Author: Bobby Vegas

A reader asked me to “show him the way” to easy play. Then he wouldn’t listen. I was frustrated, but kept on.
What brings me great satisfaction? Turning just one newbie away from the dark side of foolish wasteful gaming. This is a calling, my friends. We are but seekers of the truth, hunters of the mathematical epiphany manifesting as a royal flush.

That slim chance of deliverance is a 40,000-1 redemption. We soldier on, knowing it’s coming if we just learn to play the Good Game.

Really, it’s okay to just play. Heck, I have a profound desire — no, a need — to play, to dance and imbibe like any of us in this one-of-a-kind adult Disneyland, even at my advancing age and maybe even more so. It keeps me young and fresh and alert.

But as they say, “You can’t keep it if you don’t give it away,” so when I was corresponding with “Joe,” though frustrated, I kept insisting this neophyte do what for many these days seems a rare commodity: THINK!

Read “The Best Video Poker on the Strip,” learn the games, and walk away from anything under 99.5%. Avoid the siren call of the Strip — the bright lights enthralling you as your wallet is vacuumed clean — and your intense regret on the flight home, hungover and broke. “Why did I go to the (dark chapel of) ATM again, and again?”

It’s okay. You’ll get another chance at redemption. As long as you didn’t actually sign a marker for your home, car, and first born.

But even Joe, after pleading “I want to play at Caesars,” saw the light. “I didn’t realize even at quarter level I’d need a $1,000 bank and at $1/$5 many times more than that.”

Though he’d danced along the edge of the bad-gaming precipice, he turned away! That satisfaction, turning one player and toward the light of advantage play? Excellent.

This is not a game for everyone. It requires patience, skill, and dedication, while frivolity reigns and surrounds you like a waterfall. Witnessing people plied with free drinks, pouring dollar after dollar down the rat hole, hoping against hope, is downright tragic, especially knowing that if they just looked at the pay schedule and understood what they were seeing, their future would be nicely laid out for them and they could’ve avoided all the sucker traps. Maybe 3% do. Is that you?

Here’s the kicker. Once they see us coming, then observe us for a time, the Big Houses don’t like us at all.

“Don’t give that guy a room, a meal, free play, or a damn dime. He actually knows what he’s doing and we can’t have that!”

And like a lonely Dirty Harry (“Do I feel lucky?”), I ride on down the road. No worries, there are 100 more casinos right down the road.

And since he read the guides, is learning the good games, and will be on the search for the better way of advantage play, I, having converted one more soul, for that today I’m content.

Bulletin! Bulletin! Stop the presses. A Bobby Vegas emergency has been declared. Calling all able-minded swift-fingered patriots.

Developed in the last hours of Memorial Day, your mission, if you choose to accept it, is: Come to Vegas. Now.

To paraphrase Ed Harris’ quote from Apollo 13, “Failure is not an option. People, work the problem.”

People! Men, women, heck, bring your dogs if you have to, America needs you today, so step up.

My best bud Bobby Wilson alerted me that he was driving down the Strip (during the BTS K-Pop invasion at Allegiant, no less ) and said the street was as empty as COVID. He’d invited his son to town to take advantage of hotel rooms for $0. Zero? I had to check it out. Okay, I didn’t find any zero-dollar rooms, but I was stunned to find on Expedia Strip hotels for $8-$20 a night!

Here they are: Circus Circus, Harrah’s, Horseshoe, Linq all $8; Flamingo and Excalibur $9; Luxor and Sahara $12; Strat $15; Planet Hollywood $20. These are all before resort fees, so call it $60-$70 total per night. On the Strip! Find a hotel anywhere in the U.S. right now for less than $125 to $200.

“All we are asking is give Vegas a chance.”

Be an American. Gamble. Eat! (As Grandma used to say, “You’re just skin and bones!”) Party, dance, see shows, buy clothes, but come to VEGAS.

America needs you. More important, Vegas needs you. All you need to do is super easy. With literally tens of thousands of empty hotel rooms (especially if you’re flexible and can come Sunday to Thursday), grab a super-value Bobby Vegas vacay.

The Canadians abandoned us. The Mexicans. The Asians. While Americans are being socked with $4 and $5 gas, food inflation, rising utilities, the corporates are desperate, throwing deals out there you NEED to take advantage of. Smell blood? Pounce.

Frankly I’m tired of all the Vegas bashing. This is a value play of epic proportions. Don’t miss out. Grab it.

With any active casino play, they’ll roll out the red carpet and toss in free … well, everything. Free play, food credits, shows — you name it, you can probably get it. Just ask. Then tell us. Report back to us here @ LVA HQ.

Pining for the good ol’ days? They’re here. Again. I stayed at the Stardust for $14 a night with $10 free play back and a free buffet coupon or two.

I’ve been raving about the insane deal the Wynn’s been sending me that, when all the free play and food credits are subtracted, ends up costing $6.50 a night. For the Wynn.

People. Step up. Vegas needs you. Ask not … no, correct that. Do ask what Vegas can do for you and what you can do for Vegas. Easy peasy. Just show up.

We thank you. We salute you. Now go find the good machines and rock the house, baby. Patriotism never felt this good.

Life is chaos. Everyone’s “Kung Fu fighting.” Feeling assaulted by AI? $5 gas? $6?! Me too.

I did have a great birthday, though. Friends showed up, big time. Cards, letters, songs, CAKE! (by the ocean), meals, gifts — it’s really nice being appreciated.

And for a kid who was surprised to make it out of high school alive (remember the very unPC term “juvenile delinquent?” Yeah, honors in THAT class) and survived two years of hell recently (including five surgeries) seven-oh’s a big number for me. Okay, they haven’t named a street after me … yet.

Then there are all the fab birthday deals spanning days and nights of free food, play, and fun to tickle my scuffler fancy.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t make Vegas for this year’s birthday. I just wanted to play some VP and go dancing, but I broke my toe banging into a coffee table leg, so no
“breaking” for this dancer.

Even when I’m not IN Vegas, I monitor email offers, mailers, etc. and was happy to see all the deals going on at Four Queens (and elsewhere). However, the cost of their Silver Slots tourney seemed a LOT higher. Signing up for the $12K event was 360 smackolas. They do give a $75 one-ounce silver token, so call it $285. Still didn’t it used to be $99 or $149?

During December and again now, Wynn’s standard offer to me, $174 a night (includes the $55-per-night resort fee), $25 each free play and food credit got very good by adding two tickets to Awakening. Two nights minus all that is, as Anthony counts it, $28 a night at Wynn. Winner winner XS Nightclub for dinner.

Then I almost had a heart attack (bad joke; been there). My new Rainbow Emerald Island mailer came without their super points multiplier pay schedules. Noooo!!

Called in … still in place … phew! And being their top-notch “Rainbow is customer service,” she wanted to know, “Do you play at the bar? Different schedules.” And “Do you want me to READ the multiplier schedule over the PHONE?” Wow. Some casinos won’t even answer the phone. Oh, I can also “pick up the printed schedule at the cashiers booth.”

Besides amazing monthly food deals, you can now use your points for Lyft to and from the casino and at many nearby Water Street venues. Innovative.
There still is gold at the end of Water Street’s Rainbow.

Last question. Timeshares? Ever done the deed? In a fit of lunacy, I took the $200 offer.
Let Hilton try to close me — heck, why not? True story: Years ago, my ex and I went on a timeshare weekend on the Outer Banks. I just said, “Honey, in the presentation, I have THE LAST word.”

She chatted on and on about curtains and colors so much that the salesman was already spending his commission. Then he finished. I looked him in the eye and said one word. “No.” He got it.

Keep scuffling.