Trump orders hit on Romney

Continuing his focus on the most important issue---taking revenge---Donald Trump ordered Jared Kushner to "get rid of Romney. Shoot him like he's a Mexican."

Unfortunately, Kushner failed in his mission, because he thought Utah is spelled "Youtah" and couldn't find it on a map.

Undaunted, Trump just announced that he was canceling plans to send a hospital ship to Salt Lake City. "That'll show that snake Romney" he said.

He also remarked, "Utah is full of Muslims and I have a feeling they've got a lot of Chinese people, too."

A staffer tried to show Trump on a map that a Navy ship could not, in fact, reach Utah, but was immediately fired and is now in federal prison.

Sean Hannity is now referring to "The liberal Utah hoax." 

And the sickness continues...

You both really need help. 

Both of you need to go to, like, Vienna or something. You both need to get involved at the university level, like where Freud studied, and have all those people looking at you and checking up on you.  You need a team. A team of psychiatrists working around the clock, because that's the only way either of you will get better.  -- Seinfeld [lightly edited for context]

Don't be like David Miller and plagiarize what other people have said.