Revel: Don’t cry for him, Argentina; Are Twinkies the new Caesars?

Revel Atlantic City‘s day of deliverance is at hand: CEO Kevin DeSanctis has been ousted, along with Chief Investment Officer Michael Garrity. But there’s no need to shed tears over their fate. They will continue “developing amenity projects” for Revel (since they’ve done such a bang-up job to date) and will retain their sinecures with holding company Revel Group, which had entrusted them with the $2.4 billion megaflop’s leadership. DeSanctis’ replacement is Jeffrey Hartmann, a 16-year Mohegan Sun veteran who was sacked by Mitchell Etess last fall, after less than a year as CEO, as part of a larger workforce massacre. Hartmann now gets to stage a grudge match with Etess, who’s trying to re-re-invent Resorts Atlantic City (not well: -22% last month), which the late Dennis Gomes reinvented not so long ago.

This news comes close upon the heels of another depressing month for Atlantic City, down 12.5% in February (worse still when Revel’s $9 million is taken out of the equation). However, taking competition and storm damage into account, Deutsche Bank analyst Carlo Santarelli wrote, “The strangest thing about February results is that we think they were better than expected.” Slot win was -18% but table revenues grew 1%, despite remarkably poor drop (down 19%). Compounding a month of bad news for Boyd Gaming, one analyst described Borgata as having “underperformed” the market, with revenue off 7.5%, driven by a poor month at the tables (-9%). However, a 7% decline in slot win actually constituted ‘outperformance.’ Or as the old song goes, Been down so long it looks like up to me.

Slot inventory along the Boardwalk was cut 8%, which is probably good for operators but will cause the manufacturing sector to frown. The Caesars Entertainment four-pack continues to slide, down 24%, with both slot handle and win dropping by 28%. Wretched and orphaned Trump Plaza bungee-jumped 42% lower, to a how-do-they-stay-open $5 million gross. Although he’s outgrossing Revel, Tilman Fertitta had an off month at the Golden Nugget (-9%). However, bargain-basement market positioning continues to do wonders for Colony Capital‘s Atlantic Club (up 23%) and the Tropicana Atlantic City didn’t miss a step, up 12.5%. Hmmmm … I think we’ve found the solution to Revel’s problem: Sell it to Carl Icahn and let his casino people run it. C’mon! Could they do any worse?

While Unite-Here prexy Robert McDevitt was quick to paint a smiley face on 1,434 potential layoffs at Trump Dump, er, Plaza — and it is a federal requirement during a change of ownership — I’d say he’s blowing smoke. Even at a flea-market price like $20 million, new owner Meruelo Group will have difficulty justifying carrying that entire workforce at a casino that is grossing half as much as the second-worst performer in town. Despite McDevitt’s false optimism, Meruelo President Xavier Gutierrez would only commit to rehiring “a substantial number” and was quite vague about how that would be done. (Read: At lower wages.) Strangely, both Trump Plaza and Gutierrez are denying that they put out the WARN Act notices. Somebody’s being mendacious and it’s not clear who — or why.

Gone again, naturally. Casino jitterbug Tim Poster is out of Wynn Las Vegas less than a month after being named its COO. His predecessor — and current Wynncore president — Maurice Wooden will probably have to resume his former duties for the time being. “Golden Boy” Poster has been bouncing around the industry for nine years and never stays in one place for long. Maybe the Feritta Brothers still have a job for him back at Fertitta Interactive, where Poster kept a chair warm for the last couple of years. Except for selling the Golden Nugget Las Vegas at an inflated price ($245 million in 2005) has this man ever accomplished anything in gaming? Well … he’ll always have Bachelor Party Vegas to his credit.

Twinkies have a new co-owner, according to CBS This Morning. Unfortunately, it’s Apollo (Mis)Management Group, which worked such wonders on Caesars Entertainment. If Apollo does for Twinkies what it did for Caesars, who will want to eat them? And if you buy a Twinkie today, will you have to wait until 2017 to get it … and then only a small percentage of the Twinkie you actually purchased? Will Apollo employee Gary Loveman sell you a whole Twinkie or give you a “distressed” one, then tell you you’re lucky you got that much … and threaten to default on your Twinkie altogether if you complain?