Slapinfunk... tell them the truth.
Cosmo is truly a special dog with special VP talents. using his special senses, Cosmo can determine when winning hands will appear on VP machines. So as Slapinfunk was playing he would talk on his cell phone to his girlfriend who would translate the dealt cards and replacement cards using appropriate growls and barks to Cosmo who would then reveal when the next royal would appear. Unfortunately slapinfunk was not playing the machines where a royal was due, and Cosmo had him moving from machine to machine looking for a machine that was due to hit. In fact, during the entire weekend, we didn't see even one royal at Caesars. Cosmo is an expert at this and no doubt saved Slapinfunk from wasting too much time and money on machines where no royal was coming. Good Cosmo, good Cosmo.