Three Men Are Sitting In A Bar...

The first man says, "I believe I have the smallest hands in the world."

The second man says, "I believe I have the smallest feet in the world."

The third man says, "I believe I have the smallest p*n*s in the world."

The bartender says, "You know, you can find out for sure, and maybe even get paid for it."

"Really? How?"

"The Guinness Book of World Records keeps track of all kinds of stuff. Biggest, smallest, fastest, slowest, oldest, youngest, and so forth. And they might pay you $3000 if you hold the record."

"Great idea! Let's go!"

So they all troupe off to the office of the Guinness Book of World Records.

The first man goes in. He's there for a few minutes, then he comes out with a big grin and a fistful of cash. "I have the smallest hands in the world!"

The second man goes in. He's there for a few minutes, then he comes out with a big grin and a fistful of cash. "I have the smallest feet in the world!"

The third man goes in. He's there for more than a few minutes. When he comes out he's angry. He's kicking the furniture, punching the walls, cursing a blue streak.

"What's the matter? What's wrong?" ask his friends?

"Who the f*ck is Lindsey Graham?"

If there's a category for "stupidest President in history," Trump could pick up another three grand to help build his wall.

What did the elephant say to Donald Trump?

How do you breathe through that tiny thing?

At least he's the bestest at something eh?? lol.

If Trump really wanted Hillary to be locked up...

He should have hired her!

Well darn, I thought this was going to be a good joke thread.  I have one, but it ain't any kind of political, so, nevermind.

Doesn't have to be. When you're talking about bigly and tiny body parts, the Orange One naturally comes to mind. As when you're speaking in hyperbole.

Feel free to make any observations you wish.

Fred is in a terrible accident.  Among his injuries is a badly mangled penis.   The surgical team does their best to repair it but can only save a small stub, just enough to pee through. 

Later Fred consults with a plastic surgeon, hoping something can be done.  The plastic surgeon tells Fred he can reconstruct the penis but it will cost $1000 per inch of lengthening.  Fred said "That is a lot of money. I'll have to ask my wife about it."  The surgeon advises Fred to go home, discuss the cost with his wife, how many inches is affordable, and let him know of their decision.

The next week Fred returns to the clinic.  The surgeon asks Fred, "So what did your wife say?"

Fred replied, "She said we are getting new kitchen cabinets."

And the ironic thing is, most men, if consulted, would incorrectly surmise that the plastic surgery would be a higher priority for their wives.

Perhaps if the plastic surgeon offered a designer colors option?

Here is a non-political joke for Candy. 

A priest, a doctor and a lawyer are at an elementary school attending a play when a fire breaks out. The trio are about to rush towards the exit when the doctor asks, "What about the Children?"

The lawyer replies "*uck the children!"

With a gleeful look in his eye, the priest asks, "Do you think we will have time?"