| The Vegas: Take a step back in time to the long-forgotten era of a gambling destination in the desert, with flashing neon signs, sequined showgirls, pink flamingos, tumbleweed blowing across the casino floor, no kids, bottomless martinis, 3:2 blackjack, and a strictly enforced dress code (and we’re not just talking "no muscle shirts or gang colors.") We think you're gonna like this one. A lot ;-) |
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| OTHER (email us your wizard ideas!) |
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| The "Forever Holiday" Inn & Casino: For all those people who can’t bear it when the tree and tinsel have to come down, here’s a casino just for you, where it’s Christmas all-year long! Santa, elves, sparkly lights, sleigh rides through faux snow - we just have to figure out a way to kidnap those awesome animatronic penguins from Bellagio. |
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| Casino Chocolat: Kind of like bacon, this one speaks for itself, only more exotically, perhaps. Puts a delicious new twist on the concept of chocolate chips, non? |
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| My Big Fat Gay Casino: OK, so the name needs some work but you get where we're coming fro and Vegas is getting kinda boring and grown-up. There once was a plan for an "LGBT" casino but it never happened, probably because it was going to be tediously stylish and painfully politically correct. That’s absolutely NOT what we have in mind. We’re talking downtown’s fake-fur-drag-queen-Karaoke-bowling fest, multiplied by a megaresort! Complimentary false eyelashes at check-in. |
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| Elysium, Las Vegas: With vampires perennially en vogue, the whole lair thing seems like a perfect fit, plus it harks back to the era when Vegas faked perpetual nighttime. The whole blood-sucking schtick seems to have plenty of PR potential, too, especially when you check the house edge on some of those popular Carney games... |
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| The "Under Construction": Genius idea, no? It solves the problem of at least one half-built monstrosity. Obligatory hard hats issued at check-in. Don’t just rent that bulldozer for fun: put it to good use build your own room! |
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| The BLT: No explanation necessary. Everyone loves bacon, obviously, while the name totally fits with the current trend for naming casinos things like the D and SLS. Winner! |
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| The Eco-sino: Never mind all those energy-saving lightbulbs and token recycling efforts. Put them all to shame with the fully organic, biodegradable, all-hemp resort-casino, where you get paid out in carbon credits instead of dirty cash. |
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| Barbie Dreamland: We were inspired by pix of Berlin’s Barbie Dreamhouse (Google it). Inappropriate demographic targeting? We think not! It’s got "bachelorette party" written all over it, plus what’s Las Vegas about in 2013 if it’s not about shopping and Barbie's going to be right at home in the land of sparkly couture lollipops. |
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Analysis
We had a lot of fun with this one (not to mention just finding out that Sugar Factory American Brasserie actually serves a Barbie Milkshake for real!); from the volume and content of your email feedback, it looks like our readers did, too. Thanks to everyone who took part; here are some of your wonderful, wild, and wacky suggestions (investors, take note!):
- Las Vegas needs an Ice Casino. Especially in the summer. [Ed: Maybe it should be "Fire & Ice" and revert to a snuggly log-cabin theme in the chilly winter months.]
- I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the "Vegas" idea. You saved the best for last! ’m in...where are my other investors? [Ed: Well, a few years ago Brad Pitt and George Clooney had an Ocean's-inspired idea for a casino with a dress code...].
- Redneck Heaven Hotel-Casino: Free PBR and Milwaukee's Best 40s all the time. Lighting done with "redneck" chandeliers made with multiple 15 watt CFLs (see hillbillyrepairs.com).Daisy Duke lookalike cocktail waitresses. Slots with gun replicas for handles. Free peanuts all the time and no trash containers. Ever-so-slight whiff of cow manure. NO PET RESTRICTIONS. Full automatic-weapons range in the back. The center of the casino could be a bombproof, see-through, bullet-proof glass "laboratory" where real rednecks would be able to blow stuff up (somewhat like "Mythbusters," but without the engineering). Real fishing pond with real fish re-stocked daily, available for slot club members to buy with points, as well as fully stocked BBQ pits where they could grill and eat. Themed rooms with stripper poles, trailer interiors, and mismatched yard-sale furniture. Restaurants that use only "recycled" dishes such as Cool Whip bowls, fruit jar cups, extra heavy-duty paper plates, and jack knives for steak utensils. [Ed: You're scaring us!!!]
- My only thought was Las Vegas 20th Century, or something like that, but there actually was a casino named 20th Century back in 1977-78, so that probably wouldn't fly. Anyway, the concept would be a casino that paid homage to the classic casinos of the past: one room themed like the Sands with a Copa Lounge, one like the original Sahara with camels and palm trees, one like the original Hotel Last Frontier, with hay on the floor and a western theme, and an old downtown section, with the storefront for the old Golden Slot Casino, a section from the Mint, etc. A few years ago there was a museum in the Tropicana that contained lots of old memorabilia from the old casinos and it was fascinating to look at. I think anyone that could create a new casino that highlighted some of the great old casinos of Las Vegas over the years could draw a lot of attention.
- I voted for the BLT. Gives new meaning to the term “Bringing home the bacon,” no? I can just imagine the smell the casino would pump onto its gaming floor. Wonderful!
- A complete sports-themed casino! Every section would have its own themed machines: horse racing, boxing, NFL, NBA, MLB, soccer (I guess), NASCAR, Indy racing, Formula One. Each could have its own themed bar. And TVs everywhere!!!! Have the current lines posted on screens in every section - the possibilities are endless. [Ed: Back around 2005, an outfit named Ultimate Sports Entertainment Inc. had grandiose plans for just such an establishment, somewhere out near Las Vegas Motor Speedway. We're still waiting...]
- Prison. All the rooms are like cells and the restaurants are like mess halls.The eye-in-the-sky would actually be people (with mirrored sun glasses) walking on catwalks above the tables.
- Call it The Americana, similar to The Vegas: Five areas of the casino for the best 50 years, '40s through '80s. Music, machines, and eateries with food from each decade. Maybe have a 6th area that would be named "Today" - an up-to-date area for the younger ones.
- Forget Caesars: Go all in with "Rome." Large co-ed baths; huge orgies of food; wagering on battles to the death (or near death). Oh, Wait...think I described Vegas already: Rehab, buffets, and NFL wagering.
- While vampires are my favorite, they are timeless, so the casino theme shouldn't be pegged to any one franchise, especially not something as shallow as Twilight. Also, there are so many other creepy-crawlies to celebrate and exploit, so let's go for more general horror! Casino Nuit de la Vie Mort - "where every night is Halloween." It should be a small, intimate storefront along the lines of O'Shea's. I imagine the entrance as a gaping, fanged vampire mouth, a la the old MGM lion entrance. A wide variety of Halloween costumes for all employees. Free stuff for patrons who come dressed up. Masquerade balls. Themed drinks way beyond Bloody Marys. Revival of the erotic bisexual vampire girlie-show Bite, plus new shows featuring other horror beings. Aggressively go after the horror-convention trade. Finally, I nominate P Moss (owner of the marvelous Frankie's Tiki Room) to run the place - that guy really knows how to make a theme joint swing! [Ed: We also referred this reader to Amazing Johnathan, who mentioned awhile back that he'd been hired to revamp -- no pun intended haha! -- the Vegas Club, following the success of his 2012 multi-floored SCREAMont Experiment haunted house attraction...]
- "World of CasinoCraft": a casino resort that completely revolves around video games and the hardcore gaming lifestyle. High-tech and digital everything. The walls and flooring could digitally recreate different video game milieus. Instead of the traditional upright or slant-top slot/VP machine with upright chairs, there would be enclosed gaming pods with comfy lounge chairs and all-surrounding video screens and audio. Cocktail servers could provide complimentary Red Bulls and Hot Pockets to gamblers. And of course, as players level up in their players club membership, they'll be given opportunities to go on epic gambling quests and defeat odds-busting bosses for legendary items and cash rewards.
- How bout the "Bundy Land Casino," where the moment you walk in you get a false sense of winning, avoid your wife and kids, and there are flashbacks of your glory days of high school popping up at every pull of the slot reel. [Ed: Isn't that pretty much all of them already?!]
