Wasting an Ace

I was playing $10 Bonus Poker at the M Resort in Las Vegas at 5 a.m. one morning. I know it’s too early for most players to be at a casino but there was a method to my madness. The machines I want to play are at a bar in a room that is frequently rented out for luncheons or other functions. If an organization rents out the room, they expect the room to be devoid of players for the duration. If I get there early enough, there’s a really good chance I can finish my play uninterrupted.

I was dealt 2♠ 2♥ 2♣ 8♦ 9♦. I tossed the diamonds, of course, and was fortunate to draw 2♦ A♦, making the final hand four deuces with an ace “kicker.”

This was a $2,000 jackpot and I quietly waited for an attendant. They have a system at the M where jackpots trigger some sort of electronic message which gets relayed fairly quickly to a floor person. I typically bring a book along in case this takes awhile. At this time of day, they have a skeletal crew because there are relatively few patrons compared to other times of the day and things can back up if two or more jackpots happen at the same time.

When the attendant came up, he smiled and said, “Very good! With a kicker!” Were I playing Double Double Bonus, the hand would be worth $8,000. Had I been playing Triple Double Bonus or Deuces Bonus on the same machine for the same denomination, the jackpot would have been worth $20,000 rather than a “measly” $2,000. When he first saw the number pop up on the screen, he assumed there was another zero because after all, it was a $10 game and good jackpots on such a big game must be “YUGE!” (or however you spell this year’s new word).

When he finally realized that the game I was playing didn’t pay extra for good kickers, he told me I had wasted the ace. I could have used it so much more lucratively in other games.

I smiled. I took this as friendly “advice” from someone who meant well.

“True,” I said. “But unfortunately they don’t let you pick the game after you hit the jackpot! I guess I’ll just have to live with this.”

To my mind, I didn’t waste the ace. “Wasting the ace” presumably is based on the theory that we only get so many 2222A jackpots in our playing career and we must maximize the value of each one.

I don’t subscribe to that theory. There is no video poker scorekeeper in the sky keeping track of how many times I’ve received that particular hand.

The 99.45% version of Deuces Bonus, with appropriate play, yields such a hand every 36,200 hands. It’s possible to get two or three of those jackpots in the same day. It’s possible to go several hundred thousand hands without hitting it. Whether I stay on the same machine or switch lots of time; whether I leave for the day after losing or winning some predetermined amount or keep playing straight through; whether I average four hours of play every three months or 40 hours a week–none of those things matter.

What does matter? The return on the game is one important factor. If Triple Double Bonus is the highest paying game in a casino within the range of denominations I prefer — and I can afford the swings — and if I play there at all, that’s the game I’m playing. If Bonus Poker pays the most, I’ll play that.

The first game has a sky-high variance. That means it’s very exciting and you’ll either win or lose a ton. The second game has one of the lowest variances in video poker. For some players that means it’s the most boring. How exciting or boring a game is isn’t in my list of major concerns.

The slot attendant had to come back to pay me. He didn’t actually give me $2,000 in cash (although he would have if I wanted it that way), but rather left the 200 credits on the machine so I could continue playing.

He was still a bit sorry for me that I had wasted that ace, but I assured him that I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it — and getting the fourth deuce was good news and I was happy with the hand. He shrugged like I was really confused but he didn’t want to embarrass somebody who couldn’t understand his point. And then he left.