Le Carousel de Coupon (TR)

Sorry for the thread title- I really don't speak French. The only words I know are "bonjour" and "I surrender".
But its fun to pretend, isn't it? And what better place to pretend than Las Vegas. Fremont Street is full of folks pretending to be superheroes, Disney characters, and
magicians. And I pretend too. In Las Vegas, I'm a wealthy, world reknowned heart surgeon - or at least thats what I tell the ladies sitting in the Ghost Bar at the Palms. The charade works pretty well until I get to
our Dinner destination at the Circus Circus buffet. Such is Las Vegas - what you see is not what you get ...but its sure fun to pretend.

And for those of us who like to leave the real world for awhile there's a carnival ride to explore this wonderous place. It whirls us around in a symphony of greasy eats, degenerate gamblers,
smokey casinos, scantily clad women - and an infinite stream of coupons for all of them. Come with me, won't you ? And lets take a ride on a little something I like to call "Le Carousel de Coupon !"





* * * Black Friday * * *

My first stop on the carousel came on Black Friday at the Las Vegas Outlet mall. Crowds were a little light which made for easy pickings at the store where I
buy all my clothes.



And I'm not kidding - those crowds really were thin. Do people not shop at the mall anymore? Makes me wonder if should sell a few shares of my life savings in Radio Shack.
I haven't checked on them in awhile. I'll call my broker after the Holidays.


The good news is those sparse crowds made it easy to access some great deals. I scored this leather jacker at the Andrew Dice Clay store.
I walked right up to the register with nobody in line. Now I was ready to go bump heads with all the goombas at NYNY.

ACCOMODATIONS

* * * * The Plaza * * *
The carousel dropped me off at the place I would call home for 2 nights. I found the lap of luxury at the Las Vegas downtown Plaza.



An awesome LVA deal paved the way for a 2-night BOGO.
The Plaza offers up $20 in matchplay coupons for hotel guests which took a nice bite out of the one night I paid for.



just look at the fantastic view of the strip I got.
And to think people actually pay up to stay at the Bellagio.




* * * Hilton Grand Vacations Club @ The Flamingo * * *


The remainder of my trip was a complimentary stay at the Hilton Grand Vacations club at Flamingo. Trust me when I say you want to stay here.
Its located immediately behind the Flamingo Hotel and shares the same grounds. You get your own reserved parking spot in the Flamingo Garage.
A very short walk will get you into the valet entrance of the Flamingo or Cromwell - and the monorail station is right out the front door.
The location cant be beat...and then check out the huge rooms with plush furnishings. You really get the best of both worlds: great strip location and plenty of space ...
and quiet.
I was lucky to get it. Usually employee-available inventory is hard to come by for this one.




HGVC kitchen


HGVC Living room


HGVC Bed/bath


HGVC Dining Nook


HGVC Shower


HGVC Laundry



Some might say my view from the HGVC was better than the one I had at the Plaza. Certainly riders on the High Roller had an intersting view.
I gave them a little fashion show wearing my new leather jacket..... and nothing else.

* * * Shake Shack * * *



My tum-tum was rumbling and the carousel responded by pointing the way to the new burger chain everyone is raving about. I had to check it for myself and see what the all the hub-bub was.

I opted for the "double roadside" which is just a double cheeseburger with carmelized onions. I have to say it was pretty frggin
good. I dont know if it was $10 good but it was pretty friggin good ! The burgers, cheese, onions, and bun all sorta emulsify together into one solid mass that glides down your esophugus.
I hardly had to chew. Allright, I kinda get the appeal. I ended up going twice.




But other stuff on the menu is overpriced junk, IMO. All ice cream treats are made with Soft serve which is what you get at Dairy Queen for half the price.
Perhaps Shake Shack uses more expensive, organic food coloring.
As an added bonus - you can get whipped cream on your shakes which I opted for. ANd, no, Im not gay. Lots of straight guys get whipped cream on their drinks.






* * * V - The Ultimate Variety show * * *



What carousel ride is complete without stopping at a side show? OR in this case "V the Ultimate variety show"? Coupons will get you in the door for $30 or thereabouts which is
a steal. One of the things I've learned in this town is there is no correlation between the amount I enjoy a show and the amount I pay to see it.
"V" is a great example. This show is cheap but is packed with multiple acts that left me cheering: comedy, magic, feats of strength and balance. Its only an hour long and it flies by.
Sorry to say, The people next to me didn't have as much fun - probably a symptom of me burping up my Shake Shack for the entirety of the show which was an amazing feat in of itself.


Bottom line - you can see this show and have fun or You can pay twice as much to see Chris ANgel's show that
does nothing except prove a talentless douchebag can go far in show business so long as a good marketing team tells teenage girls he should.



***

* * * Le Tour de Weck * * *

Lots of Western New Yorkers have settled down in Vegas and opened eateries. I let the carousel drop me off at a couple to try a delicacy you will find in every neighborhood
watering hole in the Buffalo-Niagara area and hardly anywhere else. Its simply called the "Beef-on-Weck".

Huh? What the f@ck is a "Weck", you ask? Help us out, Wiki !

"Weck" is short for "kummelweck" which is a German/Polish Kaiser ROll with sea salt and caraway seeds baked onto the top. Those goodies play nicely when you add them
together with rare roast beef and pure horseradish. Its a unique and addictive flavor that (in my opinion) one-ups other beef sandwhiches - even
the famous Italian Beefs in Chicago.
In my high school days I was known to eat eight of them at my Aunt's family gatherings. Now that I live in Indianapolis I dont find them much. The only places I come accross
Wecks are places where Western New Yorkers resettle like FLorida ...and Vegas. If you've never tried one I invite you to do so next time you're in Sin City. The Anchor Bar at
Planet Hollywood has them but dont bother with tourist traps like that. Get on the caroussel and hit the sticks like I did:


Weck Stop #1 : Johnny Mac's in Henderson, NV



If you are a Buffalo Bill's fan this is the only place in Vegas to watch the game. There are other Bill's bars in town but Johny Mac wont put on any other game. I watched an irritated fan with a
Steelers jersey walk in and out. Let me tell you, that just made my day. Gameday features a buffet of Buffalo foods like Wings, pizza, and pasta but I only came for one thing - the weck.
Johny Mac has a solid entry with a large roll and plenty of beef
atop. His beef was cut a little thicker than I like but it was tender and easy to sink your teeth into. One demerit would go to the fact that he serves his Weck with creamy horseradish.
That just doesn't cut it. In such a thick sandwich the creamy horseradish gets lost. You need the real nasal-clearing horseradish to compliment the flavor of this bad boy.
But, still, I wuffed it down and it was pretty damn good.





Weck Stop #2 : Moondoggies on Arville Rd just west of downtown.



You've seen them on "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives". The Buffalo style pizza is what they are known for but so what? You can get awesome pizza in lots of places - especially Vegas.
You need to go for the Weck here. Their Weck roll actually takes the form of a submarine. Now thats what I call a portion! And they serve it up with enough horseraish
to clear open up a clogged sink. Yeah, this is the one you want right here. Big snaps for portion size and flavor. I think this will be a regular stop every trip.

* * * Fun little shops * * *

Treasures from yesteryear's past abound on Le Carousel de Coupon. Most people wait in line to see Chumley at the pawn star's shop on Las Vegas Blvd. Whatever. That place sucks.
You'll find much more interesting treasures in the little antique shops on Main St between the Stratosphere and Downtown. I got a few knick-knacks aquired by a shop owner at the Riviera liquidation.
Check out these neat little menus that now reside at Cafe PJStroh. My food prices are much more reasonable.




Some other cool shops on Main:

* * * Silver Nugget * * *



What does a $4.99 Prime Rib dinner look/taste like? You'll find the answer on one of the carousel's most popular stops for low life dirtbags: The Silver Nugget.
I love this place. I wish they had more table games but its still the best bowling alley/casino/homeless shelter you will find in Las Vegas. You'll have a hard time finding
anything in their diner that reaches double digits in price and the Prime Rib special on weekends is no exception. I wasn't sure what to expect with a $4.99 cut of meat so I took
a couple Iodine tablets before placing my order. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. You get a perfectly edible cut (albeit small) along with with some decent sides. Real mashed potatoes.
They even doctor up the corn with some thyme and spices. oooo - its just like Emeril's !






Lawry's needn't worry about being dethroned from its title of Prime Rib king - but I'd stack the Silver Nugget's meal up against the
one you get at Magnolia's (4 Queens) which is double the price. I peaked at other patrons' dishes too. Everything looked good. Lots of big sandwiches and homestyle entrees. THink meatloaf
and pot pie. They even have one of those dessert carousels by the register (just for my trip!) that has all those pies and cakey things going round and round and round.

Got Grease?

Olivia Newton John is the new headliner at the Flamingo and the carousel dropped me off at the box office. Why not? And, no, I'm not gay. Lots of straight guys like Olivia Newton JOhn.
John Travolta kissed Olivia Newton John and he's .... not....god dammit! The point is I'm not gay!




And I'll tell you what - this is a really good show. Olivia looks great at age 67 and clearly has a much better plastic surgeon than Joan Rivers did. She runs through all her hits
from the 80's before finally breaking down the soundtrack of Grease. Everyone was doing something called the "Hand Jive". I thought that was just something I did under the covers
before going to sleep - but it turns out there's a song from Grease that has the "Hand Jive" as its own little dance. I didn;t know ho to do it but I didn't want to be left out - so I just started waving my arms
around randomly. I looked like the robot from "Lost in Space"

* * * The Lucky Club * * *



If the Silver Nugget is a beacon of optimism in a sea of despair then its sister property, "Lucky Club" is the oppositte.
Everypne has given up on life at the Lucky CLub: the patrons, the dealers, the cashier, and even the manager. You get the feeling the employees at this place got demoted to work
here after they came in too many times drunk at the same job at Silver Nugget. Seriously, its depressing. But on the brightside - they have matchplay coupon
so here I come! After I won my quick hand at Blackjack I was anxious to get out of Dodge but the cashier left to take a hangover nap. I had to
stick around for a half hour before somebody was available to cash my chips. I almost left them on the floor and walked out. Even by my standards this place is creepy.

And just how bad are things at the Lucky Club? Jackpot winners dont get a Mercedes Benz, Harley Davidson, or even a 10K check. Nope - they get this Fisher Price scooter
the manager car-jacked from the the IT Department parking lot at UNLV. Honestly, I would be embarrassed to ride this thing...and I dont get embarrassed easily.
Did I mention I saw Olivia Newton John?

* * * The Tuscany * * *



The carousel brings about many confusing conclusions like my unyielding adoration for a casino just east of the strip. Most people prefer Ellis Island in that neighborhood
and I cant blame them. Those free drinks, cheap eats, and coupons at Ellis Island are fantastic. But my heart belongs to Ellis Island's classier neighbor - The Tuscany.
At a glance the Tuscany is nothing special: 7/5 Bonus Poker w progessive (meh), 3/4/5X odds craps with lousy field bet (double meh). But here's the thing,
Tuscany also has tons of coupons
and twice a week they offer up point multipliers of 12x/7x which makes that 7/5 Bonus Poker suddenly a very interesting game.
And even during the busiest hours their gigantic bar always has seats available - so those VP terminals and drink service are readily available.

In case you haven't noticed - I'm not a high roller. I play quarter VP and craps with $5 chips...and the occassional slot machine. I got free meals at all 4 of TUscany's eateries which (sorry to say) all eclipse
anything Ellis Island offers up.

Here's my $60 steak Dinner comped at Tuscany Gardens.





And here's my comped steak & Eggs breakfast at Marylin's




I also ate at the Cantina (with half off coupon) and got coffee/danish at their coffee/danish place. I didn't spend one penny of my own cash anywhere except the quarter
VP machines....ok, and I probably threw a Benjamin down the Outback Jack slot. I'm so naughty!

Tuscany Cantina...

* * * Random Sights and Sounds on Le Carousel * * *


The Picasso exhibit in the Bellagio Gallery of Art is $16 with players card. Its a small exhibit but worth $16 to broaden your mind.
There's a nice coffee place right next door too.




* * * The Mardi Gras Casino.
I've seen them advertised and promoted on several Las Vegas websites. Its on Paradise Rd not too far from
the Westgate. What a joke. THey have a fully staffed players club and two security personnel to oversee a grand total of 18 machines. I think the gas station
on the next corner has a more impressive inventory. I didn't sign up or stick around. I was literraly in an out in 2 minutes.



* * * Siegels 1941 cafe at El Cortez.
This is what replaced the former steakhouse "The Flame". It looks like an upscale Johnny Rockets inside.
The new place offers up petty good food for reasonable prices...and paying with points gets you a 50% discount...and since
El Cortez awards VP points at the same rate as slots - points are very easy to accumulate. I've yet to hear anyone say they like the new place better than the old and
I am no exception - but its still one of the easiest places to get a comped meal and the food is good.

Food at Siegels...everything is ala carte







Le Carousel has a little something for everyone

* * * At New York New York



* * * Hooters one-ups The Lucky Club for best Jackpot prize.

* * * The End of the Ride * * *

I wish the carousel could take me around for another tour but Alas, the ride eventually ends. I had to give my seat to another rider.
My final stop dropped me off at the perfect place to relax and prepare myself for the long trip home:

KISS mini golf.




Sometimes you just need to wind down. Nothing settles my nerves like shooting a golf ball up Gene SImmons' tounge while hand jiving to "Dr Love".




And thats where my ride ended...this time. Many good wishes to you. And may your future rides on the carousel be as wonderous as mine.