It’s our final full day in Vegas and truthfully, we’ve been here long enough. We miss the kids (who are in Fort Collins, CO with grandma), are tired of gambling, sick of buffets; even the endless bottles of Mich Ultra are losing their luster.
We have no plans left on the itinerary save a nice Italian dinner, top of the Palms, at Nove, and maybe Penn and Teller who we’ve always wanted to see.
That gives us the whole day to fart around before dinner and a show.
I notice, flipping through my MRB, a forgotten $10 FP coupon at the El Cortez. That did it. We made a last minute decision to shoot back downtown again for one last hurrah.
A brisk morning walk over to Rio for breakfast ($15 after coupon) and a quick stop at the box office for P & T tickets.
My jaw drops when I hear one ticket costs $118. Forget it.
Instead, we pay $14 for round trip bus fare and hop the SDX at Wynn.
Gawd it was the hottest, most crowded, most miserable ride downtown EVER. Mr. T had to stand next to a bunch of sweaty tourists while I grabbed the last available seat - very back of the bus - next to a crazy homeless woman wearing a black turtleneck of all things. She starts rambling incoherently and blowing sour belches in my right ear.
I had an ice cold water bottle with me that I bought off some bum on a bridge and instead of drinking it, kept pouring it over my head. I vowed to myself it was the last time we’d take the hot, stinky, SDX.
Granted, The Deuce makes more frequent stops; however, you always get a seat and it’s AIR CONDITIONED. This miserable excuse for transportation packs people in like sardines, plods along slowly, and drags you several blocks off course before getting you back to Las Vegas Blvd. It was awful - just awful.
I could take it no more and was about to start babbling in unison with my toothless new friend when we finally made it to the Fremont Street Experience.
We’ll were here now...let’s make the best of it. I wipe the sweat off my brow, straighten my fanny back, flex my muscles, whiff my pits (whew - the 7/11 deodorant is working good) and off we go.
First stop: The El Co where I immediately redeem my $10 FP which I use on this progressive JOB VP machine. The first line you get 2x bet, win that go up to 4x bet, win that 8x bet and so on. We do alright playing this together, cashing out after a good long while with ten bucks and four beers (ok, so they’ve still got a bit of luster to them).
Next stop, The D and Golden Nugget where we are new card sign ups. $3 FP each at the former and $5 FP at the latter. We leave both joints no worse for wear, up $10 in cash and two more beers.
We decide to try the “earn 5 points” promo at Binion’s again.
We choose some spin poker, short pay, VP machines which I’m not crazy about.
I’m getting more disgusted by the minute, winning nothing, but am thankful for the overzealous drink girl who keeps brining us more drinks than we can swig.
I cash out and head over to one of my guilty pleasures: The Wizard of Oz, and start playing 30 coins at 3x bet.
When it’s all said and done, we’ve lost $25 bucks between the two of us, but hey, we’ve got the lousy 5 points on our cards and eagerly walk up to the kiosk for our swipes.
Prizes range here from $10 to $50 in free play along with the usual food credits, “free gift” at the slot club, etc.
It’s here we discover, after much anticipation, that we’ve earned two free draft beers at the bar. Are you kidding me? This place sucks!
Because of the excellent drink service we’ve received, I’ve got two full bottles of Mich Ultra. I’m holding one in my hand - the second one my lips are puckered around, I’m staring at this coupon in my other hand thinking, ‘What am I going to do with a free Miller lite tap?’ Ug.
Yes, I’m from Milwaukee and should be thrilled, but Miller Lite gives me a headache so I rarely drink it...unless I’m at my cousin’s dairy farm and we’re all standing around his bonfire, and you have no choice cause you’re in the middle of Wisconsin and that’s all there is. In that case, your favorite beer is an open one, and you do what you must.
But enough of that. I’m in Vegas now, this double sucks, and I’m sure people are staring at me in front of the kiosk wondering if I’m from the midwest.
I decide it’s time to leave Binions, twenty five bucks in the hole, crumpled up beer coupon in hand, when suddenly nature calls. I wander to the back of the casino where the restrooms are located and notice on my way out they’re having a huge T-shirt sale.
I peruse the racks of $5 t-shirts but nothing really catches my eye until I spy a single line VP machine hidden back there in the bowels of the casino.
We check the pay table, it’s a 9/6 JOB. The only thing keeping this baby from being “full pay” is the Royal payout which is 2500 not 4000.
I plunk down, throw in a hundred, and start hammering away on this old, blurry relic that has definitely seen better days.
To my amazement I'm dealt three deuces.
I hold all three plus my breath and hit “draw”. Bam. 4OAK. Woot-woot.
Shortly thereafter, I cash out with a $50 profit which puts us UP $25 bucks at this joint.
There wasn’t a drink girl in sight the entire time we were playing on the old, rusty VP machine so our free tap beer coupons are starting to look pretty good at this point. We lumber up to the bar, and a very friendly bartender tells us we can actually get Miller OR Fosters. Hmmm...I’m game for something new. We try the Fosters. It’s very smooth. Score!
I’m all happy again, and trot out of Binions +$25 and 8 free beers. This place ain’t so bad after all....
We make a quick pit stop at the Fremont Casino where I’ve never been. I get a wild hair up my ass for a $.99 margarita which is delicious, then go and play some more single line FP JOB with Mr. T.
We get two more beers to boot and cash out +$5.
It’s late afternoon and we decide to head back to the El Co. We’ve decided on The Flame for dinner and buy in for some 25 cent roulette while we wait for the restaurant to open.
Here he is, Big T, wearing his $50 Hard Rock T-shirt at the El Co, and showing off his big stack of 25 cent chips. That's one cool cat right there.
Met some fun table friends and guzzled a couple more free beers. Around 6:30 we decide to go get seated. They ask us if we have reservations. Nope. They tell us it will be a one hour wait and to come back later. Really? Wow - on a Tuesday night? Place didn’t even look that full. Ok, no problem, we go back to the roulette table for another hour while we wait.
Our table is finally ready at 7:30. I’m a little too drunk to enjoy it thoroughly, but from what I remember the filet was great. Our side items were mushrooms and mashed potatoes. Big T ordered a strip steak and loved his. Service was not as good as usual. Our waitress ignored us except to get our order and bring us our check. We never had our water glasses refilled, and since this is all we were drinking, that was a bit annoying. Someone else brought us our bread and delivered food. She never checked back, asked how things were, nothing. I did hear her chatting up the table next to us and saying how she’d been there 12 years now. Wouldn’t know by the lackluster service she provided. She also said that because they’ve been so slow they’re going to start closing on Mondays and Tuesdays. It didn’t add up...after all we were put on a one hour wait...on a TUESDAY night. Go figure.
The bill was $32 after coupon. Nice deal as always, and since the waitress was good not great, our tip was good - not great. I remember last time we were there we left $50 on the thirty something tab as we had excellent service to compliment the delicious food. Not so much this time round, but still respectable. Four Forks.
After dinner, we were shot, and hopped the Deuce back to the strip. I enjoyed our spacious air conditioned seats on the upper deck and before you know it, we were being dropped off at Bellagio.
Our final totals for the week ended with +$37 gambling and +114 beers.
We spent $510 on roundtrip airfare and seven nights hotel; another $450 on food/tips/shows/cabs/souvenirs.
If you plan well, commit to the coupons, and are disciplined, it’s a great place to have a lot of fun on a little budget. It may not be for everyone, but we try our hardest to “even the odds” lowly little low rollers that we are.
The sun has now set on Vegas and our trip. We crossed the bridge over Las Vegas Blvd for the last time, and as we’re coming down the escalators at Bill’s I see a circle of cops and camera guys. They must have been getting ready to film a show I suppose. I said hello and they all started talking to me. Very friendly!
At one point the two camera men asked me, “Which of us do you think has a bigger camera?”
I pointed at one and said, “Well, his IS bigger, but that doesn’t mean it’s better.”
They got a good laugh, high fived me, and took my picture with one of the cops.
What a great way to finish the week out in Vegas!
The End
~Paige
We have no plans left on the itinerary save a nice Italian dinner, top of the Palms, at Nove, and maybe Penn and Teller who we’ve always wanted to see.
That gives us the whole day to fart around before dinner and a show.
I notice, flipping through my MRB, a forgotten $10 FP coupon at the El Cortez. That did it. We made a last minute decision to shoot back downtown again for one last hurrah.
A brisk morning walk over to Rio for breakfast ($15 after coupon) and a quick stop at the box office for P & T tickets.
My jaw drops when I hear one ticket costs $118. Forget it.
Instead, we pay $14 for round trip bus fare and hop the SDX at Wynn.
Gawd it was the hottest, most crowded, most miserable ride downtown EVER. Mr. T had to stand next to a bunch of sweaty tourists while I grabbed the last available seat - very back of the bus - next to a crazy homeless woman wearing a black turtleneck of all things. She starts rambling incoherently and blowing sour belches in my right ear.
I had an ice cold water bottle with me that I bought off some bum on a bridge and instead of drinking it, kept pouring it over my head. I vowed to myself it was the last time we’d take the hot, stinky, SDX.
Granted, The Deuce makes more frequent stops; however, you always get a seat and it’s AIR CONDITIONED. This miserable excuse for transportation packs people in like sardines, plods along slowly, and drags you several blocks off course before getting you back to Las Vegas Blvd. It was awful - just awful.
I could take it no more and was about to start babbling in unison with my toothless new friend when we finally made it to the Fremont Street Experience.
We’ll were here now...let’s make the best of it. I wipe the sweat off my brow, straighten my fanny back, flex my muscles, whiff my pits (whew - the 7/11 deodorant is working good) and off we go.
First stop: The El Co where I immediately redeem my $10 FP which I use on this progressive JOB VP machine. The first line you get 2x bet, win that go up to 4x bet, win that 8x bet and so on. We do alright playing this together, cashing out after a good long while with ten bucks and four beers (ok, so they’ve still got a bit of luster to them).
Next stop, The D and Golden Nugget where we are new card sign ups. $3 FP each at the former and $5 FP at the latter. We leave both joints no worse for wear, up $10 in cash and two more beers.
We decide to try the “earn 5 points” promo at Binion’s again.
We choose some spin poker, short pay, VP machines which I’m not crazy about.
I’m getting more disgusted by the minute, winning nothing, but am thankful for the overzealous drink girl who keeps brining us more drinks than we can swig.
I cash out and head over to one of my guilty pleasures: The Wizard of Oz, and start playing 30 coins at 3x bet.
When it’s all said and done, we’ve lost $25 bucks between the two of us, but hey, we’ve got the lousy 5 points on our cards and eagerly walk up to the kiosk for our swipes.
Prizes range here from $10 to $50 in free play along with the usual food credits, “free gift” at the slot club, etc.
It’s here we discover, after much anticipation, that we’ve earned two free draft beers at the bar. Are you kidding me? This place sucks!
Because of the excellent drink service we’ve received, I’ve got two full bottles of Mich Ultra. I’m holding one in my hand - the second one my lips are puckered around, I’m staring at this coupon in my other hand thinking, ‘What am I going to do with a free Miller lite tap?’ Ug.
Yes, I’m from Milwaukee and should be thrilled, but Miller Lite gives me a headache so I rarely drink it...unless I’m at my cousin’s dairy farm and we’re all standing around his bonfire, and you have no choice cause you’re in the middle of Wisconsin and that’s all there is. In that case, your favorite beer is an open one, and you do what you must.
But enough of that. I’m in Vegas now, this double sucks, and I’m sure people are staring at me in front of the kiosk wondering if I’m from the midwest.
I decide it’s time to leave Binions, twenty five bucks in the hole, crumpled up beer coupon in hand, when suddenly nature calls. I wander to the back of the casino where the restrooms are located and notice on my way out they’re having a huge T-shirt sale.
I peruse the racks of $5 t-shirts but nothing really catches my eye until I spy a single line VP machine hidden back there in the bowels of the casino.
We check the pay table, it’s a 9/6 JOB. The only thing keeping this baby from being “full pay” is the Royal payout which is 2500 not 4000.
I plunk down, throw in a hundred, and start hammering away on this old, blurry relic that has definitely seen better days.
To my amazement I'm dealt three deuces.
I hold all three plus my breath and hit “draw”. Bam. 4OAK. Woot-woot.
Shortly thereafter, I cash out with a $50 profit which puts us UP $25 bucks at this joint.
There wasn’t a drink girl in sight the entire time we were playing on the old, rusty VP machine so our free tap beer coupons are starting to look pretty good at this point. We lumber up to the bar, and a very friendly bartender tells us we can actually get Miller OR Fosters. Hmmm...I’m game for something new. We try the Fosters. It’s very smooth. Score!
I’m all happy again, and trot out of Binions +$25 and 8 free beers. This place ain’t so bad after all....
We make a quick pit stop at the Fremont Casino where I’ve never been. I get a wild hair up my ass for a $.99 margarita which is delicious, then go and play some more single line FP JOB with Mr. T.
We get two more beers to boot and cash out +$5.
It’s late afternoon and we decide to head back to the El Co. We’ve decided on The Flame for dinner and buy in for some 25 cent roulette while we wait for the restaurant to open.
Here he is, Big T, wearing his $50 Hard Rock T-shirt at the El Co, and showing off his big stack of 25 cent chips. That's one cool cat right there.
Met some fun table friends and guzzled a couple more free beers. Around 6:30 we decide to go get seated. They ask us if we have reservations. Nope. They tell us it will be a one hour wait and to come back later. Really? Wow - on a Tuesday night? Place didn’t even look that full. Ok, no problem, we go back to the roulette table for another hour while we wait.
Our table is finally ready at 7:30. I’m a little too drunk to enjoy it thoroughly, but from what I remember the filet was great. Our side items were mushrooms and mashed potatoes. Big T ordered a strip steak and loved his. Service was not as good as usual. Our waitress ignored us except to get our order and bring us our check. We never had our water glasses refilled, and since this is all we were drinking, that was a bit annoying. Someone else brought us our bread and delivered food. She never checked back, asked how things were, nothing. I did hear her chatting up the table next to us and saying how she’d been there 12 years now. Wouldn’t know by the lackluster service she provided. She also said that because they’ve been so slow they’re going to start closing on Mondays and Tuesdays. It didn’t add up...after all we were put on a one hour wait...on a TUESDAY night. Go figure.
The bill was $32 after coupon. Nice deal as always, and since the waitress was good not great, our tip was good - not great. I remember last time we were there we left $50 on the thirty something tab as we had excellent service to compliment the delicious food. Not so much this time round, but still respectable. Four Forks.
After dinner, we were shot, and hopped the Deuce back to the strip. I enjoyed our spacious air conditioned seats on the upper deck and before you know it, we were being dropped off at Bellagio.
Our final totals for the week ended with +$37 gambling and +114 beers.
We spent $510 on roundtrip airfare and seven nights hotel; another $450 on food/tips/shows/cabs/souvenirs.
If you plan well, commit to the coupons, and are disciplined, it’s a great place to have a lot of fun on a little budget. It may not be for everyone, but we try our hardest to “even the odds” lowly little low rollers that we are.
The sun has now set on Vegas and our trip. We crossed the bridge over Las Vegas Blvd for the last time, and as we’re coming down the escalators at Bill’s I see a circle of cops and camera guys. They must have been getting ready to film a show I suppose. I said hello and they all started talking to me. Very friendly!
At one point the two camera men asked me, “Which of us do you think has a bigger camera?”
I pointed at one and said, “Well, his IS bigger, but that doesn’t mean it’s better.”
They got a good laugh, high fived me, and took my picture with one of the cops.
What a great way to finish the week out in Vegas!
The End
~Paige
