From Those Wonderful Folks Who . . .

. . . Produced The Internets . . .

The Defense Advanced Research Agency (DARPA) has published a request for proposals on how to design software than can evolve for a century. The program is known as BRASS—Building Resource Adaptive Software Systems.

"Since DARPA is a military agency, we should consider the applications of an adapting program in that light. Malware that can infect and spread in a foreign country’s networks, adapting to every new change and scooping up data, undetected for an entire century—as governments rise and fall, as revolutions take place—would no doubt be a boon for generations of spies.
A program that can scan and automatically adapt to its virtual and physical environment would be continually updating its security measures to address every new threat. 'Shapeshifting' software that can detect vulnerabilities and divert resources to protect them against attack . . ."

Ref: motherboard

Wait a minute! WAIT A MINUTE !

"Adaptive software" ?

" 'Shapeshifting' software that can protect itself" ?

Haven't these guys heard of "SkyNet" ?




Well, . . . in any case, . . . poor old DonDiego would like to go on record, . . . permanent record since this missive is already on the internets and, therefore, saved on some massive Government server by now, . . . that he, for one, welcomes the new titanium masters of the world and pledges to serve them in whatever humble manner they choose to employ him.

[DonDiego suggests the interested reader likewise pledge his allegiance, . . . or face the prospect of becoming an organic battery powering the new metallic civilization.]

I thought this was going to be about Al Gore.

By the time you've read about it on the Internet, it's too late. You've already been assimilated.

Unless poor old DonDiego is mistaken, . . . that is Number Two. Although it's not so difficult to tell them apart.

The collective is already aware of your traitorous thoughts despite the your fraternizing words to the contrary so conveniently posted above. What do you think all those anal probes were for?

Welcome to the "Borg".

Hmm, . . . "anal probes", . . . "Number Two", . . .
DonDiego begins to see a connection.

Oh, that reminds DonDiego he learned something [else] last week. The NASA mission to Uranus has been christened the "Herschel Orbital Reconnaissance of the Uranian System" (HORUS), . . . specifically to avoid calling it "Uranus Probe (UP)"

Launched from Earth, that probe’s gonna have to travel across much of the known solar system to reach Uranus. I think they should have named it Uranus Probe - Across Solar System (UP-ASS).

"Resistance is futile."

"I'll be back"

I can't wait for them to get their robot hands on baseball. The human umpires suck.