Lou Lang up to old tricks; Dog-and-pony show at Sahara

For months, state Rep. Lou Lang (D-Skokie), has been threatening to push an enormous gambling expansion through the Illinois Legislature during its lame-duck session. He says he’s “getting very close” but we’ve heard that kind of braying from Lang previously. A sock puppet of Illinois‘ horsey set, Lang won’t be satisfied with any bill that doesn’t dump as many racinos as possible on the greater Chicago area. That may not sit well with Gov. Pat Quinn (D), but did anyone doubt that Lang would press the issue until the last dog is hung? Never mind that we’re still months from seeing the effect that Illinois slot routes will have on casino gambling (and it could be immense): Quinn’s concerns are of a more here-and-now sort, such as the lower level of regulatory scrutiny to which a Chicago casino would be subject. (Chicanery in the Windy City? Perish the thought!) Less admirably, Quinn would reduce casino managers and other licensees to second-class citizenry by barring them from making campaign contributions. Existing casinos are going to take it in the shorts sometime in the next Lege, that’s inevitable, but Rule-or-Ruin Lou wants to inflict maximal damage and as soon as possible.

How symbolic it is that the offices of SLS Vegas, the planned reinvention of the Sahara, formerly housed Fontainebleau personnel? Sam Nazarian‘s cart-without-horse hotel project may be months behind schedule in terms of physical work, but it continues to parade show ponies to create at least an illusion of progress. Smilin’ Sammy Naz is talking up a 2014 reopening but 2013 is almost here and not a lick of work has been done.

West Hollywood retailer Fred Segal will have an exclusive retail rights to SLS LV. Considering that there are no Fred Segal stores in Nevada at present, seven in one place — including “a highly curated denim bar” — might seem a bit rash. Again, the multimillion-dollar question is, How do you get the clientele to the stores? The nearest retail to the Sahara is gargantuan souvenir store Bonanza Gifts (“If it’s in stock, we have it.”) and the closest casino is Circus Circus, famed as a fashionista hangout.

Can you see Fred Segal customers trekking in the hundreds, nay thousands, up to Sahara Avenue and the the Strip, either by taxi or Las Vegas Monorail, just to get a Fred fix? “We can’t think of a better partner than sbe with whom to create this unique retail experience in Vegas,” proclaimed Adam I. Sandow, CEO of Segal’s parent company — a man who’s apparently never heard of Wynn Resorts, Caesars Entertainment, Las Vegas Sands, MGM Resorts International or The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas. Nazarian seems determined to wrest some kind of upscale trophy property out of the Sahara site, no matter how hare-brained the business plan. Contrast this to the tortoise-like patience shown by Carl Icahn with regard to F’bleau. It’s difficult to believe Nazarian’s serious about all this nonsense but maybe it’s a fan dance intended to lure a buyer for one of the most naff casino investments in Vegas history.

Just about the only thing stranger than Sahara Sam’s charades is the Palms‘ newest watering hole, Scarlet. According to yesterday’s press release, Scarlet “is subtly tucked away [translation: hard to find] on Palms’ casino floor.” Once you do find it, good luck actually getting close enough to the bar to sample Francesco Lanfranconi‘s “elaborate mixology program.” (Only in Vegas could PR people manage to make the pleasures of drinking sound like a dreary postgraduate syllabus.) Scarlet is all of 200 square feet. Yes, 200. My last apartment was 3.75X that size! There are hotel bathrooms in Vegas larger than Scarlet. Sheesh!