This might seem like a straightforward question that necessitates a simple answer, but it’s not.
Also, if you’re a prudish sort, you might want to give today’s QoD a pass. It’s based on some research done by Arnold Snyder for his Topless Vegas books and Snyder is anything but proper or politically correct.
First, we have to distinguish between what statisticians call the Raw Nipple Count (RNC) and the Stripper-Grade Nipple Count (SGNC). As Snyder writes, "If the female owner of the nipples I encounter at a topless pool (usually a European-style pool) would not, could not, or should not be dancing in a strip club, then her nipples are assumed to have the same entertainment value as mine and they don’t figure into the count."
(As an aside, he explains, "Let’s face it, men’s nipples have no entertainment value. They don’t do any of the multitude of wonderfully amusing things that women’s nipples do, which I’m sure I don’t have to enumerate.")
Next, Snyder explains the difference between European and American topless pools. He says that you go to European pools (such as those at the Wynn and Encore) to relax, catch up on summer reading, and even snooze in the lounge chairs. "The ambience is more serene than saturnalian," he writes. "The music is subdued. Bathers lounge around the edges of the pool where the water barely shows a ripple."
By contrast, you go to an American-style pool (such as those at the Venetian, Mirage, and Rio) to party. "At an American-style pool, the air-rattling sound system is cranked up to encourage dancing, with a DJ spinning top hits. Lots of beach balls are provided to discourage bathers from lounging, beer is sold by the bucket, and cocktail servers in teeny bikinis make the rounds with shots and shooters."
So the question now becomes, "How many women with stripper-grade nipples actually get topless at American-style topless pools?"
As alluded to above, there’s no hard-and-fast, so to speak, answer to that. It all depends on a number of factors.
For one, as Snyder writes, "Every American-style topless pool needs a starter, the first girl to take off her top. Once one girl bares her chest, the other girls look at her and say, 'Hey, mine are at least as good as hers,' and tops start flying off left and right."
So there could be dozens of stripper-grade women in bikinis at an American topless pool, but if the first one doesn't shed, none of them will.
Snyder explains that beach balls, aggressive DJs, sexy music, and, most of all, alcohol all contribute to getting things started.
"If you want to time your pool visit for maximum potential topless fun, plan to arrive at around 3:30 in the afternoon. By that time, many women have been at the pool since noon, knocking down piña coladas and margaritas and mojitos and basically getting good and juiced up. All it takes now is a starter to get the action going. The play here is to keep buying drinks for the girls in bikinis. Think of it as an investment in your immediate future."
And here’s another variable. "Some of the best topless pools are the ones where the strippers go. Strippers, of course, don’t have the same kinds of jitters as other girls. So stripper pools always have a starter as soon as the strippers show up." Snyder, of course, identifies those pools in his reviews in Topless Vegas.
Sometimes strippers don’t show up. What’s your play in that case? "If your wife or girlfriend or even just a friend is the type that likes to get her nipples out into the sun before it goes down, you can bring her along as a starter."
Bottom line? You take potluck in the topless department at Las Vegas American-style pools. But if you go with a definite plan in mind, you yourself could be the spark that sets off the doffing of bathing-suit tops.
