Pawlenty, in real time

As you may have already read, Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R) is coming to Venelazzo to dole out some markers to the local GOP that he could call in for a 2012 presidential run (native son John Ensign having obligingly self-destructed). Pawlenty’s very down on unions, which he blames for many of his state’s problems, so it’s no wonder that he’s showing up as a guest of Sheldon Adelson. (Note to Culinary, teachers’ union: Potential picketing opportunity! Teevee time! Fun!!!)

Pawlenty lent 53 minutes to Minnesota Public Radio and some of what he had to say makes me wonder how he feels about playing the rubber-chicken circuit in Sin City, of all places (for him anyway). Here’s a partial blow-by-blow …

7″: Just 7 minutes in & T-Paw is already taking a condescending, belittling tone toward legislative process. Like that’ll play on Capitol Hill.

10″: At least T-Paw has the composure to laugh, take it in stride when constituent phones in, calls him “a coward.”

26″: T-Paw equates [reckless] mortgage lenders w. casinos. Wrong. Casinos have way more financial safeguards. T-Paw’s either a dunce or prude, maybe both.

37″ [And the winner is … “prude”]: Pawlenty nixes any MN expansion of gambling w. many an unpleasant sneer. Dismisses casino revs as merely “hundreds of millions.” No, really.

[OK, so maybe “dunce,” too, since the logical economic counter-argument would be that more casinos are no longer equaling more revenue and he could back it up with statistics.]

39″ [And, coming down the back stretch, it’s “prude”!] T-Paw practically [and repeatedly] spits out “gaming” like an insult.* Can’t take much more of this whiny, sarcastic, sanctimonious, self-pitying jerk.

* Fun fact: Pawlenty was for casino expansion before he was against it, tells interviewer failed legislative push was everybody’s fault except his.

Actually, I went the distance, although I’m surprised Pawlenty didn’t dislocate an arm patting himself on the back. People who find the current occupant of the White House smug and didactic might not like Pawlenty much better. He’s pretty stuck on himself (like most politicians only more so), at times nauseatingly self-righteous. The dude’ll have to dial back on his constant propensity to sneer … unless he’s a VP-wannabe, in which case being the attack dog comes with the job title.

As you can tell from the transcript above, his brittle, defensive and reflexively “Yer mamma wears Army boots” manner doesn’t wear well over the course of an hour and he practically blows a blood vessel when a negative local newspaper editorial is mentioned. The guy comes off as very uptight. He’s lasted as long as he has partly because Minnesota’s three- and four-way gubernatorial races only required him to eke out a plurality (and, boy, did he eke in 2006).

Overall impression: Won’t make it in 2012, not even close, and probably will find he doesn’t have the stomach for it. His affect is that of CPA-in-Chief, so that’s not going to help. If he thinks Minnesota politics are rough, he’s in for a surprise when he tries to go national. T-Paw can churn out facts and figures with the best of them betrays no trace of what Bush pere called “the vision thing.” Chances are he’ll either bore potential voters to death or snap from the rhetorical pounding he’ll take on the campaign trail and have a very entertaining public meltdown, maybe flipping out on Matt Lauer in best Tom Cruise fashion.

He should have an, uh, interesting time at Casa Sheldon, given his prim, Church Lady attitude towards gambling. If Minnesota tribal casinos stick in his craw, he ain’t seen nothin’ yet. (Maybe a little nightclubbing would kill the bug up his ass.)

I strongly suspect he’d oppose UIGEA repeal — the only major gambling issue on the federal docket — but mask his moral snootiness (he’s an evangelical Christian) behind his anti-tax mantra. On tribal-gambling issues he’s been as constant as a weather vane and was guilty of some nasty anti-Native American rhetoric in the wayback. To his credit, whether one agrees with him or not, Pawlenty evinces a much better-informed grasp of education and environmental issues than does the entire Las Vegas Review-Journal editorial board rolled together.

OK, it’s a very small compliment but I’m trying to find something to say in T-Paw’s favor. He’s considerably more substantive than some of his likely opponents (if Mitt Romney doesn’t run, Pawlenty can position himself as Romney Lite — now with 100% less Mormonism!) and has been staying up nights burnishing his fiscal-conservative credentials, so if you’re casino-friendly but lean rightwards I guess it comes down to how much of his bluenose morality and Debbie Downer personality you can abide.

Thirty-one years ago, I moved to Minnesota and one of the first radio voices I came to recognize was MPR’s Gary Eichten. With the possible exception of Jon Ralston, I can’t think of anybody else who relates governmental minutiae with the breathless excitement you’d associate with Terry and the Pirates or the latest episode of Lost. It’s good to hear that, three decades-plus on, Eichten hasn’t lost any of the joy in his work. There’s an example for the rest of us, journalists especially.