Job Opening In Fayetteville, AR

Actually, gonna be a couple job openings at the University of Arkansas !

Here is what the university IS NOT looking for in their next head football coach:



Having sexual relations with a 25 year old woman whom he just hired for a 55k University of Arkansas job.

Having sexual relations with a 25 year old woman whilst having a wife and 4 children at home.

Having sexual relations with a 25 year old woman whose fiance also works for the University of Arkansas.

Having sexual relations with a 25 year old woman and giving said woman a $20,000 cash "gift".

Having sexual relations with a 25 year old woman and lie to your wife and 4 children at home.

Having sexual relations with a 25 year old woman and lie to your boss, the Athletic Director.

Having sexual relations with a 25 year old woman and lie to the national press and media.

Having sexual relations with a 25 year old woman and attempt to hide that fact from the Arkansas State Police who are attempting to investigate an accident.

Having sexual relations with a 25 year old woman that you take for a late evening motorcycle ride, when you tell the world you spent that time with your wife and 4 children at a lake.


Interested applicants can send a resume to: Jeff Long, Athletic Director, University of Arkansas.

Compensation includes: $3,500,000 annually, and an $18,000,000 golden parachute if you don't get caught having sex with a 25 year old woman whilst having a wife and 4 children at home.


YCMTSU !

Could this be both shortened and broadened to state that the successful applicant will be a role model in the community and should therefore possess high ethical and moral standards?

Should the employer take responsibility for ensuring same? I.e. will the successful applicant be subject to annual review, and will said review cover said standards? How will the successful applicant be "scored" against those standards? On a scale of 0 - 13?

So what is funny about it?
And what do you have against Arkansas?


Tammi from N. GA

I hope she can get her life back on track.

To the best of DonDiego's knowledge he may never have had sex with a 25 year old woman.

Hmm, . . . $3,500,000 per year, . . .

I guess that Tiger Woods need not apply....

Ody could use a assistant LVA forum moderator.

Oh good lord allmighty! I hope so too.

Choice:

One GIGANTIC CLASS ACTION LAW SUIT ?

or

158 SEPARATE LAW SUITS ?


The Arkansas lawyers are going to have a field day with this ! For each one of the 158 applicants that were not chosen, because Coach was previously sticking his wrinkly 51 year old member in the hired persons auxiliary pie hole, they will have legal grounds to sue the living daylights out of the Razorbacks University.

Now, let's assume that with legal cost, settlements, lawyer fees, ect......it costs the university approx. 5 million each to settle this mess that Coach Petrino and his wandering member has created.

That's 5 million x 158 ! Something upwards of $750 million to make this go away !


Now, WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO PAY FOR THIS ?

There are two options to pay for this mess:

New students without a full ride. Figure each new student enrolling at the university who does not have a scholarship will have to fork over an extra 20 to 30k each semester.....all because Coach Petrino likes the young skanks and chose to violate state and federal laws.

or how bout the Razorbacks Booster Club ? Instead of providing new luxury vehicles, lavish vacations, numerous whores and prostitutes, fancy homes, ect... to the football players, they can use those millions of dollars usually piped to the players to help pay off the lawsuits......the lawsuits created because Coach Petrino is a pathological liar and has broken numerous state and federal laws !

I think I like option #2 ! Do you think the Razorbacks Booster Club will like Option #2 ?

Actually, they don't, and ironically, Ms. Dorrell is the one with the valid complaint.