Sunday breakfast at the Gun Love Cafe

You ever visit the zoo when you were a kid? One of my favorite areas was the monkey cage. There, they'd swing around, screeching at each other, throwing things at each other (including their own shit), and generally acting like a cross between the floor of the New York Stock Exchange and a MAGA rally.

(The zookeepers, after many complaints, moved the visitor boundary back some ten yards to beyond shit-flinging range. For whatever reason, the chimps loved to target people with cameras. I considered that an appropriate reaction.)

Today, it was crowded at the Gun Love Cafe. They make a terrific omelet and the coffee flows freely. There were a whole bunch of MAGAs there (at any given time, there are at least some, but maybe the We Hate People Who Aren't White Festival or Shoot All Women Who Have Abortions Festival is in town).

But these MAGAs weren't in agreement with each other at all.

That in itself was very unusual. You get ten thousand of these things in the same room, they'll all chant the same slogans, wave the same signs, drool the same way, etc. But not today. I heard LOUD arguments about guns, liberals, guns, climate change, inflation, guns, soooooocialism, guns, school shootings, abortion, guns, abortion, school shootings, guns, and how to be a manly man. These folks weren't on the same page at all.

No shit was thrown, though, which made the whole thing less entertaining. The kids in tow (MAGAs reproduce) did indeed throw stuff (toast; muffins), but the adults (to the extent that any MAGA can be considered an adult) didn't. And mirabile dictu, not only were no shots fired, no guns were drawn! But lordy, what a lot of yelling.

Is it possible that the MAGA Moron Multitude is disagreeing about stuff like whether the mass slaughter of children is worth our PRESHUS SECOND AMENDMENT FREEDUMBS and whether we should hurl women into prison for getting an abortion? Or was today an aberration?

  Nothing to see here - just another hate filled post.

Sounds like the typical day at the small town diners/taverns I eat at. My favorite is when they talk about the evils of socialism in one breath and then demand Biden do something to keep the oil companies from raising prices in the next.

The most hilarious part was when a couple of rebel MAGAs tried to argue against the "Biden is solely responsible for inflation" memetic bleat. I swear, I thought the other MAGAs were going to kill them. Then yet another apostate tried to say that Putin, not Biden, started the war with Ukraine. That person was beaten senseless with a chair (OK, not really, they just called him an asshole).

But the best one I remember is the clown bloviating about how all the covid restrictions were just liberal nonsense and the pandemic was just a left-wing hoax and the governor ought to be boiled alive for making everyone wear masks and vaccines make you sterile blah blah blah yada yada yada belch grunt snort. He gradually realized that the table next to him, at which a family of six was seated, had grown deathly silent. Then the mom informed him that they had lost a family member to covid. Oopsy!

This experience was such a contrast to the usual breakfast environment of the Trumper pickup truck crowd taking turns standing up and taking out and waving their dicks. They're actually usually kind of jovial about it, though--I guess maybe because no one disagrees. Today, though, they had quite a few blasphemers in the crowd.

I could only reflect on how glad I was that these goobers appeared not to have heeded the exhortation on the sign posted prominently by the entrance encouraging all customers to carry guns. This could have turned into the Not OK MAGA Corral.

I've visited the monkeys at many zoos.  I've never viewed them throwing shit.  Those monkeys throwing shit a Kevin are very intuitive.

Yes, conservitards think it's OK to throw shit at people, and they admire traitors and rapists.

In fact, monkeys, both in captivity and in the wild, regularly commit murder, rape, theft, and assault. The humans who evolved beyond that stage are called liberals. The ones who didn't are called conservatives.