The most drastic solution to baggage fees

First of all, I have forsworn air travel for all time. If I go to Hawaii, it'll be on a boat. I'm tired of getting ripped off. But for the rest of you, I have a very Vegas solution:

 

Pack a bunch of clothes you don't want but still fit--Goodwill material--into a cardboard box. Include underwear and such. Send the box via UPS Slow Boat to China or whatever the cheap cheap cheapest option is, and make the delivery option "will call," addressed to you, of course.

 

Fly on Alarmingly Discounted Airlines, where the captain winds up the engines with a giant key before takeoff and releases a chicken from the cockpit to determine windspeed and the seats were designed by Nazi torturers. Pack your toiletries in a "personal item" bag. Take a sedative that will wear off just as you're landing.

 

When you reach Vegas (if the timing's right), you can divert your taxi or OOber by the local UPS office. There are several choices to send it to, including one right near the airport. Grab your box of bum duds.

 

At hotel check-in, you'll be standing there with a cardboard box and a big smile. Wear each item of clothing in turn as your vacation days go by and then throw it in the trash. Preserve your original clothing for the flight home.

 

You'll feel like you look like some kind of drunken bum, but as you walk around, it'll dawn on you that you're still better dressed than most of the people around you. And if you have the need to get gussied up, you can switch back to the clothes you wore on the plane.

Originally posted by: Kevin Lewis

First of all, I have forsworn air travel for all time. If I go to Hawaii, it'll be on a boat. I'm tired of getting ripped off. But for the rest of you, I have a very Vegas solution:

 

Pack a bunch of clothes you don't want but still fit--Goodwill material--into a cardboard box. Include underwear and such. Send the box via UPS Slow Boat to China or whatever the cheap cheap cheapest option is, and make the delivery option "will call," addressed to you, of course.

 

Fly on Alarmingly Discounted Airlines, where the captain winds up the engines with a giant key before takeoff and releases a chicken from the cockpit to determine windspeed and the seats were designed by Nazi torturers. Pack your toiletries in a "personal item" bag. Take a sedative that will wear off just as you're landing.

 

When you reach Vegas (if the timing's right), you can divert your taxi or OOber by the local UPS office. There are several choices to send it to, including one right near the airport. Grab your box of bum duds.

 

At hotel check-in, you'll be standing there with a cardboard box and a big smile. Wear each item of clothing in turn as your vacation days go by and then throw it in the trash. Preserve your original clothing for the flight home.

 

You'll feel like you look like some kind of drunken bum, but as you walk around, it'll dawn on you that you're still better dressed than most of the people around you. And if you have the need to get gussied up, you can switch back to the clothes you wore on the plane.


  Or, you could just fly Southwest   - first 2 bags fly free, no change fees, no cancellation fees, if you cancel your flight the money you spent for your ticket is available to use for 1 year. Southwest also flys to Hawaii. I have flown Southwest for over 30 years and have found them to be reliabe, safe and reasonably priced. 

USPS works better. Just have the package mailed to your hotel in a flat rate priority box. That way instead of looking like a vagrant with a cardboard box, you look like a VIP when the clerk says, "Sir, I have a priority package for you."

 

If you want to go with just a personal item:

 

Wear a jacket with those large interior pockets and then things like a hoodie with a big front pocket and cargo shorts with pockets.  Overstuff your personal item to make it easier to get your things through security.  In the gate area move the stuff out of your personal item and into your pockets until you get your personal item down to the size it fits into the sizer at the gate. Finally, when you get on the plane take the stuff out of your pockets and overstuff your personal item again. My backpack works great it can be overstuffed to twice the size that will fit in the sizer.

 

Having a bunch of gallon ziplock bags really helps.

 

David Southwest isn't competitive in a lot of markets anymore. For example, The Southwest fares I looked at out of Louisville had layovers and some of them had multiple stops. And for the privilege of paying $500 to $600 for a Southwest round trip what is a four hour trip to Vegas via a direct flight turns into a 6 to 9 hour flight. The only market Southwest was truly competitive within 250 miles of me was St. Louis. Delta beat them in a lot of those markets.

Edited on Oct 5, 2022 3:11pm

David: Yes, Southwest is a good choice, but it really only has usable availability from West Coast hub cities. Otherwise, there are stopovers and layovers and fares are no bargain. But yeah, if I was flying from, say, Portland, Southwest would work.

 

Mark: The only troubles with USPS are: 1. Even the largest Priority Mail box isn't very big, and 2. I've had hotels refuse a package--"he's not a guest at this hotel"--when it arrived before I did. But yeah, good alternative.


You can also look for places that have washer/dryer in unit.    This allows you to pack smaller - especially for extended vacations.

 

I frequently stay at timeshare properties which have this feature.   Many Air-Bnb's do as well.    They even give you free detergent to use.

I just like the idea of one small personal bag and no suitcases. If you go someplace with a washer and dryer, you still have to have two or three changes of clothes with you.

 

Some bohemian European traveler types say they just have two or three outfits and launder them in the hotel sink. But for the life of me, when I do that, I can never get anything to dry out in time.

I've spent a few weeks out of the country the last couple of years, and here's what I do. Carry-on + personal size bag + sink + warm water + shampoo + drip-dry in the shower. I'd rather spend a few minutes washing my own clothes than waiting at the luggage carousel, that is assuming my bags actually show up. And I've done this at a luxury resort and at a Ritz Carlton and at fleabag motels - it works everywhere! Some of the most popular European guided tours will not even allow you to bring checked baggage, which is a good thing.

 

At the moment I get free checked bags from Delta and United, and you know what? I still don't bring full-sized bags.

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