Quote
Originally posted by: friedmush
You would be the laughing stock of Heaven if you jumped off the Bay Bridge.
Originally posted by: friedmush
You would be the laughing stock of Heaven if you jumped off the Bay Bridge.
Um, mush, I think jumpers generally end up going to that OTHER place. You know, the Un-heaven.
But not if they’ve purchased my 4-Star (Bay Bridge) or 5-Star (Golden Gate) jumper’s junket, which includes airfare from anywhere in the world, a gourmet final meal, complimentary one-way limo to the bridge, and GUARANTEED ADMISSION to the big concert in the sky.
Of course, I can’t really guarantee anything but once they’ve made the leap, what are they gonna do? Come back and sue me?
OK, what if they’re looking to take the dive but they’re a little short on cash? No problem! What better time to take advantage of their home equity! They simply sign over the deed to their home to me, and they’re good to go! It’s the ultimate reverse mortgage. Take THAT, Fred Thompson.
Finally, I also offer group rates for highly dysfunctional families.
Oh, and free test jumps for any LVA member whose screen name happens to rhyme with either “dorkush” or “dillkoot”.
