Ronald Reagan --- https://www.facebook.com/reel/2012166549521988
Ronald Reagan --- https://www.facebook.com/reel/2012166549521988
I like this one (Reagan told it someplace):
A preacher and a politician happened to be showing up same time at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. Saint Peter, orienting a new assistant, said to the new recruit "Here come two new admissions, follow me and I'll show you the ropes."
Saint Peter ushered the preacher and the politician in, said to them "I'm going to show both you fellas to your quarters."
First stop was at the preacher's quarters, a small plain room, single size bed, old desk and chair, drab wall paint, tiny closet, small radio, bathroom down the hall.
Second stop was at the politicians digs, a big suite, king size bed with plush coverings, big screen TV, double closet, window with a view, and private bathroom.
On the way back to the Pearly Gates, the new guy asked St. Peter, "Excuse me sir, but this seemed kind of strange to me. The preacher was given that small drab room, while the politician got that nice big suite, all the furnishings, big screen TV, private bathroom. I'd have thought the preacher, with all his good works down on earth would have been given the better quarters."
St. Peter replied, "Well, son, the fact is, we get lots of preachers up here, but we rarely get a politician!!!
sis-boom-bah...rim shot...
Candy
I like the one that Ronny Raygun probably never told, not in public anyway:
Joe dies a couple of years after his wife and is welcomed by St. Peter, whom he tells that the greatest joy he will experience in heaven is being reunited with his wife. St Peter smiles, hands Joe his admission papers (even in heaven!), and asks Fred the Angel to escort him to his new living quarters. Fred gestures toward the open door of a plush limo. Joe expresses pleasure but is surprised at this special treatment and asks why. "In heaven, we value marital fidelity quite highly. Not only were you never unfaithful to your wife, you never even thought about it. So this limo, complete with a driver, will be at your beck and call for all eternity."
Joe smiles and settles back for the ride. During the trip, he notices that many residents are driving their own cars, and that some cars are new and shiny, while others are old and beaten up. He asks Fred about this. "Those folks were not as steadfast as you. They slipped up, and cheated on their mates. The ones with the nice cars only fell from grace once or twice. The ones with the worse cars did so multiple times." Joe sits back and ponders this. Suddenly, a man wobbles by on a dilapidated bicycle. "What about him?" Joe asks. "He was married six times and committed adultery over two dozen times," Fred responds, tight-lipped. "I don't know how he got in here at all, but God is forgiving."
The limo pulls up to the entrance of a magnificent mansion. "Here we are, your new home for all eternity!" Fred announces. But Joe doesn't reply: he's curled up in a ball, sobbing. "Joe, Joe, what in heaven is the matter?" Fred responds, "I just saw my wife go by...and she was riding a skateboard!"
Rim shot.
There must be volumes of books with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates jokes! Love 'em.
Candy
