Bingo is serious business

LAKE WALES, Florida (AP) -- Police have arrested an 82-year-old Lake Wales man for slashing a woman's tires because he claimed she was sitting in his favorite bingo seat.

Fred Smith was charged with criminal mischief last Monday when police say he took an ice pick to 88-year-old Ethel Britt's van during a weekly bingo game at the Lake Ashton Retirement Community Club House.

Fred and Ethel have always been at each other's throats. Those Crazy Mertzes.

Tough business.

I wonder where Ethel will sit next bingo session...

Uh-oh. Fred's gonna be sorry because, now, Ethel's pissed.

Oh shit, I didn't even notice it was Fred and Ethel. Fred was always a grumpy jerk.

Only because Ethel always needled Fred about being a tight wad.

Fred, took to strong drink. and couldn't perform. Ethel an full blossomed female within her sexual peak window. Red blooded virile males wanting to play. I would have poked it. I wonder if She and Lucy ever flipped flopped together. I may be all wrong about this.

Fred was like 20 years older than Ethel.

Someone's taking to "strong drink", Cjen.