Dad,
I would like to apologize for all of the heartache I caused you growing up, the missed curfews, the shenanigans, putting salt in your fresh-water aquarium, the time you came home early and found my BF and I doing the dirty thing on your Lazy Boy and on and on.
I realize now how much anguish I caused you as a kid and now understand the beatings and mental anguish you caused me were in my best interest. If and when I have children, I will raise them the same way you raised me.
I apologize and I love you dad no matter how crazy everyone else thinks you are.