Sorry, everyone.
Obviously, that one wasn't quite the hit that I thought I remembered it to be.
The song was Reuben James. The version I remember was a 1969 thing by a group called The First Edition, whose lead singer was Kenny Rogers.
By the time they did this one, they had already dropped in to see what condition their condition was in, and Ruby had already taken her love to town.
Can't think of anything new at the moment, so I'll leave the floor open.