The second coming

To follow the local media, you’d think Jesus Christ was returning to Earth at Caesars Palace. Instead, it’s Céline Marie Claudette Dion, who owns a just slightly smaller fanbase. Back when her first Caesars residency was announced, at a time when Sin City was experiencing a 2002 mini-slump, I wrote a piece for Nevada Business Journal entitled, “Celine Saves Vegas.” (The deal was so generous to Dion that it prematurely cost Park Place Entertainment CEO Tom Gallagher his job and set off a 2003 bloodbath in the executive suite.) That’s nothing compared to the hopes pinned on her now: According to the Today show, Dion’s presence is expected to boost Strip visitation 3% — i.e., more than CityCenter did.

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Somebody needs to tell “journalist” Jenna Bush Hager that It’s Not About You. It looks like Dion’s got what Ed Sullivan used to call “a rrreally big shew” and won’t disappoint. Better still, there’s no trace of the inscrutable Dragonerie that made A New Day so aggravating … not least the mysterious mock-albino that my wife dubbed “Powder” (for all you Sean Patrick Flanery fans). Also, with Jabbawockeez and now Dion doing …

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Michael Jackson-inspired shows, will the Jacko-in-Vegas jones be sated by the time Cirque du Soleil®‘s much-ballyhooed MJ show drops anchor in Mandalay Bay roughly two years hence? After the financial disappointment of Viva Elvis, one hesitates to say that Jackson is money in the bank. (Ain’t nobody talking about why the big Aria wrap for the Presley show mentions neither Viva Elvis™ nor Cirque du Soleil®, by the way.)

It’s remarkably ungallant of Newsweek to slug fortysomethings Dion and fellow Canadian Shania Twain (left) “big-name talent of a certain age.” Dion isn’t Cher or Bette Midler emerging from semi-retirement and (in Cher’s case) doing the bare minimum necessary to collect a hefty paycheck. The article also dwells on the symptoms of Las Vegas‘ economic downfall but lets the villains of the scenario (over-optimistic homebuilders, spendthrift condo and casino developers, LBO-crazed gaming moguls, criminally irresponsible bank executives and other Wall Street enablers) completely off the hook. It’s not like all this desperation and privation came out of nowhere.

She’s baaaaack. Not Céline but the gift that keeps on giving. For local media, Christmas just came nine months early.

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