There were two separate incidents that occurred during a recent NSU Deuces Wild class I taught at the South Point. They are not related to each other at all — except they both happened on the same day and neither is enough to justify an entire column. So, I’ll combine them.
The first incident happened before the class. For the noon class, one of my helpers, “Larry,” gets there at 10:30 and together we set up the room. I had finished my part of the setup and was hovering near the back table where Larry was setting up strategy cards, Winner’s Guides, software, and books that I sell during the class.
Some guy, maybe 75-years old, came by and asked us what we were doing. When he found out I was going to be teaching a video poker class, he told us he already knew how to play video poker, so he didn’t need a class.
“Would you like to take the test we give at the end of the class and see how many you get right?” I asked gently. Unless the guy was a really good player, I knew he wouldn’t ace the test. There are a lot of things to know in order to play video poker well.
It didn’t matter, because he didn’t want to take the test. But he asked me if I wanted to earn $200 by just getting one joke correct — and I’d only have to pay $5 if I got it wrong.
“No thanks,” I told him, as did Larry. This had “sucker bet” written all over it and we wanted no part of it.
But this guy insisted on asking his joke anyway, namely, “What has ten wheels, flies, and it isn’t an airplane?” And he was still asking Larry and me if we wanted to play.
I told him I’m not paying off if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure there must be some type of jet that had ten wheels — which should qualify as being a correct answer whether it was the one he had in mind or not. He told me that wasn’t the answer, but if I wanted to guess for real and win $200 while only risking $5, he’d still let me.
Neither Larry nor I bit, so he told us the answer — namely “a garbage truck.” Cute enough. As he left, he told us we could make a lot of money from that making bar bets.
Doubtful. This guy was letting us take the bet AFTER WE’D HEARD THE QUESTION. The only time someone would/should take the bet is if he already knew the answer. If the guy was actually going to pay off if someone said “garbage truck,” this bet was a loser, not a winner.
It’s possible, of course, that were Larry or I able to come up with “garbage truck,” he would disqualify the answer somehow. We avoided it because it seemed like a sucker bet. After the guy left, I wondered who the sucker was.
Here’s the second incident: One of the test questions at the end of beginner level NSU class was how to play J♥ T♥ 7♥ 5♠ 3♦. This is pretty simple. Holding JT7 (the bold italics mean the cards are suited with each other) is clearly correct. I include it in the test because in Full Pay Deuces Wild, the correct play is JT, not JT7. For players who play all Deuces Wild games the same and learned FPDW sometime in the past, this would be a “tricky” hand.
But a guy who missed it, “John,” always sits in the front row and takes exhaustive notes. He regularly challenges me if he doesn’t understand something the first time. I don’t mind this at all. Usually I know the correct answer and can set him straight. Sometimes it requires using the Video Poker for Winners software. And a few times, he has caught an error which I took note of and corrected before the next time I taught the class.
But this time was different. John said, “I’m taking notes and I know that ten minutes ago, you said we never hold three-card straight flushes with two gaps in this game. I take good notes and I know you said it and now you’re saying the opposite!”
John was correct. I did say it. But he skipped a few words at the beginning of my quote, namely, “When there are one or two deuces in hand . . .” That is, letting a W stand for a deuce, W 6♣ 8♣ and W W 6♣ 8♣ are eligible to be held, but W 6♦ 9♦ and W W 6♦ 9♦ aren’t. This rule is specific to NSU. In many other deuces wild variations, the rule is different.
Video poker is full of those “read the fine print” caveats. And it takes a while to master them. It’s also possible that I didn’t utter the complete caveat when I was speaking about the strategy in the 2-deuces or 1-deuce sections. Within each section, it’s clearly understood that I’m speaking only about the strategy rules in that section.
At least it’s clearly understood by me. Maybe not so much by John. Which is why he asked the question.
Will I phrase it more accurately next time? I’m not sure. When I’m explaining the 1-deuce strategy, I’ll mention “1-deuce” three or four times in the five minutes it takes to go through that section in the beginner class (the 1-deuce section in the intermediate class takes much longer than five minutes). Mentioning it more than that gets tedious and sounds too much like legalese. I can never know exactly which of my statements will get transcribed into someone’s notes.
There’s a trade-off between giving enough information and giving too much information to the class as a whole, and whatever statement I make will be too much for some particular students and not enough for others. I’m sure other teachers struggle with this as well. So, I just use my judgment to pitch it where I think is appropriate and rely on student questions to let me know when they need more help.
Sucker bet is right! The old guy had a second plausible answer and no matter which is guessed he will produce a scrap of paper with the “correct” answer written on it. This will prove that you must pay the $200. If someone makes a fuss he will say that it wasn’t his answer and just walk away… still not out anything.
Reply
Seems like an easy way to beat the game (assuming its legitimacy) would be to say you would take the bet, but he would have to write down the answer and hand the answer and money to a third party before you give your guess. Incidentally, I came up with “garbage truck” without having heard the riddle before. In most of these types of riddles, one of the tricks is that there is usually a homonym, so I immediately assumed “flies,” to refer to the insect. $200, ship it, EZ-PZ.
Reply
If you to WIN at NSUD, throw strategy out the window. It doesn’t work.
Reply
The strategy works well for me.
Given it’s a 99.7% game with variance and you need some sort of slot club + promotions + mailers to make it playable, and on any day you don’t hit a royal or deuces you’re going to lose, it’s worked very well for me over the years. It’s probably the game with second-most coin-in lifetime — after 9/6 Jacks.
Reply
Got to love the provocateurs who reject an established fact by saying it “doesn’t work”, yet fail to provide any viable alternative.
Reply
The answer could also be some type of military helicopter, or a rocket that has a transport dolly attached to it, or a jet-propelled heavy-duty skateboard that has enough power to become airborne, or an injured eagle fitted with prosthetic landing gear. And on the flip side, a garbage truck doesn’t NECESSARILY have flies (on it, in it, etc.). I guarantee that on a snowy January morning in Minnesota, for example, it won’t have any flies on it at all. Probably also not in a driving wind or rainstorm. And certainly not just after it rolls off the factory assembly line.
That’s why I hate these stupid bar bets/riddles/etc. They’re always dependent on semantics, and have some kind of element of dishonesty in them. Although they do have one social purpose–they illustrate why lawyerese is so stilted and precise.
Reply
It sounds like the old guy is trying to be Dr. Geezer in the joke of the day over on the Chip Board:
An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000.
Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ?”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: Aaagh ! — “This is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. “Doctor, I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t… That’s gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak. I can hardly see anything!”
Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, here’s your $1000 back.” (giving him a $10 bill)
Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
Moral of story — Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer.”
Remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to tick us off.
Reply
I’m just getting into video poker. What does NSU mean. I’m not trying to be rude, but when you abbreviate in your articles…..can you spell out the word the first time when you abbreviate.
Reply
The articles assume a rudimentary knowledge of video poker or at least, access to sources–such as a beginner’s book–that can explain common terms. Failing that, you can simply Google the term. But you do have to get it right–it’s “NSUD.” Spelling out every term used would take up space, which is limited in this format.
I suppose Bob has little patience with folks needing to be spoon-fed information. I wouldn’t like to have to answer a question like “Jacks or better–better than what?” I don’t teach video poker, but I am a teacher, and I always expect my students to expend some effort. If you spend 15 minutes familiarizing yourself with common VP terms, then these articles will be much more helpful to you.
Reply
@ Kevin, Im not asking to spell it out every time. Usually in articles or books, the first abbreviation is spelled out. As I said before I’m new to video poker. I didn’t know NSU meant “not so ugly” and is basically deuces wild. I understand Jacks or better and deuces wild, but not NSU. Doesn’t mean you have to shame me or belittle me. I’m sure in gambling everyone has specialties, not well rounded as you Kevin. I’m sure you know terms and difference in terms like “Croupier”, “breaker”, “decoy”, and “banger”. Or should I spoon feed you?
Reply
Kevin, I’ll bet I can type “not so ugly” faster than you can find what NSU means by searching Google. As a (half-assed) blogger myself, I always write with the uninitiated in mind because my belief is that making newcomers feel welcome is one important way for a blog to grow. Therefore, I don’t find Marc’s suggestion so unreasonable, or ridiculous, as you obviously do. Whether or not other bloggers feel the same is their business but, that aside, your comments really take the cake. The only way I can describe them is beautiful in a whacky, nonsensical kind of way. My personal favorite is your analogy; at the same time funny and irrelevant. Do you really believe that “jacks or better–better than what?” is tantamount to “what does NSU mean?”
Then, after Bob Dancer addresses Marc’s comment directly, seemingly bolstered by some illusion that you did such a good the first time, you come back with a second comment filled with equally inane points and an equally irrelevant analogy. But the best, where you actually hit a grand slam (four runs batted in), is when you, in essence, cancel out all your previous railings against Marc by declaring that experts shouldn’t have a problem going the extra mile if he or she is “talking to an absolute neophyte.” Well, if someone clearly states in his first sentence that he is “just getting into video poker’ isn’t that a pretty strong indication that he’s a neophyte?
If you are a shill planted by administrators to keep threads going and provide comic relief then I would say you are very good at it, if not brilliant. If you are a teacher seriously attempting to edify, my guess is you’re a few thousand Google searches short of being qualified.
Reply
In the first sentence I said NSU Deuces Wild — so that tells you it’s a form of that game. In particular it’s the 16-10-4-4-3 version returning 99.728% when played well.
in every deuces game, the strategy is broken down into sections by the number of deuces dealt. The entire point of this story is that the strategy in the “one deuce” section is not the same as the strategy in the “no deuces” section.
Reply
If I didn’t know what those terms meant in the context you were using them, I would make an effort to find out what they meant rather than expecting them to be explained for me. Unless you’re talking to an absolute neophyte on a given subject, you shouldn’t want or be required to explain every term you use. Baseball announcers don’t say, “That gives him 45 RBI on the season, which for those of you who don’t know, means runs batted in.” Similarly, Bob uses a term like “3RF” without saying “That means three cards to a royal flush,” even the first time in an article. That’s because he, like the baseball announcer, presumes that his audience has some kind of rudimentary knowledge of the topic, or FAILING THAT, the ability to look up a term that would be unfamiliar.
By the way, i just Googled “NSU Deuces Wild” (which is the term Bob used) and got 22 hits, all of which explained the term in detail.
Reply
Pardon my poor proof reading skills. I meant “DON’T throw strategy out the window” for NSUD. This game can eat you up playing perfectly!
Reply
Making a typo or forgetting a word is easily understood and forgiven.
This time it made you look like a troll — which is not so easily forgiven. I’m glad you clarified this.
Reply
Yeah. My apologies. I didn’t even know about it into someone I know told me. Again, my apologies!
Reply
As you see above. “Into” should be “until.” Ugh.
I need a new phone!!
Reply
There have been times when I wanted to throw a NSUD machine out the window. But casinos never have windows.
Reply
Yeah, if you like consistent gut shot, two pair draws along with dumping winning hands containing one or more deuces chasing, then this game is for you.
Reply
Bob,
This article brings up a question. I read your book “Million Dollar Video Poker” and laughed a lot, you are a good story teller, BUT you made several examples of “perfect play” that to me seemed ridiculess, for example in this blog you say “That is, letting a W stand for a deuce, W 6♣ 8♣ and W W 6♣ 8♣ are eligible to be held, but W 6♦ 9♦ and W W 6♦ 9♦ aren’t. ” Excuse me but I thought any open ended play for a straight flush was a good play but here, because of the two gaps it is not! Quite frankly I don’t get it. I know you are not teaching here but on the surface, this seems to be the best play to keep whereas you say JT7 with two gaps is the better play. I know, different games, but when you give such examples shouldn’t you also include a simplifies reason as to why without actually teaching?
Reply
I’m not going to go over basic strategy in every article. But the information you are asking about is readily available in the Winner’s Guides. And software gives you the numbers to understand these things.
Compare, for example, the number of cards that can fill in WW68 versus WW69. In the first case, a suited T, 9, 7, 5, 4 and the other two deuces (a total of seven cards) fill in the straight flush. In the second case, a suited T, 8, 7, 5 and the other two deuces (a total of six cards) fill in the straight flush. Surely you can see that a combination with seven “good” cards is better than a combination with six “good” cards. Yes?
If this remains too difficult, and you are unwilling to study the Winner’s Guides, perhaps video poker is not the right game for you.
Reply