News dispatch: July 17, 2020

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was sworn in as 47th President of the United States at 10 AM this morning. She succeeds 46th President Mike Pence, who was in office for less than five minutes.

Donald Trump was arrested and jailed for contempt of Congress at the end of last year. As imprisonment for contempt can continue indefinitely until the offender complies with court/Congressional demands, he was still imprisoned when the impeachment process began. The House voted to impeach, but the Senate refused to proceed. However, in the course of the investigation, evidence of Trump's tax evasion and fraud was uncovered. The IRS served a warrant on Trump in his jail cell and seized all of his assets. On July 15, Trump strangled himself with an improvised noose made from several torn-up MAGA hats.

Vice President Mike Pence became President upon Trump's death and was sworn in the following day. However, immediately after the ceremony was over, Pence began dancing, giggling, and singing, "I'm the Prez! I'm the Prez!" Despite the efforts of the Secret Service, he danced off the podium and plunged into the crowd, where he hit his head and fractured his skull. Efforts to revive him were unsuccessful.

Pelosi's first acts as President were to have all the furniture in the Oval Office burned, the carpet removed, and the walls sandblasted and repainted. She also ordered that the Lincoln bedroom be completely remodeled, as she said "I don't want to touch anything that Trump touched." She removed Trump's portrait from the Presidential portrait gallery and replaced it with a reproduction of Edvard Munch's "The Scream."

Republican Senators warmly welcomed Pelosi and all of them stated that they had never really supported Trump anyway. Sean Hannity committed suicide live on the set of his TV show. Rush Limbaugh simply exploded, injuring several staffers. Also, Vladimir Putin expressed sorrow about Trump's demise, calling him "my poor little idiot" and hinted that he had dirt on Pelosi. Hundreds of thousands of Washington, DC citizens staged a celebratory parade. The stock market gained 3,500 points.

This is the most vile post you ever made. Calling for the death of a sitting president is disgusting!

You are one sick person!

Tom, Kevin is just a sick troll. He is never happy until he insults, berates and spews his hatred to and for others. He is rude, crude and sociably unacceptable - and those are his good points. Trying to engage him in a reasonable conversation is impossible. He wants to control every topic and if you don't agree with his twisted rhetoric he insults you with his vile language. Ignoring him is the best solution. It will enrage him, but he will eventually have no one to respond to his insanity if he is ignored. What a miserable life he must have, and all at his own hand. This forum used to be a platform for idea exchange and respectful discussions. Ever since Kevin has invaded, it has turned it into what we presently have. Look around, very few of the others who used to post here no longer do. This is solely because of Kevin. 

Gee, Stalker, if ignoring me "is the best solution," then why do you keep posting in response to every single thing I say? One of the reasons I despise you (one of the many reasons) is your hypocrisy. PLEASE live up to your holy promise of ignoring everything I say from now on (you won't be able to control yourself, but I thought I'd ask anyway).

Tom's reading skills are awful. I did not "call for" the death of Trump. I wrote a fictional piece depicting it. There's a difference.

When idiot Trumpers object like squealing pigs to something I write, I know I'm on the mark.

Is that on the mark, or are you on Mark?  Did seem like a leftist bromance going on here.