Q:
Following the HUGE response to our Reader Poll on what type of fellow gambler most annoys you, we opted to run your feedback as a QoD, since there was just too much for the allowable space on the Poll Results page -- and congrats to you all for the imaginative designations! Never mind the "season of goodwill": Get it off your chests, people (although we don't want to wreck any marriages -- see below!) We have retained
your use of our original CAPITAL LETTERS for added ANGER emphasis :-)
A:
- "The people who annoy (and sometimes amuse) me the most are the ones playing slots who have their 'lucky' charms prominently displayed and who rub and pat the display screen. A lot of them even have a little chant going on like it's a religious experience!?"
- "Those people who think they own the place. They either play 2 or 3 of your favorite machines at the same time, never willing to relinquish one to you, or they decide to go somewhere and lean their chair against the machine. Some are so brave/audacious as to leave their money in the machine!" [Ed: I don't think "brave" is how we'd term them...!]
- "The craps player who throw a handful of $1 chips all over the table and makes everyone wait while the stickman has to figure out what bets he wants to make."
- "My main peeve is the SPACE INVADER: he/she has to sit right next to me, even though there may be 10 empty seats for the same machine in the same row(s). Of course, the machine next to me may be his/her 'lucky' machine on which he/she won a jackpot. I would consider myself the RABBIT, hopping from machine to machine after a few spins, although once upon a time, I used to play half my bankroll on one 'losing' machine. My husband is the BIGGEST LOSER He probably has had his picture taken by the eye in the sky at many casinos...pounding the machine, cursing his bad luck, throwing his hat/slot card, etc. One of these days, he will find himself escorted out and banned from a casino." [Ed: Very possibly! Just make sure you "hop" out of harm's way so they don't realize you're together. Been there, done that!]
- BUTTON SLAPPERS and DINGERS: Slappers pound the buttons and Dingers hit max bet instead of deal [Ed: thereby generating a needless "ding" noise with every play]. All these added noises are distracting and annoying. Remember YOU are not the only one playing. Have some consideration."
- "The person who's an EXPERT at every table game and knows all the odds, house advantages, and 'sucker bets' and is not afraid to share their knowledge with the entire table. Yet, they still play the game! If you're going to complain about the odds, don't go to Vegas!" [Ed: Or at least if you do, don't play roulette -- or three-card poker (unless you have a strategy card).]
- "The SLOW POKE: My LEAST favorite gambler is the one who takes a long time at the tables. These folks are either too busy talking with friends/the dealer OR don't know what to do and take a long time to come to a decision. Please make up your mind; I'm in a hurry to lose my money! ;)"
- "Actually, my most disliked person is the LOUNGE ACT: the non-player who lounges in the seat beside their friend while their friend plays. They take up the machine, contribute no money to the casino, and act all bothered when you politely ask them if they are going to play the machine."
- CONAN THE DESTROYER: Attempts to physically beat the machine into submission by pounding the keys as if they had personally attacked him. I actually watched one of these idiots break a video poker machine at the Palms by hitting the keys so hard that three of the hold buttons no longer worked. They also usually machine hop, so they can share their wonderful habits with as many other players as possible."
- "I had a hard time choosing just one (at my age, everything bothers me.) My favorites were the Tapper, the Screamer, and the Scumbag. One that wasn't on the list was the SHOUTER. This person stands right next to you and talks to his nearby large group of friends in a very loud voice."
- "The person next to me who's winning, winning, winning...while I am losing, losing, losing! Some day I am going to bop that person over the head and steal all of their money!" [Ed: Ha!]
- "MR. I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT: Hits on all women, even the obvious lesbians like me, because he believes he's God's gift to the ladies."
"Craps players who pi$$ me off are the ones who cannot keep their hands above the rail when the dice are in play- calling out last minute bets and invariably throwing off the pace of the game. When I have the dice I take aim and intentionally hit stray hands on my come out rolls and this generally discourages the bad behavior. Plus the stickman hollers at them to watch their hands. It is not my fault that they got hit since the stickman sets the pace- when the dice are passed I wing them down the table. Also I am irritated by those "bad" people who play the "dont's". I got no time for DARK-SIDE BETTORS. Craps players are all superstitious, to some extent, and these types of bad behavior bring out the sevens like nothing else."
- I hate the MOOD KILLER. I enjoy a good cigar while playing video poker or slots. I like to sit, play, sip on my drink, enjoy a good smoke, and people watch. To me it's part of the Vegas experience. I hate the person who sits down next to me and begins to complain about the smoke or starts waving their hand. I try to be as accommodating as possible by not blowing the smoke in their direction or keeping the cigar away from him/her, but if you don't like the smoke then move. C'mon it's a big casino." [Ed: And you were there first!]
- "A variation on the scumbag but aimed primarily on the CIGAR SMOKER [Ed: Uh-oh!] who takes a drag on his stogie maybe once every 5 minutes. In between times, the odor and smoke drifts like a rolling fog over the entire bank of machines. The stogie itself is chewed and gooey on one end and a burnt, smoldering jagged log at the other end [Ed: Eeeuuww!!! - but we know what you mean as our father used to smoke 'em that way -- and in the car, on long journeys, too!] Ashes accumulate but never find their way into an ashtray. When the smoker coughs (and he invariably does) its like the rolling rumble of a dying volcano; coughs and sputters, and more fitful smoke." [Ed: Perhaps this person would be better termed the VESUVIUS!]
- The GRIM REEKER: Sits next to you, reeking of ancient body odor and foul cigarette smoke, and tops it off with lethal coffee breath!"
- "The CATFISH - that is, the person who goes around to all the Ultimate X Poker machines and taps through all the games and denominations looking for multipliers left by unsuspecting players or, worse yet, a pair of catfish who lure someone to the game and have them leave large multipliers for their partner to swoop in and play." [Dastardly tactics, indeed! For those unfamiliar with the exercise in volatility that is Ultimate X Poker, check out Bob Dancer's recent column on the subject.]
- "The VIP, i.e., the drunk who gets loud, belligerent, uses VERY foul language and berates the dealers, then demands comps and special treatment because they're a "VIP."' [Ed: Very Ill-Mannered Person?!]
- "The SLAPPER, a.k.a. the video poker player who slaps the buttons. On my last trip to Vegas I ran into a player who slapped buttons so hard, he wore rubber protectors on his fingers." [Ed: Seriously, they make those??!! Wow.]
- "All of the choices were great and I have seen them all! There is the HUSBAND & WIFE trying to gamble together (my husband and I gave up trying that long ago*). The wife is allowed to sit at the machine, but the husband leans over and hits the spin button. In doing so, he invades my space and doesn't appreciate it when I politely ask him to lean on the other side where there is no player!" [*Ed: It probably saved your marriage!]
- "The OBLIVIOUS NON-GAMBLER: The person (man or woman) who sits at the machine next to their significant other and isn't playing, when there are no open machines. Now it's up me to ask them if they're playing or not and to please move if not (which I would never do)." [Ed: Oh, yes, that's a GREAT one! It's worse when there's a whole row of 'em sitting at a bar and the bartender's too busy/afraid to lose tips to explain the machines are for GAMBLERS and you figure you'll find your car "keyed," or worse, if you dare to suggest yourself that they might like to move so you can PLAY!]
- "The SUGGESTER: they watch you and make comments on your play. For example, on a slot machine I had a guy come up to me, with "If you change your bet you will win" or "If you stop the reels, you will do better" or "If you keep pressing the reels during the bonus..." [Ed: Oh, yes, another good one. We've all been there. "If you shut up and keep your dumb advice to yourself, you might NOT get a DRINK IN YOUR FACE :-)]
- "Pet peeve: The FLOURISHING WAPPER [Ed: Ooh, fancy!] in video poker. A person who waves his hands over the buttons with a flourish, like he is conducting an orchestra or something and often 'waps' the buttons very hard, like he is angry with them." [Ed: He probably is, and the feeling is probably entirely mutual! That's one of the reasons we get so many "sticky buttons" -- that and the spilling SCUMBAGS]
- "It's the GUARD DOG that bugs me. He or she stakes out 2 or 3 machines and plays them simultaneously, often using cigarette smoke to mark and defend their territory." [Ed: Ha!]
- "Awesome poll, LVA! [Ed: Thanks! It was a reader suggestion, so we can take credit only for recognizing genius when we see it :-) ] Being what I consider an advantage BJ player, one of my 2 biggest peeves are: The KNOW IT ALL sitting at the table and throwing out ignorant comments on how to play, when they have absolutely no clue about what's really happening! Then they get really pissed when you're hitting on 12s against the dealer's 2s. My wife actually had a woman threaten her physically because she didn't think my wife knew how to play and she was losing. She ended up get kicked out of the casino. My second peeve is the player who loves to blame the dealer for every bad hand -- really annoying!" [Ed: Especially for the dealer!]
- "The CHEAPSKATE person who comes up to the bartops, puts in $5, gets a 'free' beer, cashes out his $5, and leaves no tip."
- "The PARANOID: always looking behind/to either side, and if they see you watching, even for a moment, they get incredibly defensive, as if YOU'RE the reason they were dealt a 16 to the dealer's ace, a 9-high pai gow, or threw point/seven at the craps table."
- :The PEEKER: Constantly peeks at your spin to see what, if anything you won."
- "All of these 'types' are so incredibly annoying, that even when I am on a 'hot' machine, I will move. I gamble to have fun, not to be annoyed!"
- "Here are a few more to add to the list: The first one would be all of the above. I think we all have had an annoying person sit next to us at a table or machine that has more than one of the listed traits, but another would be the STINK POT -- someone whose body odour is enough to make you faint. My other suggestion would be the PEACOCK -- usually a senior woman who didn't know when to stop with the cologne."
- "I mostly play poker and can't stand the LOUDMOUTH KNOW-IT-ALL who criticizes everyone else's play at the table -- then turns around and makes the same play himself and can come up with dozens of reasons as to why it was such a good play! Running a close second is the POOR WINNER who plays a hand badly, then sucks out on the river card and spends the next hour bragging about how good he is."
- "Too bad I couldn't vote for all of them. As a frequent Vegas visitor, I encounter all of them on every trip. Some so bad, security has to step in, e.g., someone physically punching the machine so hard it lifts up on its stand. If I'm only allowed one; then the stalker would be it. I've actually had people physically push me aside as I stand up to leave."
- ""The LONELY ONE: lots of empty seats all over, and he sits next to you."
- "Not just the SLOB smoker, but any smoker. When, Oh when, will they just set aside one small area for smokers (and outlaw cigars altogether). How would they like me to sit next to them, take a sip of my drink, and then spray it all around them?"
- "Yes, I am a smoker. I don't like it when someone sits next to me when thy know I smoke and then sit there and bitch about it." [Ed: Yes, like the "cigar feud" above, we did deliberately juxtapose these two: FIGHT! FIGHT! We jest. We are a smoker -- hmm, we sound like the Queen! -- and get similarly annoyed if we were there first and are smoking as utterly considerately as we can -- abstaining if you are eating, shielding our smoke and blowing it away from you, sitting downwind of you etc. -- but even as a smoker, we can get REALLY PISSED at other smokers who leave a cigarette burning in the ashtray without smoking it (huh? It stinks, and why did you light it up if you're not going to smoke it. Might as well pull out a dollar bill, roll it up, and burn that, too! No one likes smoke being blowing in their face -- even smokers hate that! There is, we believe, a happy medium and a considerate way to live and let live.]
- "The LOOKY-LOO: This is the person who comes up to a table where you are playing and then asks the dealer to explain the game to them, even though they have no intention of ever playing. Since most dealers are incapable of multi-tasking, you have to wait while this person asks question after question that could be easily answered if they just read the little pamphlet that they give out at the table."
- "The CHICKEN FEEDER: This is the tool who only approaches a crap table after it becomes hot and rudely pushes into the crowd... then grinds the game to a halt with his ridiculous and high-maintenance bet requests. Without exception, this deflates the mood at the table, leads to the inevitable and premature 'seven out' and then he quickly exits before someone clobbers him."
- "MY SISTER-IN-LAW: Every time she gets a decent win or a bonus round on penny slots, she shrieks/whines for her husband (and the entire casino) to look at what she won. Much like the SCREAMER you describe, except you can't pick your family and she is mine! The STALKER is a close second for me!"
Hope you all feel better after that little QoD group-therapy session. We do! Now, here's to happy -- and CONSIDERATE! -- Holidays to everyone!
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