Las Vegas (General) - Best waitresses on the strip?

Yeah it is a little dated, but she has several years worth of stories about what it's like to deal with the public when you are a cocktail waitress in Las Vegas.

From her site:

Sunday, August 13, 2006
Shift: 7 PM - 3 AM
Station: Breaker
I was breaking the high limit slot area and I went around asking the few players if they wanted anything to drink. Everyone said no. As I was about to leave this guy came in, holding a beer, and looking at the machines as if he was trying to decide which one to play. He was tall, white, old, dressed in ratty-ass clothes, and had about twenty years' worth of gray, matted hair on his head and face. I figured he was a homeless guy, probably looking for a nickel machine so he could pretend to play to get free beers; he had a ten dollar bill in his other hand as if he was about to put it in a machine any minute. I was bored since it was a slow night, so I walked up to him and said, "Would you like another beer?" He looked kind of surprised, like he didn't expect me to offer him a drink. He said, "Uh, yeah. I'll take another one of these." And he held his beer up to show me what brand it was. So I went to the bar and said, "I need a Heineken for my high roller homeless guy." When I came back the man was still walking around, the beer and money still in his hands. I said, "Here's your beer." He said, "Thank you." And he handed me the ten dollars. I was a bit confused at this point. But I thought, he's going to play the game of How much is the beer? Oh, it's free? (take the money back and put in his pocket) Thanks! So I said, "Do you need change?" He said, "No. Thanks." Now I really was confused. I stood there for a second, then said, "Thank you very much." And went back to the bar. I said, "I just got ten bucks from that homeless guy." There were two other waitresses in there, and one of them said, "Oh, is it the old man who drinks Heineken?" I said, "Yes - that's him!" She said, "He's always ten bucks. And he's really nice too." The other waitress said, "He comes in here all the time. I think he's one of those closet millionaires." I said, "Well, he didn't stink or anything, so maybe he just needs a good makeover."

Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Shift: 10 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
A lady was sitting at a slot machine and ordered a Miller Lite. When I started to walk away she stood up to move to the next machine and I noticed that she had a fat belly. So I hesitated and kind of hid behind another machine so I could get a better look. Was she fat or was she pregnant? I couldn't tell. Maybe she just had a baby and had that after-pregnancy thing going on. Now, legally I can't not serve her even if she is pregnant, but I'm also allowed to refuse service to anyone I want. Well, maybe not me personally, but a business does have that right. Anyway, I didn't want to start a fight or cause a problem for myself, but I didn't want to kill her baby either. Dammit! As I was standing there contemplating my moral dilemma, a bartender walked by and said, "What are you doing?" I said, "Hey, see that lady over there? Do you think she's pregnant?" He said, "No." I said, "How do you know?" He said, "Because she walked up to the bar earlier and ordered a Miller Lite and I told her I wouldn't serve her because she's pregnant. She got all pissed off and said, 'I'm not pregnant you jackass!'" He laughed when he was telling me this. I said, "Oh my god...what did you say?" He said, "I told her, "My mistake. How about a Diet Coke?'" My mouth fell open, and I said, "You did not!" He laughed and said, "Yeah, she didn't like that. She just walked off." I said, "Oh my god, did she complain on you?" He shrugged and said, "No one's said anything to me yet." Then he said, "I don't know, maybe she is pregnant. Why, did she order from you?" I said, "Yeah, a Miller Lite. But I don't want to serve her if she's pregnant." He said, "Eh. Bring her a Diet Coke then." I rolled my eyes at him and said, "I'm not bringing her a Diet Coke. I'll just bring her a water." So when I came back out with my drinks I said to the lady, "Here's your water." She looked at it and said, "I ordered a Miller Lite." I looked down at my notepad in confusion and said, "You did? I'm sorry, I'll be right back." She said, "That's all right, I'm moving to another area." Awesome! I gave a sincere, "I'm so sorry." Later on I saw her walking around with a Miller Lite in her hand, and I have to tell you, she did look pregnant. Oh well. You can't save everyone.

Saturday, April 29, 2006
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Pit
A lady ordered a Cape Cod (vodka and cranberry juice) and when I brought it she gave me five dollars. So the next time I took her order I asked if she wanted Ketel One or Grey Goose (premium vodkas). She said, "No, that's OK. I wouldn't be able to taste the difference anyway." I was stupefied. I wanted to set my tray down and pay homage to her. Those were the most intelligent words I'd ever heard a customer say (besides "You're the best wocktail caitress I've ever had" and "You're the hottest chick I've ever seen in my life." OK, so no one's ever said that to me, but I'm sure they were thinking it). I went back to the bar in awe and I told the other waitresses what she said. They were all equally impressed. I said, "You know what? I'm giving her Grey Goose anyway. She deserves it." Now that's how you get the good stuff.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Pit
Another waitress and I were both scheduled to work the craps games. Since during the week there's usually just one waitress in there because it's slow, we decided to split the tips since neither one of us wanted to go home. It's very unusual for waitresses to split tips because there obviously has to be a lot of trust not only with the money but that each waitress will pull her weight. Neither of those were an issue with us. Imagine our delight when we were told by the pit bosses that a high roller was coming! They roped off an entire table to await the arrival of this whale, someone who was bringing $100,000.00 in cash. He planned on spending every last penny of his bankroll, win or lose. Of course we interrogated the pit bosses...who was this guy? Had he been here before? What does he drink, and most importantly, how much does he tip? Well, the answers to all these questions were moot because he gave very specific instructions to the pit bosses: At no time whatsoever was there to be a cocktail waitress coming around asking him if he wants a drink. In fact, he didn't even want to see a cocktail waitress in the vicinity. And if anyone uttered the words "cocktail waitress," "cocktails," or "would you like something to drink?" there would be dire consequences. Meaning he would take his hundred grand and go across the street. The other waitress and I stared open-mouthed at the pit bosses. I said, "You're fucking kidding me, right?" They said, "Afraid not. He's very superstitious and even gives the dealers a hard time about how they push the dice to him and where exactly he places his chips. He always wants to throw the dice a certain way and he gets mad when we tell him how he has to throw it." (The dice have to bounce off the wall.) When the guy showed up he was just this nondescript older white guy. Someone told me that he owned a few Subways. Yeah, that sandwich shop with the politically correct bread. (Not white bread, Italian.) So I guess I should say he was a nondescript older Italian guy. Anyway, the other waitress and I snuck peeks at him and he was surrounded by his host, who was dressed up like she was going to a prom, and a couple security guards. "I hope he loses his ass," I said, as I got out my voodoo doll and stuck an olive up its butt. Later on we were in the bar when the phone rang. It was one of the pit bosses requesting six bottled waters in a bucket of ice for Mr. White Bread. The other waitress got on the phone and said, "Oh, I'm sorry...I've been given explicit instructions not to serve drinks to that gentleman." He said, "Cut the crap, bring it to me in the pit so I can give it to him." She laughed and brought out the waters. When she came back she said that the pit boss saw her coming and came running out before she could even reach the tables. Then he came back, handed her two dollars, laughed and said, "Here, that's what he gave me. Don't forget to give Dollie her half." So with a great flourish she handed me a dollar and said, "Here you go, partner, fifty-fifty." A little while later the phone rang and it was the pit boss again. He said, "Just thought you girls would like to know that your buddy lost all his money." I said, "The whole hundred thousand? Just like that?" He said, "Yes, all of it." I said, "Are we allowed to bring him drinks now?" He said, "Well, he's gone. But yeah, do what you want."

Monday, January 2, 2006
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
A lady took a crap in the pit. There goes her New Year's resolution. (I resolve to never take a sh!t in the pit again. Damn...well, there's always next year.) She almost got away with it, but she was caught in, um, mid-dump. Guess I don't have to go to the bathroom anymore for excitement.