every wager you make. Even if you’re one of the few “”advantage players”” who only play games at which you have a small edge, you lose more sessions than you win.

You must accept this, deal with it, have the bankroll to withstand losing streaks, and not blame the casino or its personnel. It’s not their fault, so suck it up and be nice. Take my word for it, you’ll be happier, more relaxed, more content, and better treated at all of your favorite casinos — well worth the effort!

12/17/2004

End of the Year Miscellany

It’s getting to the end of the year and I want to clean out my overloaded files, so here is a mishmash of short subjects I’ve wanted to talk about.

Five Play Multi-Strike Poker — You thought regular Multi-Strike was fun –and frustrating. Now you can have 5 times the fun — and 5 times the frustration! Multi-Strike has become our favorite game, but it’s not for the weak-hearted or the underfunded. Full coin at the quarter level has you betting $25 a hand! The problem is that few places have even decent pay schedules, especially in low denomination (like 1 and 2 cents, which will fit more players’ bankrolls). I think this is a mistake on the casinos’ part, since it requires a very different and complex strategy that few people will bother to learn, so even with the best of schedules, their hold would still be high. With bad paytables, players will go broke so quickly they’ll eschew this game, even though they love to play it. Go to www.5pms.com to practice without having to risk any money.

Holiday Shopping Sprees — Many casinos, especially on the Vegas Strip, have a players club program that lets you accumulate points all year long in a separate bank from your regular slot club points. You can use these special points to buy all kinds of merchandise during specific days near the holiday season. The Venetian calls them Grazie points, which you can start earning on January 1 and redeem during one week next November. The MGM Mirage properties have jumped the gun and already announced the details of their Holiday Gift Shoppe program for next year. You could have already started earning points Dec. 1 and the redemption time is November 27 through December 4, 2005. This is where planning ahead is essential, since you can only redeem these points in person. I’ve known players who have given up thousands of dollars they could have redeemed in valuable merchandise, because they couldn’t get back to the casinos during the specified time. My grandchildren think Santa lives in a casino — and these holiday shopping programs are a big reason for their belief!

Room Comps — Room comps at the Palms will not be easier to get until their new tower is finished. They can easily fill up the rooms they have now with paying customers and comped rooms for “”whales”” — or at least extremely high-level players.

It pays to look at comps from a casino’s point of view — a profit-making business. Business is so good in Vegas that I’m not surprised room comps are getting harder to obtain. Medium-level players (let’s say $1 play) and especially lower-limit quarter players (unless you have 2 people playing quarters 8 hours a day) will have to go down a tier or two on the luxury scale to get room comps easier. Remember what I’ve always said: You’re recognized and rewarded more if you are a big frog in a little pond!

Casino Mail Offers — Here’s a reverse tactic that sometimes works to get better offers from a casino whose mailings to you have slowly decreased in number and quality, although you play there often. Stop playing at that casino for a while and you might be surprised at the strong offers you start getting again. Some casinos figure if you come to their casino often, you might come anyway, even without offers. Putting the casino in “”time out”” might wake up their marketing computers!!!!!

12/25/2004

As you read this, we’ll be winging our way to Columbus, Georgia, to spend the holidays with the Frugal Princess and her family. Some of you have asked for a report on what they’re doing these days. They’re happily settled in their first home-of-their-own after living in military housing for ten years. Steve is an instructor at the Army Ranger School at Fort Benning and hopes to finish out the 5-7 years until he retires at this post. He feels “”old”” at 35 as he trains young soldiers to be Rangers — and he was worried that he wouldn’t be able to keep up the rigorous pace as he could when he was a younger devil-may-care Ranger. But after some weeks of aches and pain as he built himself back up, he passed the physical and is now leaping over hurdles, slugging through swamps, and jumping out of airplanes with the youngest of them.

I still feel guilty, especially when I watch the news and they report on the casualties in Iraq, that I’m so happy Steve’s present assignment means he’s non-deployable overseas, probably at least for three years. However, he already served one assignment under fire in Iraq, and for ten years has been away from his family for many months on end in many other trouble spots around the world. So I guess I shouldn’t feel guilty, but proud that he has an important mission to train younger soldiers to take his place.

Angela continues to do volunteer work while going to business school to learn some new skills and brush up on some old ones. She likes to volunteer in Army family-support programs and in the kids’ schools, as she has done for 10 years, but she says it’s time for her to get a paycheck! Time will tell if she can actually find time for a “”real”” job, since she’s the ultimate car-pooling soccer mom, carting a van-load of kids here and there every day between two different schools and to various extra-curricular activities.

Kaitlynn, 10, is in 5th grade, and is an industrious A student and soccer player. Zachary, 11, in 6th grade, goes to a magnet middle school for kids who show talent in the sciences. He’s a natural ham and has taken to the stage and acts in plays put on by the Columbus community little theater.

As long as I am making this a rather personal column, I would like to assure everyone that Brad and I are both in good health — so many have kindly asked about this. Brad’s medication seems to be keeping his atrial fibrillation in check and any other heart problems from developing. Apparently, the two stents in his formerly blocked artery are successfully continuing to keep it open. The medication does slow him down a bit, but he’s a professional nap-taker, so frequent rest periods allow him to keep a fairly busy schedule the rest of the time.

Doctors don’t know why I had the false-alarm “”heart attack,”” but when someone has fibromyalgia, as I’ve had for my whole adult life, you get a lot of different aches and pains that are extremely hard to diagnose and practically impossible to treat. So I have mostly learned to just ignore them and they eventually go away! I’m feeling great at the present time, the proof of which is that I’m madly working to finish writing another book, which I vowed I wouldn’t ever do!

I would like to end up this column by sending holiday greetings to all our friends and readers. May this season of joy find you all enjoying good health and happy times with family and friends.

And is there no chance for peace in this world????

12/30/2004

Gambling Records

Actually, most of you probably won’t be reading this on December 31st — you’ll be busy planning and attending, then recovering from, New Year’s Eve celebrations. But when the brain fog and/or body exhaustion passes, you might be reading it at a time when you’re thinking about New Year’s resolutions. Are you determined to get more exercise? Do you plan to go back on that diet and stick with it for more than five days? Are you going to try to quit yelling at your kids so much? Are you going to call your mother more often?

What about gambling resolutions? Are you resolving to cut down playing the games you know have a big house edge and choose those with better odds? Are you going to stick with the gambling budget you and your spouse agreed on and not hit the ATM machine when your session or trip bankroll is gone? Will you spend less time in the casino and more time on volunteer work?

Everyone has his or her own personal goals and resolutions and no one should judge the motives or actions of another. But I’d like to suggest a single one-size-fits-all resolution. Every person who gambles, whether a little or a lot, should keep a gambling diary. And now is the time to start.

The IRS is becoming more and more interested in gambling income as new casinos pop up all over the country, more people are gambling than ever before, and the numbers just continue to grow. Sin taxes are always a popular source of government income, both on the state and the federal levels, and the Criminal Investigative Division (CID) of the IRS is beginning to investigate gamblers more thoroughly, looking for people who willfully, with intent, try to defraud the IRS by underreporting income or overstating losses and deductions. And they like to jump at the chance to leverage the publicity that they get by making an example out of a gambler who’s not properly reporting his gambling income.

As Marissa and I discuss in Tax Help for the Frugal Gambler, the casual recreational gambler almost always ends up the year with a net gambling loss. However, the IRS has chosen to forbid gamblers from reporting NET losses, but requires they list their winning and losing sessions SEPARATELY, the winning ones as gross income. The losing ones can be deducted as gross losses (up to the amount of the win, not more), but only if you itemize on Schedule A. Some kind of a log or diary will help you keep track of this information so it fits the IRS requirements.

The probability of a small gambler being audited about their winnings and losses is small, but there is one thing every gambler can do to be prepared in case this happens: keep a diary. Marissa and I discuss this subject at length in the Tax Help book, explaining why win/loss statements from casinos are good supplementary documents, but definitely don’t substitute for a diary or log. We discuss what a session is and show samples of diaries and talk about the information they might contain.

Some of you who have been heavy gamblers have had to deal with this issue for years and know that you must keep detailed records. But many of you are starting to gamble more, get W-2Gs, and expect your accountant to take care of this bother at the end of the year. The problem is that many accountants haven’t had experience with gambling income and don’t know the accurate way to report it. And the end of the year is too late to go back and remember all the details. Start a log or diary NOW for 2005. You don’t have to send it to the IRS with your return, but it’s something helpful for your accountant when he/she does your return — and it’s absolutely necessary in case of a future audit.

If you (or your accountant) are not knowledgeable about the reporting of gambling proceeds, you can order Tax Help for the Frugal Gambler at www.greatstuff4gamblers.com or www.frugalgambler.biz.

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Frugal Fridays – November 2004

Posted on November 2, 2004 by queen of comps

11/9/2004

1. If you’ve been following my writings for a while, you know I’m highly
skeptical of gambling “”systems.”” In fact, I wrote the following in More
Frugal Gambling:

“”The word system connected with gambling has a negative connotation and is often paired with the words loser and scam. However, we cannot dismiss all systems. Blackjack card-counting and video poker correct-strategy play could be called systems and they do work. Even a system that tells you the best bets in craps and which ones you should avoid would help you lose less. So, in spite of the scams you can see everywhere, there are some systems that a knowledgeable gambler can find valuable.””

One system that was presented to me recently is the new Speed Count method offered by Golden Touch Blackjack. After 45 years of analysis of the game of blackjack and volumes of writing by some of the best math minds on the subject, I must confess that I was skeptical that there could be any new, mathematically sound, blackjack system. However, Henry Tamburin invited me to attend a two-day Golden Touch Blackjack course. I know Henry personally and he has been an experienced and successful BJ player and writer about the game for 34 years, a chemist and technical manager in his “”real”” life before he retired, always giving sound math advice on casino gambling. He said he was also skeptical at first that there could be anything new under the BJ sun. But he challenged me to come to the GTB course and learn Speed Count first hand, which I did. I was surprised when Speed Count was explained and I saw good evidence that it works successfully in the casino
and can testify that it’s much easier to learn and use than traditional card-counting systems.

There’s no book or written material you can purchase that explains Speed Count, and students attending the course must sign an agreement that they will not reveal or circulate the details on Speed Count to anyone. You can only learn Speed Count by attending the hands-on two-day Golden Touch Blackjack class that’s personally taught by Henry, Frank Scoblete, and a team of instructors. Since the cost for this intensive two-day class is not trivial, I feel I should give my recommendation about its value.

Speed Count is 70%-80% as powerful as the popular High Low and KO card-counting systems. If you already know and use either of those systems accurately in the casino, you should already have the edge over the casino when you play blackjack and you don’t need to learn Speed Count. (However, its simplicity and built-in camouflage have been attracting even some of
these players.) Speed Count is great for the majority of BJ players who use basic strategy and want to use a simple counting system that they can learn and master in one weekend, one that will get them the long-term edge over the casino. Speed Count is also perfect for players who’ve found conventional card-counting systems too difficult to learn or too difficult to implement in the noise, confusion, and distractions of a crowded casino.

For more information on Speed Count, go to http://casinogambling.about.com/od/blackjack/gr/speedcount.htm.

2. Harrah’s has just issued its always-interesting annual Profile of the American Casino Gambler. The full report is at www.harrahs.com.

3. I get many questions about the Westward Ho open house advertised in various big-city newspapers. It’s a good deal with no strings attached — you attend the open house and they give you a free room offer. This is an easy comp for casino visitors who are looking for basic but clean Vegas rooms. Go to www.westwardho.com/openhouse to see the schedule of where these are being held and to register for an event.

11/12/2004

I’ve been very busy this week!! I’ve been playing in the second World Series of Blackjack. My game taping was on Tuesday and though I can’t tell you what happened, I can tell you that I’m normally accustomed to gambling when I have a lot of experience and practice under my belt, so I’m confident with my skill level. This week, however, I’ve felt like a lamb in a jungle of vicious man-eating (and woman-eating — they aren’t particular) predators. I hung onto the skirts of Lady Luck like never before.

Anyway, I turned over the column to the inimitable John Kelly.

FREE AT ANY PRICE by John (Lodestone) Kelly

“”So,”” I ask my wife, “”are you hungry?”” We’re in a casino, and living in Las Vegas hones a solid Pavlovian connection between ringing bells and one’s salivary glands.

“”I dunno,”” she says, “”Is it free?””

Well, yes and no, I explain. We’re at Texas Station, and we can always “”buy”” a couple of buffets with our Station Bucks, comps we’ve earned that are good at all Station casinos. So, it’s technically free, but it will cost us some comp dollars.

“”So it’s not free?””

Well, it is free, but wait. We’ve got a two-for-one buffet coupon. So it will cost us only half as many points.

“”So that makes it, uh, twice as free?”” she says, rubbing her temples in a vain attempt to ward off a headache.

That’s one way to put it. Of course, if we had one of the free dining coupons they often mail us, it would be totally free.

“”Totally free? Freely free?””

Yeah. Freer than free.

“”Do we have one of those?””

“”Yes, but it’s not good today. So, do you want anything to eat?””

“”Only if it’s free.””

And so it goes. The world of comps seems simple enough to the newbie: You don’t have to pay and sometimes you don’t have to wait in line, either. In reality, there are several shades of green in these grasslands that we graze:

1. COMP DOLLARS. Sometimes known as comp points or just “”comps in your account.”” These are the least “”free”” of comps, because like money, you “”earn”” these comp dollars, then “”spend”” them. Although you bank them, you’re not getting any interest and they’ll eventually expire, so misers need to loosen up and use them.

2. NOT-SO-FREE-ROOM OFFERS. Some free-room offers really are free, but many are deducted from your comp account as soon as you show up. So effectively, you’re spending your comp dollars, but at least you know what you’re getting ahead of time.

3. REAL-FREE FREE-ROOM OFFERS. These come from marketing and aren’t deducted from your comp account. They’re basically totally free, and often very valuable, but there’s a hidden cost: If you don’t continue to play there while using them, don’t expect another one.

4. COUPONS. Not the ones that are mailed to you, but something out a magazine or a voucher rack. They’re typically not very valuable, but there is no downside to using them. Unless they have your name and slot club number on them (and rarely even then), their use won’t to be traced to you, so they cannot deduct them from your account in any way.

5. MANNA FROM HOSTS. Higher rollers and long-time patrons can sometimes sweet-talk a host into using their god-like powers to grant your fondest wish without deducting anything from your account. Basically, this is a totally free comp, but you have to restrain yourself from going to this well too often, lest your mere presence cause hosts to cringe and flee.

6. LOCAL’S MAILINGS. These are the best, the tops, the totally free. Sure, some play was likely required to earn these, but like gift certificates, using them is a totally guilt-free pleasure. Good for a limited time only, use them or lose them. The only issue to consider is what to do when (as is often the case) they’re only good for $5 or so: Is it worth the trip? Probably not. The remedy is in hanging on to them until you are already there for some other reason — lunch, triple points, movies, whatever. Or you can just ignore them.

It’s a free country.

11/19/2004

Can You Afford Free? (Part I)

Last week we had a wonderfully funny guest column on “”free”” by my friend John Kelly. Then this week, I’ve been doing some holiday “”shopping,”” a “”free”” benefit given by many casinos around this time each year. So I’ve been thinking about the word.

With the usual holiday-shopping player’s club program, you earn holiday points all year in addition to your regular cashback points. Some casinos send you shopping certificates, the amount based on how much you played during the year. Sometimes you can use these holiday benefits to order items from a catalog, or redeem them for Free Play, or use them to get gift certificates for a retail store, like Lowes and Dillards. But some casinos set up a little shopping “”mall”” in one of their ballrooms, where you can actually see what items are available to “”buy”” with your points. No matter how the program works, these are extra benefits.

Actually, this bonanza of free doesn’t end when the holidays are over. It goes on year round. Anytime you get a casino comp, you’re getting something I lump into the big category of Free Stuff. We all know that casinos aren’t non-profit organizations, or at least they don’t plan to be, although occasionally one goes bankrupt — much to my surprise, in that I feel they have a license to steal. Therefore, a thinking person would logically ask: “”Is there no cost to a freebie you get from a casino?”” After all, we’ve all been raised with the warning, “”There’s no such thing as a free lunch.””

I’m called the Queen of Comps, so perhaps you think I encourage everyone to scramble for every comp they come across. Wrong! Actually, the comp system has always been a danger area and it’s becoming more so as competition heats up among all the casinos. Many are initiating freebie programs to pull in new customers or to encourage their present players to give them more of their gambling dollars.

For most players, all comps have a cost — they’re not really free!! Except for those very few players who never play in a casino unless they have a mathematical advantage, gamblers pay for their comps by playing games where they will lose over the long term. The casino’s comp policy is based on returning some of this loss to them in the form of comps or freebies so they feel better — and are more likely to come back. Some people think — wrongly, of course — that if they lose $100 they deserve $100 in comps. If you think about it, this would not make sense. Where would the casino get the money to build all these fancy buildings and pay the electric bill for all these lights, or pay their shareholders?

Fortunately — for the casino — many people don’t know about or seem not to be interested in learning about getting casino freebies. I’ve seen lots of numbers thrown around, but probably 20%-30% of casino visitors never get anything free from the casino, or at least no more than a free drink while they’re playing. Many of these players probably get free offers in the mail from a casino they’ve visited, if they’ve bothered to join the slot club, but they’ve thrown them out as junk mail.

I feel sorry for these people, but I don’t diss them. After all, the fewer comps they use, the more that will be left in the casino budget to reward those of us who do appreciate casino freebies.

Next week I’ll continue on this subject and give you some cold hard facts about comps and how to evaluate their cost and their worth. In the meantime, have a happy Thanksgiving and remember to be thankful for the most precious of all things — good friends and a loving family.

11/24/2004

We are continuing this week, as I promised, on the subject of the “cost” of a comp. For every comp you decide to work for, it’s wise to figure the cost and see if you can “afford” it.

Let’s say you play $1 slot machines. It’s impossible to know what any individual machine is set at – the casino ordered the machine from the manufacturer with a chip that gives that machine, over the long term, a certain return to the player. This return can vary some, even within one casino, and it can vary greatly from one casino to another, depending on the competition, location, etc. Ive seen figures from 91% to 99%, but a realistic average might be about 94%. That means the casino will average, over the long term, taking $6 out of every $100 a player churns through the machine.

Let’s say you play $3 on every pull and you play about 400 spins an hour. You’re cycling through $1,200 an hour. You’re going to lose on average about $72 an hour. Let’s say you play 4 hours a day – your average loss will be $288. Now let’s say the casino comps you your room for that night – one that ordinarily goes for $100. You might say you got a “free” room – and you would be right – literally. However, you actually paid $288 for it.

I’m not saying that this is the wrong thing to do. It’s a good bargain for you IF you were going to stay there (or anywhere else) anyway and pay $100 for a room – you ARE softening that $288 loss by $100. Losing $188 is better than losing $288.

Our first rule of thumb has always been that if we were going to put out the money anyway – for a meal, a room, a show, or for anything else – and we were going to gamble in a casino anyway – it’s very frugal to get as much free as the system offers to reduce our losses and/or keep as much in our gambling bankroll as we can.

The wise player benefits most by finding casino games where the loss will be smaller. Most casinos base their comp percentages on the average player’s results. Let’s say a casino figures its profit and bases its comps on the AVERAGE return of all the video poker games on the floor. Since video poker is a game where skill can give you better than average overall results, you can reduce the cost of your comps dramatically. You’ll get the same comps as the average player, but you’ll lose a much smaller amount. I spend many chapters in More Frugal Gambling showing you how to do this! And Max Rubin wrote a whole book about the subject, Comp City. My books emphasize doing this with machine play; Max’s book focuses more on the table games, especially blackjack, since it, like VP, is a skill game.

However, you might get so good at this comp game that, even though your cost may be going down, there may come a time when you can no longer afford every comp that is offered. “How could that be?” you might ask.

Next week I’ll discuss how to evaluate casino freebies so that you can more wisely decide which are really free and which you just can’t afford.

Posted in Frugal Fridays | Comments Off

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Gambling Records

Frugal Fridays – November 2004

Can You Afford Free? (Part I)

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