It’s a big week for announcements at Caesars Entertainment. While I admit I’d completely forgotten who Christina Aguilera is, she’s got enough pop-culture cachet to 
justify a Las Vegas residency, starting May 31 at the Zappos Theater (an improvement on whatever moniker it had before) at Planet Hollywood. In rolling out the news, Aguilera punched all the Xpected buttons: “The Xperience is going to be my most ambitious show yet. Getting to perform in this adult playground we call Las Vegas is inspiring me to bring forth all of my talents in a mind-blowing theatrical experience – song, dance, visuals and uninterrupted high energy. For years I have been collecting ideas and concepts that have yet to be implemented on my stages, and Las Vegas is the perfect opportunity for me to collectively showcase my artistry. I cannot wait to bring you into The Xperience.”
While Aguilera will have the disadvantage of being in Lady Gaga‘s and Gwen Stefani‘s shadows, her establishment of a Strip beachhead is further proof that Las Vegas has passed its era of being where showbiz careers go to die. It also makes it that much easier for casino owners to woo headliners for residency shows when they can point to the names of those ladies, not to mention Celine Dion. Not being an Aguilera fan, I wouldn’t know what to Xpect from The Xperience but I imagine the critics will tell us soon enough.
* Nevada brothel Sheri’s Ranch is outing its customer base — to a degree. The Pahrump bordello has disclosed demographic information on the prospective clients visiting its Web site. They skew 74/26 male/female, with males age 45-54 dominating the Lookie-Lous. “Sheri’s has seen an enormous boom in the number of women and couples visiting us in the past several years, so it’s understandable that the proportion of women browsing our ladies online is steadily increasing,” said madame Dena. She added, “Men middle-aged and older frequent Sheri’s Ranch more than other age group – and many of our best repeat customers are middle-age men enjoying an ongoing ‘girlfriend experience’ with our courtesans.” Would-be patrons from the United Kingdom and Japan number 20% of those surfing the Sheri’s Ranch Web site. Washington, D.C., supplies a disproportionate 4% of viewers. Dean is unfazed: “As far as such a high concentration of online visitors coming from the District of Columbia, powerful people often have insatiable sexual appetites. Sheri’s is known for maintaining the privacy of our customers, so it’s no surprise that high-profile politicians are interested in learning more about the services our courtesans offer.” Just as long as they’re not doing it on the public dime.
* Arizona may be the next state to offer sports betting. A bill pending in both houses of the Lege would give the state’s 16 tribes the right to take sports wagers and not just at their 24 casinos or on reservation land. Any tribally owned facility with a liquor license could get in the game, so to speak. They can also contract with outside services for technology and operations, provided that the deal is an exclusive one. Taxation would be set an eminently fair 6.75% (same as Nevada). The only sports barred by the bill are NCAA-recognized ones, which does constitute a wide swath of action, you have to admit. You’d have to place your bets in person — but isn’t that part of the fun?
* If you think the Apocalypse is nigh (as both supporters and detractors of Donald Trump seem to do), 900K in green gets you Hard Luck Castle, a ready-for-Doomsday fortress in the Nevada desert. Seven tons of rebar and 24,000 went into this creation, whose arsenal of 22 rooms should give your family sufficient living space. And if they’re feeling frisky, they can crank out some tunes on either of the castle’s two, built-in pipe organs. Built between 2002-2012, the castle seems to have outlived its creator’s apocalyptic propensities and is on the market, priced to move, discounted from its initial $1.2 million.
“The castle is completely self sustaining and off the grid. Power comes from batteries charged by solar and wind energy,” reports CNBC, which also notes that it’s got a rainwater-harvesting system. And if you set store by the gold standard, there’s a mine on the castle’s 40 acres that hasn’t been tapped out yet. When you want to kick back, there’s a “wine cellar, theater and game room, glass solarium and planetarium and a fountain room.” Says realtor Jake Rasmuson, “you can get an 8,000-square-foot castle for the same price as one-bedroom condo in San Francisco.” If you’re curious about Hard Luck Castle and are willing to make the 187-mile drive from Las Vegas, a heads-up and $10 “donation” gets you a look-see. As Nevada attractions go, that’s dirt cheap.
