Police: Thieves targeting people walking in neighborhoods at night

There are more important things than being right. Like saving someone from their ignorance. I don’t want to see fork injured or dead and I’m sure nobody else on this forum does either. There is a fair chance he would be approached by a criminal if he walked in the worst of Las Vegas’s black neighborhoods. If he walked it while using an expensive phone it might take a miracle for him to leave with the phone. On second thought, the criminals might think he’s packing ala Bronson in Death Wish and leave him alone. They wouldn’t imagine anyone being that stupid.

I thought about getting a gun, but it’s too much trouble. I’ve only shot a gun a few times in my life so I’d need to go practice. If I did have to use it justifiably it’s still a lot of time and trouble to go through. It’s easier just to be extra alert and cautious. I only circle back to my house at night when I can’t profile the driver and have only had to do it 4-5 times in a couple of years.

Oh come on. It's just a friggin' Samsung.

These damn ghetto walks are getting impossible to plan anymore.

The real problem is that one could substitute the name of any other major city in the article.
This problem is happening all over the country.

Yes, but at a rate about 50% LOWER than it was twenty years ago. But of course coverage of crime is up, what, 300%?

If you mistakenly think that crime has gotten worse in the US. that's god's way of telling you to turn off your teevee. Maybe the internet too.

Exactly. And it’s getting awfully damn frustrating.

If I had a son, he’d look just like . . . oops, sorry. Wrong indignant speech.

As I was saying, if I had a son, I’d try to steer him away from a career as a Ghetto Walk Arranger.

Ghetto Walk Arraigning can be a lonely master....We do it to serve the public.

The Few. The Proud. The Frustrated. Ghetto Walk Arrangers.


(The Persistent, too. One of these days, Forkush is gonna take that walk . . .)

Eventually, we all take the walk.

I'm looking at rebranding to Urban Walking Adventures....A walk on the wild side with a Barry Manilow meets the Thug Life Vibe.

I think it was even better as Barry Manilow AND the thug life. I mean, wow, can there be anyone in the whole world who doesn’t immediately think “thug life” upon hearing Barry Manilow’s name? Of course not. The two are inextricably linked, almost as closely as “fish” is linked to “bicycle,” for example.

At the same time, the name “Urban Walking Adventures” is just vague enough that no one will be able to figure out what the hell you’re really up to, and they’ll be too embarrassed to ask. So, you’ll have no problems qualifying for government subsidies and tax-exempt status. In short, we’re talkin’ the big leagues here.

It’s a brilliant idea, and if I were you, I’D DO IT! Then again, if I were you, you wouldn’t have been smart enough to come up with it in the first place, so it’s probably just as well that I wasn’t you. Clear?