I do not like people who cheat, and I do not like it when people who cheat are celebrated for their tainted accomplishments. I did not like it when Lance Armstrong cheated in that bike race thingy they do in France. I did not like it when Theo Huxtable cheated on his history exam on that one episode of Cosby. I did not like it when Ben Johnson cheated in the Olympics. And I did not like it when Bernie Madoff cheated Charlie Sheen out of all that money. I didn't even like it when Jack Tripper would cheat on his girlfriends, though the results were always hilarious.
I understand that not liking cheaters makes me a "whiner", and yet I continue to embrace all of the above judgements. Thus, I feel obligated to embrace my inner whiner. The following is a list of things that, in addition to the New England Patriots, I do not like.
paper cuts
cat urine
that band, "Bad Company"
tiny food on big plates
alarm clocks
6:5 blackjack
cauliflower
hashtags
spiders
those crumbs at the bottom of the cereal box
low flow toilets
car salesmen
chapstick
American Idol
circus peanuts
drain hair
Golly, being a whiner sure is fun. Thanks for creating this space just for me!
