The Importance of Family

Jerome Bettis who is going to the NFL Hall of Fame comments on the importance of family and having a father :
From the Detroit Free Press :

Bettis grew up on Detroit's west side in a stable middle-class family with his hard-working parents, Johnnie and Gladys, and two older siblings, Kimberly and John. He also grew up with the city's influences, good and bad, all around him. But his parents were the rocks. Johnnie, who died of a heart attack in 2006, was the chief of building and safety for Detroit and also taught electrical wiring at night school at Cass Tech.

"It was great to have two parents there because you get the nurturing from your mother and you get the sternness from your father," Bettis said. "With him there, he was my role model. He was a guy that I looked at and saw how you did things, how to be a man. I think there were a lot of benefits to having mom and dad in the household, and it felt normal."

The family's bond was evident.

"They were in the family together," said Bob Dozier, Bettis' coach at Mackenzie. "Most guys and girls don't have a father in the home or no parents; they stay with their grandmother or what have you; they're in a foster home. But he had two solid parents."


Bob

Agree. Lucky me, I didn't know any system existed other than a mom and dad who presented a united front, who model expectations of behavior, finances, education, planning for the future.

You have to salute single mom's (or dad's or grandmothers) who raise their kids to be responsible adults.

Unfortunately, the sad stories--single moms get tired of the struggle and marry the first guy(s) who comes along, who turns out to be a deadbeat, abusing mom and/or abuse the children, who grow up to be angry at the world and carry that legacy forward with disfunctional lives of homelessness and crime.

Good for Jerome Bettis going public with his comments. Guys like this need to be the ones that today's kids look up to, not the thug rappers and athletes who get a pass when they commit crimes.

I agree 100%. The success of children is often tied to being raised in a loving two parent household.

How do you feel about Charles Haley's comments to the new crop of 49er rookies?


Former NFL Star causes controversy after telling 49er team to 'act like the white guys' to stay out of trouble

There are players who bring bad habits and questionable behavior with them to the NFL . Add in lots of new found money and privilege and you have a receipt for trouble . It's a question of character , either you have it or you don't . Bob

I know a black south side Chicago kid (24 years old) who's fortunate enough to have had my buddy as his "Big Brother" for the past 15 years. Dimari's, who is now a college graduate, had another black south side friend suggest that he should have a kid. Dimari asked why, and his friend pointed out that "At this age, no one expects you to take care of the kid, and it's really cool". Luckily, Dimari has had my buddy as a father figure over the past many years, and the boy understands that his friend is irresponsible.

hmm, I am glad that someone is speaking on behalf of tradition two parent families. We surely need more of that in our society right now. I get on a high horse about not believing in divorce a lot because it is not the norm in today's world. Oddly, just saw a story with LeBron thanking his dad for his absenteeism and I have to agree with both. I think that the presence of good role models and the absence of bad role models and any combination of the two can make a successful spirit. While I had no biological father, I have always been VERY grateful for this fact (even as a child innately)....that being said, I had dozens of super male role models and unconditional love. I don't get how people can feel a void from someone not in their life and they are better off without. I have no resentment or abandonment. I don't miss eating shrimp because I don't eat shrimp....that's all. I don't miss someone I don't know. When people ask me if my parents are married the answer is yes. The only father I've ever had is married to my mother since I was 7. Had/have very involved loving, doting grandparents and uncles/aunts. We are the result of our experiences good and bad. What we learn from life dictates our success or failure. I can't say anything bad with the exception of working class, young parents and the regular stuff from that.

The biggest thing I've learned recently about familial relations is the size of a family indicates the closeness and well being of a person/family. I have a VERY large family and recently noticed the differences in personalities and closeness of mine vs 4 people families. When one person disengages in a 4 person family, the family disassembles. When one person goes missing from a large family, the family continues, the door is open for that person with forgiveness and open arms when they get their life together. My family is extremely close and everyone has high self esteem too because in a large family, people are accepted for who their unique personality, values and character are. Because there are lots of personalities, negative attributes are overlooked more. Someone is loud, someone is bossy (we are all bossy, lol), someone is the cook, someone is the mechanic, etc... My grandparents had 16 kids and were married one month shy of 67 years, my husband also had grandparents married 60 years. I say to people, I have never met someone married 60 years say they wished they hadn't wasted their life on their marriage and family. I have definitely heard many negative feelings and pain from divorce. I feel very sorry for my friends that speak to me about visitation and child support. My mom never sold my soul to a man for $75 a week. She happily (well, money was tight as a child) bought my new shoes and Easter dress without ever mentioning a man that didn't/doesn't exist. To this day, my mission/duty on this earth is to be a community for any child/mother that needs one. Only through the love and blessings of others was I given my blessed life. So I tend to agree with LeBron. For those who wish to be empowered by their history, all things are equal. I see the world as a beautiful, giving, supportive place of love because I had many caretakers while my mom finished school. I was everyone's baby, what can be better than that.

Would I be the person I am today having two married, biological parents, probably not. But the main thing is the absence of negative role models I think. I have never been told anything, but "you is kind, you is smart, you is important". It makes me sad to see people brush their kids aside.

One of the reasons todays society is so screwed up is because of kids not having a 2 parent family. It's nice to hear Bettis speak so highly of his parents and the roles they played keeping him down the straight and narrow path.