"They have lots of water there. We need water. I think it's frozen. But that doesn't matter. Frozen water is good. I think it's called "ice." They use ice in the Winter Olympics, Not many people know that. That's why I won the Olympics. I used ice. We need Antarctica. It's big. And it's melting. That's what they say. It's melting. All that water. Melting. And it winds up in the ocean. We have to stop that. It drowns the fish. And those penguins. Who do they think they are? Waddling around like that. I had sex with one and she smelled like fish. At least I think it was a she. We need to get Antarctica before China does. It has lots of water. The frozen kind. And they say it's melting. I'm the only one who can fix it."
Followed by five minutes of thunderous applause.
