Many of us APs spend a lot of time on the road, which is a separate life within AP. The speed traps in Capay and Onawa. The GWAE podcasts. The voice chats on Discord. And for some, the piss jugs. Avoiding the PJs might explain the growing popularity of Buccee\u2019s. Sure, Buccee\u2019s gives you a choice from dozens of identical gas pumps, and salt-water taffy, fudge, and brisket, all under one roof. But for the road-weary AP, Buccee\u2019s is just a clean, well-lighted place, including the bathrooms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So it is not without thought and experience that I\u2019ve come to have a deep appreciation for bathrooms and the workers who keep those bathrooms clean. Even the toke hustlers who set up shop in Vegas bathrooms add value (in a nightclub bathroom, those little toiletries and \u201camenities\u201d can be really valuable FTW!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead of paying them higher wages, society has recognized the tremendous value added by such workers by giving them loftier job titles. When I was a kid, there was a \u201cjanitor\u201d at school. Apparently that term has an unrefined connotation, so we\u2019ve upgraded that to \u201ccustodian,\u201d or \u201cbathroom attendant,\u201d or \u201cExecutive VP of Custodial Services.\u201d In casinos, I think these workers might just be \u201cMaintenance Technicians\u201d as part of that department. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have not<\/em><\/strong> heard anyone use the label \u201cAP\u201d for these workers, despite the fact that they make money at the casino. So what is an \u201cAP\u201d? That question has been coming up a lot lately, in particular as it pertains to machine players, many of whom learn a simple fact or two by following someone\u2019s Twitter account, and then go out picking up some money at the casino.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before I delve into the debate, let me issue a disclaimer: My comments are not a fox-and-grapes condemnation of those players who are currently making tons of money in machine play (MP). I\u2019ve been recommending to new APs that they make sure their portfolio includes machine revenue. MP is widely available, can be quite lucrative, has a short startup time, allows for solo execution, and is somewhat scalable. So to me, this is not a debate regarding the merits of the activity, per se, but moreso the labeling. Should a machine player be called an \u201cAP\u201d? (And when I talk about MPs, I\u2019m not talking about the analysts who derive strategies, sometimes performing statistical analysis after collecting data. I\u2019m talking about those players who read a tweet or watch a three-minute YouTube video and then go out and collect money.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let me tell you a Vegas story. Back in the day, when Steve Wynn was Vegas\u2019s favored son, he was quite hands-on with the management of his casinos. He didn\u2019t like the fact that some of his employees were, in his opinion, overpaid for the job. To that end, he tried to take a cut out of the dealer toke pool, and redistribute the shaved money to floorpeople who weren\u2019t getting a piece of those tokes. And if some of the shaved money boosted the casino\u2019s bottom line, that was a plus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The move to shave the dealer toke pool received widespread press coverage, lawsuits, and all the expected pushback from the dealers. <rant>\u201cIt\u2019s so hard standing up 6 hours per day. And we have to deal with unruly, drunk, abusive customers. You have no idea how hard this job is. We earn our $90k and then some. You should actually pay us a higher minimum wage. And our tokes are a birthright. What? You say you have a PhD and don\u2019t even make $90k? Well whose fault is that, brainiac? Not ours! You know we get yelled at by drunks, right?\u201d<\/rant><\/p>\n\n\n\n What didn\u2019t get a lot of press coverage was Steve Wynn\u2019s idea on cutting costs for the custodial staff. Here\u2019s the summary of the never-before-published white paper that was leaked to our GWAE \u201cinvestigative journalists\u201d (please don\u2019t call us \u201cbloggers\u201d or \u201ctrolls\u201d). So the janitors are making $20\/hour or more, on top of benefits. To make things worse, they\u2019re all joining a union. At this point, they barely even do much work. The faucets, towel dispensers, and hot-air hand dryers are all automated. Even though the janitors fill out a log and swipe their ID to indicate when they\u2019ve supposedly cleaned the bathroom, their main function is just to make sure the toilets and urinals are flushed, because it looks really bad if a customer sees some leftovers. So these unionized janitors are just pressing a button from time to time, and they\u2019re making over $20\/hour doing it, and it takes no training whatsoever. Idea: The casino can crowdsource the janitorial services.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Following the leak of this white paper, a Twitter account widely followed in the MP community (@SteveWynnIsNotGreedy) tweeted this sensitive info: \u201cThe Wynn has installed several new wongable machines. If you go behind the high-limit Regal Room to the even-more-high-limit private Los Banos Room, you\u2019ll see they\u2019ve installed a dozen Pool of Gold machines, and four Triple Ultimate Royal Diamond machines. I don\u2019t know the manufacturer, because they\u2019re not obviously labeled, but they\u2019re quite distinctive with a modern chrome and white porcelain housing. The TURD machines can be played in private booths, but the Pool of Gold machines are along the wall of the Los Banos Room. Swipe your card when you go in to make sure you earn the reward. If you see a Pool of Gold machine with any golden pool accumulated at all, then it\u2019s positive EV. Just push the button until the golden pool is cleared. At that point, your card is awarded a random amount of free play. It looks like the minimum is $1 per golden pool cleared, but I\u2019ve seen as high as $4, and the average seems to be around $1.50. Since you can easily find three golden pools per hour, that\u2019s maybe $5\/hour. By the way, the graphics are so impressive that some MPs say that it almost feels like the machine splashes them when they play. What\u2019s crazy is that the plops put the machine into golden shower mode, and then they just walk away, leaving the accumulated golden pool. Idiots!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThen there are the Triple Ultimate Royal Diamond machines. You\u2019re looking for a machine that has at least one TURD symbol. If there are three TURD symbols, you\u2019ll get a higher bonus. These plops just sit down on those machines, leave three TURDs and get up and leave! Morons! I\u2019ve also seen a machine that had three TURDs and<\/em> a golden pool, but I couldn\u2019t verify if that gives you a bonus multiplier. Just keep clicking until the symbols clear. Usually it takes only one click! I estimate that the four TURD machines would generate an additional $8\/hour. The plops don\u2019t seem to be wising up, and competition isn\u2019t too bad, so it\u2019s pretty steady. We just need more of these machines. Not sure why everyone isn\u2019t jumping on this sh**.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think about the guy that Steve Wynn fired. Each day, that guy drove to the casino. He would put in eight hours, though not all active work, of course. There\u2019s a lot of walking around. He did his best to increase his earnings by joining the union, and proudly carried his union card. His \u201cwork\u201d consisted of pushing a button from time to time. He earned $20\/hour, with no variance, and his \u201cgraph\u201d went steadily up, definitely positive. He was called a \u201cjanitor\u201d or \u201ccustodian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n What about the new guy who showed up when Steve Wynn crowdsourced the task through incentivization? Each day, this guy drives to the casino. He puts in his eight hours, though not all active work, of course. There\u2019s a lot of walking around. He does his best to increase his earnings by joining the rewards club, and carries his Platinum Card around his neck. His \u201cwork\u201d consists of pushing a button from time to time. He earns about $13\/hour, with variance, and his graph goes erratically up, very likely positive. He\u2019s called an \u201cAP\u201d?<\/p>\n [Note: Season 1 of Colin Jones will resume next time, and there is further good news: Netflix and GWAE have announced that Colin Jones is renewed for Season 2!] A few times per year, my elderly parents used to make the drive from New Jersey to Boston. 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