Question of the Day - 25 November 2013

At about 4:45 p.m. on October 22, it suddenly dawned on us that it was time to post yet another new LVA Reader Poll and, since we’ve been running these (initially weekly, and now twice-monthly) since September 2007, pretty much every time we find ourselves in a mild panic, bereft of ideas for anything new on which to canvas you, oh loyal readers. Then, at the 11th hour, some inexplicable inspiration will hit us, often from a totally unexpected direction, and before you know it, another reader survey is born.

Funnily enough, the more last-minute and frantic the compiling of the poll is, the more popular it seems to be, often, and this latest one, the results to which we published last Saturday, is a case in point. So popular did it prove to be, in fact, and so prolific in terms of email feedback generated, that we saved the latter to run in this forum, where we could do it more justice.

We make no further comment*, other than to say thank you SO MUCH to all of you who had the balls/sense of humor/trust to ’fess up -- the content arriving in the email "in" box made our day, night after night, and we’re just happy that our readers are keeping the Sin in Sin City and that we have the chance to share some of your more colorful exploits for all to enjoy. Here goes!

(*Actually, that part about "no further comment" is completely untrue: We chime in all over the place in what follows. Couldn't possibly resist!)

• "I screwed the wife with curtains open and all lights on in the Palms Fantasy Tower, across from the Palms Tower. Both of us had too much to drink. We did it for about 10 minutes. When we climaxed and got up we saw a young couple had been watching us. They were applauding. We took a nude bow and closed the curtains. Never again." [Ed: Bravo!]

• "Had (very fast) sex on the overpass between Bally's and Barbary Coast/Bill's."

• "Visit the Red Rooster every night when in Las Vegas. Best and cheapest party/show in town!!!! You never know, you may get lucky!! (New Year's Eve is a must-see event.) LOL."

• "Visited the Green Door! :)" [Ed: Ah, now there's a follow-up poll: 'Rooster or 'Door, Door or Rooster?!]

• "My most socially-unacceptable thing, although not necessarily the naughtiest, is that when in Las Vegas, I like to enjoy my cross-dressing hobby and dress as a woman. After dressing up, I'll go out to dinner or casino. Sometimes I meet up with like-minded friends. (There are a number of businesses in Las Vegas that cater to the cross-dresser.) Very enjoyable time."

• "I am a gay male. I have hired male escorts for sex while in Vegas. While not advertised like the female escorts, you can find them on gay sites online and there are many males in the business. The sex I receive is very HOT!!! LOL." [Ed: We're starting to feel like we really do need to spend less time at our desk and get out more. Sin City is passing us by and we live here, dammit!"]

• "I always handle our gambling budget -- gather it together before we leave, split it up and get different denominations of the dollar bills, put it in the envelopes, etc. Then, when we get to Vegas, I tell him how great I am doing playing with the same twenty while he is gambling away his budget for the day. What I do is sneak extra money and play with that also. It sounds mean but been doing it for years and he thinks I am always lucky."

• "Was in Vegas and had thoughts of getting married, but didn't make the trip specifically for that occasion. Then a family event prompted us to go ahead and do it. Not that big of a deal, except we kept the marriage a secret from my whole side of the family till we staged a 'mock' wedding for other family members who were not there for the real (impromptu Vegas) wedding. So now we have two wedding anniversaries!" [Ed: And your family remains none the wiser? Better not ever offend the in-laws with blackmail ammo like this at their disposal lol.]

• "Naughtiest moment? When I was selected by a topless dancer to join her on stage while she danced for me, and then requested that I pull her shorts down…....." [Ed: Oh la la!]

• "I answered 'stayed up all night,' which is the only thing I've done on that list (how boring) but I'm a night-owl, so don't find that to be naughty at all :)"

• "So, I meet this really hot good-looking Asian girl at the Marquee. I flirted and after dancing and having a bowl together, I picked her up and we left to my room at the Mandarin Oriental. She, well… to cut the story short, it turned out it was a man. But she still was pretty … we had a lot of fun that night. If I were to read this again, I would not send it!" [Ed: We're happy you didn't and did, respectively -- good for you for being open-minded. Doesn't sound like you regret it.]

• "Gave myself a 3-foot birdie putt." [Ed: At first we thought this was a euphemism and inquired of the writer, who laughed and explained simply that "golf is a strange game." Ah, now we get it: You CHEATED at golf. Ha!]

• "Not underage, but I once got so drunk on tequila shots - consumed during an extra-long crap session at Slots-A-Fun - that I puked in the bushes in front of the Stardust until they ran me off. Then I passed out in a McCarran bathroom stall (how did I get there?) and *almost* missed my red-eye flight home. Took a cab directly from the airport to work in the morning!" [Ed: Way to go! We once did pretty much the exact same thing in Cannes, where all the women are perfectly groomed and don't run around stinking of booze in their underwear EVER, especially not in the morning... Had spent previous night teaching then boss how to do flaming shots of green Chartreuse (Why, Lord, WHY??!!) -- after several martinis. Locked myself in the airplane toilet for the entire flight back to England to avoid ALL human interaction ;-)]

• "One time in Bally's lobby, an older man with a somewhat intoxicated much younger woman came toward us from the casino. She was swinging her opened purse like crazy, with gum, tissues, etc. spilling out. As she walked by us, a wad of bills fell out and my husband nonchalantly stepped on it and waited till they passed us. it was over $100! We wondered if she was an independent contractor or if she had a pimp... Oh well!"

• "Slept with someone I didn't know."

• "One time I was overpaid by the blackjack dealer and told her. The other people at the table berated me for doing so because I made the dealer look bad and I could get her fired, etc. So I no longer tell the dealer when he/she has overpaid me, even though my morals tell me otherwise." [Ed: We have to question your table-mates' motives and whether they just wanted to take advantage of a weakness, because better she correct the mistake while you're there, than her chip-count come up short later...]

• "Stole all the bottles of lotion from the maid's cart at the Mirage. The stuff is amazing!" [Ed: Ooh, ooh, we once did the exact same thing at Caesars with all the lotion, shampoos, AND conditioners! Not that they were that awesome per se, but the super-kitsch little plastic Doric-column-shaped bottles they came in -- still come, we hope? -- were PRICELESS. Lined my whole bathroom with them in London!]

• "Not sure how 'naughty' this is, but I lost my virginity there in the early '90s. Was with some friends for my 19th B'day (yeah, I know - seemingly ancient to have this happen) with no real plans to have happen what happened. We were out some place celebrating and getting a tad loud when we drew the attention of a drop-dead beautiful older woman (early 30s) [Ed: Yikes, that does count as "older" when you're 19, huh? Now we're deeply depressed!] who was "dressed to kill" in an outfit that left very little to the imagination. She came over to the table and asked what we were celebrating and my friends told her it was my birthday. She asked them what they got me and the loudmouth of the group said they brought me here to take me to a brothel since I was a virgin. Her eyes lit up and got massively big. With an ear-to-ear grin, she came to where I was seated, sat down on my lap facing me, put her hand between my legs, and grabbed 'it,' and said something that I still recall verbatim 20+ years later: 'Why wait until tomorrow for what you can do tonight?' She then proceed to lick me from my neck to my ear and passionately kissed me, saying there was a lot more where that came from, as she winked at me, took my other hand, and placed it between her legs. My friends were both howling with laughter and strongly urging me to go with her. She got up and started to walk out, turned and with her index finger motioned for me to follow her ... and I did. We got in her car and drove back to her place. Around noon the next day she drove me back to the place where my friends and I were staying after having 'done it' 3 times. I have been married for about 15 years to a fabulous woman but we have never had sex anywhere near as amazing as that first night and doubt we ever will."

• "Went out on a date with soft-core porn star."

• "Can't tell you or I would be in jail!" [Ed: Have you read all the other stuff? Half our readers could be in jail if they'd been caught LOL. Go on, 'fess up. Unless it murder or an armed robbery... Oh, you didn't pinch Celine's bottom, did you?!]

• "Had sex in fire pump room in hotel staircase." [Ed: That doesn't sound very comfortable, but we bet it was fun!]

• "While my wife was asleep I left our room and went to a strip club." [Ed: We wonder what she does when you're sleeping... Ha!]

• "Vomited in a slot machine tray." [Ed: Ah! So it's YOU we have to thank for those TITO things, eh?!]

• "Kissed my panty-less wife's mommy parts on the Palazzo's escalator. 'Oh What A Night.'"

• "Hotel housekeeping walked in on me and wife while having sex. We continued while house keeper watched." [Ed: Who tipped who that time? LOL]

• "My now wife, then girlfriend, and I made love in one of the cabana’s by the pool, which was just a tent with pool lounges in it, at the Desert Inn, after midnight, back in 1999. 5 minutes or so after ending our activity a security guard came in with a flash light and asked us to please leave the pool area."

• "Had sex in the Stardust Jacuzzi at 3 a.m., totally naked."

• "Nude in the hot tub at Flamingo at 4 a.m. having sex with stewardess. What a night!"

  [Ed: We're starting to notice a theme here...]

• "Las Vegas is an underwear-free zone." [For you, personally, or in your experience everyone in town goes commando all the time? We forgot the other day, but don't generally make a habit of it. We have friends, however... You must know them LOL]

• "In regard to your current 'naughtiest things you've done' poll, fortunately, the Statute of Limitations is long expired. I found myself unable to simply select "more than one item," since I confess: I am 'guilty as charged' for all but two of the choices (namely, sunbathing topless and gambling when I don't approve, since that's not the case). Now, 40+ years later, I clearly remember drinking and gambling underage, with a home-made fake draft card, and than being escorted from the establishment by the owner ... while being told by him to, "come see me again in six months when you're legal." May be the highlight of my gaming-career naughtiness (at least the one I'm willing to confess to), since he was a colorful cowboy and well-regarded legend of Vegas, who later went on to establish one of Las Vegas's premier gaming traditions: the WSOP." [Ed: OMG, you were personally 86'd by Benny Binion for gambling underage? That is a story.]

  "To me, your list is more of a bucket list of things TO DO! After all, Las Vegas is also referred to as SIN CITY, and I, for one, will help them keep and earn that nickname. My behavior, attitude, and moral compass, while in Las Vegas, are definitely off."

• "Well, I am 61 years old and have been going to Vegas at least once or twice, and sometimes more times a year, since 1980. There's not too much I haven't seen or done, but all of this took place back in my younger days. (Well almost all!) The things not listed in the poll pertaining to me are obviously related in more detail to sex LOL.

  "It has occurred to me, when thinking about my answers, I have had a lot of sex in Vegas, but I suppose what would be considered 'naughty' (or harmless fun, depending on your point of view ha!) would be having had sex in some unusual places, including: on a balcony overlooking the pool during the day at the old IP (Quad); in a woman's bathroom stall at Paris (very clean, nice stalls actually lol); and under a blanket by the Flamingo pool on a rather cold day when only a handful of people were out there.

  "Then there was the time a friend of mine said to me, 'I have some friends from Los Angeles who are staying in a luxurious high roller suite at Caesars and they love to party.' Well, that 'party' turned out to be an actual orgy with about 20 of us all having safe sex, (even back then) with each other. Wait that looks bad! Let me clarify: men with women, and a few women with women, not that that's a bad thing :-) Seems like there could be more instances, but I'm too old to remember! Thank you for reminding me about some of the many, many great times I have had in your city over the years. Like the saying goes, 'What Happens in Vegas, stays in the Clark County Sheriff's files' :-)" [Ed: Ha! We like your style. Hey, wait, do you know the dude who wrote in with the comment above you there? If not, we think you two need to meet! This could be a match made in heaven!!!]