Faustian pacts at the Plaza

Update: Just minutes ago, John Katsilometes tweeted that Avant Garde has already closed. Wow! That may be an all-time record, unless you count Triumph: It Runs on Steam, which never officially opened at the Las Vegas Hilton, in another Colony Capital Classic Moment.
There’s good news at the Plaza Las Vegas, which is that overseer Anthony Santo is filling in some of the nooks and crannies that weren’t addressed during last summer’s big makeover. For instance, the mezzanine outside Oscar’s is now a smoking lounge, augmented with three blackjack tables. Nearby is a tonsorial parlor, Exposed, where you can pay $25 for the privilege of having your hair cut by women clad in lingerie. Insurgo Theater Movement, next to the bingo hall, has annexed a check-in desk, giving that enterprise a feeling of permanence. (Currently they’re presenting weighty fare in the form of Christopher Marlowe‘s Doctor Faustus, but a 16-week run of Cannibal! The Musical opens in the 10 p.m. slot this Friday.)

Keeping with our Faustian theme, downstairs it appears as though Tamares Group wanted to strike a deal with the devil. Satan being too expensive, Tamares settled for the next worst thing: Anthony Cools. The reliably cheapskate producer made over a bar into a combination watering hole and miniature golf course. I use the term “made over” generously, because it’s just a borderline-grotty dive bar with some putt-putt links randomly strewn about … including on top of a couple of unused escalators, which looks either surrealistic or tacky, depending on your taste. The vibe is, “Spare every expense!”

Similar things might be said of Avant Garde, produced by John Fondy and just as bad — if not worse — than Gold Coast’s Vegas Magic Theatre. Even on a less-than-full night, guests were being herded five or six into a booth (very uncomfortable, let me tell you) and subjected to a long “hold,” whilst fans blew chiffon around in the air for 10 minutes. A slide show dispensed pretentious puff about Picasso and Dali, which had nothing to do with the, uh, spectacle we were eventually going to see. Avant Garde is as cutting-edge as an antique butter spreader, consisting of hoary magic acts you feel you’ve seen before, even if you haven’t. At least Juliana Chen does her part with style, although if her card-firing tricks go on far too long, to the point where you’ve got her act figured. She must have at least 10 pounds of playing cards secreted in her voluminous costume.

I’ve just saved you $37.50.

Still, the performance we saw was not “a collection of music, mirth, magic and mayhem” but a succession of illusionists: four in succession. When someone came out to make shadow animals with his hands, we fled. Hand shadows? At $37.50 a ticket?? Seriously??? As for repellent Saved by the Bell refugee-turned-illusionist Ed Alonzo, the less said the better.

And here’s a business tip for all those casinos that don’t want to have long production shows (or intermissions) because time spent in the theater isn’t time-on-device: Raise the damn curtain at the appointed hour! I’ve been to Vegas shows that began as much as 25 minutes behind schedule. Ever think about how much money you weren’t making while you held the curtain, guys? Guys? <crickets>

You read it here first. As of noon today, it’s official that Hooters is shutting down Raack n’ Roll, in addition to Purple Reign. It still seems like a boneheaded move on new ownership’s part, and I’m beginning to think the hotel-casino could go away entirely and very soon.