Okay - can someone give a brief description of what bitcoins are and how you earn and spend them

I keep hearing little things about them and have no clue of what they are.

It's virtual currency. If you understand how stored value cards (prepaid debit) work, that's pretty close.

The Treasury Dept., the Fed, and the Comptroller of Currency would have jurisdiction, theoretically. I suspect it's just another scheme like Ponzi's postal certificates.

The Winklevi explain it: https://www.businessinsider.com/winklevoss-twins-explain-what-bitcoin-is-2013-11

I have heard bitcoins are a series of tubes, just like the internets....

Some sports books are using them to deposit money. They've skyrocketed in price and after a slowdown after some drug site bust, continue to climb.

you mine them throught your computer set up..butterflylabs.com....special processor and software and mega cooling fans etc
bitcoinlite is a fragment of bit coin like the dime is to the dollar, the nickel to a dollar so many lites make a bit coin different countries as I understand it have different values to the coin.. I stumbled on one site that gave out how many "mines" were operating in your state/city but can't find that site now hope this helps