Stephen Hawking reveals biggest mystery in Universe

This reminds me of a joke I heard during Mass:

God appears before a very pious man who lives in Hawaii. "Because you have shown yourself to be very holy," God says to the man, "I will grant you one thing that you pray for. What do you want?"

After thinking a moment, the pious man says, "Well, I would like to have a bridge that connects Hawaii with the rest of the continental United States so that all I have to do is drive there if I want to visit."

God berates the man for his seemingly petty prayer. "That is such a little thing you ask for. I am all-powerful, and I can grant you anything in the universe that you pray for. Now, think again and tell me what you want."

After another moment, the pious man says, "I have always found women a little confusing, so maybe you could grant me total knowledge about women. What they want, how they feel, what they think, why they do what they do. Tell me everything that there is to know about women."

God pauses a moment, and then asks, "So, do you want lights on that bridge?"

Men think they are simple and women are complicated.
That is actually the opposite.
We have you guys figured out and have for centuries.

Sure. Just show up naked with a six-pack.

LMFAO. I see this thread going to hell in a handbag real quick lol!!

Heres a pretty good one;

My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I'm in a good mood it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big fuckin' red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.


rusty shackleford

Nope. He is, for the most part, paralyzed from his illness. (ALS)

He "speaks" via the computer system that was made specially for him.